‘Guys’ and other Americanisms

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GUYS….

No, not that spluttering, bibulous imbecile and frenemy of Sir Nigel, Verhofstadt; not even that once innocent rite of passage pushing an old pram around and saying “Penny for the guy mister?” in best Dick van Dyke,(nowadays it’d just be a front for illegal narcotics and related criminality).

No, I’m talking the every-other-sentence uttering of this word on just about any under thirties TV show featuring vacuous cunts, Soaps, MOTD etc.

And “So”, “Cool” and “Oh My God” (USA) can fuck off too whilst I’m at it.

Nominated by Isaac Hunt

157 thoughts on “‘Guys’ and other Americanisms”

  1. Way to go! Wooo. High five, fistfuck…er, sorry, fistbump, and yo to all you cool/wkd/sick doods out there!

    OMG!!!! Did I misspeak?

    • Radical!!
      Far out , out of sight !!
      Ballpark figure 😡
      Shooting the breeze!! ( grrrrr)
      AMERICANS FUCK OFF and find your own language To bastardize you cunts..

  3. This nom sits alongside yesterdays ‘can i get’ nom.
    Spoken by people who think they are so hip and trendy but almost always are just twats with no original thought of their own.
    Are we on the same page on this, guys?

  4. As a speaker of The Queens English. I jolly well think that these Cunts should Fuck Off.

    Me too, some of the shite people write on here!

  5. What is it about professional golfers-Graham Mcdowell and Rory McIlroy in particular – that has them speaking like septic tanks after spending three days in Las Vegas? Dopey yankified twats really get on my tits.

    • And yet in Portrush this year only leprechauns could understand the cunts when they were being interviewed!

      Way to turn on the accent dude!

  6. Hey guys, lemee just say that I’m totally on message with this awesome post!

    Can I get a like here now?

    Cool!

  7. Guy Verhofstadt would make a great Guy. Sit him on the pavement with a bobble hat on and you’d be sqids in.
    He was very influential in getting the Maastricht Treaty through. Funny that was where Guy Fawkes returned from to blow up the the Houses of Parliament. They ought to substitute an effigy Guy Verhofstadt iin Lewes this year instead of Guy Fawkes. A great English patriot.

    • But you have to admit he does have lovely even teeth.

      The odd ones aren’t up to much though!

      Even better Miles if you could construct the Verhofstadt Guy out of asbestos, that way we get to burn the cunt as often as we want!

    • That’s cunts so full of shit and piss he would put any bonfire out!!
      Imagine trying to explain to a British soldier in WW1 or WW2 vehorstadt ?
      juncker? Tusk? Or the EU?

  9. Guys n dolls!
    I hate yankisms, awesome being a trigger word, not because i hate yanks but because we are Englishmen and you should be happy with that!
    Its like the golden ticket for Willie wonkers factory!
    As the Clash sang “im so bored of the USA”
    Although Donnie Tango made me laugh other day with his “he died like a dog’ speech haha
    Hes my favourite comedian.

  11. A long time ago on a trip to the USA, a waitress came over to the table and reeled out the specials in one breath.
    My mum asked her to repeat the menu, the waitress (A1 customer service) said “What don’t you speak English?”.
    To which my mum replied “We are English, you are not, could you repeat the menu again please?”

  15. Fuck me, fatty Blackford spouts the SAME speech virtually word for word EVERY time he gets up on his piggy trotters in Parliament. And Bercunt always allows him twice as long as any other nonentity MP cunt to say it.

    Change the fucking record you CUNT!

    • At least Heidi Allen is off, standing down at the election due to harassment and intimidation of course, nothing to do with having to face the voters she abandoned to join the SDP in a labour safe seat.

      Her labour replacement is a real gem

    • The Birmingham slag is spouting the same shite, to be raped or not raped, this fucking traitorous bunch are now debating giving a vote to EU citizens in a general election…….they cannot be serious!!!!!!!

      CUNTS

      • Da wimminz MPs have written a letter of support to the awful Miss Megan Marpel wimmin. I don’t believe this is genuine; they hope that by saving the gormless fuckwit, they will, by association, save themselves.

        Nothing like jumping on a bandwagon. Let’s just hope it has a collision in a tunnel, with a petrol tanker.

    • Apologies for my spazness, but I’ve just seen that the cunt Blackford wants 16 year olds and EU cunts to vote in the GE. What the fuck is wrong with this mong? He should be strung up by his bollocks on the nearest lamp-post, then beaten with an iron bar.

      • What you missed: Stella Creasey (Lab) got an amendment through which allows further amendments to be made to the Bill. Now the route is open, not only does the SNP want to, but Steptoe is likely going to table an amendment permitting 16-year-olds and EU citizens to vote*. The government says that this will be impossible to implement before a December 9-12 election (possibly true) and that it will pull the Bill if such an amendment is passed.

