The “Do As I Say”, Health Freak Cunts!
Pisses me off when you see so-called experts bang on about what you should and should not eat/drink. Don’t eat that because it’s bad for you, don’t drink this because you will die an early death; do more exercise, don’t sit on your arse and do fuck all because that is bad for you too!
Quite frankly, I don’t give a shit what these cunts say. Death comes to us all, and if I want to eat ten bags of chips and drink thirty pints of lager in one session then so be it!
I know plenty of health freak cunts who eat all the “right food”, go jogging and live the perfect lifestyles, and still face a good old heart attack at the ripe old age of 25. In the same breath, my grandparents lived well into their late 80s/early 90s while eating/drinking all the “bad stuff” for decades!
So to all those health-freak Nazis, kindly fuck off and die!!
Nominated by Technocunt
Everything in moderation including moderation – which means every now and then you should get completely pissed. Or do lots of Class As and stick your tongue up a girl’s ass if you are Black and White Cunt.
Interesting word to use against Remainers who parrot Establishment bullshit – ‘oikophobia’ – the fear of home…
https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2019/10/13/oikophobia-a-strange-afflcition/
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I’ve been busy on the class A’s all night… Been sticking my tongue up Olga’s ass. I took some time out to read your blog and it was an excellent read.
13
Thoughtful and illuminating as ever.
4
Very enlightening article and I would implore any Brexiteer who is ever accused of being ‘xenophobic’ to shove ‘oikophobiac’ right back at the accuser.
4
I resent self important cunts like Jamie Oliver who set themselves up as gurus on the basis of some tacky Channel 4 low budget shows they made years ago – first he crawled round Anthony Blair followed by every other PM. He has the cheek to lecture us on childhood obesity (THE current obsession of the chattering classes) while Oliver himself finds it harder to squeeze into his corsets. He’s a bit of a porker but that doesn’t stop him.
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There was a backlash against the ox tonged crusader years ago when he started his healthy school dinners, up in Rotherham I think, where the parents gave their kids burgers and chips from local fast food takeaways through the school gates.
11
It’s just a pity the parents didn’t realise that their kids were getting Tariq taxi driver’s nob in their faces for afters.
7
Arrrggh! Don’t mention that name!!!
It has the same effect on me as when the knights of Ni from Monty Python Holy Grail film say “Ni!”
The nomination about his son, Buddy somewhere here on this splendid website.
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That Oliver’s a cunt anyway. What is it with him and that fucking fake italian bollocks?
Don’t even get me started on food and italians…..mama mia
0
A friend of mine…..well she wasn’t a friend, I never even met her but after she snuffed it a friend of mine , well not really a friend just a work colleague (i’m struggling here) who was her cousin (or something like that) told me about her.
She was a health and fitness fanatic , late 20’s , and a member of a scuba diving club. This club went on a scuba diving holiday on some Greek island or somewhere.
Anyway, she got up early one morning, before everyone else, and decided to have breakfast al fresco underneath a tree. She gave her order ( no doubt something healthy) and , while she was waiting the tree keeled over, bonked her on the nut and she fucking died of it!
What the fuck? When your time’s up it’s up and there’s fuck all you can do about it.
True story. I looked it up.
16
Just do what makes you happy as long as your not hurting others by doing it.
I eat what i want when i want,
Do whatever the fuck i feel like,
No guilt or worries, thatll kill faster than eating chips!
Mainly people like yer jamie Oliver, some sleb cunt selling something and sticking their nose in that bangs on about health, just be happy!
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If there is the scent of some money to be made by some finger-wagging seleb on their soapbox then they will be there like a fly on shit. Obesity, drugs, alcohol, gun control, climate change, is there anything they are not an expert on?
13
Morning LL,
You lead a healthy lifestyle?
Im active sue to my work an dogwalking but make no concessions to my diet eat whatever i choose.
My mates gone on a health kick, lost shed load of weight, he and his missus always running, half marathons etc
Asked him what he eats,..oatcakes!
Heated in toaster, no butter just plain,
Dead bland.
Fuck that id rather have the full english and heart attack!
7
I eat what I like Miserable, as CMC said above, all in moderation. I work outside all year doing gardening and some landscaping work so I count that as my ‘exercise’ and fuck going to the gym with all the preening gym bunnies but some of the wimminz would be quite tidy.
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Agreed – all things in moderation because otherwise you can spend your whole life being a boring, miserable cunt eating bland shite day in day out. And then trying to dictate your healthy lifestyle onto others in their usual holier-than-though attitude.
But you know full well they’re not truly happy, hence all the anger and tut,tut tutting when you sink your teeth into a bacon & egg sarnie on crusty white bread and a shitload of brown sauce!
