Film Clichés

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You’re sitting comfortably, enjoying a film. Perhaps it’s a thriller, and the tension is building. The hero and heroine are on the run through the forest, with the bad guys in hot pursuit. Then it happens. The heroine trips and slides, screaming ‘arrrgh, my ankle!’. Or perhaps they make it to a track, where a conveniently placed car is conveniently open, a key conveniently located behind the sun visor. Our hero desperately tries to start the engine. Cough goes the engine, whirr, whirr, whirr… He pounds the steering wheel, yelling ‘come on! come on!’. You groan ‘oh for fuck’s sake’, and reach for your beer.

Perhaps it’s a western. The piano in the saloon tinkles merrily, and there’s a buzz of noise. The doors swing open, and in swaggers a lean, mean hombre, Lee Van Cleef style. The noise dies and the piano jangles uncertainly to a halt. ‘Whisky’ growls the black hat. Whether he’s given a glass or a bottle, he reaches into his vest pocket and produces a single coin, which he declines to hand to the barkeep; instead he throws it down on the bar. You groan ‘oh for fuck’s sake’, and reach for your beer.

Perhaps it’s a cop drama. Maverick cop is chasing the killer down an alley. The bad lot promptly climbs up the nearest metal fire escape, discharging twenty rounds from a revolver in the process, in order to allow himself to be cornered on the roof of the building. He falls off the roof in the ensuing fight and crashes to his death on the sidewalk, as sirens wail in the distance. You groan ‘oh for fuck’s sake’, and reach for your beer.

Now clichéd scenarios are bad enough, but clichéd dialogue is even worse. Maverick cop; ‘just gimme fordy eight hours, black lootenant!’. Black lootenant; ‘ya got twenny four, now ged outta my office!’. Here are a few other of my ‘favourite’ bits of worn out dialogue;

– None of this makes any sense!
– Get outta town by sundown (could you be more specific? Say by half seven?)
– What is it you want from me?
– Try to get some sleep now
– Everything’s gonna be just fine! (to dying character)
– You set me up! You set me UP!
– We’re done here (spoken exclusively by sharp suited female lawyer)
– I don’t have time for this!

Welcome to the world of the film cliché. Yes folks, you’ve seen and heard these tired, lazy contrivances on many occasions. They’ve done their best to ruin many an otherwise decent film, and the next time you see a fight on a train, you can bet your boots that the protagonists will end up on the roof, leaping from carriage to carriage. They’re the default option for the unimaginative scriptwriter and the plodding director, and they are indeed a cunt. Let’s get outta here.

*Addendum to bad guys in California*
Never, under any circumstances, lock up The A Team in a cluttered garage, on the understanding that you’ll ‘deal with them later’.

Nominated by Ron Knee

171 thoughts on “Film Clichés”

  1. There wasn’t a single episode of A-Team where I saw them locked up in a building/room that had nothing in it. Americans are messy cunts.

    • There’s an interesting interview with Dirk “Faceman” Benedict on YouTube where he describes how the American Libtards hated the show at the time, because of the guns, the girls, the cars and cigars etc, and also due to the fact that all four cast members were Republican supporters.
      Anything that boils Libtard piss deserves to be remembered fondly…

  2. A very nice and novel cunting, Ron

    It always pisses me off when I watch a horror/slasher film usually containing dumb-fuck teenagers stuck in a cabin or haunting house. They hear some weird shit and the lights dim. But rather than stick together with a plan of escape some cunt says “Let’s split up and find out what’s going on!”

    10 minutes later they’re all toast!

    Oh and why is when you see a couple having sex in bed of an evening, the woman wakes up in the morning to answer the phone on the bedside table, but decides to keep the bedsheets covering her tits!

    And when you see someone on the landline phone to someone and the person on the end of the phone hangs up unexpectedly the other cunt stares at the phone even though he knows the line is dead. What the fuck is that all about?

    • ‘I told you never to ring me on this number!’.

      I could’ve done an entire thesis on film clichés, Techo. That ‘stare’ thing isn’t limited to phones. In the final shootout, the baddie always runs out ammo, *click click!*. Then they glare at the automatic for a couple of seconds before hurling it to the floor.
      Fucking wasteful litter louts.

      • Ah yes, the good old state at the empty trope!

        Another one is where someone walks into a bar and asks for a beer. They receive a beer.

        But what I don’t understand is why they’re not a bit more specific? I mean there’s loads of different beers so how does the bloke behind the bar know what beer this cunt wants?

