Rewriting Beatles History

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Rewriting Beatles history is a load of cunt…

That “Lord of the Rings” cunt director, Peter Jackson had a preview of his upcoming Beatles film showed the other day. Naturally, it was a preview for record company high rollers and luvvie cunts, not for fans. Anyway, the basic gist of this new film is that the “Get Back/Let It Be” sessions weren’t mostly miserable and awful, as both John Lennon and George Harrison said they were. Coincidentally, both those Beatles are now dead, so they can’t dispute this revisionism.

This new film will apparently rewrite that period as everything being tickety boo, a barrel of laughs and that the band didn’t hate each other. Also – and you just know that this is coming – it will be put across now that they all liked Yoko Fucking Ono and that no one objected to her being there, that she didn’t drive a wedge between them, and that she did not give off bad vibes. Again, Harrison made this statement more than once, but he’s not here to say it now. You just know that the footage of George leaving the band and a smiling Fucking Ono sitting in his vacant seat and screeching her atonal shite as McCartney and Starr look both angry and lost will not be used.

Why don’t they just canonise Allen Klein (cunt) at the same time while they are at it?

Nominated by Norman

65 thoughts on “Rewriting Beatles History”

    • Skip the long winding road and just write the “Fab 4” out of history. Shit, over-hyped and over romanticised. A platoon of flatulent wildebeest would sound better to me.
      Fuck off.

  4. Beatles are overrated as fuck anyway, even the blandest or bleepeist of techno music outshines almost any beatles song. It was bad enough with that yesterday film now they are doing this shit doesn’t surprise me tho

    • Sorry admin but are you going to allow this blasphemy? Is Titslapper not breaking some law or other?

  6. Having a gin cocktail and maybe a glass of Chianti too for breakfast, good morning cunters have a good one

    Also avoid contact with chinese people until we figure out this corona virus bullshit If you must eat oriental food at a restaurant might I suggest Thai, or Vietnamese instead

    • Wow! Never knew paul an Ringo was so tall!
      Look at the pic they tower over the dead ones.
      Yoko was my favourite Beatle.

    • Agree Titslapper. After watching what these little yellow fuckers eat I won’t touch Chinese takeaway anymore. A lot of cats keep going missing round my manor as well.

  7. Fucking philistines. No doubt the animosity towards Yoko will be re-interpreted as racism. Speaking of the screeching oriental hag apparently some people are avoiding Chinkies on the street and public transport. I heard some libtards on the radio describe this as racism. What the fuck?? It’s self preservation you cunts. I’d like to invite these snowflakes to a big slap up meal at the Chinese embassy and see how many of the fuckers turn up. Everything is fucking racism these days.

    • Apparently the local Chinese takeaway near to me has reported a drop in turnover since this virus was announced. But they cannot understand why!

      • The Chinese are worse than anyone at translating into English. I get emails from a Chinese electronics company. I’ve never bought anything but they seem to have some decent cheap stuff.

        The heading on the last email said, and quote with no joking,
        “SORRY, Due To The Novel Coronavirus, Price Will Adjust Soon, Catch Right Now!”

        Sounds like an offer on the virus rather than other bargains!

        I read on and it said . . . . . . . .
        1 phial of Corona virus . . . . . . 40 Yuan
        Try our 3 for 2 offer . . . . . 80 Yuan

      • I’ve just seen my Chinese neighbour going into the sports centre for her first pilates lesson, dressed as Jack Sparrow….

      • We need a VAR check. Admin is it possible to do a word search through the archive to check if this joke is indeed offside?

      • I must be knackered, I had to read that three times before I mentally manifested the accent, even though it’s been done a few comments up the way.

        PS: it’s at times like this when you wonder what huge swathes of the population learnt at school, when they avoid Chinese food for fear of Coronavirus.

        You know how what will kill most people outside the epicentre? Stupid, of one flavour or another.

    • Yep, unless you find a nice Chinese girl and kiss her full on the mouth then you are a viscious heartless racist and no mistake.
      My you i’m wierd as i quite liked the Beatles. And the Rolling Stones come to that.

