Christmas

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It has to be said, Christmas is a complete cunt.

Thank fuck that load of bollocks is over with for another year. Same old shit every year, people spending loads of money on shit they don’t really need, dressing up like a cunt to sit round a dinner table with another load of cunts that you really don’t want to talk to. Every radio station playing annoying Christmas music.

Can’t believe that people actually still enjoy this cunt. And what the fuck, why do we have to kiss people that we usually try to avoid for the rest of the year? Fuck it, I’m going away next year.

Nominated by Cunty mcfuckwit

60 thoughts on “Christmas”

  1. Merry Christmas mcfuckwit!
    Yes i love it too!
    Now step on over here an pull my cracker!!!😀

  2. Christmas is over? You must be joking!
    It’s an expandable feast that goes in to the New Year. It’s seamless- you can’t tell when one ends and the other begins.
    MNC would be horrified if you told him it was over.

    • That’s right BBTC, Christmas doesn’t finish unyil the leftovers are gone and the booze is finished.
      I’m pissed and in a good mood now.
      Everyone can still go fuck themselves.

  3. Got the house to myself, a big glass of my dear uncle Jack Daniels and a DVD double bill of Gladiator and Moonraker.
    Merry Christmas and fuck the BBC…😀😀😀

    • Gladiator…one of my favourites.
      I imagine myself back in those glorious days when a man could be anything he wanted to be.
      I would have been a major historical figure, shrouded in legend and myth.
      Nowadays we have X factor cunts and Poundland wankers.

      • They truly do not make them like that anymore,sadly.
        Ridley Scott certainly doesn’t, more’s the pity…

    • I watched the Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean with Paul Newman. Almost a great movie but suffered a mediocre final 25mins.

    • I watched oodles of Schitt’s Creek on my flash player – it was fucking schittsville – no fuckin’ bbc/sky shit for me#

  5. Trouble is, Christmas staggers on right up until New Year’s Day. New Year’s Eve is more cuntery. All of that TV fireworks and Hootenanny shit and “let’s see in 2020 with a glass of Asti” pile of cunt jollity.

    I am having a pyjama day today. Much as I love my family, I need some alone time after all of the “let’s play Trivial Pursuit” and “one pig in blanket or two?” fuckery of yesterday.

    Ironically enough, I am somewhat of a “pig in blanket” myself today, troughing on a big, fuck-off mug of milky coffee and chocolate buttons……

      • What makes me laugh about that Hootenanny shite is that I read somewhere that it’s actually recorded in August. All those cunts sat around in the studio trying to pretend it’s New Year’s Eve. Wankers.

      • I’d be inclined to contact OFCOM because this is clearly a trade descriptions thing.

        Cunts

    • when i was in my teens (early 70s), in northern scotland hogmany went on until a least 3rd jan. on n.y.eve people left their door open and relatives and complete strangers could just wander in and out at random,all welcome and rarely any trouble. Can you imagine such trust these days? Hogmany as it is now is dying out. cant be done with it . The fucking fucker is fucked.

  6. Must say that I like Xmas. Had a lovely day with the family yesterday. No what gets my goat is the fucking relentless consumer bombardment leading it up to it, which seems to get going earlier every year. Now THAT’S a right cunt.

    • Agreed, the TV commercials on Xmas Day were all “Boxing Day Sales” from the usual suspects – Currys, DFS etc.

      They just can’t wait to take more of your fuckin money!

  7. Get stuck in Nurse. Somebody gave me a huge fuck off packet of Jammie Dodgers yesterday, and I’m pigging out as I laze about on IsAC. The wife’s got the coffee on, bless her.

    • Afternoon Sir Ron!

      My God, I’m a right porker. Got stuck in I well and truly have done. I am troughing from a big bag of Giant Choc Buttons and I am down to the last three now.

      They disappeared quicker than Dame Elton into Hampstead Heath’s bushes…..

      Enjoy that coffee and the Jammies!

      • Will do Nurse!
        The wife’s made some of her excellent coffee and has just sat down with a box of her favourite (gluten free to boot) Thornton’s dark chocolate gingers wot I gave her. She’s also produced two large balloon glasses of Courvoisier to go with it. Heaven.
        It’ll be back to my five-two fasting regime soon enough, but for now at least, it’s snouts in the trough!
        Enjoy!

