Faddish foods

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Anomination for faddish foods, or food fads.

The one that comes to mind is pulled pork, or the facsimile of it, usually shredded crust in a sugary gloop.
Pulled pork is really the Southern US version slow cooked hog roast, where the meat is gently cooked until it is less pulled and can barely hold to the bone.

There are a few others, such as lobsters with ‘mac and cheese’, venison and chocolate, the ubiquitous nonsense of noughties pub menus, ‘hunters chicken’ – not chicken chasseur – consisting a chicken breast wrapped in rashers of bacon, then smothered in cheddar and more of that rich overpowering BBQ sauce.

Probably the noughties equivalent of the more recent obsession for BBQ ‘pulled’ pork.

Another ingredient that became far too frequent on menus and supermarket shelves was chorizo.

As for dinky donks (Frankie Howerd), everything and everyone is drowning in Prosecco, gin and grapefruit-infused craft ale.

Perhaps worst of all is the hipster cretins having ironic 70s dinner parties.

There’s nothing ironic about eating a Chicken Kiev, so fuck off.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

48 thoughts on “Faddish foods”

  2. Try getting a quick pint in your average British pub …& wait for ten minutes whilst a variety of flavoured fucking gins are mixed for the gaggle of cackling women. What’s the matter with a fucking Babycham? Top popped & fizz in a glass – done!

  3. We had some non-ironic Chicken Kievs on Friday. They came from Iceland. They were ok I suppose.

  4. I’ve just lost my job after the Italian soup factory where I worked went bust and was put into adminestrone….

  5. It’s the fad for eating undercooked meat that gets me…still,better that than being one of those veggies who are forever banging on about “cute ickle lamby kin-kins” or some such shite.
    Shove a marrow up yer hoop and Fuck Off.

    • Yes it’s true. Every advert shows undercooked meat. All red in the middle = not fucking cooked.

      Veggies not as bad as Vegans. They really are cunts and all this stupid milk. Almond milk, coconut milk and soya milk. oh please. Fuck off.

  6. American shit for cunts that can’t be bothered to chew. I’ve seen a few cooking programs from USA and, invariably the shit they eat doesn’t need a knife and fork and is covered in cheese.

    • I think it’s called ‘slop’ or ‘chow’.

      My brother has visited the US a few times over the years and he said American diner and restaurant food in the midwest is like British school dinners.

      • No wonder they are the size of a planet. Mind you, some of the local lasses arses have their own postcodes they are that big.

  8. Pulled pork sounds like something a pîkey would eat after a hard day of muckspreading and fucking their sister. Like boiled pigeon or squirrel on a stick. You can smell their disease.

  10. I rarely eat out nowadays after a rather disturbing incident last year in a restaurant when a young lad collapsed to the floor all contorted , writhing around and frothing at the mouth . I later found out he’d had the seizure salad. Yuk yuk.

  12. There is a time and place for all types of food and variety’s the key.
    Can’t knock American BBQ now and again… they’re still cunts but know how to BBQ.
    I bought a massive offset smoker a while ago…I can cold and hot smoke on it.
    Hot/cold smoked salmon, smoked chillies, smoked salt, smoked pork, smoked tomatoes and smoked chicken.
    I had planned on inviting you lot round for some cider and smoked foods but as you have all been slagging off BBQ you can all go fuck yourselves.
    I spent all my benefits cheque on the food you ungrateful cunts.
    Piss off.

      • Just back from the pub, family meal of roast beef, yorkshire pud, roast taters, mash n greens,
        Few pints of farmers blonde ale.
        What more do you need?
        Fuck these ‘food fads’ im not playing.
        Same with ‘superfoods’ an foreign muck.
        Has to be traditional english, cooked by english, english grown ingredients.
        We have the best food in the world!
        Why would i eat what some fuckin sand-dancer eats?!!

        Rule Britannia.

      • I had the same but with pork and a lovey bit of crackling. Don’t get me started on cunts who photograph their food to brag about on social media. Cretins.

      • What abaaaht Welsh and Scottish food MNC? I like a Haggis but you gotta sprinkle a shot of single malt over it… lovely.
        Can’t beat Welsh Lamb…in fact I’m getting a whole one off a mate, I can sell you a bit of you want. I love all types of food MNC although I think we have the best puddings. Apple crumble and custard, bread pudding, bread and butter pudding…all other brute nations desserts can go fuck themselves.