        And you rarely see cunts take a piss or shit, even when they’re all tied up and/or locked in a cell. I don’t want to actually SEE them take a dump, but a bit of realism would be nice.

        Finally phone books. Some cunt is looking for a name. So he opens the book and flicks a few pages, and all of a sudden he finds it. Whereas in reality I usually spend about half an hour going through all the pages, not least because some pages are stuck together and I have to keep licking my finger.

        And finally finally, there’s a bomb about to go off. We see the clock counting down….. and then the hero arrives and manages to disarm the complicating wiring with 2 seconds left on the clock! Cunt.

      • Cunt talking to a dead phone

        “Hello?”
        “Hello?”
        “Hello?”
        “Hello?”

        and then it finally dawns on him – ah his hung up!

      • And why do they never, ever finish their beer (or any alcoholic drink come to that)? They always just take a sip out of it, throw some money down (how the fuck do they know how much it costs) then fuck off. I can’t relate to that at all, wasteful cunts. But that’s probably because I’m a pisshead.

      • Or at each other; Police Squad/Naked Gun did an ace spoof of just that years ago

        I like the “what you going to do Ban me! see if I care”

      • Stanley Kubrick did not direct any of them, as far as I am aware..
        “OK” send the teenage big tit dumb girl to the cellar, make sure that torch doesn’t fail then when the killer appears, spend five minutes screaming – and whatever you do don’t run away unless you are dressed in a T shirt and knickers and “trip up trainers”
        Cue more screaming as they get up – FFS, you live in America – buy a soda and get a free AK!
        That will sort the buggers!

  3. It’s impossible to watch modern films as it’s a box-ticking exercise. Dispense with plot, characters, brevity, meaning, cinematography, crowbar in the ethnics, and ensure you haven’t upset anybody.

    Token strong female ✔
    Token Asian ✔
    Token Darkîe ✔
    Token stupid/racist Whitey ✔
    Token homò ✔

    The only Yank films (British films are all shit) I’ve seen in the past few years that didn’t kowtow to this dogshit have been Joker and recently, The Irishman.

    • Afternnon Cap’n.
      Yep all the SJW virtue signalling shit has become a huge cliché in its own right. Add to that the sheer lack of imagination and franchise obsession, particularly from Hollywood, and most English language films are tedious moralising crap these days.
      There’s a far greater richness and quality to be found in foreign language films, particularly from Europe and Latin America.

      • I hate cunts Ron that refuse to watch foreign films on the basis that “I want to watch a film, not read a book!” At home I always turn subtitles on for everything as you get all the dialogue then (even it is the usual Hollywood crap)

      • Agreed Cuntan. I find it easier to watch English language films with the dialogue. Inevitably, part. with American characters’ accents and use of colloquialisms, you can miss important parts of the dialogue. Ironically, dialogue of the ‘put out an APB on the perp’ has of itself become such a cliché that you can learn as you go along!

      • Thought that Scorsese’s ‘The Departed’ was okay, but not a patch on the original Korean film ‘Infernal Affairs’. Also loved the Thai film ‘Bangkok Dangerous’; the American remake with Nicholas Cage was excrable.
        A superb Argentinian thriller is ‘The Secret in their Eyes’. Again, avoid the American remake like the plague.

      • Afternoon

        I like Korean and Japanese films despite having to read the subtitles. Well-directed, well-acted, beautifully-shot, good/weird stories, and superbly devoid of the ‘best mate who’s a nêgro’-type nonsense.

      • A great Korean film, possibly the best war film ever made and a contender for one of the best movies full stop in my opinion. It’s called “Brotherhood” or “Taegukgi: The Brotherhood of War” by its Korean title.

        Check it out, you shouldn’t regret it.

        https://youtu.be/RgVbtTpH4jU

        very good

      • I’m sure there will be a Hollywood remake on the cards FL, wherein as usual they will completely miss the point and tar the original (see “Oldboy” and countless others)

      • I would fear the same, CC. That would be an absolute cunt to hear if they did decide to. It really is such a great film as it is, you could never capture that essence twice.
        Although in all fairness, I think it might be a bit too much of a leap for today’s woke cinematographers to touch the whole North/South Korea thing, so we may yet be safe.

        A few other’s that have come to mind since last writing though too though, ones like:
        “I Saw the Devil”
        “Gunjiam”
        “The Host”

        All Korean as far as I can recall and all well worth watching for anyone that didn’t already too. They definitely have a knack for good film making and put our counterparts to shame in a lot of cases.

