Harry Styles (4)

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Harry Styles is a cunt, isn’t he?

Supreme-talent, chess champion, science expert, and political genius, Harry Styles has been in the news again. Aside from being recently up for two trophies at the Brits backslapping event (Best Male Solo Artist and Best Album), Styles has revealed that he was robbed at knife point in London on Valentine’s Day. The singer and former One Direction star, 26, was threatened by a mugger during a night out in Hampstead, allegedly. I think this should be filed in the Cumberbatch/Owen Jones filing cabinet in the drawer marked “Nobody saw the actual mugging incident.”

The fluffy, monkey-faced cunt, who was not harmed in the incident, handed over cash to the robber. Coincidentally, the story coincides with a new song which is a complete coincidence. Welcome to London, jizzbag

When his last song was released, the monkey-faced goon was left red-faced after it was discovered that the grinning minister in the video was a former Brexit Party candidate who made remarks online described as “Islamophobic” (by cunts who believe in that tripe). David Ballantine, the chap in the video, branded Islam a “child rapist, death cult” and branded Islam “a theocratically fascist system of governance”. He sounds like your average IAC regular.

Our 1D singer occasionally dabbles in politics. In 2017, when asked how he would vote in the General Election, he replied, “Anybody who can stop Brexit. It’s the worst decision”. Listen Buttercup, stay out of grown-up politics.

Oh, and he won neither of his category awards at the Brits. Hmm. Don’t throw away those Simon Cowell/Louis Walsh sex-masks just yet Styles, your career is going in ‘One Direction’ only.

Hurry up Harry, you cunt.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

70 thoughts on “Harry Styles (4)”

  1. Another pointless human breathing our precious oxygen.why anybody would listen to the witterings on of this cunt I’ll never know.

    As for music,John Lennon’s sock will still be talked about when this twat has long been forgotten.
    Gobshite

      • Yeah look at the fucking state of him , is he gonna be the next cunt to go non binary since he is wearing a woman’s shirt and woman’s pearls. I wouldn’t have robbed him id have just given him an overdue smack in the face . It’s just a shame a bunch of guys didn’t gang rape him , now that would have made great news.

      • yeah because we don’t want people crying racism , they would probably get away with it anyway saying he led them on.

      • Be a good girl Harry and don’t make noise while getting it in the bum, yeah and don’t tell anyone or Shaitan will get you…

  3. A very apt use of his name for modern cockney rhyming slang: “Ooh, I need some cream for my Harry Styles!”

  5. Absolute useless, talentless cunt. Wand Erection are probably the shittest group in the history of music. None of them could carry a tune if it had two handles on it. Their songs are insipid drivel, and all of them, especially that Styles cunt and the Oirish cunt, have faces that seem to be screaming out to be punched and stamped on. And what the fuck was that dickhead wearing at the Brits? Looked like something rejected by the Mad Hatter.
    Harry, Old chum, you are of no importance and no use to anyone or anything. Please fuck off. You’ve got your money easy. Please sod off and enjoy it. Perhaps let your greasy hair down and invest your millions in some pick-me-ups, such as heroin, crystal meth, or super strength tramadol.
    Cunt.

  7. Looks like the goit has been digging in his grannies clothes draw, perfect example of a modern “man” for fecks sake we are doomed if this Nancy boy faggot nonsense is allowed to carry on, I shouldn’t tempt fate after my recent diagnosis but roll on the happy release of death.

  8. Happpened by accident and pure bad luck to catch the end part of an interview on daytime tv with a scruffy, untalented self important dodgy looking cunt who goes by the name of Louis Tomlinson.

    Having absolutely no fucking idea who he was, looked up on Wikipedia. Apparently he once twatted around (perhaps he still does but frankly don’t care) with One Direction who I have only ever heard of because my wife’s young Japanese niece used to like the aforementioned Hairy Styles.

    Read in the news (FFS, hardly newsworthy) the next day that apparently Tomlinson will boycott the channel/programme as the presenter had the bare faced audacity to ask about how he was coping folliwing the death of his mother. I think it was his mother, honestly not really in the slightest bit interested.

    Staggeringly said cunt is estimated to be worth around £46m!!

  9. That young man is going to disappear in a couple of years, when he re-emerges his head will be shaved to account for the fact that his slaphead is emergent.

    Cunt.

  10. “threatened by a mugger during a night out in Hampstead,”…… More likely that some “washing-machine repairman” wanted paying for guiding him to the rear-exit after poor Harry mistakenly wandered into “Gobblers Gulch”.

    • Didn’t Krav say the other day that he used to be a London Park Policeman?…I bet he’s got some fascinating tales about the goings-on in the Park’s seedier areas…..might have some good stories about being a Park Policeman too.

    • Good afternoon Dick.
      I see that your ‘ friends ‘ have finally managed to raise your bail. If I were you, I would be making some serious amendments to my Christmas Card list.
      Ten days indeed !
      It’s a fucking disgrace.
      Get To Fuck.

      • It was dreadful, Jack. I was forced to share a cell with Harvey Winestein…still, at least I’ve got the lead in the next Bond film apparently.

      • You really must stop sending ‘ candid ‘
        selfies to Miss. Arterton.
        It’s most unsavoury.

      • Wasn’t Arterton in a Bond film?

