Cilla Carden

I wish to submit for the interest of the denizens of the award-winning website ISAC, Perth resident Cilla Carden.

This waste of space – who is a vegan and a massage therapist (whatever the fuck that is) – has taken her neighbours all the way to the Supreme Court (like a Crown Court in the UK) because she can smell their barbecue when they cook meat. She has also objected to the smell of cigarette smoke and the sound of basketballs being bounced. She has claimed her neighbours are deliberately (!) sending the smells her way.

“It’s been devastating, it’s been turmoil, it’s been unrest, I haven’t been able to sleep,” she said.

Please, just fuck off.

Nominated by Lord Cunt’s Mate de Cunt 1st Earl of ISAC

80 thoughts on “Cilla Carden

      • I object the to O2 she’s using up and the extra entropy she’s creating. It’s the heat death of the universe man, you don’t respect entropy bitch cunt.

  1. Christ you can tell just from the pic that she’s a sour-faced zealot. Nutty as her nut rissoles would be my guess, the whinging cunt.

  2. Fair dinkum cobbers, I never realised the ro steaks on the barbie were causing this sheila so much distress, I just sat on the porch tugging on a durry and I feel bad for any distress I have caused her.

    Time for a compromise in the spirit of good neighbourly relations I think. I could cut down the bbq’s to 5 days a week and smoke at the back of my yard if she will wear a bag on her head outside of her house, I’ve caught sight of her a couple of times and I can tell ya all it’s not fucking pleasant.

  3. Of all the places to kick off about BBQ’s – Oz!
    It’s like denying the second amendment to a yank, forbidding him from turning his firearm on to a nosy neighbour.

  4. I heard about this case on the radio the other day,the court chucked it out.At least the Aussies have some common sense not like our lilly livered pc correct courts.If you don’t like BBQs then what are you doing in OZ you minger.
    Gobshite!

  5. All veggies take note. You could turn out looking like this woman if you continue with such unnatural practices.

  6. At least the courts in Oz show common sense, they’ve told the cunt to fuck right off. (Or words to that effect).
    I wonder what would have happened in the UK if Mohammed had complained about the smell of bacon and eggs cooking.

    • That day will come rest assured!

      The complainers and the offended will be seeking some crowdfunding from social media, and then trotting off to the High Court to say how traumatic and intolerable their lives have become because some cunt next door is eating a bacon butty; or a packet of smoky bacon crisps!

      Next step, some letterbox will be offended by people speaking English!

    • The actual transcript says “Ms cunt- features’s claim has not been upheld, and we hereby advise the minging harpy to fuck right orf”.

      Shit that was a tricky possessive apostrophe.

  7. Massage therapist? That’s a prozzie over here but, looking at her boat, that’s highly unlikely. I know Aussies will fuck anything but surely they wouldn’t pay money for that?
    This bitch’s problem is not the smells, it’s just cunts doing things she disapproves of…….smoking and eating meat. Like all modern libtards they can’t just follow their chosen lifestyle they have to force it on everyone else. I’m always right and you have to recognise it you common scum. You know it makes sense.

  8. What are the chances that she will end up living in Islington alongside Jeremy and OJ? Pretty high methinks.

  9. The word vegan says it all. Interesting that Chrissie Hynde, who is a veggie, says that vegans are responsible for more people becoming meat eaters due to their shrill antics.
    This silly fucker would get sjamboked in SA.

  10. I thought I would put my meat in anything but looking at that gruesome visage I’m having second thoughts.

    I wouldn’t even use the tradesman’s entrance. Might fetch a glimpse in a mirror!

    Fuck me what a hound!!

  11. Cunt teenagers bouncing basketballs outside your window can be an extreme cunt, I have to agree. But going to court with it? Jeez.

    She is probably unaware that the more fuss she makes, the more ingenious the retaliation. Next door’s probably ordered the extra-foul shag and the big pipes already, and may be aware that barbecued wild goose is the equal of burning rubber in the aroma stakes.

    Next stop, a home smokery, or possibly a business.

    • I’d be interested to know what she does when she goes shopping? Do local shopkeepers have to conceal all meat products? Do the streets she os walking down have to be cleared of smokers?

      This kind of BS is symptomatic of the all about me society.

      Sooner she learns the world doesn’t revolve around her sensibilities the better.

      Cunt

    • Snags on a barbie? you ain’t seen nothin’ yet cunt.

      Set up a grallatorial smokehouse specialising in pelicans and black shags basted in buckets of months old fish guts, a Thai prawn sauce fermentary venting on the hour, and a noisy belching banging civet cat coffee bean roaster/smelter downwind, noisy, malodorous and near but not quite vegan ‘because that’s exploiting animals for their shit’.