    • A couple of days ago, some stallholders on Aberystwyth market told a Korean stallholder that she should self-quarantine (having just returned from K). Cue kneejerk accusations of hate crime / waaaaycism &c. from head of market, Uncle Tom Wibbly et al….
      Next day, a reported case of Irn-Bruvirus…from OUTSIDE China !!
      And, I am certain that this evening’s snews had a poster in the background with the word “Korea” printed on it.
      They got it right in Aber after all.
      Somebody who returned to Brighton has been taken into quarantine; I wonder if it’ll mutate after a dirty weekend and become arse-injected…

  8. Here’s my biography of The Beatles:
    Great band, great music though diluted over the tears by spurious copycats not good enough to hand them their fags.

    George – good guitarist, went a bit hippy later on, solo stuff not bad.
    John – good musician, good lyricist, bit of a troubled cunt, solo stuff mainly decent.
    Ringo – kept the beat, sang the dross nobody else wanted, lucky bastard, Tank Engine.
    Paul – good melodies but wretched lyricist, solo stuff appalling, money-obsessed cunt they nicknamed, “Beatlehead”

    They’d have been nothing without George Martin.

    • Yep I’ll go with 95% of that Cap’n. Minor corrections are that Band On The Run is unusually good and Ringo scored a few pretty reasonable solo hits too. Imagine (album) is generally cack except for Mother.
      Macca is indeed a voraciously greedy fucker paying his musicians fuck all and he even had the nerve to begrudge the relative pauper Denny Laine a credit. What’s £200k to the billionaire? On further reflection Mull Of Kintyre is so shite they should all be hauled up at The Hague for crimes against humanity.

    • Recognition at last!

      Well spotted Dick, that’s me alright. The beard is false. Not a lot of people know that.

  10. You happy social justice warrior cunts?! now that papa john was fired for nword racism all hell will be unleashed Now the day of reckoning will be upon us and no one shall be spared! https://youtu.be/DVoklaED4z4 #coronavirus #dayofreckoning #nopizzaexperience

  11. Peter Jackson and Yoko fucking Ono should be gunned down on sight.

    The Beatles were ace and bigger than Jesus Christ to boot. Their music will live on forever.

    I’ll get my Beatle jacket.

    • I’ve got to echo that RTC. The only difference is, I mean it sincerely!
      😀

      • I did mean it sincerely Bertie!

        Except perhaps the bit about Jesus Christ, which was something John Lennon got into trouble for saying. He was actually criticising the insanity of Beatlemania, but of course the religious cunts in America chose to take it literally.

      • Afternoon Ruff one. Good. I think it’s easy to disparage something from another era but it was music for its time. I don’t tend to listen to it much these days. What might have helped if that twat Paul Mc Cuntney had called it a day and brought the era to an end. Instead, the fuckin’ cunt groans on, and on and on!

  12. I like the Beatles. Their later stuff was better.
    Yeah rewrite to make it seem the divisive Yoko was loved. Ffs can’t they just be honest?
    I read Lennon was going to divorce her before he bit the dust ,courtesy of another American wacko with a gun .
    I believe the cunt is still banged up.
    Oh yeah I always hated that fucking song Imagine. Massively overrated crap.
    I’d rather watch Thomas the tank engine.

  13. They should re-write Beatles history as if they never existed, the wankers. I was given a Beatles single once but I managed to give it away to some other cunt. I could just about stand listening to Paperback Writer and Yesterday on the radio, the rest of it was a load of weak juvenile shite. There’s a whole long list of sixties bands who were better, starting with the Nashville Teens.

    • Allan, Allan, Allan. You’re not serious? One hit wonders with Tobacco Road. The next minute you’ll be telling us the Honeycombs were the next best.
      😀

      • Jimmy Page played guitar on the Nashville Teens version – not a lot of people know that.

      • There’s a film about the Beatles never existing… It stars a box ticking parking stan lee who nicks all the Fab Four’s tunes and becomes a star… Yet there were no cries of ‘appropriation’ when it came out… Funny, eh?…

        Oh, and Ed Sheercunt is in the film too… It’s called Yesterday and it’s a woke turd of with the most toe curling stench….

      • and the Applejacks …. and Freddie & the Dreamers ….and what about Wayne Fontana & the Mindbeeennnndddderrrrrrrs (used to work at GCHQ)

  14. If you don’t get the Beatles, you just don’t get popular music. You don’t have to like them but they:
    Cleared away the fucking dross that prevailed at the time. (think today’s chart shite but without a 60 year back catalogue to dip into)
    Supported and enabled great American musicians to come through.
    Wrote their own stuff rather than using bland Tin Pan Alley crap.
    Enabled and inspired a whole generation of British musician songwriters.
    With George Martin revolutionised recording techniques.

