Politically Correct James Bond

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Non-alcoholic James Bond and ‘woke’ 007!

Yes, folks. The world has now officially gone PC mad.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi…en-advert.html

In a new advert, James Bond pushes away his ‘Vodka Martini’ and asks for a ’00’ non-alcoholic lager, as ‘he’s working’. This comes hot on the heels of the news that the latest Bond pic will be the most ‘woke’ and PC movie yet – Jesus.

In the ‘woke’ Bond movie, the phrase ‘Bond girl’ was outlawed from the film set. The women in this film are all ‘strong, brave and fiercely independent’. They are not ‘helpless girls’ who jump into bed with Bond (Bond tries his usual seduction techniques, but they fail miserably. ‘It’s very funny’, according to wank insiders) Craig is called out of retirement to ‘assist’ the new (black) woman 007, a character who has issues with her weight and questions what’s going on with her boyfriend – JESUS! ‘Bond’ also drives a quarter of a million pound ‘Electric’ car (hardly gonna convert the family car buyer at £260k)

If you don’t want to remain faithful to Ian Fleming’s books, then just kill of Bond and let it end. This snowflake ‘woke’ trend for re-writing classic characters and stories has to end. Last year the BBC pissed all over classic ‘War of the worlds’, ‘A Christmas Carol’ and ‘Dracula’.

Please FUCKING STOP THIS. You want to reflect today’s snowflake fucked-up world, then invent your own new original characters and stories. Stop stealing the past and changing it. Leave everything from history and my childhood alone, YOU MASSIVE FUCKING BASTARDS!

Nominated by Lord of the Rings

127 thoughts on “Politically Correct James Bond”

  1. That just got me thinking about old Ollie Reed. What a fucking boy! Can you imagine what he’d make of all this woke bollocks and indeed, what the libtards would make of him. He’d eat the cunts for breakfast.

    • Ollie Reed!
      Mans man, a character with character, a card, and all round good egg!
      Sort of bloke youd like to have a drink with, cant say that about Hugh Grant can you?
      His like are gone now, Hellraisers😢

      • Ollie’s last film role was in Gladiator, which would have had more scenes in with him had he not turned his toes up before the film was finished.
        His retired gladiator character was originally supposed to tool up and wipe out half the Praetorian Guard before being killed.
        Would love to have seen that…

      • Ollie Reed was a legend & a very under-rated actor.
        He died during the making of Gladiator, off set in Malta.
        He hadn’t had a drink for months, but was pressured into a drinking contest buy a bunch of British sailors on shore leave.
        According to witnesses ; “He drank eight pints of German lager, a dozen shots of rum, half a bottle of whiskey and a few shots of Hennessy cognac in a drinking match against a group of sailors on shore leave from the H.M.S. Cumberland. His bar bill totaled almost £450. After beating five much younger Royal Navy sailors at arm-wrestling, Reed suddenly collapsed, dying in an ambulance.”
        Ollie was 61 years old.

  2. So why not a black trans lesbian disabled James Bond, a socialist, pacifist vegan Bond.

    There’s probably a couple of million woke cunts and 7.4 million real people on the planet. The huge majority don’t define their relationships on identity but on who they are and who the person they are interacting with is, that’s who not what?

    We can enjoy a fictional character without believing that we have to act the same. Who remembers Kyle Reese? No one, we remember the terminator. Not because we wanted to become cold and clinical killing machines, because for the duration of the film we were transported into a different reality leaving our lives and it’s associated problems behind.

    James Bond, for fans of the franchise is the same escapism, any cunt who’s watched a bond film knows it’s a fictional world with no relation to ours.

    A 007 quality cunting for the dangerous woke cunts who won’t allow anything that displays any deviation from their agenda.

    The intolerant tolerant cunts

  5. We’ll see what happens with this after it is released, as to how many punters drop Bond like a ton of steaming hot shit due to its ludicrous ‘woke-ness’.

