The French (5)

Yep, all of them. Having just passed through there, the very British xenophobic part of me was delighted to confirm that the lot of them down to the last man, woman, child and animal are Cunts with a capital C.

They still have no sense of personal space, simply refusing to move even when they are the only collection of matter that could possibly be in the way. I even watched a dog refuse to move for a human. A fucking dog!

They still take their time about absolutely everything, resolutely refusing to rush. I even witnessed a child nearly drown as his parent was in no rush to save him. By the time the rescue was afoot, only his fingertips were above the waterline.
Beasts. Utterly mindless beasts.

There is still art everywhere, as if it means anything. They still drape themselves over everything whilst smoking as if they are too relaxed even for cancer, and they still mumble their own language as if pronunciation is an affront to their idle nature. Folks blather on about the resistance effort of the French, but all of my personal experience drives me to the thought that it was probably easier than the alternative.

As for all that demonstration against political tyranny – more of the same, it’s just an excuse for another day off work. What France needs is the benefit of a foreign political leadership who won’t think twice about incarcerating any “freedom fighter” who sets public property on fire, who won’t think twice about making public demonstration illegal and who won’t think twice about introducing back breaking physical labour that goes way past a part time 35 hours a week. Work life balance my arse!

Truly shocking.

No small wonder that all those migrants manage to routinely wander all the way across to Calais.
“Look officer – a bunch of vagrant foreign nationals simply wandering at will throughout the land, look!”
“Fuck it, that’s my 35 hours done. Leave it to those pesky Brits.”


Nominated by Cuntflap

85 thoughts on “The French (5)

  1. France? France has nothing to offer me, dont want its smelly food, its shitty beer &wine, definitely dont want its music, i despise france.
    We had the 100 year war with them, battered them at crechy and Agincourt, fought that midget Napoleon, and saved em in ww2.
    We should of joined Hitler in finishing them off!
    Now this might sound like im not keen on pierre frogslegs and thats true,
    Dont want to sound racist but…
    NO, Fuck it! i do!
    Fuck the french and everything french,
    Yes, including french fries!
    And im boycotting french fancies as well.

    • I don’t know. You can take the man out of Brinnington but you can’t take Brinnington out of the man!

    • The Norman conquest
      Anglo-Norman War. 1101
      Anglo-Norman War, 1105 – 1106
      Anglo-French War, 1117 – 1120
      The Hundred Years’ War, 1337 – 1453
      Second Hundred Years’ War 1689 – 1815
      American War of Independence 1774 – 1775 (France aided America)
      Napoleonic Wars

      We’ve always hated the French & vice-versa

      They blamed us for the fall of France in WW2 ; despite the fact the dozy bastards built defences along the German border, only to be ‘stunned’ when the German army simply walked around the side of it.

      The French will always try to shit on us

  2. A pox on the face of the Earth. Mischief makers and snidey Cunts, totally untrustworthy and a thoroughly bad lot.
    Fuck them all.
    Good afternoon.

  3. The only decent Frenchmen were Pierre Pumpy-Trousers and Inspecror Clouseau. The rest are cunts.

    Fuck off.

    • Afternoon everyone.
      You put me in a panic then MMCM,
      Id forgot Closeau! But then remembered that Peter Sellers was English like all good things on earth.
      Im currently purging the kitchen of anything french or suspected french,
      Dijon mustard? In the bin.
      Shes getting told when she gets home,
      No French shite!
      When im eating my snails tonight i want daddies sauce!

  4. Joan of arc was a mucky little slag who got what she deserved.
    I think it would be a great idea to commemorate the date of her death every year, by burning alot more French cunts at the stake.

  5. Do you mean French or Parisian?

    The same could be said of the English Vs the (faux) Londoners.

    Most Parisians I’ve had dealings with truly are cunts, but most French I’ve had dealings with – away from their capital – have been decent, ordinary folk just like us.

    • The women are decent and, in my opinion, are miles above ours. They dress up, sound magnificent, aren’t overly made-up, and are dirty as you like.

      Everybody else n Frogland is a cunt.

    • Must agree Rebel. I have had some great holidays in France over the years away from the big cities. I’ve probably toured much of the country.