      • I saw the devil is great, will look the others up (there was a Korean film called the host about 10 years or so ago about a big lizard monster thing, think this ones different though?)

      • Cheers for the recommendations. I thought The Host was a bit silly but I love Bae Doona and I’d shoot a magnanimous load into her within seconds. I’d watch her reading a phone book.

        Memories Of Murder is ace and this year there have been Extreme Job and the absolutely insane Parasite.

        Shoplifting, from Japan, was also good.

      • Bae Doona “…She became known outside Korea for her role as an inflatable sex doll-come-to-life in Hirokazu Koreeda’s Air Doll…” Never noticed that one on net flix.

      • I prefer watching foreign language films with subtitles, as dubbing is usually terrible, as they get Cartoon voice actors, as they can do more voices, but aren’t convincing and sound hokey. The only film dub I have seen so far that sounded professional was girl with the dragon tattoo.

      • Did manage to see the Korean version of ‘Marley & Me.’
        Disappointing…..just a half hour cooking show….

      • Gangnam Style, JR!

        I did see its sequel, “Lassie of the Summer Wine” featuring a Jilly Goolden look-a-like from Busan, and a blacked-up Lily Savage getting badly pissed up on (s)Hite beer and eating grilled Dachshund.

        No clichés there, to be sure.

  4. Thanks, Cuntflap.
    Ah yes, the ‘explaining’ thing!
    ‘There’s just one thing I don’t understand…’

  5. My favourite is from nearly every thriller/murder film:

    “Is he?…………”

    “Yes, I’m afraid he is”

    If I was a complete wanker as well as a total cunt, I would describe it as “iconic”

  6. Good cunting. There are so many clichés in modern cinema it’s as though all the directors are copying each other. People having sex with their clothes on. People making slurping noises when they’re kissing, it’s totally unnecessary. Scenes where someone tickles someone else when they’re on the phone, trying to put them off their conversation. Repeated close-ups of somebody’s bare feet, for no apparent reason. And my own pet hate, puking scenes. I buy a fair amount of DVDs and I can hardly remember watching a film which doesn’t show someone throwing up in a toilet, or in the street, or on the floor. I’m sick of seeing people being sick.
    No more vomit please! Are you listening, directors?

    • Speaking of ‘washroom’ scenes, there are plenty where an important bit of dialogue takes place when two or three male characters are standing taking a slash, but there’s very rarely any ‘cubicle to cubicle’ dialogue in the ladies’ lav. I wonder why?
      And while we’re in the ‘washroom’, please writers and directors; no more scenes where a cop drags himself in, splashes a single handful of cold water on his face, then stares at his haggard expression in the mirror. He’s a cop. We KNOW that he’s a divorced alco who never sees his kids. We KNOW that he’s a maverick with a bad attitude towards authority and that the lootenant’s on his neck for a result. We KNOW this, film-makers, because you’ve told us so a million times already.

    • Quentin Tarantino always put bare feet in somewhere. And the puking was spoofed to good effect in Team America!

  7. Cunts driving cars.

    They get in the car, and start off. They never indicate, never ever change gear, never check their rear view mirror, and in some instances the driver spends far too much time looking at the other cunt in the passenger seat rather than on the road.

    • I always like the token little constant wobble from side to side of the steering wheel, cos that’s how you drive apparently (even better if there’s a naff green screened background rolling past the window)

      • Evening Spoons. Been thinking about your accident.
        Why don’t you make a claim against the driver’s insurance? Yours is a genuine case unlike the dregs who claim compensayshun these days.
        Where there’s blame, there’s a claim!

        Ring 🎶 Gladstone Brookes 🎶

      • Evening, Bertie and Percy. How do?

        Nah I wouldn’t do that. However, would it be possible to ask your Percy to fly over that fella and drop a present on his head? One that smells of birdseed and poo.

      • Greetings Spoons. Percy is trained in guerilla warfare. He can drop anything from a height that you request.

      • Just the Percy poo on that fellas head will do please Bertie. If I get any more ideas, I’ll be sure to let you know. 🙂

      • Q. What starts with SH, ends in IT, and is found on the floor of a parrot’s cage?

        A. Shell grit.

  8. The baddie threatening the cop’s family etc – it gets personal.
    And the fucking ‘race against time’. Fucking yawn.
    Both these clichés get me throwing books out the window as well.

    • “But we have to find and defuse the bomb before people get killed”
      Well f*ckoff to the mosque and get it then!