    If you don’t get that, stick to the fucking X Factor.

    • Very astute Cuntstable 👍🏻
      Besides, as you said, they allowed others to come through. It enabled bigger and better groups to follow like Oasis. (Sniggêr)

    • Correct , you just know that some of the cunts on here having a go at the band have never heard gems such as Tomorrow Never knows and think the bands output stopped in 1963.

  15. I actually am a big Beatles fan since my teens, but I don’t know why there is a need for yet another Beatles film. There are plenty already in the archives. The term ‘cash-in’ springs to mind.

    They hype it up as a film that will dispel a lot of so-called ‘myths’ surrounding the group like the growing rifts in the band at that time and how they were just going through the motions, and that they could not abide that Japanese screaming banshee from hell hanging around like a fucking bad smell, just so it drags the punters in to watch it.

    I call bullshite. The band said it was a nightmare themselves, the people around them said it was awful too, so where is the evidence to say otherwise coming from?

    For the record, I cannot stand that hairy-muffed, opportunistic old cunt, Yoko OH-NO! I think she got her claws deep into Lennon and transfixed him with her audacity and vagina. This woman had the nerve to spend the night with Lennon when poor old Cynthia was away, then be sitting calmly having breakfast when Cynthia arrived home……and she was wearing Cynthia’s fucking dressing gown!!!!

    That woman is THE original cunt of all cunts IMO.

    • I’ve always liked the Beatles.
      And vagina come to think of it.
      Yoko must be the luckiest woman of all time.

    • ‘Japanese screaming banshee from hell
      hanging around like a fucking bad smell’

      I think there’s a song in there Nurse!

      • Beatles? Hard workers – Lenin made some jolly pop noises whilst simultaneously running the USSR with Groucho Marx – where did he get the time?

        “Twist and shout” – OK, I’ll stop f*cking tazering you!

  17. the Beatles’ finest work was done after they split up.

    McCartney – Live and Let Die

    Harrison – Dream Away (from Time Bandits)

    Ringo Starr – Thomas the Tank Engine.

    John Lennon – getting shot (not being cruel – it was relief from Yoko)

    • True lennon solos stuff is fucking god awful, just depressing boring shit like imagine and if you want a migraine listen to the wedding albums he did with yoko fucko, its muzak to slit your wrists to its avant-garde wanksauce

      The only decent stuff he did after the beatles was a few tunes from the plastic ono band and the one off gig he did with Frank Zappa thats it

  18. I grew up in Liverpool and went to a better school than Lennon & McCartney but sadly I couldn’t write songs and couldn’t play a guitar so I never got the fame I craved – still, it was dead good farting on Gerry & the Pacemakers ‘you ‘ll never walk again’ single

  19. Well, there she was just sittin’ on my face
    Singin’ doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo
    Squashin’ my nose and shredding my teeth
    Singin’ doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo

    I just lurve the beatles
    saw them in ’66
    it was a scream

    Ooops, gotta go ………….

  20. I hope George gets his due in this new film thing… How were Isn’t It A Pity, Let It Down, Wah Wah, and All Things Must Pass rejected at the Get Back sessions and substandard shite like Dig A Pony and One After 909 put on the final album?… I have recently heard a tape from the January 69 sessions: where Ringo and Paul with director, Michael Lindsay Hogg discuss the ‘Yoko Problem’…. While they don’t actually slag the sea hag off, they aren’t exactly happy either… It’s interesting until Linda McCartney puts her beak in and yadders on for fucking eons to Lindsay Hogg about the (original 1970) film and tells him how to do his job… He should have told her to fuck off…

  21. That White Album was fucking ace… Apart from the two tracks that feature Yoko Fucking Ono…. They should have got Clapton in as a fifth member after While My Guitar Gently Weeps….

    • the White Album is far too fucking long and is just John Lennon being insecure that Paul McCartney had made the Beatles greater than he ever could and needed to strip everything down so he could fit in again.

      • The “White Album” sounds a bit racist to me. It MUST be banned for not being inclusive enough. Or the name changed to “Album of Colour”

    • I thought the White Album was where quality control went out the window and egos took over. Ono fucking sitting in and advising didn’t help. Could have made a decent single album. Revolver, Abbey Road and Rubber Soul my favourites.

      • McCartney’s rescued Let it Be with the Naked version, something similar needs to be done with the White Album to perfect the Beatles legacy.

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