      • Yer right, BWC, meant ‘british’ yeah welsh lamb👍 also those welsh cakes are good too, meant more the foreign shite, arab stuff etc, France has a reputation for fine food, but I reckon we beat them hands down!
        Puddings? Jesus, hot sponge or spotted dick with custard 💘
        Thick wedge of apple pie….
        You like olives BWC?
        I tried one being adventurous,
        Fuckin minging! Urrgh..

      • Oh an that ‘bara braith’ welsh tealoaf, really like that.
        An colcannon so the irish dont feel im dissing em.

      • Love olive’s MNC…the ones with the stone in are better. Must be down to my Italian Great Grandmother…

      • Each to their own BWC, i spat mine out.
        Ive got a gourmet travel show in planning with BBC,
        Where i travel round the world telling people I hate their food.

        Although i love gherkins!!

      • Not into that King Cunt, I like my woman all to myself. Not into sharing, although she can shove a dildo up her arse whilst giving me a shine.

      • Makes you wonder what vegans have for Christmas? I bet it tastes disgusting, no wonder they are all miserable demented arseholes. Some cunt mentioned a tofu turkey on TV this week, the mind boggles.

      • My brother inlaw is a veggie, he had a nut roast one christmas at the mother inlaws house, and I was curious
        Asked to try it, an it wasnt bad!
        Like stuffing, but no way could it compete with the turkey dinner i was having!
        Them little pigs in bankets! True love.

  13. Or the “$40 scampi burgers,” as seen in a newly opened “food precinct”, which in my fair city is a case of another bloody wog cashing in on hipster foods and cooking fads. Bloody Nora, cooking is as simple as just adding heat, and food, or strictly speaking, eating food, is bloody well nothing more than masticating once its sufficiently cooled down enough to neck.
    40 fucking dollars? Turn it up!

    • Not heard of scampi burgers here yet CC, like scampi, i like burgers, dunno about them together.
      Whats 40 dollars in english money?
      30 quid or something?
      Fuck that.

      • Like Frank Skinner said “cooking is turning raw things into food using heat – any f*cker can do it”!

        And at 30 quid a pop I might just start with my recently acquired speciality – mussels with carbonara sauce from the reduced aisle! (took some wrestling with the toothless munting “local ladies”)

  14. I’m not keen eating a meal that looks like a big plate with a small piece of food on it. I want something to fill me up.

    • A big steak, chips & onion rings?
      Fish & chips?
      Bangers n mash?
      Christmas dinner?
      Like that Spoons?!

      • Just watched “Eddie eats America”
        Where worlds strongest man Eddie Hall tries different american food,
        He had a 6lb buttie (sarnie for southern readers) massive!
        Know how to use bread the yanks.

  15. I have a fairly wide-ranging taste in food. There’s not much I would turn my nose up at, as anyone unlucky enough to see my big belly would confirm. At the local Indian one night, feeling somewhat brave after a few too many bevvies, I decided to risk a Phaal. Jesus it was hot going in, it was 100 times fucking hotter coming out. I was walking like John Wayne for a week afterwards. Fuck that.

  16. I would like to add shit chic-chic food like falafel, hummus, and jack-fruit to this cunting.

  17. I’m currently producing an app that allows you to take photos of bland, unappetising Cornish pasties, then edit said photos through various filters to make them look more appealing.
    Ginstergram….

  18. Don’t get me started on grapefruit tasting beer! If it’s beer, what the FUCK is wrong with having it taste like beer?! Some cunt with a hipster beard, happy to pay twice the price for half the volume of some fizzy grapefruit piss! And the knock on is that the pub then thinks it can get away with upping the price of proper ale.
    CUNTS!

  19. Agree with the general thrust of the cunting but I must admit I quite like chorizo. Had to use it as an ingredient in year 9 Food Tech once and realised I actually rather enjoyed it.

  20. My cunt with it is the lazy adjective resort to ‘pulled’. It’s not fucking ‘pulled’. It’s RIVEN, you 11+ failing illiterates.

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