  9. The harassed detective/cop. always banging on about “I never see my kids! I miss my wife. I will do anything for her!” But then goes back to his ball-aching murder case for the next 3 days and nights not even bothering to give the bint a phone call.

    And on the flip side, you get the lonely wife constantly ringing her hubby/detective wondering what the hell he’s doing so late at night, not realising that he is actually a fucking DETECTIVE – the clue is in the fucking name you dopey cow!

    • Yeh then they throw in a bit of ‘human interest’ drama to ratchet up the melodrama. The kid has an asthma attack and gets rushed to hospital. The harassed cop races down to the scene.

      Scene; at the sleeping child’s bedside.

      Det. ‘How is she? She gonna be okay?’
      Doc. ‘She’s over the worst. She needs to rest’. (walks off)
      Det. ‘I never knew it was this bad’
      Wife (bitter and angry). ‘Why would ya? Ya never there!’

  10. Any cunt with an apartment in Paris must always have a view of the Eiffel Tower….
    Any cunt with a bag of shopping must always have a French baguette sticking out the top….

    • Any cunt ‘let go’ from his job walks out the office with a cardboard box with a framed picture of his family on top…

      • ‘Cos they aint eating anytime soon, and they like to remember them when they were chubby and privately educated!

    • Or London, queue pics of the usual landmarks, not least Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament

      Seems the rest of the world thinks England is London. No other place exists (which given the recent election they may have a point)

  11. Give it another 500 years. Film will evolve into a sort of multidimensional version of Japanese Noh theatre; produced according to long-cherished ritual, and consisting entirely of approved cliches. ISAC then will be complaining of the smallest departure from tradition.
    Dear Sir,
    In the recent revival of the classic Star Wars, Luke Skywalker asked, “Is he…?” and R2D2 replied, “No, he’ll be better in a minute.”
    What have we come to? Our culture lies in ruins.
    Yours faithfully,
    Major-gen (retd) DS Gusted
    Tunbridge Wells

  12. Not a film, but as Mrs. Boggs is addicted to soap opera, there are a few overused terms in their episode discussions.

    such as:

    “Following the events of last week [not described] life will never be the same again”

    or “So-and-so receives an unexpected visitor”

    At least once a week in one of the serials life will never be the same again when somebody receives an unexpected visitor, and they all like to think they are the only ones who thought of it.

  13. Cunts who walk into a coffee shop order a coffee, takes two sips and then fucks off!

    or a couple go to a restaurant order a shitload of food, take two nibbles and then fuck off!

    • Those ‘shit load of dialogue while at the same time trying to pretend they’re eating’ restaurant scenes are a postive embarrassment Techo. They can never ever get it right,and it looks horribly contrived.

      • I’ve just seen the official Tottenham Hotspur 2020 calendar.
        Very explicit, a cunt on every page….

  14. Fuck the film clichés, I’ve just walked into a pub in crawley…. Its 2pm and I know its the last Friday /payday before Christmas but fuck me half the pub are dribbling wrecks!!!!!

  15. At least the new star wars film is out . I can’t wait to rip the piss out of its galactic cuntitude. I wish they could have found someone less harsh on the eyes for that Kylo Ren cunt though,he’s got a face like a fucking yak. Looking at his poorly proportioned visage makes me feel quite ill.

    • I’d never heard of this cunt before, so after reading your post I checked him out.
      Fuck me what a mess! Your “poorly proportioned visage” comment is fucking spot on, excellent !!

    • Sounds a bit ‘toxic femininity’ to me. Mind you, it’ll all be some white bloke’s fault. He’ll be exploiting them somehow.

  17. and when someone on the phone (usually the wife) tells hubby to “Switch on the TV, You’ve gotta see this!”

    So he switches on the TV and miraculously he’s on the right channel just about to catch the news headline that’s she on about, even though she doesn’t actually say what channel or even what the item is; or that she knows its about to start.

    Or when some spy has taped a conversation with some bad guy and he plays it back to his boss. The boss says “play that bit back again” So he rewinds it for a second or two and clicks play, and it always plays the exact piece from the beginning.

