Vegans (2)

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I’m really pissed off with Veganuary and all the up their own arse cunts who are falling for it. Let me tell you why.

Is it perhaps because of the recent stupid court ruling Ethical Veganism carries the same rights as religion and race. So if I call someone a ‘Vegan cunt’ it counts as a hate crime? Well, no.

So is it because I despise the Facebook generation for latching onto yet another Movember or Dry January stupidity because they’re so swayed by Cunts of the Year like Great Thundercunt? No, it’s not that either, even though they deserve a cunting in their own right.

So what is it then, I hear you ask. Well, I’ll tell you…

My better half can’t eat wheat or dairy, so we use oat milk for our non wheat brekkie cereal. Trouble is, all the local supermarkets round here are sold out because the Veganuary cunts have bought it all up. So, these faddish ‘it’s cool to try being a fucking vegan’ cunts with their faux save-the-fucking-planet empty heads are preventing people with genuine medical problems buying the products they need. It might be a lifestyle choice for these cunts but it’s literally life and death for Mrs D.

So to all vegans, but especially Veganuary fad vegans, I say fuck you. You’re a bunch of cunts. And if that now constitutes a hate crime, then fuck the horse you came in on as well.

Nominated by Dioclese

98 thoughts on “Vegans (2)”

  1. While i sympathise Dio, do you mind if i skip breakfast at yours saturday?
    Dick Fiddlers invited me an he has sausages, black pudding, bacon, the works!
    If im frank your breakfast makes me weep.
    Just take the nut milk off the vegans for your good wife, theyre too weak to struggle.

  2. Best cunting this decade. Vegans and their fucking holier than thou buffonery really pisses me off. Channel 4 has some cunt saying cows will destroy the planet. Doesn’t mention the millions of acres of trees torn up for bio fuel though.

  3. Like the song says, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life – treat yourselves to scrambled eggs, grilled tomatoes, and sourdough toast.

  4. Personally vegans can live on shit toasties for all I care, just as long as they don’t keep going on and on and onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn about it with the zeal of converts to the religion of peace.
    Sanctimonious cunts.

    • Quite right Ron. They can be as smug as they fucking like, don’t get to eat bacon though do they?

      • Yeh I’m sure they’ll enjoy their vegan ‘steak bakes’ from Greggs. Let the cunts eat pretend meat, then they can be really smug about it.
        ‘Oooooh, look at me. I can eat meat but no animal died as a consequence’.

    • Really? You’re a vegan? Well, you kept that under your hat.

      Fucking self-righteous, preaching cunts.

  5. The ones that get on my tits of late are pescatarians. They come round, won’t eat what’s prepared, bang on about land meat eaters and take umbridge at being offered a tin of the dog’s 70% dolphin free tuna. I fucking hate seafood, the smell makes me retch. I don’t often piss in people’s ears about it but it’s for pets and Christians.

  6. I don’t particularly care about vegans, though I dislike the obsessive ones. Fanatical people are just dull, aren’t they, though that includes fanatical meat-eaters who constantly drone on about vegans. What’s worse than vegans talking about veganism? People complaining about vegans.

  7. I went for breakfast at a Depeche Mode themed restaurant and ordered an omelette.
    A few minutes later the manager came over and said that omelettes were off the menu today.

    “Why’s that..?” Iasked.

    He said, “I’ve had a few problems with suppliers recently and I just can’t get en oeuf”….

    • I’ve been there too JR! They served me a plate of my own personal cheeses….

      • They kept waving the fish special round me on a tray so I couldn’t reach it; when I complained he asked me to “reach out and touch plaice”

  8. Letā€™s face it, veganism IS a fucking religion. They think they are going to live forever, they think they are saving the world and they canā€™t stop themselves shoving the ā€œmessageā€ down every cuntsā€™ throats. Like all religious fanatics they smugly believe in their own superiority as they know ā€œthe truth.ā€
    Repent oh you non believers, the day of reckoning is at hand.