      • Well you shouldnt encourage them Bertie, giving them your tourist euros!
        Go the scottish Highlands instead!
        Go Northumbria! Fiddler will put you up for few week, go wales!
        Go anywhere but France

      • I’m in the Highlands as I speak, far from the madding crowd. A week without having to deal with road rage, migrants and switching off the Brexit. Beer for breakfast if I want to, all good……. Except it’s pissing down.
        Almost perfect. Highly recommend it.

      • See Bertie! Robs in the Highlands not quaffing wine and eating horses.

        The Daughters boyfriend is from kent but lives in south of France where his parents run a fishing lake with chalet, asked to go for a holiday to meet his parents, not a chance.

  6. We could do it in Dover! Big bonfire with Joan dummy like guy fawkes on bonfire night!
    So they can see it from Calais!
    Laughter carried by wind across the channel,
    “Oi Marcel! We’re burning Joan!💥👿

      • I know but we will keep burning her!
        Maid of orleans bonfire dover
        Entry £3
        Oaps £1
        Refreshments on sale all welcome!

      • Better to burn fucking Macron. Perhaps the gillets jaunes or whatever the fuckers are called will.

  7. I watched a film the other night where Michelle Dotrice (Fuck me,she was smart then) got murdered while on a cycling holiday in rural France….it reinforced everything that I’ve ever thought of the French….sly,cowardly,anti-British, sexual miscreants….good film though.

    • I’ve been to Paris a few times for the racing and on a rugby tour. Would be a lovely place if only you could get rid of the Parisians and assorted “cultural enrichers”. Some of the people in the bits away from Paris didn’t seem quite as dreadful as the Parisians.

      The Gallic Rooster is a Cunt that needs it’s neck wrung and then a bit of Paxo stuffing shoved up.

      • The Gallic rooster is a twat. Standing up to its neck in shit the whole time, always crowing.

        I believe French farms have a cock-box on the gate-post.
        It’s a sort of galvanized funnel; you stick the bird in head first, and whack its head of with a sharp implement. drain into a bucket for the Coq au Vin.

        I’d like to see Macron suffer the same fate. Snivelling little runt. Let’s remember that he said France would probably vote to leave if they had any chance of a Frexit, so, as others have said, not all frenchies are bad. But I agree that Parisians are too far up their arses.

    • Not Frank spencers missus?
      Oh no, after everything she had to put up with as well, then ends like that?
      Where was Frank?
      Stick in hedge in comic fashion?
      Evening Dick

    • I think I’ve seen that one. Wasn’t it a dodgy French copper that bumped her off in the end?

      • That’s the one. It was on the old film channel. Just looked it up “And soon the darkness”. (1970)

      • Michelle Dotrice in cut down shorts and her blouse knotted at the front suggesting her firm bosom beneath.

        Ohhh Betty!

    • Typical lazy french bastards, had to cast an Englishman as the copper as guaranteed the lazy French actors couldn’t be bothered to attend an audition either too drunk, still lunchtime or just too busy rummaging in their trousers.

      Did enjoy the film though.

  8. Can’t completely agree with this cunting.

    I had a lovely French teacher in Secondary School.
    She used to have the buttons on her blouse undone just slightly too low.

    I feel it ignited my enjoyment of lovely French Women like Eva Green and Audrey Tatu. I would be happy to let both of them sample my saucisson.

    Quite a lot of French men on the other hand seem to be smug, slimy, twats.
    They always look so please with themselves. Sarkozy and Macron to name but two.

      • And two of my favourite books were written by a Frog:

        ‘The Outsider’ and ‘The Fall’ (from whence Mark E Smith took the name of his band).

        Both by Albert Camus.

        Sartre was no slouch either. Hell is other people…

      • Talking of slouching RT what did you think of Rees Mogg lounging on the front bench? Terribly disrespectful many are saying. I wonder do you sit up straight when typing your posts?

      • Evening Miles.

        Tbh, I couldn’t give a fuck about J R-M lounging on the front bench. Heard it mentioned on the news. In what context did this gross transgression take place?

        Yes, I always sit up straight when I type my posts. I suffered considerable back trouble in my 30s & 40s so cannot afford to slouch about etc.

