Cancer Scare Tactics (2)

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Cancer scare tactics are a cunt.
Many of us have suffered a family loss to this disease. It’s awful. However, the corporate tactic to raise money is like rubbing salt in the wound, because of the cavalier way statistics are quoted and presented.
I saw some tv recently, and I saw the statistic being touted of “1 in 2 of us in the UK will get cancer in our lifetime”.
The delivery of this statistic relies on the context of emotional distress, usually after a harrowing real life story. Of course the reality is terrible, I’m not suggesting otherwise.
However, I would say that there is a massive fucking difference between implying that half the population are definately getting the disease so pay up cos you might need our help, and saying that the average person has a fifty percent chance of contracting the disease in their lifetime.
Let’s not forget that this statistic also includes all the different cancers, many of which are already treatable, or benign, or the fact that many elderly people die anyway despite having an age related cancer.
Having a fifty percent chance also means that not getting it at all is also a possible outcome, for each person, individually.
This is no doubt the work of advertising executives, those soulless cunts who set loose the chuggers on our streets, and set about cold calling the elderly. I think drawing on people’s fear of death is an awful thing to coolly employ as a marketing tactic. Raising money for these things is obviously necessary but I think it should be done openly and honestly.
People would give to a cause like cancer research even if marketing execs didn’t imply they were next.
I suppose it’s too much to expect a marketing exec to comprehend that at least some humans are capable of empathy.
Perhaps this is also one of those subjects we’re not allowed to speak realistically about, and doing so just means that one is a cunt.

Nominated by Cuntflap

34 thoughts on “Cancer Scare Tactics (2)”

  1. Yep totally agree with this one. That CEOs 250k salary isn’t going to pay itself though is it.

    1 in 2 people , some incredible massaging if stats the likes of which we have never seen (outside of Blair’s government). I remember a couple of decades ago this stat was 1 in 3 but clearly not scary enough odds for a nation addicted to online gambling.

    Think about it for a moment, how many people right this moment do you know that have cancer? I can’t name one.

    I am a cunt though to be fair and have literally no friends, so this might be a bit misleading .

  2. My cousins are both chuggers.

    Both massive layabout cunts yet the family (the thick ones) think they are selfless charity angels.

    I go out of my way to be rude to chuggers , most people cross the road to avoid, I cross the road to speak to them.

    Well…I say speak to them, I mean just to call them cunts.

  3. Funnily enough I just noticed some ad on the telly last night that I hadn’t seen for a while. It was a young coloured lad in hospital and the male nurse is playing some game about “knees,toes,cheese on toast” (no idea what that’s all about),followed by an appeal for money to help research into whatever ails the unfortunate child…..the updated ad now witters on about what ” a difference your money has made,keep sending it” before showing us current film of an apparently cured coloured lad posing in “shades” while growling and making making “monster” faces at the camera……I’m afraid all that went through my mind,rather than send money,was “just what the fucking world needs…another aspiring architect/rapper/footballer trying out his “hand over da money,Mon” face.

    Surprisingly enough, I won’t be making a donation ( and I still wouldn’t regardless of colour,creed,sex or anything fucking else,come to that).

    Good Cunting,Mr.Cuntflap.

    • On a more serious note…..” at least some humans are capable of empathy.”

      I genuinely don’t “empathise” with people I don’t know (or do,tbh)..they have done nothing for me and probably wouldn’t give a damn were I in need.
      I don’t particularly wish them ill,but I certainly don’t consider that their problems are any of my business or concern.

      • Morning Fiddler, there goes the image I had of you giving up your free time for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Trundling around local orchards and the Fiddler Estate on your tractor with a dozen poor cancer-ridden children in the trailer behind experiencing the simple pleasures of the countryside.

      • LOL.

        I do sometimes take those migrant workers out on the back of the tractor…it means that there’s more time in my extensive orchards for them to work for a pittance while increasing my vast agricultural profits to go alongside my huge subsidy cheque.

        Morning,LL

  4. I don’t think the figures are too far out, according to Mrs Maskinback who is a doctor, having a stint in a local oncology dept.

