Nostril Hair

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Is there anything that makes you feel more like a drooling geriatric than spotting a hair dangling from your nostril like a hangman´s rope? It´s creeped up on you and you haven´t noticed it, although everybody else has and thinks you´re about to shuffle off to the geriatric´s home and the great beyond. A dewdrop on the end of the nose is all you need to complete the sad picture.

On a recent trip to the US I spotted a nose and ear trimmer, as it was called, in a drugstore. I surruptiously purchased it and, once home, locked myself in the bathroom and tried it out. It gave off a melodious buzzing sound but made little inroad on the sylvan grove inside my nostrils. Virtually a waste of money.

However, it did bring back happy memories of a nympho girlfriend from earlier days who once suggested I buy her a vibrator. Maybe she was unimpressed by my performance but I gladly did and threw in a dildo for back-up should the batteries fail. Like my nose trimmer, the vibrator was a bit of a letdown but, my goodness, that rubbery dildo was a big success. When she dumped me, she took it with her and left the vibrator behind.

Nominated by Mr Polly

36 thoughts on “Nostril Hair”

  1. Great cunting Mr Polly. I’ve tried these trimmers without success so I’ve finally decided to plait my ear locks in to Rasta curls.

  2. Excellent cunting Mr P.
    I’m irritated with the superfluous hair problem as well. Fed up with trimming both nose and ear growth. Fucking pain in the arse.
    Sad to hear your tale about the nympho who dumped you. Bet it was good was it lasted tho!

    • Good nom mr Polly!
      If any consulation after 15yrs together the vibrator left her for a younger woman.

  3. It’s the ear hair gets me, my ears are making me think I’m part fucking Wookie. Not just in the ear but on the lobes and anywhere else on my ears. My eyesight not being what it once was I don’t see it until I put my glasses on and look in the mirror.

    I’m certain that an inch long hairs grow over night.

    Don’t even get me started on the two bushes that now inhabit the place my eyebrows once happily existed.

  4. fortunately my ears are hair-free; but I do have a few nasal hairs, which I tend to pluck out my hand (or tweezers). Certainly stings, and sometimes people might think I’m picking my nose, but at least I don’t have any hairs visible to the world

  5. Patience, Mr. Polly. Next year your nasal forestry will be all the rage. Already in fashion circles snotty whiskers are the new manbun, and the dead eyed skeletal automata on the world’s catwalks will soon be sporting snorkins – like a merkin, but, you know…

    I too have tried a nasal hair trimmer. It attached itself to the first hair it encountered and refused either to cut it or let it go. Most painful. Careful work with a pair of narrow-bladed scissors is the way to go.

    • Like other cunters, I bought a nose and ear trimmer about thirty years ago, it was a Wahl and it was a waste of money. A few months ago, thinking they must have improved the technology, I bought another Wahl. Guess what, they’re still no use. Serves me right I suppose.

      • Snap. Mine came with a clipper kit, also Wahl. The clipper was fine (for the money) though, and I replaced it after several years with the identical unit, now a tenner dearer. The technology, as you say, is unchanged.

      • Until the removable head comes off up your shitbox, Happened to me, had to go to A&E wait 4 days and explain I slipped when I got out of the bath and the toothbrush was on the floor and in a 10 billion to 1 shot got lodged right up my pooper, on the plus side my arsehole is nice and clean 🙂

  9. Looking at that photo makes me a tad melancholy. Willie Stroker has really let himself go.

  11. Aww, its just natural! For some reason as you get old you need furry ears and nostrils full of fluff, not sure what purpose it serves.
    Rather than constantly plucking and preening like some bangkok lady boy just accept it, you old, an unattractive to young birds now why polish a turd?😁

  12. I not only have hair growing out of my ears and nose nowadays but out of my arse as well. I have to make sure I leave no clinker and dingle berries within the lush growth.

    • Yes, those pesky clingons can be a bit of a cunt. Luckily my shower has an adjustable head that I can use to flush the buggers away. However, just make sure you don’t have the pressure too high or you mind end up with an unwanted enema which I very nearly experienced once. Thankfully, disaster was avoided (just).

  13. stuck In traffic one day I idley fiddled with nose and extracted a hair some 4″ long.
    my initial thoughts were it must have been a hair from my wife’s head, this was quelled by something a kin to an electric shock deep in my nasal passage as I un ankered it.
    on nose trimmers, I have one , it came as an attachment with a trimmer.
    so liking to get my money’s worth I gave it a bash.
    Very successful it was to untill the hairs started to grow back.
    A very uncomfortable sensation almost like CS gas but lasting weeks.
    DON’T DO IT!

  14. I use a cigarette lighter on my lug hair..just wave it close enough to singe the hairs out. Nose hair is trickier, I’ve found that a little pair of scissors is the easiest.

  15. Stepdaughter bought me a Philips trimmer (you owe me for product placement chaps) and I tidy up the ears because since I gave up the long haired biker look they can actually be seen, and they look like I stole them from Bungle.
    Don’t have much nose hair and the arse hairs can stay because they would probably knacker the trimmer…

  16. Fine cunting indeed. Was disturbed a few years ago, to encounter a whitish-grey hair hanging out of my hooter, so gamely set about yanking it out. Fuck me drunk with a pineapple chunk – it was like 12lb breaking strain fishing line, eventually twanging out of my nostril accompanied by an audible clack and watering eyes.

    Nostril Hair ? Beware the monochromatic ones…

  17. “Fuck me drunk with a pineapple chunk.” You have a way with words Seymour!
    😂😂😂

  18. I actually have to shave the outside of my nose now. And my arse hair is as lush as Tony Curtis’ head in his heyday. Thinking of having it styled actually.

  19. I have to say it’s not all arse, ears and nose.
    I went for a piss once and discovered a pube that I could easily floss with.

  20. I feckin hate toenails.
    Have to do mine with sparky’s sidecutters.

    So far I am comparatively lucky with hair; still seem to have an ok amount on top of head, not even grey yet; no ingrowing hairs up nether regions.

    However, my inner tube is unspeakable

  21. Just trim it with scissors or rip them out manually. I had to start when I hit 30 (no shit), I get it.

  22. It’s also the fact that said hair hanging from the beak are connected to both your eyes and when tugged on produce serious pain. Cunts.

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