        Hoping this finds you and Mrs Plastic and Willow in fine fettle.

        PS: Evening MNC.

      • Evening Rtc, hope your well mate?
        Watching Boris getting a beating in commons,
        I quite like Rees Mogg he reminds me of jarvis Cocker.
        Just had fishermans pie &chips (both made in UK) and it struck me that i do trust a single one of them, not one.
        Theyre a shower of shite and to much in Brussels pay to ever give it up.
        Didnt spoil me tea though.

      • Moggy does this often because he’s 6’6″ tall and it allows his honourable colleagues to see which cunt directly opposite is spouting more piss and shit.

        So rather than being disrespectful, it is an act of courtesy towards his fellow backbenchers.

      • I wonder if the gentleman was having his regular post-prandial wank.
        I do hope not; I wouldn’t like to have to clear up the mess if Thornpiggery and Flabbott did a copycat.

      • Stop spoiling my bigotry please, im enjoying myself!
        Right about where the Fall got their name.

      • Marillon Cottillard
        Sophie Marceau back in the 90s
        Emanuelle Béart in her younger days.

      • You dirty number 6! I too have had the hots for Alizee since the early 2000s. Shame she got wed and covered in ink. Have to admit tho that if it wasnt for my kids watching the music channels back then, i would never have known about her.

    • You have a strange taste in women Harold,

      Googled them up and all I could think of after finding pictures of them was Nosferatu, you know pale skin mad stare and weird eyebrows.

      Each to their own I suppose

  9. As far is I can tell, the French are universally despised. CF is spot on about the 35 hours a week, half of which is worked while pisses up from the lunch time bottle of wine.
    I was once on business in Perpignan and was gonna buy some perfume for Mrs CnR. I didn’t have cash so went to pay by card, only to be told they didn’t take Visa. As I left the shop, there in the window was a visa sign.
    Cunts, the lot of them (except

  10. In the words of the late Terry Thomas the french are an ” absolute shower” and in need of the same. I know I’ve mentioned it before but the behaviour of the dirty treacherous bastards in the Falklands war was disgusting, they hate us and that’s fine by me, 2nd rate soldiers 1st rate turncoats and the shitehawk grieve is part frog by all accounts says it all really, suprised the river siene doesnt turn red once a month so big a cunt is the whole nation.

  11. In my very humble opinion, the frogs are tossers.

    They hate us, so I in turn I hate them for hating us. Yes, I may be a childish twat, but when it comes to the French my tolerance level is in minus figures. I just cannot help coming back to the fact that we bailed their arses out as part of the allied forces in 1944. This monumental sacrifice and effort and what do we get for that?

    A lot of drivel from their Premier about our language being ‘distressing’ and pathetic criticisms of everything from our food to our sense of dress. Their air of superiority is vomit-inducing.

    I can think of far nicer nationalities in the world and far nicer places to travel to. i’ll stick to them, thanks very much.

    • It’s just like this country Nurse. The cunts are the politicians. Just scratch the surface and you find real people. The populations of Normandy and Brittany are generally still very grateful for the help they received from us.

    • Nurse your opinion isnt humble, but informed!
      As someone who specializes in being childish and francophobic i absolve you of any guilt, its our duty to hate the french!
      Please dont be swayed by the little traitors on here who when they think know ones looking are straight across the channel, beret on, string of onions round the neck, kissing both cheeks(my all time pet hate) and smelling of cologne & garlic.

      • “Kissing both cheeks” – too right, MNC. Far too “European” for my liking, I deliberately kiss any female relative/ friend etc. on one cheek, and get great satisfaction when they’re left proffering the other cheek for the expected second kiss. Not British.

    • They also seem to have a bizarre attitude to medication and nursing; obsessed with sticking things up their arses, I believe.

      As for Vienna and Berlin as Four-Power occupied cities post-WWII, nobody had ANY respect for the French.

  12. The production of foi gras is up there with whaling, bear baiting and bullfighting as a cruel despicable abomination. Are there any EU rules on animal welfare?

  13. Send all the fucking remoaners over there. They love Europe so much they’ll have a great time.
    I hope they all drown in their own shit.