  9. Iā€™m doing Veganuary. Iā€™ve decided Iā€™m only eating animals that eat grass and other plants.

  10. I understand how people wouldnt want a animal to die for their food,
    But what about animals that died of old age?
    Or by accident?
    I know whenever ive forgotten to shut that farmers gate the sheep that wandered onto the M62 had no road sense whatsoever!

    • I used to drive ‘over the top’ from Rochdale to Huddersfield or Halifax and the number of sheep on, or by the side of, the road was incredible. A blip on the accelerator, instead of the brake, of my 2.5l Vauxhall Omega estate could have seen my freezer full of lamb for a year.

  11. Vegan and Vegetarians can eat what they fucking like, I will eat what I like.
    I just donā€™t get all this media crap about vegetables, I have been eating them for years and meat and fish, I will eat anything as long as it tastes ok.

    Vegans are cunts, ethical or whatever.

  12. Vegans?…Whiny sanctimonious bitches.

    I’ll resist the urge to bang on for fear of boring those Posters who find the Nom. unworthy of their superior intellect.

    • Evening Dick, just been Greggs for us, didnt have meat n potato pies so got us a vegan steak bake each an 2 lemon buns, but seeing as its veganuary i licked all the cream out of your lemon bun, dairy isnt it!
      Bon appetit!šŸ˜€

      • Evening,MNC.
        You can stick yer vegan bake up yer arse..and you can keep all thoughts of tonguing my bun to yourself…Admin. are right about you.
        šŸ™‚ .

      • Hehehe, yeah admins called me a Jimmy Saville type!
        Hurtful!
        Cried a bit, my makeup run, and my run as 2020 father Christmas is looking bleak.
        Anyway cheer myself up its card night at Fred the weathermans tonight!
        What?
        Hes innocent too!

      • I woke up yesterday feeling Miserable.
        I donā€™t know how the fuck he got into our bed but Mrs B was not best pleased.
        šŸ˜€

    • Yes Mr Fiddler once again. There’s always something. ‘fanatical meat eaters’. What does he mean by that? I don’t know anyone who is a ‘fanatical’ meat eater. I sometimes wolf my food down when I’m hungry but a better word there is devour. No, he’s up to something fishy here …’fanatical meat eaters’.
      I’ve got it-he is equating people who eat meat with people that don’t eat meat. They are both the same. So both can be fanatical. But that is wrong. The great mass of humanity are meat eaters. That is the norm. They are normal. People who don’t eat meat are not the norm, it is abnormal. You cannot be fanatically normal. Only fanatically abnormal.

      • Evening,Miles.
        Yes,I wondered just what being a “fanatical meat-eater”involved…all I could imagine was some kind of Desperate Dan style character endlessly wolfing down cow-pies.

      • Ooh, I missed a trick there… should have made it: 2 Fray Bentos steak & kidney pies, without the poof pastry! šŸ˜ƒ

        Evening Dick.

      • I actually bought 2 Fray Bentos cheese and Onion pies the other day,never had them before…an Epicurean delight I suspect.

        Evening,RTC.

      • Christ Dick – that’s sacrilege!

        I’ll never look at a Fray Bentos pie again.

      • I’ve actually been asked to write a review of them for “Fanatical Meat Munchers’ Monthly”….I was asked to give my thoughts on account of my fair-minded approach to veggies and their food.

  13. That vegan cunt whoā€™s in the news recently for taking his employer to court because he reckoned they sacked him for his veganism. Who are his employer? The league against cruel sports! They maintain that he was dismissed for gross misconduct, and nothing to do with his fussy eating. This uppity carrot killer has got the court to recognise veganism on a par with religion. The fucking bellend should have been sectioned instead, as he refuses to travel on public transport as flies may get killed by the vehicle he is travelling in. What a massive cunt.

    • We should get Fiddler to tie him naked to a tree in Kielder at the height of the midge season. The irritating CUNT would think twice about not hurting insects

      • Kielder midges could drive the most strident of “kill no creature” Buddhists to agreeing to pilot an industrial-strength DDT spraying B-52 bomber over the whole fucking area.