11
There has to be some truth in this cunting. You hear about these never smoked, never taken any drugs, Triathlon participants, vegan types who end up getting cancer or having a heart attack.
Surely it’s NOT healthy to run 4 miles, ride for 6 miles and swim for a 3 miles? That’s as bad as going on a year long class A drug bender.
Nah a bit of what you like is fine, I eat what I want on Sundays and the rest of the week is made up of a couple of veggie days, couple of fish days and try and eat red meat once a week.
It’s all abaaaaht balance, try and get off your ass and walk.
I don’t drink everyday but when I drink once a fortnight on average I drink a lot.
Not trying to advise anyone and couldn’t care less what anyone else decides to do.
In fact drink a pint of beef dripping and go fuck yourself.
15
I work with a bloke who’s in his late 40s and had his first kid about 3 years ago. He took up running when his kid was born. Fair do’s, he said he only does it so he can stick around longer for the kid. However, he runs 10k (6.21 miles in real money) every other day and 5k on the other days.
He’s lost loads of weight and looks healthy but he does look a bit gaunt. I warned him about ‘Jim Fixx’ (not the same bloke as Savile the nonce) the famous keep fit bloke off the telly in America who died while out jogging during his middle age. He was one of those nutters who advocated that it was ok to run 5 or 6 miles every single day, even if you’re over 50. So I had to tell the lad at work to be careful or he might end up in a box like Mr Fixx.
He seemed amazed that this could happen. It’s up to him, but I reckon if he doesn’t have a break now and again he might not be around to see her start secondary school.
I’m no fitness guru mind, but its about time I got off my arse and lost a few pounds. Carefully though as I’m in my late 40s.
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Very true Cuckoo’s nest.
Thats way too much running, everything in moderation. I recently turned 41 and need to lose a bit of weight…easier said than done but I’ll take my time.
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lol Ive been saying that i need to start running again, but that’s been 2 months now and fuck all has happened. Infact eating almost fucking everything has taken hold and it’s a cunt to shrug off.
1
One thing is true though…too much alcohol messes you up.
Whenever I’ve had a proper binge I get the alchy shits… You know those one’s when you think you letting out a light fart… But to your shock a trickle of cottage cheese style shit comes out. This can be a nightmare, especially if it happens whilst sat driving and it get compressed and spread out. So you pull in at the services and clean yourself up after getting rid of the remainder.
The trick is to line your stomach before drinking…so the alcohols hit something yo rest on. Not eating a kebab after.
Piss off.
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Yes B&W the ‘gamble and lose’ farts are the devils work, especially if you cannot take evasive action for whatever reason.
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It’s all the alcohol rotting your guts away. Alcohol is as bad as class A’s in some ways.
8
I wouldn’t say drinking almost a bottle of Rum is lightweight. Usually have a bit of gin before as well. I’m a big cunt so it takes a lot get me drunk.
7
I would Like to cover Justin Bieber in Hagen Daz and lick it off VERY slowly.
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What’s that got to do with Health Lecturing Cunts?
Also you have left the ‘r’ out of Kravdarth in your new name.
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He couldn’t be ‘ased’ Putting it in!
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Homophobe! If I had used Angelina Jolie as my muse you would have said “get in there!” Blatant homophobia…
I have corrected my name change.
Happy now?
Seriously…
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Homophobia… I know naffink abaaaaht it.
Women’s bumholia I am more knowledgeable.
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Yer right BWC, alchol can be bad as class As.
I love a drink but only at weekends as driving every day, and if demands there sometimes work the odd weekend, so dont drink then either.
Although not touched a class A in years, drains the wallet to much for my liking.
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I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, labelled, numbered or lectured to by Health Cunts!
My healthy (or unhealthy) lifestyle choices are my own… Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha……
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If people are too stupid to realise that waddling about with diabetes is related to what they eat there is no point in lecturing the cunts.
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You can get as fit as you want but if you have a genetic problem like me ( Peripheral arterial disease ) nothing in the world will stop it. My older brother has had a triple heart bypass to, this curse was passed on from my mothers side.
I have to watch what i eat but still enjoy a fry up a Curry and the occasional piss up.
I could not live off fucking Ry Vita’s for the rest of my life.
My point is, if it’s in your genes you will get it. But on the other hand if your 22 stone plus, smoke booze and eat fat regularly all the evidence suggests you will be fucked . The chickens always come home to roost.
I envy people that live into their 90’s and have always smoked and indulged themselves all their lives. Quite often though these people have good genes and longevity in their families .
7
Don’t you Cunts put me in the Dead Pool yet.
9
Have you made a will?
If so can I have your house and all your money?
