Archbishop Andrzej Dzięga

Archbishop Andrzej Dzięga is a cunt, isn’t he?

God works in mysterious ways.

Archbishop Andrzej Dzięga, Archdiocese of the Catholic cunts in Poland, Chief Poobah of fairy Gobbledeegook, and wearer of ridiculous penguin hats recently said that Catholics should not only continue attending services, but also partake in the communion ritual. That means mingling with other credulous divits whilst also supping and slurping Jesus’s blood from the same, shared cup.

Whaat? How come? Well, because “Christ does not spread germs and viruses”.
Oh Lord, not another load of contaminated, soon-to-be-dead cunts. Yes, but acceptable as they’re Catholics. Let’s see how long those pews are chock-a for, shall we Andrzej?

Meanwhile in Rome, in a rather dramatic move, they’ve closed all the churches. Ah well. At least the kids will be safe.

Catholics: Whether they’re gullible cretins, choirboy-diddlers, ignorant mooks, or kiddie fiddlers, they’re always here to entertain us.

God was not available for comment because he doesn’t exist.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

120 thoughts on “Archbishop Andrzej Dzięga

  1. Boris as got it, verge of tears Matt Hancocks got it, ET stunt double Chris Whittys got it.
    How come only Tories are getting it?
    Magic grandad, Flabbott?
    Dawn Butler?
    Theyre all in London, think at least a few Labour types would get it?
    Maybe coronavirus is leftwing?, foreign, causes misery , causes financial problems,
    Put it in the leadership race.

      • And you don’t want to get too close to Flabbott in case the gravity sucks you in.

        Morning all.

      • Morning MNC. Like I said it’s an exposed nerve that feels like somebody’s stabbed me in the face when I eat or drink something, particularly something cold. Otherwise it’s fine. The worst part is not knowing how long I’ll have to wait until all this is over to get it sorted. My timing stinks.

      • Are there any reliable records on the number of people who are orbiting her ?
        Good morning moggie.

      • Morning Jack, unfortunately Stephen Hawking died before his ‘Gravitational Pull of The Flabbott Black Mass’ theory was completed. Its open to debate for the big brains of NASA now.

      • Don’t worry LL, it’s only happens when Dianne Abbott spreads her legs and pull her piss flaps apart , the enormous gravity that her vagina pulls in only happens then, so as long as she keeps her legs closed we are all perfectly fine

      • Morning Jack. At the last election it seems there were nearly 40,000 hovering around her are. Reports of the numbers in actual orbit are unreliable because of the smell.

    • Magic grandpa has already stated the governments spending on corona proves he was right all along. The cure for corona is the destruction of the economy, introduction of socialism for all and the removal of freedom for as long as the government sees fit.

      People are told to stay home as their livelihoods are laid to waste. They now say the current restrictions may be in place until September.

      The virus is being used to change the world far more than it would if left to its own devices. The police are asking people to report those they believe to be breaking the rules.

      • After repeatedly saying they wouldn’t politicize the chinky virus outbreak the Labour Party have been doing a good impression of exactly that!!
        Leading from the front the unflushable turd Corbyn who has said his disastrous election manifesto on spending has been proven right? Did mystic jezza
        foresee the chinky flu pandemic back in November? FUCK OFF you cretin !!
        And as for the church acting inappropriately QUELLE SURPRISE!!
        Weren’t some idiots in the Labour Party advocating special status for Jewish people and the peacefuls as well?

        How long before we see some cunts trying to organise a march ?

        March against Coronavirus……

        Stupid cunts

      • The utlimate proof that any of Magic Grandpa’s theories are correct would be his own death. Senile old git. (quoting Not the Nine o Clock News).

        As for da Katolic Church, I worship in the side chapel of the Chubby Church…lovely smell of…incense ??

    • Morning Miserable.
      Angela Rayner has self-isolated because she has symptoms of coronavirus that are getting worse. , I believe it has more to do with the fact she is an ugly loud mouth cunt.

