An overture-and-beginners, lights-round-the-makeup-mirror cunting please for Equity, the actor laddies union, who wish to ban that disgraceful sexist expression *Ladies and Gentlemen*:
What a bunch of limp-wristed fuckwits.
What should we call the punters then?. Answers on a postcard please to Hilary Benn, a man with a woman’s name, who will ask for a confirmatory vote to put it back to “the people”
Nominated by W. C. Boggs
Punters = Cunters. Nice simple fix. Cunters welcome to the Cunt theatre Drury Cunt or some such. After all you wouldn’t want to tax their brains too much.
7
I thought they were all called luvvie.
8
COMRADES, primates and gender-fluids. Has a sort of inclusive ring to it. The only “equity” about Equity is their being a bunch of cunts eager to convert as many others into cunts as possible.
Of course, there is the timeless and “hilarious” – LADLES AND JELLYSPOONS although that could trigger the limbless who cannot use such implements.
I’d suggest the compere leap up and down going “urrrrgh urrrghhh” while gurning a cheesy smile but that could frighten anyone of a sensitive nature.
Clapping is now out and I suspect that “jazz hands” will soon go the same way as someone could see it as a threatening gesture of carried out in too close a proximity.
Perhaps we should all stay at home with plays performed to empty theatres or better yet to rows of stuffed vegan toy teddy bears.
The world always had a few cunts, it’s now overflowing with the fuckers. Time to ship a few million into space, the loss of hot air should help the climate.
Send the cunts to the heart of the sun. Hopefully these sopping wet blankets don’t extinguish it when these sopping wet snowflakes melt.
Equity are CUNTS and anyone not agreeing is also a cunt and can fuck off. Good job I’m in moderate mood today.
18
Inclusive ring?
Hardly among rampant uphill gardners and poofs!
2
Just look at Equity’s logo. Imagine how someone with Bell’s Palsy or having suffered a stroke feels when seeing such perfect symmetrical expressions. HEARTLESS INCONSIDERATE CUNTS. Need to be reported to the Equalities (to all cunts) Commission
5
I don’t get all this shit, why do people want to trash everything in the brainwashed pursuit of wokeness.
‘My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen’ I give you Equity, yet another bunch of CUNTS!
12
My Sargent used to shout “Listen up you bags of shit” that worked, very gender fluid and inclusive.
I wonder if that will catch on?
11
I used to work in a theatre, doing backstage work, lights etc, and I can confirm that most actors are indeed cunts. Self-absorbed, needy,loud, boorish, egotistical cunts. Some of the more well-known ones were OK, it’s mainly the amateurs and semi-pros who were the main causes of heartache for us teckies. Pain in the arse the lot of them.
9
admin speed read of your comment.
I used to work in a theatre, doing backstage work, and I can confirm that most actors are indeed cunts, Some of the more well-known ones were OK.
Pain in the arse the lot of them.
You can imagine my first thoughts on that!
6
Lol, I remember once a rather stunning lady asking me where her husband – one of the principal players-had got to. I walked from the foyer to the backstage area and made an announcement to the dressing room PA. Several minutes later, no sign. I thought “fuck this, I should be in the pub”. I walked up to the dressing room, knocked the door, and was met with silence. I opened the door and whaddya know-theres said actor in all his glory, doing the hot dog dance with another bloke from the show. I quickly exited, and told his wife “your husband will be coming shortly”. Well, that wasn’t a lie, was it? Now when I see the cunt on TV I chuckle and think “ya dirty bastard”. This was in the early 90s so I’m sure he’s had countless whoopsie Daisy moments since. Odd thing was, his wife was amazing in every way. Poor fucking woman.
10
Wouldn’t it be lovely if someone showed some backbone & told them to go fuck themselves. Then they could strike & all the studios and tv networks could just usher in a new generation, there can’t be a shortage of the cunts. Love to see how quickly they’d back down, it won’t happen but just a thought.
9
Great point, Earl.
People need to stop being so defensive in these situations and just tell these snowflake wankers to fuck off.
13
I’ve been thinking about that phrase ‘the chilling effect’. I first heard it during the gay marriage debate. Edward Leigh at the commitee when someone who was saying you would still be allowed not to see it as a legitimate. ‘But you know’ he said ‘there will be the chilling effect’. Meaning there will be pressure from the culture to accept it.
