Peloton (2)

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A shove it up your arse cunting for Peloton, please. Smug, woke, irritating cunting advert that makes my fucking eyes bleed every time it’s on. Especially the cunt in the studio, ‘Let’s nail this, same time tomorrow’. At least we should be thankful they’re ‘cycling’ in their homes rather than on the road in front of us.

‘What’s up, Peloton’? My fucking boot up your smug ricker.

This one?

 

Nominated by DCI Gene Cunt

72 thoughts on “Peloton (2)”

  1. Assumed it was for unemployed cunts. ‘See you tomorrow’ When?
    And why? If you want to fuck about on a static bike why do you need a smug cunt urging you on?

  2. Riding a bike indoors with some cunt shouting at you over the interweb? Do these cunts never pause to think about the total 360 cuntishness they indulge in?

    • In the UK ad that over-made-up poofter with his “H-how-we-doin’-today?” boils my piss faster than even the effeminate cunts who shreik about “Jet 2” holidays. I don’t like the evangelical look of the woman dark key and the bearded motherfucker peddling away – they look on in wonder as if they are witnessing the second coming – or Emily Thornberry in the middle of the striptease that lost her the Labour leadership – anyway a sight that is beyond their comprehension.

  3. I’ll sniff her seat, and that’s about as far as my active interest goes with these posing cunts on static bike

  7. Ah Bellendoton, ‘You smashed it’…fuck off. No doubt they’ll release a Peloton dating app where you can go and smash a fellow users pussy.
    I have no need to use so bollocks as I’m 6’3 and muscular and athletic and far too good looking to be using a shitty bike in my house, nah much better I get aaaht there a show the ladies down the local Gym what they really want and desire.
    What a pile of cunt.
    Go fuck yourself.

    • 6 foot 3 and built like a brick shithouse. I bet your turning them away with a shitty knot berry B & W C. Once saw a good porno set in a gym, was it you?

      • It can get a bit embarrassing BF, I was in a shop a while bsck and caught this woman staring at me. when `i caught her eye she tried to look away as if she was’nt looking at me…I would have made a move but she was with her bloke…the dirty slaaaag.
        She obviously could’nt help it…my fault I guess.

    • How’s your big toe now Black and White?
      It’s a bastard when you drop a Peloton on it, isn’t it?
      😀

      • Big toe is better now Bertie thanks, Its surprising how an injury to your toe can reduce you to being an invalid.
        Iv’e got a black mans pinch under the toe nail though…😀

        The Mighty Reds march on eh…It’s like a dream.
        YNWA.

      • PS. I think I might have made my peace with Imitation Yank. We just avoid talking about football!

      • He’s a bitter spud Bertie, he seemed ok when I have conversed with him on here.
        Thing is not many other supporters want us to win it (even after the footballing masterclass and real teamwork we have provided this season so far).
        Anyways up the Reds.

    • All that 3d interactive porn … that’ll fuck Peletons market for fitness products and routines.

  9. That Christmas ad was reported to have wiped off 1.5 billion dollars from Peloton’s value because of its sexist nature.
    I still think they’ve got a bright future though with the spread of Corona virus.

    Their latest American ad has just come out . . . . . . .
    “Are you too scared to go to the park to exercise? Could be you’re self-isolating at home? Perhaps you’re lonely now your partner’s not returned from Japan?
    Why not buy yourself a Peloton and find yourself a new partner online?

  10. The big red fucking knob the ad concentrates on – turn the knob to increase resistance.

    More like turn the knob to becoming a fucking knob.

    Knobs.

  11. This is an ad for pushbikes which don’t go anywhere? If it keeps the pedalling cunts off the roads, it’s fine by me. Warning: Video contains rabid chattering wimminz.

  12. In the fiscal year ended June 30, Peloton reported sales grew 110% to $915 million from $435 million in fiscal 2018. Meanwhile, its 2019 net loss widened to $245.7 million, from a net loss of $47.9 million in the prior year.

    Oh…smashing it

    • You’ll have to forgive him Black&White.
      He used to work in the Hull fishing industry, counting the fish as they came ashore. Previous to that, he was a waiter aboard a Merchant Navy ship. Thankfully, he’s receiving the help he needs from the National Union of Semen.

      • I think he means something more sinister – fish heads being slang for Chinese people.
        An obvious racist!

      • You would think by now that CS would attempt a comeback using a different persona. I don’t think he’s able to because he can’t relate to the ordinary cunt in the street.

        I did say he would be back and the reasons why.

        now what does this button do?

      • Fuck… this tackle is quite extraordinarily potent… and I’ve had a load of it.

        That’s another sleeper nom de guerre fucked then.

        Hey ho… Back out into the street with the common people (and Bertie, of course!)