      • Morning Ginger, has she?
        So thats unravelled my theory it only attacks Tories!
        Something ‘dirty’ about Angela isnt there?
        Dont mean her expenses form more “she bangs like a shithouse door’ sort of way!☺

      • I bet she does Miserable. I feel terrible now, think I am getting the horn for her.
        I blame Ruffers, yes, Ruff Tuff you long-haired horny sod.

      • There certainly is MNC.

        It was once reported that she famously uttered the magic words “Robert Peston came in my back door” with a twinkle in her eye.

        That girl would go far if she hadn’t joined the wrong Party. Still, as Sir Mick once sang

        🎶 Tah-ahh-ahhm is onn mahhh side 🎵

    • The Abbotpotomus, Butler etc have kept well out of the way lately. Not seen ONE of this type of fucker on tele at all for at least 4 weeks!

      • I don’t think the C19 virus is brave enough to get anywhere near those fetid cunts!

  2. I often wondered why God would allow his faithful to get any disease.
    By all means put your faith to the test, and die happily in the knowledge you’ll be going to a better place.
    An brainwashed relative of mine constantly visited Lourdes. She’s still crippled with arthritis and had a heart attack. She’d have been better off spending the money she wasted on gin.

  3. Religion eh?

    I saw some Palestinian cleric refer to the virus as a ‘soldier of Allah’ because it was punishing the Chinese. All those people in Iran must be the wrong type of Muslim.

    Be hilarious if the Israelis are the first to develop a vaccine.

      • Interesting. But look at the ages of those who died. A very quick bit of research suggests the British Jewish population is older than the general population – 24% over 65 compared to 16%.

      • Aye,they were hardly spring-chickens were they?

        How are things in your neck of the woods?

      • Not a lockdown but most ‘non-essential’ shops and businesses closed. Last week of term next week and schools are having five non-pupil days.

        Went for a stroll on the beach earlier, not many people out and about.

      • Morning Dick, it must be an age thing. This is why so many are tumbling in Italy. It has a massive older population.

  4. I’ve got to be honest I am getting heartily sick of the OP’s constant anti-religious Noms. So sick of his ‘God issues’.

      • I don’t think the good captain has a problem with ‘god.’

        It’s his fan club down here on Earth that pisses him off.

    • Tbf to Miles there do seem to be quite a few personal attacks on people of faith. I’m not religious myself but pretty much all of the religious people I know certainly aren’t the loons noms like this paint them as. Rather, they’re generally just people who think there’s more to life than what we see. Don’t assume that the minority of morons are representative of all Christians.

      • I get “heartily sick” of all the celebricunt noms and the nonentity cunt noms that no-one’s ever heard of, but I don’t whinge about them and the nominators.

        Just ignore them and wait for a nom that takes your fancy. With 4 or 5 noms a day there should be something for everyone.

      • Sorry, but the implication that all Christians are ‘gullible cretins’ and ‘kiddie fiddlers’ is a bit more egregious than the standard boring celebricunt nom. That kind of rhetoric is on a par with the lefties calling all of us Brexit folk bigoted gammons.

      • ‘Catholics: Whether they’re gullible cretins, choirboy-diddlers, ignorant mooks, or kiddie fiddlers, they’re always here to entertain us.’
        That sounds pretty broad brush to me. Certainly no distinction between the loons and the vast majority of decent Catholics.

      • Btw, you don’t have to be a follower of a powerful religion, or any religion for that matter, to “think there’s more to life than what we see.”

        You won’t find anyone more spiritual than me.

      • I read ones that either interest me or pique my curiosity. I’ve never heard of most of the people in the noms as I avoid the news, or what passes for it nowadays, so I often don’t bother. For others we could do with a word that makes ‘cunt’ on the level of ‘kitten’ in terms of abuse.

      • I should also mention that there is potentially the libellous aspect as well. If they really wanted to a Christian could have a good go at mounting a legal challenge against being called a kiddie fiddler simply because of their faith.

      • Except he didn’t say that all Christians are ‘gullible cretins’ and ‘kiddie fiddlers’.

      • He does seem to see “cretins” and “kiddy-fiddlers” lurking behind every bush….

      • Ah yes,RTC….but I’ve never claimed to be anything but a thick Yokel,have I?