Hurry up and die you old cunt, I haven’t got all day!
3
Can I have the free biro ?
2
As me and the missus were leaving the house an ice cream van pulled up right outside.
She pointed at the van and said “Well..?”
I said “Well what..?”
She said “Well aren’t you gonna buy me one?”..
I said “Don’t be a cunt, you can’t even drive”…..
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It might explain my status as a single bloke that my immediate response would be to look her up and down, laugh and say ‘no way, you fat fucking pig!’
Even if she’s a size 8.
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Quite so. 👍
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Unless your fat with a gun.
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As long as you don’t smoke, and regularly pack in avocados, green veg and Omega 3 in between your bouts of processed shit and a litre of Smirnoff a night, you’ll be fine. That’s my recipe for health, though God knows why I want to continue existing on this doomed revolving ball that is inevitably going to be overtaken by moose limb and Africunt cockroaches, just hopefully not in my lifetime. In fact you could say I’m actively trying to avoid my doom with my aforementioned concoction of toxins, but it’s just not working. Funny that, I’m a first-worlder and I abuse my organs and lymphatic system on a daily basis, yet I’m disease free, unlike those pulse-munching and bison-piss drinking middle-easterners and Africunts.
4
After I was diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago I changed my diet completely, low fat, low salt, low sugar. They said if I controlled my diet then I could get by without medication, and I hate needles, so I gave it a go and it’s been successful. But as others have pointed out, if you don’t have something you like every now and then, life wouldn’t be worth living. I regularly eat honey (sugar), I dink about three pints on a Saturday night (sugar again) and I allow myself one frozen meal a week. Little things that I look forward to so that I won’t be a permanently miserable cunt.
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James F Fixx invented jogging. The cunt died of a heart attack while jogging aged 52. Cunt.
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Can you invent jogging??
0
Agree with those on here about taking it easy with the booze once in middle age.
From the age of about 25 to 45 I got smashed every weekend (and sometimes once or twice during the week). 7 -8 pints of 5% lager the norm in a single session.
Went for my yearly medical last year and for the first time ever my blood pressure was through the roof (wasn’t feeling great either). Had awful roid rage too (haemorrhoid rage). Laid off the booze for two months and it was back down again and the Emma’s fucked off for the first time in years. Coincidence? Possibly, but I take it much easier with the booze now. Three pints and I’m ill the next day now. It’s fucking ridiculous. Doc says it’s because once over 45, your liver can’t break the booze down properly anymore, hence the shakes and nausea after just 3 pints.
I hope they find a cure for this it’s pissing me off.
2
Some cooking shite on BBC1 right now going on about this or that coffee having a lower carbon footprint than a ‘flat white’ (whatever the fuck that is).
Apparently, it’s important to have a diet with a lower carbon footprint, dahling.
Fuck off and bring me a fried panda that’s been flown around the world first on a private jet, and a boiled whale that’s been taken on a trip to the moon and back. I’ll wash it down with five pints of ‘flat white’ that’s been driven from New Zealand in a 60 year old British Leyland truck with a diesel engine that blows out plumes of black smoke and backfires more than Rick Waller after an ‘All you can eat for a fiver’ night at Jamil’s Kebab house.
Fuck off.
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My diet has no carbon footprint at all because I don’t eat coal.
4
All of these reorts and guidelines that getbpushed by the BBC only apply to people like them; sedentary cunts who work in cubicles all day.
Take your phobias of processed meat, fat, salt , sugar, bread and alcohol and jump out the window, you boring fucks.
Let those who want to live dangerously do so, until they get fat. Then, i’m afraid, the GP’s should ask you to cough up some cash.
That would cure the obesity epidemic overnight, as well as culling a few thickies of the underclass.
1
When the stomach empties, you feel hungry. This does not indicate a need for food. It is an evolutionary response to hard times – “is there anything else about? There’s room for it now. Better eat it to be on the safe side.” The sensation can be safely ignored until the next scheduled mealtime. Which should not be so large as to distend the stomach and make it think that’s its real size and must always be filled.
One subsidiary and one main meal daily, no snacking, adequate fibre, a nod in the direction of veg (vitamin supplement if you are like me not all that enthused about curly kale etc), occasional beer or bottle of wine….and so far, so good.
Maybe I should write a book, start a blog, collect Twatter followers, pitch a TV series? About time social influencing headed in the direction of common sense.
4
I agree entirely. Dont tell people what to eat, but when the going gets tough, the fat should lose weight or start paying for treatment.
The doctor, under NHS guidelines, is then free to look at the hyperventilating, tearful mound of blubber infront of them and say ‘squeal , piggy, squeeaall!’