        Now groan on…

        *IOW naked gerrymandering.

      • Bercunt shouldn’t allow such an amendment as it is not related to the bill itself. Of course, he’s an uber- cunt, so anything can happen. However, the conservatives can just pull the bill, try again tomorrow and make clear that any twattish amendments and the bill is pulled again.

      • Apparently it’s going to be up to the deputy speaker (Hoyle) to select the amendments to be debated and voted on.

        For what it’s worth, I predict the ‘votes for 16 year olds and EU nationals’ amendments will be lost narrowly, assuming they’re selected in the first place.

      • Hoyle disallowed the cunt amendment. Bercunt wouldn’t have. Hoyle for next Speaker, please!

        It’s through: election on the 12th.

      • Hoyle would be an excellent speaker!
        Seen him filling in for the poison dwarf a few times and has always struck me as an even handed decent chap

      • what I don’t get is why the fuck would you want to fuck up this country even more by letting little cunting 16 year olds vote. My daughter is 16, but there is no way I’d let her vote. And as for fucking EU citizens, well, that would include all the cunting Somalians from Holland. For fuck’s sake.

      • It wouldn’t be possible to have 16/17 year olds in an election in December.

        They let the EU cunts vote in local elections so are actually on the electoral roll.

        BUT THEY CAN FUCK OFF voting in a GE!!!

      • The little muppets will be snowballing, and forget to vote.

        Regular old troopers will, I hope, be out in force.

      • No as I have taken my mother, sister and partner on holiday so I am outnumbered right now. Soon be home and can concentrate on boy stuff — not least the WC final on Saturday! You?

      • About as well as anyone with more than half a brain cell can be in this basket case of a country right now CW.

        I successfully submitted my tax return online this morning, that relieved my chronic depression for a few moments.

        Enjoy your WC final CW.

        Is it rugby or football? As you can probably deduce, I don’t give a rat’s arse.

        ***BREAKING NEWS*** 16 & 17 year olds & EU nationals amendments to bill have NOT been selected!

        (Depression relieved again for a few minutes).

      • Doing tax returns online only makes me more depressed, because I imagine that every time I go back and edit an entry, it signals a red flag to their audit department.

      • The silly cunts are arguing over the 9th or 12th

        If Bojo had proposed the 9th, the parliamentary cunts would have said no it has to be the 12th.

      • I do commiserate RTC — it is so sad that we have such a huge proportion of numpties in this Country …. it’s enough to depress the best of prople.
        It’s Rugby on Saturday — as to tax returns they drive me up the bloody wall! Hate hate hate them. Always get done at one minute to midnight on the last day before a fine. Detest them and the smug tax office.
        On the election I would be pleased if it is really on the way but ………. the conservatives are cunts – even those in the ERG who I rated I now think of as putting party before Country —- they are willing to go for Mays dog turd now it has some sprinkles of glitter and a pretty bow on it !!! Not good enough. Over the next few weeks that treaty will be examined properly and it will be seen to be more or less as bad as Mays deal all bar the shouting. The thing is what is the oxford definition of LEAVE? If we leave then I will be happy —— Mays warmed up rubbish is not leaving. End of. Boris is not going to go for a pact with the BP – he is not going to take the opportunity to ditch the shite treaty and he has let some of the Tory scum back into the party today ………. need I say more?

      • My State Pension took me over the threshold this year so am back to being a net contributor…

      • @ Cuntry Walker.

        Nicely summed up, reckon I go along with all of that.

        As things stand I cannot vote for Johnson or his treacherous EU dictated Treaty. I despise liars and Johnson takes lying to new, unimagined heights in a Conservative Party leader. Completely untrustworthy imo.

        We live in a marginal Con /Lab constituency, so under normal circumstances I would have no hesitation in voting Tory, just because they’re the lesser of the two evils, especially now with Commie Corbyn and his antisemitic hard-left cadre controlling Labour, not to mention those Momentum brown shirts and sundry loonies in the shadow cabinet.

        On the other hand the Tories deserve to have their fucking heads kicked in, for conning the electorate over Brexit if nothing else. Maybe a term out of office might bring them back to their senses…

        Johnson or Corbyn. What an appalling choice. If I thought the Brexit Party stood half a chance in our constituency I’d probably vote for them, but they don’t.

        Hopefully the choice will be a little easier to make in 6 weeks time….

      • Comments in this thread appear to be unaccountably prone to moderation…

        Evening Admin 🙂

      • Yes it’s Hobson’s choice for many RTC – the lessor of two steaming turds. For me if I was in your constituency I might hold my nose if it was a Conservative MP who did not vote for Mays treaty — otherwise I might vote Brexit party just to register my complete hatred of the Labour and Conservative parties. Obviously Lib Dem’s are beyond any reasonable persons thinking.