        🙂 .

      • You didn’t get to be ISAC’s foremost cunter by being a thick yokel Dick.

      • You’re too kind,RTC…but I genuinely enjoy reading everyone’s comments…even the ones with which I vehemently disagree…there is no foremost Cunter on here,there is a disparate group of people who sometimes write serious stuff,sometimes nonsense,sometimes jokes,sometimes very poor jokes (Bertie), sometimes tongue-curling filth etc.

        I accept that my views on The Gays and The Darkies can sometimes be offensive but would genuinely hope that most people realise that they are written to be so ridiculous that people can actually laugh at them and the thick,out-of-touch, old Cunt who spouts them.

        ( Apart from my views on Dark-Keys sinking in water….they are,of course, incontrovertible)

      • You’re too kind,RTC…but I genuinely enjoy reading everyone’s comments…even the ones with which I vehemently disagree…there is no foremost Cunter on here,there is a disparate group of people who sometimes write serious stuff,sometimes nonsense,sometimes jokes,sometimes very poor jokes (Bertie), sometimes tongue-curling filth etc.

        I accept that my views on The Gays and The Dark keys can sometimes be offensive but would genuinely hope that most people realise that they are written to be so ridiculous that people can actually laugh at them and the thick,out-of-touch, old Cunt who spouts them.

        ( Apart from my views on Dark-Keys sinking in water….they are,of course, incontrovertible)

    • I also dislike the references to “ovens” that have started to appear regularly. This is not a site that censors views but I find this particular reference in really bad taste and hope it vanishes. Also Miles best to avoid subjects that bring out a side in fellow ISACers that annoys you. Much as I enjoy many of the contributors I no longer read any comments with a Scottish angle as I am an SNP supporter and don’t want to get into a blazing row.

      • An anyone slagging off beards while we’re at it!
        Mines award winning an I get tearful when people say horrid things about beards.
        Enough snidey, underhand digs, about anything!
        Wete all ISAC.

      • I am currently sporting impressive beard plumage in a “viking redbeard” stylee – another couple of weeks of this I will look like Grizzly Adams!
        A broad range of views is ISAC.

  5. He is indeed a Cunt…a dangerous,stupid fool who is blinded by his own convictions, least his words have been condemned by other leaders of his faith…….” Catholic leaders in Poland are calling the text irresponsible and wrong, with one – Piotr Sikora from Catholic weekly Tygodnik Powszechny – even claiming that the archbishop’s ideas are “closer to ancient heresies than to Catholic orthodoxy”

    Cranks and Extremists who refuse to even consider any point outside of their own personal dogmatic view exist in many other walks of life…not just the church. The eco-warrioirs who would have us all back living in caves, the animal-rights fanatics who release Minx into the wild regardless of the harm to other wildlife, the gun-lobby in America who believe that everyone should have an assault-rifle,the vegans who believe that all meat is murder etc.

    Yep,the Archbishop is a Cunt and hopefully people with sense will see him for what he is…a deluded fool.Moderate people will ignore his extremist views and accept that he is nothing more than a crank and hopefully the church will remove him.

    Dogmatic zealots in any walk of life are utter Cunts.

  6. I’m surprised anyone can even spell this cunts name never mind pronounce it.
    What did their parents do, get a bunch of random letters from the alphabet and chuck in a few random Z’s?
    Polski sklep my arse.

  7. Yeah, Boris, Hancock, Charlie the Chimp and the weirdo Thunderbirds girl have all got it, “in a mild form.”
    Is anybody buying this bullshit?
    Reminds me of the Blitz when some cunt put a hammer through a couple of windows in Buck House and pretended it was the Luftwaffe.
    “Now the Royal Family can look the East End in the face.”
    The cunts weren’t even there. Hiding in Balmoral as usual.
    Load of bollocks.

    • Morning Freddie,
      Charlie, Greta, Boris, tearful Hancock, all got a ‘mild case’ dont think its linked to autism do you?😁

      • Cowards yes, but also a useful way of avoiding having to answer awkward questions in public.