  14. Is Kier Starmer replacing John Humphreys on radio four? The oily heap of shit seems to be on there every morning spouting his crap. This alcoholic looking motherfucker has only one mission. Stop Brexit. He is the shadow Brexit Secretary, whose job it is to make sure the will of the people is carried out, not to twist and interpret it to suit his fucking agenda. Cunt.

  15. Vive la France! I love the place, well most of it. As a Scot I recall with pleasure the Auld Alliance when we fought alongside the French against the English. We also provided the French kings with their personal bodyguards – La Garde Écossaise. Mind you I´m not sure this admiration was reciprocated after the commander of the Scottish Guard unfortunately killed the man he was supposed to protect, King Henri II, in a joust.

    ISACers will no doubt be unsurprised to learn that Charles de Gaulle was of Scottish descent. But before you slag him off for ingratitude over the War, don´t forget he vetoed UK entry to the Common Market. By saying “Non”, de Gaulle was indirectly the first Brexiter.

    • Charles de Gaulle who hated (was envious of) England though where Le Coward Grand scurried and sought sanctuary after his country surrendered (sans une shot being fired,,n’est-ce pas?) and who Churchill described as resembling “a llama caught photographed in a bath”?

      Ohh, that courageous fellow.

  16. The French are a bunch of cunts, I think we can all agree on that. But are they worse than the Germans? Some would have said it was the Nazis who were cunts while the ordinary Germans were ok. I always had a soft spot for the Dutch, but I found a few I didn’t like when I went to Amsterdam. My globe-trotting days are over now, I don’t need to go abroad to find cunts. There are plenty of people to hate right here in this country.

    • I ain’t got no problem with the french or the Germans or pretty much any other average European, if the french put their interests first fair play to them. Mostly I have a problem with the shower of shite in parliament who are British or at least claim to be.

      One things for sure, if the French voted to leave the EU and their political class played them like ours has played us the French would be out protesting and fighting to force their government to honour their vote.

      The leave voters have been conspicuously absent from the streets on the whole whilst the remainer invertebrates have fought their corner.

      If you don’t like the french you can stay out of France, right now I’m deeply disappointed in the British or as many of the Scots and Welsh hate us anyway I’m depressed by the English.

      The British bulldog is dead and the pussies that have replaced it don’t deserve to inhabit this Island.

  17. The nation that gave the world the Mobylette moped.
    One of the most evil, cantankerous, treacherous, contraptions ever to befoul the Queen’s Highway.
    I’ve just got one of the repellent little beasts running and roadworthy for a vintage bike enthusiast who thinks they are “cool” and “retro chic” (ugh!)
    He won’t be so smug when the Ecofascists ban 2 stroke oil…

  18. These garlic munching odious collaborators capitulated at the 1st sign of the Bosch. Vichy Petanist scum had to be told to slow down in deporting my tribe as they were more ferocious than the SS.

    Utter cunts.

    Take your onions, your Sachs Distel records, your granny fucking president and your EU loving government.

    Fuck the lot of em.

    And Corbyn is a scum cunt.

  19. Jesus Cuntflap dont go all ‘ebony&ivory’ now!
    You cunted em, we’re all ready to spill gallic blood!
    If youd been at Waterloo youd say
    ‘They make lovely pastries though, care for a croissant?”
    No backtracking! Fix your bayonet,
    Wait for it……CHARGE!!!!

    • Hold fire!
      Is that Bertie Blunt over there?
      It is! Hes eating croissants with the french!
      And his bleeding parrot!!

      • Talking of French birds (Le Perroquet de Monsewer Bertie) and Foie Gras,

  20. Rumour has it, the French army have a unit of female snipers, who use their armpits for camouflage….

  21. It’s true they do stink… We had a few French students stay at our house. Every single one of them would never take a shower and they were all arrogant cunts.
    When one woman left after a month we went in her room and I thought someone had died in there.
    She had left a pile of used jam rags under the bed . Dirty fuckers all of them.

  22. My French teacher used to tell me I was really thick.
    And believe me, when she’s straddling you in detention after school, that some compliment for a fourteen year old lad….

  23. Never trust the French
    They’re a filthy race
    They fight with their feet
    And fuck with their face

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