    I am not decrying the cunting and agree the use of fear is utterly cuntish, but I have had friends in their 40s and 50s afflicted by cancer. My friend in his 50’s is terminal; he has a skull tumour (in his temple) and one at the top of his spine, both inoperable.

    My theory is that the more crowded this country becomes, the more cases we will see. By that, drinking water is being treated too quickly and the need to abstract from rivers (where treated shite is discharged) has something to do with it, along with chemical additives in food (again, needing to process it quickly for a too large population).

    Diesel fumes could also be a factor. This was known as far back as the 80’s.

    • I’ve always considered cancer nature’s “off switch” – yes it’s a cruel bastard (known plenty with it too – did for my mum three years ago) but unfortunately it’s a fact of life and nature needs a way of thinning out the population. Sounds harsh now I type it, does that make me a cunt?

    • 50% of the population developing some kind of cancer. Some are very low grade and easily operable, some are benign. Also throw Lymphoma into this and the numbers increase.

      Yes, it is not at all accurate or right to give the impression that 50% of us will develop cancer sometime during our life and, of those, many will have to take an early bath. I understan dthere are around 100 diffrent types of disease given the generic description of ‘cancer’.

      • Also, more people are living into their 80’s and 90’s compared with 30-40 years ago when someone of 75 was very much at the top end of their life expectancy. Statistcally, the chance of cancer developing as you get older increases.

  5. Interesting nom, good stuff. My mrs was made redundant once a few years ago, only thing she could get temporarily was a homeworking job for a cancer charity – she got given a list of phone numbers every day and had to ring all of them, basically giving this kind of spiel to the poor fuckers who answered.
    Obviously the aim was to convince them to part with their cash….. she got a gobful of abuse from about 50% of the people who answered and weren’t inclined to stump up (I’d be the same with a polite but firm “no thanks and don’t call back” but the vitriol she got from some was truly breathtaking).
    But the worst was from the bosses, one of whose names I still remember to this day (bitch – all of them were female for some reason) who basically ran the operation like Mexican drug lords, if you didn’t make your targets you were harangued mercilessly to the point of verbal abuse.
    Mrs did this for about two months, to the point of it affecting her health; final straw came when she put the phone on speaker and I listened in to this slag of a boss reprimanding her for not duping enough suckers, I took over the conversation at that point and made it clear in no uncertain terms that my mrs was no longer in the employ of these cunts.
    So I know from experience that most (not all – must be some good ones) of these “charities” are run with as much human feeling as a Chinese sweat shop; no empathy, no concern for anything other than cold hard cash. Cunts.

  6. Got to say 3 out of my 5 family members have had it, one of which didn’t make it. You are on the money. They do scare the shite out you this way. The reason I say that is. The rest of us and extended family were advised to have no end of checks etc….This was not an option. Given the all clear fuck all follow up’s have been done since despite being told it was a 6 monthly thing from now on. When asked about it got told you’re too young for those checks etc……Cunts.

  7. The government already steals money out of my pocket to give to charities I don’t agree with . So bollocks to them. Also there is virtually no medical research in this country thanks to the EU. All medical breakthroughs happen in the states. So these graspng cunts are getting fuck all from me.
    Cunts.

  8. Lost my mother and 3 very close friends to cancer. The search for a cure should be important but not used as a cover for the cause or causes.

  9. Clive on cancer:

    “Without cancer we wouldn’t have a way to die, would we? Fucking good of God not to torment us with being eternally young and being able to fuck everyone. No! He gave us this great gift of fucking cancer, that’s very kind. I wouldn’t have thought of that if I’d been creating the universe, would you? Bung in cancer? No, I’d have left that out.”

  10. Tragically, I lost my grandmother on the day of her 100th birthday.

    Nothing to do with cancer but was particularly upsetting as we were only half way through giving her the bumps….

  11. Lost my broth in-law to pancreatic cancer – now that’s a cunt
    Then on a daily basis have to watch methadone junkies getting their “ fix”
    Now in “ sugar free” ( I shit you not )
    I know it’s not a rational thought but he was worth 20 of these drug addled Cunts

    • Sugar free? That’s absolutely superb.

