Breaking News

It is with regret that the admin team announces the first person in the UK has succumbed to Covid 19, The patient had many underlying health issues but alas is no longer with us, so a few facts.

Covid 19 is not as bad as it seems, to catch it well it is a virus, Think of a jelly bean, that is it a little packet of problems hiding in a fatty case, it does well in the cold as it will not dehydrate and die, again the old adage coughs and sneezes spreads diseases applies.

If you are of good health then you have no need to worry, we are not talking about a plague, It is a relative of the flu family, you will survive it is no big issue.

The government is recommending a 1 meter exclusion rule, this is useful to protect yourself, those most at risk will probably carry some form of mobility aid, so we the admin team suggest that poking sniffy oiks with a walking stick to be an adequate form of viral defense.

However in respect to the age Diaspora and opinion’s of those of the site It is unlikely that any of you will engage in conversation with a carrier.

meanwhile, why the fuck is there no paracetamol and toilet roll in asda!

A pubic announcement on behalf of Admin

132 thoughts on “Breaking News

  1. I wonder what happened to Sir Limply?
    I hope the old bugger is still out there…
    Stout fellow…

  2. petition (see above) over 22000 as of now.
    b.t.w, who fuck funds the muslim council?

    • Who funds the muslim council? Every “Indian” restaurant, with their islam approved jizya tax on whitey.
      Among many, many other muslim businesses.
      Well, best be off to Greece for some target practice with the four pounder!

  3. The first fatality due to Corona Pop Chinki Virus and the BBC’s main headline?
    ‘Watch USA vs England in the She Believes Cup’….

    Not even death and a national crisis stops these vermin and their rampant PC shite…
    Fucking bastard cunts….

  4. In regard to lack of loo roll in shops, buy kitchen roll and cut it in half instead.
    Or wash you bum in the shower.

      • No VG. My problem is when I type the second window as it were that drops down doesn’t as anymore. Doesn’t stop me posting. Just annoying me. No problem with Noms, just posted one as you can see.

      • I have posted Noms late in the night like this before. And only a few minutes later they are gone. It just coincides with night Admin clearing the page.

        That is what the night shift do,the peg up the nominations in archive

      • wot – like hanging them on the washing line, all in a neat little row – great and very colourful!!

  5. Basic hygiene practices used to be the done thing years ago: always wash your hands, always use tissues when coughing/sneezing; always cover your mouth ditto blah blah

    But all that seemed to have gone out the window some 20 years ago when most people (young cunts mostly) either didn’t know, or didn’t care about such things.

    Well I suppose now is pay-back time, especially those cunts who sneeze in public places, or offices and never cover up; or those other cunts who gob all over the pavements.

    Footballers need to set an example, because quite often you’ll see then spitting on the pitch, which can’t be healthy. So they need to stop doing that and just swallow it down.

    No doubt the Left will blame Brexit for this shit even though it started on the side of the world.

    • “Footballers need to set an example, because quite often you’ll see then spitting on the pitch, which can’t be healthy. So they need to stop doing that and just swallow it down.”

      Good point, Techo. In order to help combat the spread of the fucker, the Premier League have banned handshakes. However, no mention has been made of said gobbing which surely must be far worse than touching a cunt’s hand. I’m sure this wont stop them grappling with each other at every opportunity either.

      • I rememember a “Room 101” when Jo Brand said that she’d choose footballers gobbing on the pitch to go in.

        I’d love to see every footballer in GB gob all over the bloated, unfunny douchebag. At least it’s not acid (tho am not sure about our friend Komodo…).

  6. Caught the fucker. Rasps your throat like a carpenter’s plane and makes you cough like buggery. Most unpleasant. Statistically at my age I should be dead.

    Unfortunately for the rest of the world I seem to be surviving and the symptoms are subsiding. Still a bit chesty but lots better than a few days back.

    And, no, I’m not kidding…

    • fancy a pint – it’s time to show the world what you’re made of ……..

  7. Any excuse to more more antisocial than i already am, while stocking up on cake, crisps, curries and booze.

  8. WT actually bloody F is going on?? I’ve just been to take a well earned dump, and had to wipe said shitty buttocks on a piece of Forbes magazine! Nanny says all the oiks have completely cleaned out all the Ultra-Soft avec Aloe Vera from Waitrose! I mean, do these plebs think they are going to shit themselves to death, or what??

  9. See this sheboòn fight over bog roll in Australia:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzm1XSnT-oI

    Panic buying, instigating further panic buying, from cunts afraid that the panic buyers are going to panic buy before they have a chance to, is a bigger threat than the virus. Cunts should be made to watch George Romero movies to make them understand their own hysteria is what is their undoing, not the virus.

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