Little did we know. I am not sure I could say anything outside these hallowed pages now. The last time I went out I couldn’t say a thing about Brexit, tranny rights. For example I was in a pub and the stupidest looking tranny came in! I emitted a ‘ffs’ under my breath. But it was made clear to me that I shouldn’t go any further.
All the Celebs at the moment are being very careful to refer to Caitlin Jenner as ‘she’ on I’m a Celebrity. Going out of their way to help because ‘she’s an old lady’. Its a fucking bloke with tits you cunts.
There must come a time surely when common sense is reasserted. Not in my lifetime though I think.
11
At least Bruce Jenner doesn’t get offended to the point where their eyeballs bulge & they go a shade of violet when it’s “misgendered” the sick fuck and i of course don’t watch it😁
5
And you are, of course, entitled to ^ppfffssttt” in your local booze M.P. Wtf has the world come to.
3
Fucking ay Ron, actors/actresses are so disposable. They forget that they are just entertainers, park up the political opinions and virtue signalling and just Fuck off, they’re only preaching to the converted anyway, fucking mongoloids that follow them on spacogram, twatter and flidbook.
4
Further to it EC. ‘Chilling’ or ‘chillin” means to relax. But the chllling effect it to make you freeze.
To explain I go out about every 3 months for old time’s sake with my two remaining friends from childhood. John 1 his first born son is Gay. So no talk about that of related issues like Trannies. John 2 is an ardent Remainer. So no talk about that either. But just to say we never really talked about politics all our lives. My point: that politics has entered into personal relationships to an extent I’ve never known before.
8
Any discussion or debate that doesn’t conform to a certain identikit has become toxic.We are no longer able to talk about anything sensible anymore as your just pigeon holed as a xenophobic, sexist, racist, transphobic etc bigot we’re going to hell in a handcart.
4
The Actors and Actresses of Equity are all massive cunts.
5
Sorry. Actresses and Actresses.
1
Lady Keir..
1
I thought unions were for people who actually worked for a living.
Luvvie cunts…
7
How about “ladies, gentlemen, don’t knows and Dame Keir”?
5
There was something that the luvvies were having the other day. Think it was the Evening Standard awards. Honestly, the shit I heard – and that was just the “highlights”. And to further super-heat my already boiling piss, I find out that “showmen” are exempt from the LEZ in London – this, apparently, means people delivering props to theatres and instruments to music venues. For fuck’s sake – I think even off-duty ambulances need to pay it, but the fucking luvvies don’t. Ian McKellan being delivered to a theatre after a good fisting – yes, that will be a showman’s trip.
8
Ladies and Gentlemen has already been banned by TfL (London Underground). “Customers” is the new term. Fucking wankers. I make sure I piss all over the seat of any “gender neutral” toilets.
11
Proposed alternative; ‘trannies and bendermen!’
9
Autobotters and Decepticunts.
9
But that leaves out the ‘puny flesh creatures’ Megaton etc would call humans.
0
Looks like Equity is also going to choose the way of the animal . Why don’t they just add and a special welcome to the bestial mutants . A small minority of lib-cunts and bandits complain and then it effects everyone . Same in sport it’s spunk week again on Sky and everyone has to wear a little multi coloured badge to show support for the bloke penetrators.
11
A concise and apt cunting. There’s going to be a problem of precedence here. Will the MC be announcing, “Cis females, cis males, trans females,trans males, whatevers…”
Or “Trans females, cis males, whatevers…”
Which, IOW, is the most respect-worthy category? I foresee ructions.
And “My lords, ladies…” adds another layer of extremely silly complexity. Which can neatly be avoided, regardless of social rank, by announcing “You cunts”.
7
Yeah im offended by ladies and gentlemen, its made me tearful on many occasions.
How about “split arses & quëërs?
Or a all encompassing ‘shower of shite?’
8
I vote choice three!
1
”Welcome to all our guests”, seems straightforward to me and perhaps a little to obvious to some, but I am sure some group would find an excuse to complain.
2
I remember on an episode of Star Trek Deep Space Nine, Odo the security fella on the station, was making an announcement to the people on the promenade, “Ladies and gentlemen, and all androgynous creatures…”
Maybe theatre announcers should say that!
4
A curiously observed phenomenon is that moose limbs do not attend the theatre. So in 20 years’ time, the proscenium arch-bandits will be addressing an audience of exactly no-one, and therefore any ‘pronouns’ are hardly likely to offend.
1
Nowhere to stash a rucksack
1
gussets … gussets
0