      The one thing I never picture when thinking about heroin addicts is that they might be weight conscious given none of them ever eat fucking food and all weight about 6 stone.

  12. A brilliant, well-timed cunting for this and all associated ‘cancer makes profit’ companies like Cancer Research (most of it is spurious and lots of it corrupt) – well done – emotional blackmail is its main attack mode – fuck of cunts

  13. Cancer is a can of can’t. When my nana died of it, I was very sad. I was a child at the time. She never drank alcohol or smoked.
    I have good memories of her.

    The scaremongering and the people that promote such a thing is even more can of can’t-ish.

  14. I have said it a few times but I don’t really believe Cancer Research (or whatever they call themselves) truly want to find cures for some or all cancers, because once they do find a cure then the moneypot will begin to dry up.

    So they always keep banging on about being close to finding a cure, but “we need more funds!” But this has been going on for decades, and exactly how much money have they garnered in all that time?

    Moreover they won’t give you an exact total needed because if it was something like a billion what would stop the government handing over just that, job done! And even if the government did hand over a billion don’t be surprised if CR said “Oh, well actually it’s still not enough. Please, sir, can we have some more?”

    Just like those charity appeals for starving cunts in Africa, it is never ending; and all they want is your money to pay the CEOs, investors, shareholders and other bigwigs, while only a very small percentage actually goes to the boffins in the laboratories.

    Quite frankly you’ve got more chance of being stabbed to death (especially in Londonistan) than catching a terminal cancer.

    • The cunts at Cancer Research UK don’t NEED any laboratories because they don’t do ANY research at all.

  15. I agree, Techno.
    I volunteered, because it’s a good thing to volunteer, for a cancer charity. It’s a good cause.

    I become quite angry with the boss in the shop, though. Not because I discovered she was being paid but because she said she wouldn’t do it without being paid. That forks me right off!

  16. The only charity that is linked to cancer that I give to, is my local hospice.
    The people who work their are angels, my mum died in the hospice from cancer 8 years ago. If I have anything of use I don’t need, I always take it to one of their shop.
    Plus I’ve picked up a couple of real bargains in the shops.

      • Not really, all those who work at my local dumpit are poles/latvian or whatever, I know after people have left they snaffle anything worth having.
        Was told by an ex employee when the Van’s come to collect clothing, they’re like seagulls trying to bag anything decent.
        I might as well let it go to something worthwhile, also I only ever heard local accents in the hospice when I visited.
        That gave me some piece of mind knowing my mum was terminal, heard horror stories about old folks homes round my way. Especially when they employ people from the dark continent.

    • Absolutely agree, the nurses and staff in the hospice my mum was in were unbelievable, angels is a cliche but true in this case. Shining examples of humanity.

  17. I’ve never smoked but I’m sure I’m going to get a dose of the old cancro maligno as our grease ball spaghetti chomping cousins call it. both parents have had it and survived but one of these days im
    expecting the arrival of a lump on my bollocks . Oh well c’est la cunt.

  18. I was always one to scoff at the big pharma conspiracy theorists who declared that cancer is indeed curable and they are hiding this drug technology, as they are making far too much money from treating cancer to release the cure, but the older I get, the more I am inclined to believe this. It is just the kind of disgusting, cynical, cold shit that these companies would get up to.

    When I was a very young child in the mid 70s, a lady used to come to our door monthly to sell the Cancer Research magazine (a sort of Reader’s Digest type pile of shite) which my Mum religiously bought, doing her bit, so to speak.

    Here we are in 2019……and still this ‘research’ is not much further on. Granted, cancer survival rates are better than before, but the Holy Grail of a complete cure has still not been discovered….

    …..allegedly.

    Frankly, I don’t see what good spewing out these statistics does except put the fear of God into all of us that we could be that one person out of two. Well whoop-de-doo. Thanks a lot for imbibing the masses with that info. As if life wasn’t fucking depressing enough as it is, we must all now suck up the fact that we have to try to dodge a bullet, but leaving it almost entirely in the hands of fucking fate.

    I’m too busy trying to survive everyday life, quite frankly.

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