4
I drink or smoke. I used to drink in my late teens and early twenties but I gave up years ago as doctor said it could affect the effectiveness of the medication I’m on.
I don’t begrudge anyone with what they eat.
I don’t eact as healthily as I should, but I don’t gorge myself.
I love food. Live and let live I say. To each their own.
That Mr Oliver can fork right off.
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Agree spoons!
Ive never met a pie i didnt like.
3
Ever had a pie sandwich, MNC?
I used to know someone that would put one of those little meat pies between two slices of bread.
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I have actually Spoons, but even to me thats over overkill!
I make homemade apple pie and
Occasionally cheese &onion,
But you cant go wrong with Hollands meat&potato pies from a chippy!
You a fan?
1
I do love a good pie, MNC. Savoury or sweet, they can’t be beat. 🙂
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The health police and their stats can get fucked.
I still like doing some training but not in a poofy gym but I am very partial to an alcoholic refreshment.
Fuck knows if it’s killing me but health is about some moderation and a shitload of good genes.
The useless condescending cunts in the MSM can get bent.
Good health!!
0
“If you’re huffing and puffing up the stairs you are not going to do well in a fight.”
That’s why I moved into a bungalow.
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So now you’re good in a fight?
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No but he doesnt huff n puff going upstairs.
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Tax on booze, a tax on chocolate, a tax on takeaway food, a tax on fags, but has it made fuck all difference? And if you’re rich what difference does it make anyway?
I bet if there was a tax on wanking my fellow cunters would be well and truly fucked!
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Careful, Techno! They’ll hear you!
They’d probably tax man size tissues and jazz mags next.
1
“Jazz isn’t dead, it just smells funny.”
(Frank Zappa)
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Jazz is new big thing with the yoof!
Kid you not, loads of jazz clubs opening, saw a thing on telly about it,
I tbink its a big danger to mankind than climate change!
You a jazz fan Rtc?
Charlie parker?
Felonious monk?😁
2
Yes I am Mnc… the two you mentioned, though mostly stuff like Soft Machine, Mahavishnu Orchestra, Santana /McLaughlin, and late ’60s /early ’70s Zappa.
Also:
Miles Davis (Bitches Brew era)
John Coltrane (mostly Impulse releases)
Eric Dolphy (Out To Lunch)
Am assuming you’re a fan of sorts…
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Just the jazz mags spoons mentioned.
Not really Rtc, dont hate it or like it either way if im honest.
Liked ‘Jazz club’ on the Fast show…nice.
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Miles Davis On The Corner and Live Evil..some splendid work right there.
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😂 ‘Jazz Club’ was spot on!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8063h3KT6bY
You back from holiday yet Miserable?
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Yes mate, harsh reality and daily grind of work, enjoyed being isolated in the hills for awhile!
Be after Christmas now when next go away, open my presents of you and Blunty then I’ll look for a cottage for a weekend.
Going cottaging!!😁😁
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The only club you two wankers have belonged to is a jizz club!
😂😂
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Dont be impertinent.
This is a serious site, no room for vulgarity.
Walking a fine line Blunt, admins got your card marked son!
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@ Unkle Terry – great stuff!
Will add: Miles Davis At Fillmore (1970) and A Tribute To Jack Johnson.
1
Now Jack Johnson i do know a bit about!
The man must of had the biggest balls in last few hundred years!
A true maverick, macho as fuck, rebel, cheeky monkey and fantastic boxer.
As black guys go ive hundred times more respect for Jack Johnson than nelson Mandela
2
@ Miserable at 8:21pm
Were the Rancheros waiting for you when you got home? Or had Ms Miserable scoffed the lot?
PS: Agree re Jack Johnson.
2
Yes! Hidden them Rtc!
People in this house bit too free and easy when my snacks are lying about!
Had one bag, and yeah still yummy!
Jack Johnson@
I read a book about Johnson and was riveted by it, id seen old footage of his fights, anyway few months ago on PBS America was a documentary about him, a brave tough man, they got him in the end though.
1
Life is life, but sometimes you can just be unlucky.
The doctor looked at me and said I wouldn’t expect someone of your age to be in this condition, You would have to have been 80 and smoked 40 fags a day to do this to yourself.
My advice is when you leave this surgery never light another cigarette.
I took that advice and waited a few months went back to be told that the issue was inoperable (and dont you feel better for not smoking). Not smoking was just prolonging the inevitable, so by taking the healthy choice I could potentially be in pain for longer ( that sounds fab) so I cracked out the pipe and restarted.
Its not just down to diet and life but to an extent your genetic code, My mum is still knocking about, she drinks about a bottle of whisky a day, my father long dead.
2