        The Devil’s creatures.

      • I swear that Scottish midges, west coast, are feckin atrocious. Probably related to Salmon and Turdgun, and quite possibly that obnoxious, pompous lardarse Blackhead.

  14. Totally agree with Dio’s post. My wife has gluten intolerance and has to have a non gluten diet. This is a medical condition not some fucking life choice these vegan cunts choose. However when you go out to a restuarant or even a snack at a coffee bar, there’s plenty of choice for the vegan cunts, fuck all of any gluten free choice unless you want a stick of celery or a fucking carrot. Vegan cunts, the pompous self centred new wave of cunts infesting society.

  15. Through choice I have been nearly a lifelong veggie, my position has always been that what other people eat is none of my fucking business.

    And so it should be with vegans. A tiny minority trying to lecture and impose their beliefs the majority will only piss off the majority.

    Totally fed up over the last three plus years being told what to do and think by a minority group of gobby fuckwits.

    Predictably pathetic to see the big fast food companies (such as Burger King, McDonalds and Subway) now jumping on the bandwagon and introducing their new vegan range, usually cooked on the same grill as the meat items. Cunts.

      • Vegans wear leather boots!
        Saw it on star Trek!
        Oh thats vulcans.
        Nevermind.

      • Imagine being vegan and having a leather fetish?
        Be unlucky that, or a vegan with crabs!
        What does he do?
        Nits, fleas, tapeworm, all are life forms so what do you do?
        Cant eat meat, but no diary or owt, so no chocolate, no cheese, nowt.
        God thats depressing,

  17. Modern vegans seem to be mostly trendoid hipsters these days. I have Coeliac disease so also can’t eat wheat but have to stand next to hemp-smelling, remain-voting, millennial hipster, vegan douchbags when I do my shopping because for some reason gluten-free and vegan foods are lumped in with each other…………. because of fucking hipsters.

  18. I’m glad to see Twatter is in uproar at there being no black actors nominated for the Golden Globes…what a disgraceful and racist organisation…they didn’t even nominate me for my role in ‘Black and White cunt tongues Penelope’s the Vegans bumhole’.
    The Golden Globes can go fuck themselves.

    • Iā€™ll give a fuck when there are honkies nominated at the MOBOS or the BET awards. Actually, I wouldnā€™t give a fuck then.

      • Outrageous discrimination, BAME and female actors with no talent winning fuck all!

        Hmm – Women only car racing series.
        MOBO (Music Of Black Origin)
        Women only shortlists for Parliamentary candidates
        Question Time just for under 30’s
        etc

        Good to see a sense of equality and balance there

    • The Mrs and I were discussing this last night.

      The BBC was moaning on about there being no women directors up for nomination at the Baftas. Started with us debating which woman director could stand shoulder to shoulder with Martin Scorsese or Quentin Tarantino, the bar then lowered somewhat when we couldnt name a single female director.

      Do something worth getting an award, and you might fucking get one.

  20. Just to add the impartial cunts at the BBC give these twats so much free fucking air time and exposure itā€™s hard to take.

    Got a vegan book out come into the studio and tell us about

    Letā€™s now have a phone in about it.

    Incredibly every caller has something to say about how vegans are so righteous and saving the planet and all the things we think are bad about Veganism such as cutting down forests to plant some bean shit stuff is actually not that bad at all and everyone is wrong about that viewpoint

    Unbiased my cuntin arse.

    Note: which musician has cancelled the most concerts due to illness

    Itā€™s that Vegan Morrisey

    Take your vegan protest down to an Al-Halal butchers in Bradford and I will listen to what you have to say but no you just go and stand outside some butchers in the fucking Cotswolds

    • Remember the butchers in ‘Max and Paddy’, ‘You Can Call Me Halal’?
      Quality!!

  21. Be what you want, just don’t bother me with it.

    I could be vegetarian at least but not a strict one because I love the taste and smell of bacon.