      • Breaking news!!
        A cat in Belgium has been confirmed to have tested positive for coronovirus.
        Watch yourself Moggie!☺
        Although we’re talking about a weak pansified euro cat here, doubt itd effect, British cats who are superior being more tough, better genes, stronger, the apex of felines.

      • The cat caught it from her selfish bitch owner, it should have been in self-isolation and the owner should have been in a sealed, airtight box to avoid infection. In fact, all Belgians should be in airtight boxes, infected or not.

      • Right that does it!

        I’m taking this Coronavirus shit seriously from now on in.

        I have 3 moggies look out for.

      • I wonder if it’s Verminhofstadt’s cat. I’ve long suspected he is a cat-sodomiser.

      • Ffs was Hancock tearful???
        I can’t bear anymore. Just grow a pair,pour a large Glenfiddich and calm down.

      • Morning Mac, no not tearful, mean he always looks like hes going to cry, like hes had a bollocking off his dad.
        Got a ‘slapped arse’ moody look.

      • Right got you. Morning MNC .
        Sunny here hope all you cunters have similar weather .
        Onwards and upwards we go.

    • Just another excuse to wave the “Hello, I am desperately in need of some attention again! ” flag

  8. I have no issue with faith (REAL faith, as opposed to some atrocity trying to pass as a religion and faith) but there is a difference between faith and just being fucking stupid and denying the undeniable. Something that is tangible and not just a strong, yet still unproven belief.

    For someone who, I assume, understands the sanctity of life, why would this arse be encouraging people to congregate in close quarters and share one same, singular utensil (‘holy cup’ or not)? Or will the Lord give them a free pass on Covid-19 because they worship him so devoutly during a time of monumental crisis?

    Faith is fine. Go for it. But burying your head in the sand and just relying on said faith to keep you and your parishioners virus-free is playing with fire. As devout as a person may be, would you not be covering all bases and following the earthly advice to stay home?

  9. People like this cunt are a public nuisance and should be sectioned.
    Good morning.

  10. Fucking bible bashing wankers. If they’re so looking forward to their imaginary paradise they can fucking go to it and leave more room for cunts like me who ain’t so keen. This Polish fuckwit is doing us all a favour if you ask me.

  11. It’s Gods will!

    The start of the end, sending disease followed by famine, what’s the theory if you take the mark you won’t be allowed to enter the kingdom of heaven….

    Give everything up, embrace the virus and sit at Gods right hand!

    The timing is about right, anyone seen a white horse?

    We’re doomed, doomed I say 😂

    • Off topic, getting pissed off with every fucking no mark celebrity showing how to do exercise at home.

      Just fuck off and get on with like the rest of us!!

    • Its the bats i feel sorry for. 😞
      Signed Piers miserable
      Vegetarian activist.

  12. Archbishop….. archCUNT more like.
    And I thought it was just the muzzies that had got crazy ideas about this….
    Fine let em get it. It’s called darwinism…. fuck em.

    • Bertie likes to lie in of a weekend. Rarely posts before midday.

      Morning B&WC 😎

      • I have reliable information that Percy hijacked the ‘Clap for the NHS’ stunt with some outrageous slurs and coronavirus conspiracy theories and Bertie is apologizing to anyone within earshot.

      • Morning Dick, you ever seen Warrington?
        Asteroid would improve it.
        Looks like the set of ‘Blade runner’.
        Massive chemical works all chimneys belching out shite, all lit up at night,
        Like the death stars parked up.

      • Morning everyone! I’m still here! l’ve got self-isolation down to a fine art. The fuckers are not getting my pension. I’m really worried about Percy though. After reading what Miserable said about wild parakeets in the woods near him, he flew off in the direction of Stockport and I’ve not seen him since. What’s it called when your parrot ends up missing? Polygon, that’s it!

      • Wodka from Warrington, IIRC….Wladiwar. Probably Pawel and Iwan as well.

        Mass produced “beer” from a well-known factory in Northampton is shite… With my Dad, I saw inside that place about 50 years ago. Head brewer was a nip. Or maybe he was just some marketing manager. Carbonated Golden Showers in a can.

