The English ‘National Anthem’

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A right royal, on yer feet cunting for the English National Anthem.

Just watched England v Wales rugby Union match and it’s about time somebody did away with the dirge they play for England sports teams. Apart from the fact it’s the British National Anthem and that why should anybody pay homage to the right royal scrounger, we the English need our own anthem.

Gobshites

Nominated by Crusty Flaps

53 thoughts on “The English ‘National Anthem’”

    • Good Morning Everyone

      I have long been saying that. Those of a left of centre, remain position have no answer to it.

      • Morning Wanksock.

        Sir Nigel made precisely the same point to some aggressive black woman during the 2016 referendum debate, haranguing him about “hating people like me”.

  3. English nationalism is a dirty word these days, tantamount to a “hate crime.”
    What would the words be to this anthem? Something along the lines of………

    Welcome all to this country
    Help yourself
    Trash us, insult us, abuse us
    How can we lick your foreign arses

    Sorry, very soon you will be able to see, courtesy of the foreign broadcaster, the BBC, the Last Night of the Proms. When they play “Land of Hope and Glory” count how many St George’s flags you see and then compare it with the number of foreign flags and that blue starry shitrag.
    National anthem? Don’t make me laugh.

    • The Last Night of the Proms is worthy of a dedicated cunting all of its own. The latter-day appearance of the EU flag particularly sticks in my throat but I’ve always found the stupid knee bending / banger exploding/ ticker tape /flag waving codswallop. It’s Islington on a night out as directed by some sweaty cunt in a white jacket, brandishing a stick and that’s particularly irritating. There will no doubt be some particularly nauseating pro-remain speech this year. Good job I won’t be watching.

      Land of Hope and Glory is merely a reminder of better days, when we had hope and were glorious. The only piece that is any good is Nimrod. Our national anthem should be Johnny Reggae as performed by Jonathan Queen

    • Yes well in the eastern antipodes some hundred odd years ago some wizened old schoolmarm penned the dirge “for those who come across the sea we’ve boundless plains to share” which somehow became the Oz notional anthem; and the usual mix of demographics are arriving in droves and boundlessly sharing our plains and indeed cities houses and benefits too on the taxpayers fucking tab.

  4. God Save the Queen for the British national anthem.

    Land of Hope and Glory for the English national anthem ( a tough call between that and Jerusalem).

  6. Don’t worry,the EU will soon tell us what our new vassal state anthem will be.

    Fuck Off.

    • The Duke of Porchester has been in touch mumbling something about ” Thank Heaven for little girls”….don’t know if it was a suggestion for a new anthem or just a general observation.

      • Mr Fid, do you have a more exalted title, such as Thane of Lindisfarne or Guardian of Hadrian´s Wall? Are you a Member of the Garter? If so, I apologize for my faux pas in not using the appropriatetly reverent form of address. I trust you will not set the Hounds on me although you would be in your seigneurial rights, such as deflowering any virgin on her wedding day, to do so and show who is máster.

        I am also curious about your accent. Is there such a thing as posh Northumberland accent or do you launch your venonomous commands and insults at the unwashed invaders in their camper vans with their fold-up tables and Jamie Oliver picnic campers stocked with sophisticated fare like After Eight mints, boil-in the-bag Beef Wellington with Tofu and mousetrap Camembert from Waitrose, in a standard “yaah yaah” upper class twit bray? Or do you have a low class Boys from the Blackstuff Geordie sputter?

        I always visualise you as the Headlass Horseman from Sleepy Hollow galloping through the night and decapitating those who displease you, (See link). This is one of the reasons I steer clear of Northumberland.

        http://www.yorkmix.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/sleepy-hollow-headless-horseman.jpg

      • I have several accents,Mr.P. I have my Braying Chinless Wonder,my Northumbrian- burr farmer,my straight from the backstreets of Byker and,if necessary,my hint of Scottish or Irish. It all depends on who I’m talking to and what I want off them.
        You may avoid Northumberland,but I don’t avoid Scotland…you may be sitting in the park one day enjoying your bottle of Bucky and deep fried Creme Egg when you hear ” Damn Plebians” delivered in an accent reminiscent of a schizophrenic ventriloquist’s dummy….and you’ll think to yourself…” Fucking Fiddler”

      • Creme Eggs. How sophisticated. Now that is an idea. So is the prospect of meeting Northemberland´s finest but I warn you my welcome depends on the circumstances. If I´m in Princes Street Gardens eating a haggis sandwich and reading The Scotsman sitting on a bench bearing my family plaque and feeling Miss Brodieish, polite and middle class it could be very civilized indeed. We could even retire to Jenner´s for high tea Mr F at my expsense. Rest asssured you would not be expected to spend a wee bawbee. I´m sure your will love your personal piper I will resrve to stand alongside and play you a soothing selection of braw Scots airs.

        However, if I am hanging around the Thistle Bar in Bailleston near Glasgow on a Saturday night celebrating Celtic´s latest drubbing of Rangers by jeering at passing knuckle-dragging bluenoses and throwing the remains of my fish supper at them then my welcome could be rather brief. However, you will be invited to indulge in a bit of harmless aggression with the Huns, as we affectionately call them, with their knives, razors and union flags. (They usually leave their brains at home.) Having a Hotspur- like Fiddler by my side – with the hounds, of course, although I warn you they might catch rabies when they savage the Orange bigotted lumpenproletariat – would be a great help.

    • The way things are going it will probably be the Funeral March.

      Cunts.

    • It will be ‘Ode To Joylessness’.

      After last night’s remoaner coup the EU is pretty much guaranteed to get its Vassal State Treaty imposed now.