      • Don’t think dame Elton is going to disappear into any buses !! as for getting stuck in the wood well that’s a different story

  8. Yesterday not too bad, more for who wasn’t there than who was. Otherwise you can stick Xmas up your hairy arsehole.

  9. Don’t speak too soon. The cunting thing’ll be back on the radar in 6 months time when the shops start putting glittery shit back on the shelves and playing g fucking Christmas music at the height of fucking summer.
    I hate it more and more each year.
    FUCK OFF CHRISTMAS, YOU CUNT!

  10. Fuck Christmas, but mostly fuck all the cunts who think it’s a ‘magical’ time. The cunts who can’t wait to put on a tacky Christmas jumper on, love all the fucking dreadful music that is sheer hell for those who don’t like it, because it’s fucking inescapable. And the cunts who say bah humbug! Perhaps they wouldn’t be so full of festive cheer if they were going through a divorce, with the prospect of being homeless because the house you are trying to buy might fall through because of the incompetence of cunts beyond your control, losing the home you love of the last ten years, at the same time as watching your fathers’ dementia worsen to the point that all that’s left is the physical being and little else, and the impact that has on your family. Last Christmas was shite, but this one for me has been the worst of my life. So, when someone said bah humbug to me last week, they really didn’t know how close they came to being murdered. I’ve tried not to bring people down with my drama, but to be mocked for not wanting to wrap yourself in fucking glitter and whelp about like a fucking six year old was not appreciated. I don’t want sympathy, there are people having a far worse time than me, just a tiny bit of understanding would have hit the spot. Twats.

    • I know that it’s a trite thing to say Gj,but I hope that the New Year brings you better fortune.

    • Profound and sincere sympathies. Been there; done that.
      Sociopathic psychopathc wife at the time; father in closing stages of motor neurone disease (and that is a BIG cunt!); 15 years of being “gas lighted” (which is also a MASSIVE cunt).
      Managed to get shot of the crazy bitch. Managed to get through losing my Dad. Found myself with a new woman who had faith in me and has supported me through it and since.
      The estate agent (or “Piss Taking Cunt, as he and all of his tribe shall ever be known) didn’t know what’d fucking hit him when my verbal pressure valve went off in his seasonal office full of staff dressed like fucking elves while he looks like a fucking pimp.
      Sorry… gone off on one…
      It’ll get better B&WC. Feel free to call me a cunt for THAT worthless platitude.
      Onwards and cuntwards.

    • Hang in Gutstick. I’m sure that cunters everywhere will join in witha wish for better fortune for you in the new year.

    • Thank you all, here’s hoping 2020 will be a better year for everyone. Except Sturgeon, Bercow and the rest of the wall.

  11. Mariah Carey reminds me of my favourite trout fly the Dunkeld .It always performs better with a bit of jungle cock.

  12. You lot can be a right bunch of miserable bastard’s…get pissed and join in, if drink don’t float your boat get some weed or crack.
    Either way let’s be happy as 2020 is around the corner and there will be demonstrations of unheard of levels of cuntitude next year.
    I expect some mad last minute stop Brexit bollox, Blair trying to be Labour leader again and some cunt asking me for money.
    So until then let’s try to be happy and celebrate the birth of our saviour and look forward to next year when the Reds win the League.

    • Lol! It’s as certain as death and taxes B & W, that there’ll be the usual endless parade of cunt politicians, royals, SJWs and z-list arseholes to keep us properly entertained in 2020.

      • If there are any guarantees Ron Knee it’s taxes and plenty of cunts.
        You have to roll with it sometimes and accept things will never change.

    • Am definitely looking forward to 2020, and have enjoyed the Winterval period – but only because I have literally ignored every single phony Christmas tradition, avoided social events, and been all the happier.

      • My worry is all the other way with Boris’s huge majority-I mean Remain is a spent force, all those cunts like Grieve, Clarke, Soubry have gone their ‘voices’ silenced, he could get rid of the BBC- all the pu*fs and trannies gone, he could fix knife crime or Pritti could, maybe even get a handle on the migrant crisis. I am deeply worried;-if this pervading air of sanity continues we may wake one morning soon with no Cunts to cunt! All the Cunts will be gone!

  13. I still like it but maybe when I become older, the shine will have worn off. It certainly cheers up a grey Winter.
    I’ll just enjoy my chocco truffles that Father Christmas brought me and forget about returning to work.