    • Morning Bwc, bit early for Bertie, likes a lie in.
      He posted the other day but not as much as normal.
      You keeping ok?
      Staying safe?
      Keep that tongue out of ladies bums!
      Dangerous times…

      • Morning all, ain’t seen him abaaaht for a while.
        That Percy is always getting him in trouble.
        I am currently working with the Government and we are.looking into the possibility of female arsehole tonguing beings cure for Coronavirus.
        Mostly men get it and die from it apparently and there may be a vaccine to be found by tonguing and then coughing.

      • A complete coincidence that all the test subjects of the clinical trial involve thumb twiddling Victoria’s Secret models. C’mon B&W, for queen and country and all of mankind.

      • I’m ready to do my duty LL. I will be remembered as a devoted British subject only too willing to put Queen and Country before pleasure.

  13. The bead-jiggling old cunt looks like the curmudgeonly actor Geoffrey Palmer.

  14. Like those fucking idiot Iranians who were feverishly licking the bars at some holy site of theirs, he seems to be desperate to put his faith to the test. At least with his silly costume, normal folk can give him a wide berth.
    The Darwin awards are going to be busy this year……

    • Anybody in a position to influence others, who encourages people to get together against the advice of the medics is a complete and utter twat. Having said that, if the gullible cunts take his advice they deserve all they get.
      Queued up outside Asda this morning to see if they had anything left that I could eat. No chicken, no tinned veg, not much of anything, I got a few cans of soup. Waiting there to be let in made me think what would happen if they try to enforce this in places like India. They’ve no idea what a queue is.

  15. “God was not available for comment”

    Ha ha, outstanding! Another award-winning nomination, Cap’n Mags.

  16. Madness, this Man promotes. Ignore medical advice – quality there Archbishop! (Hoping for a few bob in dead Catholics wills are we?).
    The danger of denial, irrespective of ideology.
    On another note, recently a rich Italian businessman was worried about his wicked life and wanted to meet the Pope to cleanse his sins. No dice, impossible, etc.
    Walking despondently through St Peter’s Square he saw – to his astonishment – the Pope himself, leaning forward and speaking quietly to a homeless beggar sat on the floor. He approaches the tramp and offers him a fortune for his filthy clothes and the next day sits in the same spot.
    Sure enough, the Pope appears again, walks over, leans forward and says
    “Hey, cunt – I thought I told you to fuck off yesterday”! 😃

    • To be fair he did have double pneumonia at the time, even so why was he touring around on that condition?
      Anyway, he’s got a cuntious name so he made the grade so to speak.

  17. The thing that gets me about these religious types and their followers is that their god only gets credit for the ‘good’ things. For example, massive earthquake kills thousands, but a child found alive buried in the rubble, oh that’s god’s miracle. Oh really? Whose idea was the earthquake then? Nasty virus killing thousands, yep that’s terrible. The cure? Oh, that’ll be god’s work again. Couldn’t just magic up a sample of the vaccine right about now, could you? Nope, thought not.

    As Easter approaches, the loons round my way are doing their annual duty of putting up a white cross in their front gardens to show they’re believers and thus special and better than the rest of us. Some of these white crosses have the slogan “He Is Risen” printed on them. You can get plain white ones too. I might get one this year and add my own slogan, “No He Isn’t” or “Thanks For The Virus”.

    • Good afternoon Imitation. Have you seen that Easter sketch where Jesus christ walks into a hotel?

      He slams a bag of nails on the counter and says ” think you can put me up for the night?”

      • Salutations of the day, Sir Bert. That’s a good one, though does mark you down as a blasphemer. Who said Jehovah? Who threw that?

    • It is my sad duty to report that she is EK – but as I significantly doubt she ever had Covid19 that would make sense.
      Or perhaps Excrement Rebellion have “offed” her for not being radical enough!
      But I am happy to report it’s only a matter of time before her Thunderbirdness and her disciples will be gathering outside the embassy of the World’s worst polluters and deliberate spreaders of deadly diseases to protest..
      Lucky Greta the sweater doesn’t eat meat – she always seems partial to the low hanging fruit.

  18. That look on his face, you just know he is thinking about a young boys puckered ring piece.!

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