    • Jerusalem!!! why have a god bothering hymn about a foreign place for OUR anthem.Doesn’t make sense.

      Gobshites!

      • Yes we can still have the old ones – Land of Hope and Glory, Nimrod but we need a new Anthem for the times. I would vote for The Cheeky Girls- ‘Touch my Bum’. See you’ve got our Eastern European compatriots included with the girls from Romania. Gays would feel at home with ‘touch my bum’. Trannies would be comfortable with – ‘We are the cheeky girls, we are the cheeky boys’ whichever one you identify as? Perfect for the new modern era.

  9. There will be a new edict either from the EU or the Far Left (read Labour) – any mention of the English flag of St George, the Union Flag, the English national anthem … in fact any mention of the word “England” will be banned on pain of Flabbott sitting on your face for 24 hours!

    This is so not to cause offence to anyone not English and/of of a snowflakery disposition.

    The word “England” is racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic etc etc, and therefore must be expunged from every day language.

    That day will happen the way we’re going on!

    • Hopefully the Scots will fuck off and then we wont have listen to them fucking complaining about the English. Wales may follow but I doubt it.
      England should have an anthem, maybe include words like….

      ‘If you dont like England fuck off’

      Racist and Proud!!!

  10. Until Soros, Merkel and Macron are assassinated – and yes, I really would love to see that happen – nothing is going to change. As for the UK parliamentary quislings – FUCK YOU you CUNTS. I hope you all get AIDS and cancer.

  11. Got to be Jerusalem. Always makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. Epic piece of music.

    • Greetings CC
      Check out the Emerson, Lake and Palmer version. Very faithful to the original but has a bit more electricity!

    • Imagine that being played before a World Cup final (if England make it that far again that is). What a great image.

  12. All it takes is one complaint that the word England makes someone feel ‘offended’ and will be banned along with any old WW 2 films or footage of the ’66 world cup.
    Owen Jones will arrange a march to get Land of Hope and Glory banned as it is a tory/nazi/ far right song and is against ‘the people’.

  13. I have always thought that God Save the Queen is a dirge that also excludes patriotic republicans and atheists.
    Wales and France have stirring anthems. South Africa’s is good too.

    The hooray Henrys seem to use Sweet Chariot. It used to be a sort of mimed wanking song in Wales in my day. Appropriate I suppose.

  14. Completely agree with your nom CF
    It’s always annoyed me that we are always stuck with GSTQ !! Fucking nonsense……
    off topic but relevant to the last few days….
    My wife is a trade unionist and lifelong Labour Party member, yesterday her and secretary both left the party!!
    Why? Although she was a marginal remain voter she actually Believes in democracy and is sickened by steptoe and that cunt mc donnells. Posturing and blocking of Brexit, and of course all the labour leave MPs who have consistently voted against their constituents wishes..
    She was a staunch labour supporter Not anymore!!
    Wonder how many others feel the same way?

  15. Raining Blood by Slayer.
    Or Hammer Smashed Face by Cannibal Corpse- it’d be fun watching all those cunty football supporters try to sing along……

    • God i loved the pistols!
      Youve got my vote, they changed music forever and they changed me forever.
      Wish i was young, wild, angry and full of attitude again, sigh.

  17. As the largest of the 4 nations, in terms of area, population, economy and contributions, we have no say, nor any right to an identity because that’s “waycist” isn’t it.

    Besides why do we need a national identity when we’re told that ours is made up of so many individual identities from the cultural gift of diversity?

    Isn’t that enough?

    —-

    P.S. I’m with Isaac Cunt, Elgar’s Nimrod for me every time.

  18. Good cunting but why the fuck are you watching rugby? Are you a fat, balding, middle-aged loser or just a bufty?

    • Prepare to be enlightened by Mr Dick Fiddler.

      He may or may not call you an uninformed pleb and/or cunt – depending on who served his breakfast in bed this morning

    • Because I used to play it and is far more entertaining than poofball.You’d probably not understand the laws of the game so stick to yer overpaid nancy boy lager lout sport.

  20. It’s ok to have a national anthem but sometimes the occasions when it’s played seem inappropriate to me. What’s the point of playing anthems before a professional boxing match? Everyone there knows the nationality of the boxers, and they’re not there to represent their countries, they’re there to win and make money. Same goes for Formula 1, why play the national anthems for the first three finishers? Lewis Hamilton isn’t representing Great Britain, he’s representing his fucking self, and Mercedes.

  21. The National Anthem should be the old Colditz theme tune…
    Great to play at Wembley and a big v-sign to all those remainer knobends and those fuckpigs in the E cunting U…..

  23. It really just needs a better tune. Some of the words could go, but we’re going to need the last verse in some form –

    Lord grant that Marshal Wade*
    May by thy mighty aid
    Victory bring
    May he sedition hush
    And like a torrent rush
    Rebellious Scots to crush
    God save the King

    * In charge of pacifying the Highlands after the ’45

  24. Always thought the German and US Anthems are good ones. Way things are going in the UK the new anthem will be some shit by Lilly Mong with Gary Linecunt on backing vocals.

  26. I personally hate our dreary national anthem. I dont really care if her Maj’ lives or dies.

    I nominate Hearts of Oak, or Everything counts by Depeche Mode.

    • One black one
      One white one
      And one with a bit of shite on
      And one with a fairy light on
      To show him the way.

      Pretty all-inclusive, and most of us feel we’ve been well and truly shat on over the last few days.

      Four and twenty kiddies
      In Abduls taxi fleet
      And when the trip was over…

      This is a new form of non-rhyming verse. It’s called a Hubbard.

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