        Wonder what she had to do to Uncle Harvey to get the part?

      • @ Willie…..If she’s willing to do a turn to get a part in some Bond film,imagine the lather she’ll be in when I offer her a part in one of my home-movies.

        She’ll be frothing at the gash when I get my box-brownie out of it’s case I’d imagine.

      • It’s a good job it wasn’t with Harvey Price. You might have been crushed if you’d had the lower bunk bed.

      • I think I’d probably prefer to have Harvey’s arsecheeks hovering 6 inches above my face than his Mother’s pissflaps ,tbh…..more chance of surviving the encounter.

      • I must say Dick, the thought of you tied to Uncle Harveys zimmer frame, is not putting me in the mood for my fish and chips.
        I take it you’ll be holidaying in Bumholia this year.
        Most unsavoury.

      • I would imagine the entry process to Bumholia is rigorous, they probably insist on an anal probe for ‘coronavirus’ testing.

  11. As a wise musician once to Harry Styles “I’M GONNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR! A GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAAAR!

  13. Looks like a 6th former trying to grow a beard. A 6th former doing A level politics and re-sit English who thinks he knows it all. Stupid little wanker.

  15. Couldn’t name song he has done.
    Much prefer Nobby Stiles anyway.
    At least he could dance.

  16. I can believe his mugging story as , if I were a mugger, he’s exactly the sort of Nancy boy poof I would target. Rich cunts like him should have a bodyguard if you are going to go wandering around the streets of Londonstabistan. Stupid cunt.

  17. No! You can’t nominate Harry! It’s sacrilegious. He may have stinky politics but he could park his shoes under my bed anytime. I would swallow him like a strawberry vitamin.
    Sorry Captain Magnanimous. Much as I love your scribes, I cannot agree with this.

  18. Why is he wearing that black ribbon? It’s not for mourning Caroli…(trap door opens)

  19. A dropout from the CCF’s Remedial Platoon, I think. Is that a pearl necklace? And get a fucking haircut you orrible little pontificating cunt.

    Seriously, shouldn’t we be denying this sort of cunt the oxygen of publicity? Or oxygen, full stop?

      • Oh come on now Creampuff, when I was butlering at the Manor following Willie Stroker’s absence, there was the drunken incident in the games room following the news of One Directions indefinite hiatus.

      • Ooh… I’ve heard of One Direction (though never knowingly heard them), was this cunt in them?

        I said: “in them”, hur hur…

  22. This bum bobble can get fucked. I have had long farts that carried a tune better than this knob.

  23. This cunt has passed me by. Why is it the cunts I avoid are brought to me by the fucking misfits and weirdos who use this site?
    Cunts one and all.

  24. Oh yes? His account of a night out in Hampstead heath is surely questionable, was he out at 3am looking for his lost dog like Kevin Spacey claimed in Hyde park some years ago? …hmmm, I smell something fishy…bet Harry was getting up to no good , and I don’t mean the fish in the pond either….

  25. Ive been in his house.
    The house he grew up in anyway.
    Hes from Holmes Chapel, an they worship the cunt there, no one from theres ever been famous before.
    Hes a soft lad, posh,
    Led a sheltered life,
    Bit like me.
    Isnt Hampstead where the bandits are on the heath? Swapping fluids and sausage?

    • Maybe they were after his Pat Butcher jewellery Miserable? And that’s a piss poor attempt at facial hair, he looks like Dame John has just given him a dirty sanchez.

  26. He must be on his period. Somebody get him a packet of free Scotch tampax.

    Hoo-ee, what a cunt.

  27. Yeah no point shaving if the dog can lick it off,
    Had a better beard when i started school!!
    Mine comes into a room before i do LL.
    Like his penny round collars but pearls are for Margaret Rutherford or Lisa Simpson only.

  28. Cunt. Just an absolute colossal cunt. I’ve just read this mummy’s boy profile on Wikipedia. Oh and he’s worth £58 million. Bring back National Service, it might knock the wokeness out of this spoilt little cunts. Either that or hanging.

    • Nowt like putting on a nice seethrough blouse, crushed velvet pants and just being one of the lads.
      Fuckin pearls gotten tangled in my beard..twat

      • What a bell end, he looks like he has mugged one of the Golden Girls. Maybe he will pop up at London Fashion Week in some Nora Batty stockings and a gypsy headscarf.

      • You as stylish as Harry LL?
        Partial to a nice blouse?
        No?
        Cut a dash in bright red velvet flares?
        Im incredibly stylish.
        Got 2 jumpers!!
        And fight the cause for sheepskin outerwear.

      • I will let you know how my 1920’s flapper dress teamed with rigger boots look goes down Miserable. If I get any shit it will be Boris and Brexit’s fault of course for creating a hostile environment for vulnerable minorities. Maybe at this years IsAC get together , we all come as our avatars.

  30. 15 minutes of fame, conveyor belt product from the Simon Cowell, Chad Valley style production line. Listen son, shut your stupid mouth, no fucker gives a shit about you, your small demographic fan base have grown up and are embarrassed that they once thought that you were fit. In years to come you will be thought off in the same league as the Bay City Rollers or Shawaddywaddy.!

    • While Showanywanky and the Rollers were utter shite, at least they did have some rudiments of musicianship, unlike the manufactured, autotuned, lipsynced bollocks of today.

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