    • Oh and the one where they are all hunched round a small monitor watching grainy security camera footage; one guy says “stop! Enhance there” and lo and behold by some miracle the camera can suddenly zoom in with enough clarity to see the perp’s nasal hairs. Magic pixels apparently

      • Brilliant. Fucking hell you guys are hot on this nom!
        Another of my favourites from the cop genre (there’s loads) is the confrontation with the psycho serial killer and his clinging mom at their house’

        Cop. ‘We need to ask ya some questions about the missing girl. Wherewere ya Toosday night?’
        Perp. ‘I dunno what ya talkin’ about. I ain’t done nothin’!’
        Mother (twitching passive/aggressively). ‘Why can’t you people just leave us alone? My son would never hurt anybody!’
        Cop. ‘We can do this here or downtown. The choice is yours’

      • Not forgetting a harassed, constantly shouting black police captain who never comes out from behind his desk and insists that “the DA’s gonna have his ass”
        Usually portrayed by Bill Duke or Frank McCrae…

  18. Watched Zulu the other day with that Michael Caine fellow.
    Every actor playing the zulus were black, hardly fair representation is it?

  19. Whenever anything is being searched on a computer.
    The token ultra fast rattling of keyboard followed by beeps and electronic noises from the monitor as the information displays. There isn’t , hasn’t or will ever be a computer that does this.
    Also a 10 minute fist fight where each protagonist gets hit at least 30 times results in one of them having a neat little stripe of blood from one nostril. Let’s be honest their faces would look more like Arnold swarzaneggar in Total recall when they end up depressurising.

    • You’re right, someone gets a beating that would put him in hospital for six months, he’s rescued just before he gets killed, they say “Are you alright?” He stands up, wipes his face and says “Yeah”.

  20. Token fucking females or minorites do my crust in. I rapidly lose interest. I await the new ‘Top Gun’ with trepidation. I’m sure they’ll shoe-horn some in there.

  21. The ‘keyboard download ‘cliché has become one of the biggest cunts in filmdom. The bad guys are always racing to the room where the hero/heroine is desperately trying to copy the crucial info. The hero’s never going to make it. Then; the baddies crash in to an empty room…
    Oh just fuck off.

  22. Great cunting Ron. The day when Marty Scorsese jacks it in will be the end of any lingering originality in Franchise-fantasy-CGI Hollywood; something Harvey Wankstain had to offer too, in purely celluloid terms his demise is a pity.

    I see there’s a TV remake of Dracula coming on over Xmas. This is when I DO want the old Hammer cliches to be repeated :-

    Out of control / driverless horses galloping along a murky forest track….and it’s getting dark

    Van Helsing arriving at the Inn, curtains pulled right; nobody talking

    Big-titted beauties in see-through diaphanous gowns. Mein Gott, Ingrid Pitt and Madeline Smith were incredible!

    Inconsolable sobbing from somewhere in the dungeons

    Shaft of sunlight on coffin

    Stake or silver bullet through the heart of course

    BBC I’m not holding my breath…….

  24. Thing about those old Hammer clichés, Isaac, is that to my mind, they were part of the concept. There was a knowing ‘nod and a wink’ about their inclusion, all part and parcel of the Hammer product.

    • Best nom and follow ups in ages. Had me chortling like Billy Bunter let loose in the tuck shop at Greyfriars. Congrats ISACers.

  25. “I’m getting too old for this sh*t”.

    Or ” I didn’t sign up for this sh*t”

    Or “I was 1 day closer to retirement then they promote me” something like that.

      • How do, Ron?

        All is well. Thanks.
        Still hurts a bit, but looking at ISAC website and seeing the nominations appearing and the comments from fellow c*nters cheers me up. 🙂

      • Good news mate!
        If you’re on the sick, dig out a few films and join in a game of ‘Spot the Cliché’!

    • Did you really have an accident Spoons?? Sorry to hear that, thought somebody earlier was joking

      • Evening Cuntan. I did indeed. I’m OK. Just the bar steward pain.

        “Doctor, it hurts when I do this.”
        -“Well, stop doing it then.”

  26. Bunter=Frank Richards=Legend.

    A year ago I dropped in to Waterstones and fuck me you’d have thought I’d detonated a stink bomb such was the response to my associated query ! Airbrushed from history China-style.

    References to the dusky Nawab of Bhanipur and a thrashing from Quelchy may well be decidedly un-PC but it’ll be the fat jokes that really upsets the easily offended.

    Harry Wharton and his mate Skinner are residing in a Margate Care Home now.