        Now Jarvis Cocker… he really was a cunt… the name says it all, really

        https://youtu.be/yuTMWgOduFM

      • He was back a week or two ago, can’t remember the new name but the style was unmistakeable.

      • Surely Bertie, you’re not suggesting that a simple Lord with 2 Jags cannot relate to the ordinary cunt in the street, are you? 🤔

      • Afternoon Ruff one.
        I would think the amount of eggs aimed at him would answer that one.
        😀

      • Another thought… As Admin has foolishly the cat out of the bag about CS’s multiple IP addresses, and mistakenly assumes a similarity of style… why assume this is just one person?

        A veritable drawer-ful of sock puppets, perhaps? (admittedly mostly black Pringles™ but with the odd Burlington™ and a Jaeger™ or two for good measure)

        Lets just say you come over as an arrogant knob, the Psi team profiled you as a person with daddy issues a late bedwetter and bedroom insufficiency

  15. Not seen this Peloton advert thing.
    Is it like a personal motivator type thing?
    Spinning class?
    Couldnt be doing with some mithering cunt in the gym, like to spend time burning off stress not having some daft cunt egging me on saying yank platitudes.

  16. Looking at their stopwatches. That’s because they want to break their Personal Best. When they do break their Personal Best and achieve a new Personal Best they will go to try and break that. Round and round and round…

    • Thats what they do Miles.
      What all sportsmen do i suppose, push themselves to the limit.
      Suppose they have to the professional ones, atheles etc

  17. Afternoon Cuntflap, yeah cant beat working outdoors!
    Although as im very tall an not as young as i was,
    Being on the end of shovel all day wrecks my back!
    But outdoor work definitely helps you get a good nights sleep.

  19. Just another load of wank to part those of simple mind and no agenda from their cash.

    Having some cunt shout at me while riding a flimsy plastic bike knocked up in Hong Kong does not sound like fun to me.

    Utter shite.

  22. Speaking as a Certified Spinning Instructor, Peloton can officially fuck off.

    Spinning has better bikes, better instructors and a better training programme.

    What has Peloton got? Marketing. The end. Now fuck off.

    • Hello IY, How abaaaaaht a Spursoton rival bike on the market to rival Peloton. You could put a picture of Mourinho on the screen and the faster you go the more he smiles.
      Any electricity generated can help offset the cost of your flashy stadium…ya flash cunts.

      • Greetings B&WC:
        Ha! Not sure there’s much of a market for such a contraption. Maybe one day we’ll have the football to go with the stadium. I still think it’ll all end in tears with Mourinho. Time will tell, although the crazy long injury list will probably get him out of jail for this season. Cheers – IY.

  23. I’m going to have a similar thing for lazy lard-arse cunts like me – sitting in a comfy chair in front of t’telly. “You’ve nailed it Fatcunt500″. As I reach for my cuppa and choccy digestive”.

  24. Hmmmm, Let’s see now. £2000 for the bike, plus fuck knows what for the subscription each month. Having some skeletal cunt shouting at you? Yeah, fuck off Peloton.
    What a bag of bollocks.Plus a bunch of CUNTS.

  25. Adverts like these are why in the end Subscriber TV will overhaul the advertising industry.

    We only watch a very little terrestrial commercial TV nowadays and whenever we do, we are genuinely appalled at how stuck in the past it is, how Woke it is (with lots of silly floppy cunts monging around in a mongy first world vacuous cunt fashion), or they just out and out insult ones intelligence … it seems on purpose & or to make people who are genuinely thick as shit feel better about themselves.

    Cunt off you Peleton floppy cunts and your strong not skinny shit, buy a bike and fuck off outside and meet some real people.

    Can you imagine the outcry these turds would create if they were told to stay indoors to exercise?

  26. Ha ha, I’m so out of fucking touch I’ve never seen the adverts much less heard of the cunt machine. It’s just a fucking exercise bike surely? Two fucking grand plus monthly subscription! Fucking wanky cunts! Get out fucking side on your old 5 speed drop-handle and have fucking burn around the block a few times instead. Costs virtually fuck all. Cunts!

  27. Fucking bollocks trying to post again and the cunt just disappears. Anything over a handful of words it seems.

  28. I’d just assumed this was aimed at bored housewives or yummy mummy types.

    I have no use for this shit because I have learned a fair bit about exercise and nutrition over the years and thus have the lean but ripped physique of someone like Georges St Pierre.

    Most of the fitness industry “Gurus” are full of shit.

    It always amazes me that people will spend £30 – £50 quid a session with a personal trainer, when they could buy a few books for under £10, educate themselves and apply that knowledge, but oh well.

  30. I can’t understand why cunts would want to subscribe to this shit when a gym membership costs less and you can do different classes that benefits the whole body.
    My right arm is massive because of my subscription to an online website.
    It makes me work out at least 4 times a day.
    I can now lift a truck with my right arm.

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