      Guaranteed vegan head implosion, sorted.

  12. she reminds me of my neighbour, she was moved to our area from distant lands and one of the first things she said was that she felt “safer here”, that was a hint.
    She then systematically pissed every one off making reports to the council/ police etc and then went on a defamation campaign on a number of people, even suggesting that one was a drug rapist and another a pedo.
    She now has agoraphobia and wont leave her flat (don’t worry she dose not work so no hardship).
    What she really needs is a good slap round the head so she learns the consequences of pissing people off, I am very surprised that no one has been hurt because of her and her revelations and yes she is one of these limp flowers and a veggie to boot.

  13. The odious little cunt waffle Bercow is finally stepping down at the next election – whenever the fuck that is. Goodbye free Arsenal and Wimbledon tickets and arse crawling around other Z-list cunts who have no idea who you are.

    • Bercunt has served his purpose well…. the damage has now been done… there’s nothing left for him to do. Between them, May and Bercunt have served the UK up to the EU on a platter.

      Boris’s job is to go through the no-deal motions, then bring back May’s EU dictated deal at the last minute – the Labour led opposition, along with the 21+ Tory traitors, will bite his hand off and pass it with a comfortable majority.

      Bish, Bash, Bosch, the stitch-up between the EU & UK political establishments is complete.

      • This is the real worry RTC – I hope there will be enough Labour MPs who want Catweasle hammered along with the Tory Spartains the Lib Shites and Sweaty Sock Nationalists to just keep the May Bots rancid deal out.
        Boris is the new King of Cunts.

  14. Cuckold Bercow will be gone by October 31st if the remoaners don’t vote for an election tonight, which they won’t. But don’t worry the cunts still have the numbers so they’ll just vote in another slagbag remoaner. About time they had another woman. How about the Dudd, or Mavis? Sourberries anyone? Or how about the canal barge woman , Phillips?
    You get rid of one cunt and another one takes his place.

  15. From observing Vegans’ diets, I’d expect her shit smells bloody awful. The neighbour should insist she only shits at home if the wind is blowing away from him.

  16. Fuckers like this need to totally isolate themselves in the middle of nowhere if they want peace and quiet and not to be ‘offended’ by aromas…. and stop fucking moaning about everyone around them if they choose not to do so.

    If you live amongst others, part of life is accepting that you may not like everything that goes on next to you noise wise or whatever…..but that is LIFE. It is one thing to make a noise complaint, but a smell complaint??

    Fucking loony old mare.

  17. I sort of agree with her.

    Everybody has the tight to clean air. If you had to live next to somebody burning tyres all day you’d soon complain. Similarly, if your neighbour was the Flabbotasaurus and you had to breathe in the stench of shit and Nando’s every hour of the day, you’d lose your mind. The fumes would creep in somehow and you’d never be able to sell your property. It’d be like living next to a fertilising plant with a 24-hour a day muckspreading whiff.
    Fuck that.
    I’m with you sista!

  18. Maybe her neighbours should take this ugly munter to court: over the constant noise from her electric dildo…

  19. Next 007 should be a woman says Bond star Pierce Brosnan….

    Ian Fleming never wrote the character as a woman… He’s called James Bond for a reason, you pussywhipped Fenian fuck….

  20. I’m imagining this whiney bitch sitting down to eat her lonely vegan dinner. She turns over a lettuce leaf and one of those big Aussie arachnids 🕷 leaps up and rips her throat out!

    Surprise surprise Cilla!

  21. Fuck me. Yet another “please look at me…I’m desperate to get noticed” old leather bag with a face like a weekly fucked arsehole. These are sad times we live in, where everyone obsessed with wanting their two seconds of very dubious fame will complain about everything and anything. And these cunts actually breed? Maybe she needs to fuck off and live on another planet. What a total cunt.

    • I’m guessing the aroma would be called “Morecambe Bay during the long hot summer of 1995”.

  22. Another slapper with a pongy minge: Sally Berco was in the lower house today when her midget snivelling cunt of a husband made a speech.
    Never a suicide bomber available when you need one, is there…..

  23. Fuck me if I lived next to that sour faced old boot I’d need a bbq to produce a thick smokescreen all day every day.
    What a demented cunt.

    • This is the woman I mentioned the other day, the neighborhood has organised a massive BBQ with thousands due to attend!
      She’s back at her lawyers.
      Cunt.

  24. If I lived next door to this moany old cow I would put up a dart board in the back garden with a big picture of Greta Thunderpants on it. No doubt she would complain about the thumping noise of the darts going in and the cries of “yeees, got the bitch right in the eye.”

    What a cunt I am.

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