    • Come now old bean, methinks it would be more likely to be Broadstairs or Sandwich, after all they were splendid chaps from thoroughly decent families,
      Have read Bunter books many times over fantastic, still waiting for my postal order from pater, blessed postman must be the time of year

      • “YAROO!! Coker’s fallen off his motorbike again you fellows”
        Read them all as a kid. Cracking stuff.
        Ownership of the books is probably a capital offence now…

  27. Oh that it was, old son! I found some of the banter quite amusing though!
    It was also funny because of the ludicrous ‘family slot’ lengths it went to to avoid showing anyone getting seriously hurt.
    Baddies’ car smashes through roadside barrier and plunges down ravine. Cut immediately to baddies scrambling out through car window. Nobody hurt!
    The whole programme was a cliché on legs. Guess that’s why I remember it with fondness.

  28. After sex you never see any body going to the bathroom to get washed just flop onto their sides dirty buggers, at least Richard Roundtree had the good sense to have sex in the shower in ”Shaft”, one of the best soundtracks of any film, never see it on the box these days

    • Anybody that says they can hear the intro to the Shaft theme and says they don’t sing or hum along is a fucking liar.

  29. In fire fights the bad cunts appear they couldn’t hit a cows arse with a banjo
    When it comes to downing the hero , shooting from point blank range with automatic weapons they only manage to partially wound the main man , who despite being hit manages to find time to make wise cracks!!

    • It’s funny that, especially when the hero, Steven Segal style, dodges a thousand automatic weapon rounds, then starts bagging the villians with a pistol, one shot apiece.

      • I had the 1985 Arnie film “Commando” on in the background the other day, Christ I loved it when I was 12 but blimey does it look laughable now. Arnie literally standing in place mowing down row upon row of baddies with a belt-fed machine gun!! And as per standard practice a bullet hitting a baddie will blow a limb, head etc. clean off resulting in instantaneous death; whereas one hitting good guy will cause a slight wince of pain and minor blood loss for 30 seconds or so before healing instantly.

      • I loved “Commando” CtC, agree its very dated now and probably breaks multiple snowflake rules in SJW handbook. “Let off some steam Bennett”.

      • Evening mr liquidator…..
        Predator has some lol classic lines
        “ you’re hit you’re bleeding “
        “ i ain’t got time to bleed “

      • Brilliant supporting cast
        Carl weathers ( Apollo creed)
        Sonny landham
        Jesse Ventura
        Bill duke
        “ he’s dug in worse than an Alabama tick”
        Fucking priceless

      • That’s reminded me of another one LL; the hero spends the first 90 minutes wiping out legions of bad guys without breaking a sweat – then in the last 10 minutes has to fight the head baddie who proceeds to nigh-on beat him to death single-handed! Especially daft in Commando as the baddie in question is a slightly out-of-shape, late middle aged Vernon Wells in a camp chain mail vest taking on Arnie in his prime

      • I love forking love Commando! It’s cheesy as fork, but to me, that helps make it a classic.

        Vernon camps it up even more as the baddie Ransik, in television show Power Rangers Time Force. Pulling bone swords out of his body.

      • I had completely forgot his camp get-up, he was even sporting a fetching tache if I remember.

      • He sure did! Fingerless gloves as well, looked like the bastard offspring of Action Man and the Village People

      • Best segal film for laughs is “ on deadly ground “
        We find a particularly nasty corporate king pin Micheal Caine complete with black boot polish hair stealing land rich in oil From some indigenous peoples!
        Enter Forrest Taft played by sea gull dressed in ethnic clothing sporting slick hair and a nice array of one liners , in one scene he manages to beat up an entire legion of big muscled oil workers in a pub using nothing more than paper napkins , some cocktails sticks and bad jokes !! Of course these huge brutes don’t all charge the cunt, choosing instead to let one man have a go at our deadly hero who dutifully dispatch’s the hopeless fools …..
        it’s actually hilarious…….

      • In all these fight scenes there is usually a dopey bint who needs rescuing but never picks up a bar stool or gun to whack the bad guy and help our hero out or if she does, she is fucking around with the safety clip still on.

      • My mate Eric used to be obsessed with Mr S, we used to love renting his latest to watch on a Friday night with a few beers. Made it disappointing when it became clear that old Steve was overdoing the doughnuts and doing less and less of his own stunts and fight scenes as time went on; remember watching one where what we assumed was a new character appeared suddenly, going full Bruce Lee and beating the shit out of everyone; when he’d finished the camera panned away from the slim muscular guy’s body and cut to a sweaty Seagal’s face, supposedly it had been him doing the fighting…. oh dear

      • What the fuck is that on Segal’s head these days? How the fuck can you take anyone seriously as an operator when he looks so ridiculous?

  30. Suprised nobody has mentioned the light as air suitcases everybody loads into their cars that’s been going on forever

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