  14. Christmas Day was okay, but it didn’t seem like it without a bit of snow.

    Christmas TV was utter wank as usual, so while I has the house to myself for a couple of hours I slipped on “Lesbian Anal Intruders” just after the Queen’s Bollocks at 3pm.

    Fortunately my wife and I didn’t bend our respective credit cards on prezzies, so we’ll suffer no hangover when the statements pop through the door next week.

    I will say one thing about Christmas TV, Channel 5 showed some classic Morecambe & Wise from back in the 1970s, along with a documentary on Tommy Cooper.

    I laughed my bollocks off at both – family entertainment, good jokes but without having to resort to foul language of virtue signaling. Compare that to some of the shit we have now- Mrs Brown’s Boys, for example: about as funny as a blind date with Flabbot!

      • Clearly the Admins are down the pub getting pissed, given that they haven’t released my previous post from Moderation.

        Either that, or Diane Abbott has knocked on Day Admin’s door and offered him sexual favours for an hour or two.

        Just hope Night Admin can resist such temptations? Good old Night Admin. Quality bloke, top geezer etc etc.

        tsk,tsk Techno, you know we control your voice, was the marmite not enough?

  16. Christmas doesn’t affect me, apart from the shops being shut, because I don’t take part in it. If people give me a card, I’ll give them one back and that’s it. I don’t feel the need to be close to family, my only sibling lives thousands of miles away and that’s just fine with me. I don’t need anyone to tell me what to eat and drink because it’s a certain time of year. I do what I want when I want. And I’m certainly not religious so the whole thing is a load of crap.
    Season’s greetings to everyone at ISAC.

  18. Well said Cunty mcfuckwit

    If you still “love Christmas, me…” once your age is into double figures, you need to give yourself a fucking good smack and grow the fuck up.

    In other news – my cars exhaust system is now fixed so I’m mobile again but rest assured – I toasted Our Lord “Jesus-Fucking-Cunting-Bastard-Christ” many times on his Birthday yesterday whilst ragging the skin off my knuckles under the car.

  19. The joy’s.
    I fucked my feeble frame through coughing xmas morning, did my back in and decided on some real artillery to wipe the pain.
    The affect of morphine based pain killers on my digestive tract was not what I expected, I had assumed constipation would ensue, alas no, The drugs did there job and gave me two hours to drive down and collect Mrs B’s (MKIII) son, after that a crippling fermentation occurred ( by which time I was “Visiting the people I was unable to see yesterday due to ill health”.
    I entered their property, attempted a smile and retreated to the toilet that is attached to the sitting room where I then spent around half an hour making assorted brass band noises from my arse, struggled to pull my trousers up and then went into the sitting room to a sympathetic audience (who no doubt had heard my little band practice).
    I politely asked to be driven home and went to bed.
    I think I have 46 tins of beer here, fuck knows how many nibbles, none of which I can touch and its work tomorrow.

    • I stirred from the sofa to make a coffee, this is a triathlon in 3 directions, fridge, cupboard, kettle ( our fridge is not in the kitchen for reasons beyond my control) any way getting up was fun, a multi stage supporting exercise and I am not having any more of those shitty meds.
      so boil kettle get milk, (fortunately the prime ingredients are next to the kettle)
      Make coffee chuck in good slug of whiskey and stir.
      Look in cup in fucking horror! It would seem her lady ship basted the potatoes with goose fat and left the tea spoon on the tray next to the kettle.
      I decided that I was not prepared to do another triathlon as all the ingredients are acceptable separately, I have decided to try this rather unusual beverage , I doubt it will catch on, more of an acquired taste, bit like black tea and yaks butter.

  20. Glad to hear that Boxing Day Zombie Shoppers were 10% down this year. Good that more people have realised they’ve got enough useless shit.

  22. 5 hours working in the garden in the sunshine yesterday is a bonus this time of year, I personally despise new year bollocks more than christmas

  24. Dog bless us everyone.

    I love Christmas but I am glad it is over.

    P.s where did the picture for this nomination come from? It’s hilarious. It made me laugh and snort like a pig! 😀

  25. Luckily I am currently able to do what the fuck I like, I realise this isn’t an option for many. Yes it starts too early, yes the simpler minded go silly over it and it is always one song away from becoming too much, but I quite like Christmas.
    Anyone who gets excited about New Year’s Eve though is a total cunt.

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