    • Hey Spoons, in Aldi they have cooked bacon strips, think theyre for soups or something?
      But i layer them on a cheese sandwich with onion and branston pickle.
      Lovely in a cheese toastie too!
      Going to put a load of them in a homemade pea soup soon.
      Food of the gods!!

  22. I understand that human shit is vegan after it has passed through the colon. This is fact. So shitting in their mouth is vegan pie or some such. This is true.

  23. I donā€™t know about a vegan diet but iā€™m on the Andy Warhol diet…..
    Famished for 15 minutes.

      • Don’t eat black jelly babies – they taste of chiggun and tend to stab you with their little jelly baby knives!

  25. My brother is a vegan and its annoying going to a restaurants with him sometimes cause he’s double, triple checking with the waitress making sure every single thing he orders has no dairy or eggs in it. I like the odd vegan meal some are really tasty but i wouldn’t go out of my way to become a militant vegan walking on eggshells to avoid certain foods like him

    I tried to talk some sense into him on animal protein aka meat but its basically no use hes convinced its evil and abstaining from it is worth it. I can’t knock his record with meat abstinence pretty fucking impressive actually, 6 almost 7 years without meat! Fruits, plants, legumes and veggies only

    • Its each to their own, and you do what you think is right and what makes you happy in life.
      Even though my diet has a lot of meat i understand your brother viewpoint .
      Be honest with you though im a right cunt and would of been cross contaminating his food for years for my own amusement.

    • I did a cooking course which focused on eating plants, and it was really impressive I’d love to be able to make tasty meals with nothing but fruits and veg on the plate so fair play. But healthwise a balanced diet contains meat though perhaps more as a garnish than being the main part.

  27. There ainā€™t too many vegans in Africa. Veganism is an ideological disease of the wealthy. When your arse is hanging out of your trousers and you donā€™t know where your next meal is coming from you ainā€™t too fussy about what you are eating.
    Try saying that on ā€œChildren in Needā€ and watch the BBC libtards have a hissy fit.

    • I think that says more about Africans and their total lack of sophistication, they’ll happily eat people if there’s no pigs about. In India for example poor people commonly have vegetarian diets.

  28. Bring back cannibalism. That would remove a lot of greenhouse gas producing mammals
    .
    Remember – Soylent Green is made out of people.
    Tomorrow is Soylent Green day…

    • Charlton Heston and Edward G Robinson – quality film! I remember watching Soylent Green when I was a very small kid, dystopian and genuinely scary – but a bit of scoffing people burgers would definitely address the rough sleepers crisis! (Especially the plump tasty rough sleepers!)

    • Soylent Green day! That’d be a yearly tradition to get up the noses of the globalists.

  29. All this talk of vegan is giving me a remedy craving for some fat Cumberland sausages, smoked bacon, beans, mushrooms, scrambled egg, black pudding and a grilled tomato. With some thick, hot buttered toast and a fuck off great mug of builder’s tea.

    I hear you drooling!

  30. All this talk of vegan is giving me a remedy craving for some fat Comberland sausages, smoked bacon, beans, mushrooms, scrambled egg, black pudding and a grilled tomato. With some thick, hot buttered toast and a fuck off great mug of builder’s tea.

    I hear you drooling!

    • I heard you the first time Paul, though I am drooling. Mrs Frenulum has me on the 5/2 diet as I gained a few pounds over Christmas and is trying to enforce a dry January on me too. I’m fine with that, as I’ve resurrected my trusty hip flask for surreptitious nips of a nice malt (Auchentoshan American Oak at the moment). I’m a bit worried that using a hip flask may have fellow cunters assuming I’m a hipster. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m an old cunt who remembers hipsters as trousers, back in the seventies.

      • Keep it up smeggy. Never ceases to amaze me how much better one feels losing a kilo or two.

      • Nip to chemist’s, and get a 500ml brown medicine bottle…
        It works a treat for me, no-one knows it’s got booze in…

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