  17. Was it Churchill who said the USA and England were a land divided by a common language? In any event, as I said in yesterday’s nom, I am sick of being disrespectfully called “guys” or even worse “bud”. It superheats my piss. Fucking cunts.

    And I just want to say, if I may, before I go, that Blackford is an absolute cunt. And I hope all remainer MPs get a kicking at the GE.

  18. It’s all part of the plan to turn everyone into a light brown vegan who only speaks google.
    And orders everything through a robotic speaker that spies on them all day.
    Fuck off.

  20. The traitor Allen spends all these months griping about democracy and cunts didn’t know what they were voting for…..then democracy looms, in the form of an election, and she shits her EU pants and runs away. Typical fucking remoaner whorebag.

    • Funny how all the fucking wankers that flip flopped over Brexit and talked up their version of democracy are all of a sudden leaving politics? Just shows how little faith they really had in the utter bollocks they have been talking for the last 2 years!!
      Soubry, Allen , Rory Stewart and other assorted Brexit deniers are all running towards the nearest rock to crawl under, all using various excuses!!
      Chicken shit cunts on and all ………

  21. A cracking cunting Isaac.
    I hate Amerispeak with all my heart.
    I loathe ‘I’m like totally…’. And ‘my bad’. And ‘you go, gurrrll’. And ‘right on dude’. And ‘check it out’. And ‘way to go’.
    I hate it when they call biscuits ‘cookies’. And sweets ‘candy’. And chips ‘fries’. And films ‘movies’.
    I hate it when they call a brochure ‘a brosh-shurre’, having once been invited by a Barbie doll in a mall in Florida to ‘please peruse our brosh-shurre at your lee-shurre’.
    Most of all I hate it when they turn nouns into verbs; to window, to diarise, to deplane. To deplane, for fuck’s sake.
    My bad, the cunts.

  22. Bravo! What a brilliant nomination. However, my problem with listening to other people speak is that I often find that they use utterly stupid slang. This slang is of course Inglish innit.
    A close friend of mine has started to use the word “Bare” to describe an amount of something or how good something was/is. For example…

    ” BGB, last night the pub was BARE good. ”
    ” I haven’t seen him in BARE time. ”

    This is not acceptable as he sounds like a twat. I do tell him off but he’s a stubborn cunt and thinks it makes him sound like gods gift. Oh how he’s wrong.

    • ‘Randy, Chips in his dads gun closet, and while thats awesome i think hes gonna do something negative?
      Like yeah?
      I said chip the guys are worried after what happened at Joshs house man,
      You need to chillax, hey word up hes coming, whys he wearing a trenchcoat on the sidewalk?
      ‘Hey chip dude hows it hangin..💥🔫

  23. Where does “dude” come from? I have never understood what it means. Is it like “pal” or “mate” or is it “cooler” than that?

  24. Correct:
    At Christmas, At Easter, At the weekend
    On Christmas Day, on Easter Sunday, on Thursday, on my birthday.

    Use ‘on’ for a single day. This is VERY EASY. Don’t be a cunt.

  25. A gay policeman over in America has just been awarded $19m in damages after being passed over for promotion multiple times and told if he wanted to get ahead he needed “to tone down the gayness”. We have to suffer many a cringey American cunt-speak but we are now repaying them with Mr Fiddlers work finally being recognised and going mainstream.

  26. The Americans and Soviets won the war, the Home Islands and Dominions came second. The degradation of Proper English is the result, except on the France 24 news for whatever reason. In saying that one has an immediate and irrevocable disrespect for those in the workplace and public that speak and write as per Americans.

  27. Young work colleague (or should I say co-worker?) :
    “Doing anything this weekend?” (Don’t give a shit just want you to ask me the same question)

    Me: “going to the football tomorrow, then going to the pictures.”

    Young cunt: “pictures?” (is this a foreign language?)

    Me: “cinema” (for fucks sake)

    Young cunt: look of understanding spreads across dumb face. “Which movie?”

    Me: walks away muttering “utter cunt” under breath.

  28. I also try and piss organisations off (especially HMRC) by hand-writing letters in ink. It confuses the fuck out of them. Also, never press a button when offered a choice on a telephone system: just keep quiet – you’ll always get to talk to someone.

    • Once I was listening aghast to a multilayered dot point menu in the phone and I muttered “oh for fuck sake” and the machine immediately said “oh you want to speak to a person! I’ll put you through” true!

  29. Too right Cuntflap, Gandhi was a racist (according to Manchester University Student Union), Canada’s Justin Trudeau loves a bit of blackface and New Zealand elected their version of our own Limp Dumb wet wipe, 2.20 at Uttoxeter, 14/1 shot Jo Swinson.

    • I am rather fond of the words “mother-fucker”, “goddamit” and “fuck-stick” though.

      • Totally agree Harold, i’m a big fan of Yank swearing. So much more idiomatic in my opinion.
        Credit where credit’s due, the cocksuckers.

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