    I am a HUGE fan of the Bond movies. I grew up watching them, loving the exotic locations, the gadgets, the glamorous women, the corny lines…the usual things that made the Bond films popular.

    I LIKE the fact that Bond is what I would call a real man. A man’s man. I am not one of these pathetic women who see this as outdated and inappropriate as this is exactly how Bond was WRITTEN by Ian Fleming, but yet again we are faced with a bunch of offended, screaming banshees who stamp their feet and demand that something classic is rewritten to fit ‘the times’ and their agenda. It is fucking beyond a joke now when this stuff is even infiltrating the Bond franchise.

    The fact that Phoebe Waller-Bridge has been at the script for this new Bond puts me off straight away. I have never seen fucking ‘Fleabag’ and nor do I want to. I have read enough about this cunt to know what her game is and that she is a feminist and that is enough for me to say that I am certainly not filled with hope about this film now.

    A black, female 007. Bang! There is the wokeness before anyone has even stepped foot inside the fucking cinema. Oh, just fucking fuck off, you sheeple cunts.

    I sincerely hope that Barbara Broccoli/EON see a distinct drop in earnings for this film as the only ‘woke’ that is needed here is for her to ‘wake up’ that Bond does not need to be fucking well fucked around with.

    If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, so stop pandering to “The name is Flakes……Snow Flakes.”

      • Best Bonds:
        1) Daniel Craig
        2) Tim Dalton
        3) Roger Moore
        4) Sean Connery
        5) Brosnan
        6) The Australian one

        Brosnan was so feeble he pouted when he shot a gun and number 6 had to have half of his lines over-dubbed by somebody who could speak properly. Sean Connery is a cunt.

      • Craig is not Bond. Never has been. Ugly emasculated soy boy both in the films and in real life.
        Responsible for bringing that foul Waller-Whatsit creature on board and an admirer of Bernie Sanders to boot.
        The “Bestest Bond Evah” to those who probably prefer those repetetive Bourne films anyway…

  7. The fact that Phoebe Waller Fucking Complete Bastard Cunt has got her filthy luvviecunt hands on Bond just makes me want to throw up….

    • I’m right by the way. Don’t get me wrong on that one. Fucking love you though. Mest mates you cunts….

  9. Can just image the Russkies, North Koreans and Chink spy agencies shitting themselves at some mincing woofter with a licence to dust and tidy up the front room.

  11. Q: PAY ATTENTION, 007!!
    (007’s lip starts to quiver and he throws himself to the floor, screaming. Q reaches down to put a hand on his shoulder)
    007: ‘URGH! DON’T TOUCH ME, YOU BENDER!’
    (The door opens and M enters the room, a look of shock and horror on his face)
    M: ‘I say, 007! What on Earth is going on here!’
    007: (whimpering and hiding behind a chair) Q shouted at me, and then tried to touch my bottom!’
    M: ‘Is this true? You know Mr Bond has ADHD! He’s got a note from his Mum, and everything! What were you thinking, blood?’
    Q: ‘Well I….!’
    007: ‘And he said you were a big Gaylord and all this and that!! It’s true, and I’m not even lying!’
    M: ‘Ok 007, that will do! Isn’t it!
    007: ‘isn’t it, though! Are you telling me to shut up, and all this! That’s like, actually abuse, and I could sue you for that! I’ve got rights!’

  12. 007 will have to start shagging all those “wimmin” up the Gary Glitter- coz they all used to be blokes. Not a single dripping vag between them.
    Fucking PC woke dogshit, I fucking hate it.

  13. We are guaranteed that the theme tune to this crappy fuckflake fest will be shite as well… No doubt some tuneless up themself cunt like Ed Sheercunt, Titless Swift, Billie ‘cunt’ Eilish, Ariana Jailbait, Lana Del Cunt, Lewis Cuntpaldi, The shitty 1975, or fucking Stormzy will be doing it…. It’ll be one of these cunts, no danger…

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