Millennials and Millennial Speak

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Millennial speak is what I’m cunting, but we’ll throw millennials in the cunt ring alongside, seen as they created it.

These people are supposed to be our future leaders, our future scientists, our future teachers…….so if that’s the case humanity is fucked. I was born in the 80’s, so I’m not greatly older than these snowflake, retarded, lazy fuckabouts, but I pride myself on using correct grammar, spelling and real words (apart from fuckabouts). Some examples of millennial speak really do leave you scratching your head, especially when we already had suitable terms, phrases or words in the first place. Anyway, here goes.

Netflix and chill – for a long time I didn’t know what this meant, until my other half, who has Facebook, explained it means to put a TV programme on, that you’re not intending to watch, and then fool around.

Woke – I don’t know why I hate this one so much, but this one really gets me. It’s not about being literally awake. But to have some sort of epiphany. Like all of a sudden you realise some people are gay or Jewish. Maybe it’s because I like the word epiphany and they’ve replaced it with a less attractive word and taken ‘up’ off of the end to make a legible term.

Salty – means you’re angry.

Basic – term for someone who has middle of the road opinions, or sedate style. They use it as some kind of insult, funny how they dislike someone for being ‘basic’ but if you have right wing opinions they dislike you too.

Bae – stands for ‘before anyone else’. Awwww, makes you sound a right cunt when you say it though. I personally think they were too lazy to say babe, which I also hate, it was too long so they removed a letter.

“LB/FB” – like back / follow back, it’s to do with social media so I despise it.

Quiche – means someone is really attractive………no it’s a pastry based eggy flan, fucking idiots.

Lit – means a party is really good or some shit.

Adulting – something they will never do, term for doing grown up stuff. This doesn’t need to be a term, because it’s the default for nearly everyone. The term is instead for not being an adult, fucking ‘grow up’.

I’m losing the will to live so I’ll stop there, but believe me there’s a lot more. Homework is to go away and look up ‘goals AF’. I couldn’t even bring myself to explain that one.

I hope this proves that the future is for cunts and we’re all doomed.

Nominated by elboobio

Millennial’s. Now you would think they have properly been cunted, probably not enough and in the wrong place in my opinion.

Just to make things clear I had a shit childhood, a rather shitty career and honestly admit to myself that reproduction would be a mistake, I have walked out of two wars and some of the things I had to do disgust me ( now I am on the normal level)

Any way I have been step dad twice! Yep unlike some of you cunts I have 4 suregate children 2 nephews and 2 god sons (lets not go there)

Well Mrs B’s son (youngest) went AWOL after mrs B’s husband chose to fuck off (convenient for me) her well educated children went to uni, I have to say despite the lack of interest from their father they have done well…. except on communication.

One of their friends, another high flyer manged through the world of modern communication to release a delayed suicide note and film (yes its fucking grim)

Anyway as you can imagine Mrs B is more than worried about her children. Child 1 has done well ( If living with an eco vegan could be considered so). Child two decided to go on an information black out, they failed their first course, maybe even their second, so Mrs B and I decided to have a look, now take this into account I scaled a 3 story building with a fucked leg to look through a velux! I am almost 50! i should not be doing this shit!

So mrs B went down in force on her own ( trust me its for the best) and gets admission into the flat, checks his computer and finds suicide sites on it, as you can imagine this creates some issues, she passes out; the land lady calls me as the in case of emergency call me number. ( excuse me the dog has farted)

I end up thundering up the M3 with a game plan in place, I have already called the local plod asking about random stiffs of a certain age ethnicity and size, then get an ok call from Mrs B fucking twat has turned up alive! Hence me being turned round to prevent the eventual clash of personality’s

Fuck sake kids, when I did Granby I told my family I was a radio operator. When I was in the balkans I was a medic fuck sake.

Nominated by lord benny

60 thoughts on “Millennials and Millennial Speak”

  1. To be fair “Salty” is a very old American expression (as was “cool” before British wankers made it their favourite word).

    What I can’t stand is the use of “merch” for merchandise “sesh” for session and “uni” when the lazy cunts mean university.

    Lazy little bastards

  2. Why do these snowflake millennials also choose to talk American shite.
    Go figure
    Butt
    For sure
    My bad
    From the get go.
    These are the phrases that make my piss boil that much I could power the Flying Scotsman from Edinburgh to Londonstabistan.

    Gobshites!!!!

    • “The get-go” featured this morning on R4 Today, in a news piece. The BBC used to be the, er, go-to (I’m ashamed of myself already) for correct English, but that, in layman’s terms, is completely fucked now.

    • “my bad” is the one I absolutely detest. I heard some cunt say it the other day. I thought he was foreign or backward, but, no, he was a Millenial. Stoopid caannt.

      • The trouble is most white males under 25 these days seem to think they are black lads from Detroit. It is even more embarrassing when you get one white token fucker in a group of black lads and the white lad comes on with the patois more than the dark keys.

        To drag females in as well as males (in case they think I am being prejudiced) would any one of them know what a “film” is?. I get sick and fucking tired of hearing the word “movie/s”. Surely they are not suggesting that until a year or two ago they went to a cinema to see lantern slides?

      • Sacha Baron Cohen was the first, I think, to highlight the absurdity of the white “ yooth “ that’s thinks he’s black with Ali Gee. A phenomenon worthy of a separate cunting.

      • Always seems to be young white lads who listen to all that grime and drill shite. Suppose they think it makes them look well hard, dunnit?

      • I grew up in an age of white midfle class lads from rural sussex and Surrey acting as if they were in the Wu tang clan or Cypress Hill gang. It’s a phenomenon with roots back in the early nineties at the latest.

        Back in the 90s, we was all niggaz, aye.

  3. I ignore most of it but fucking ‘woke’ gets to me. My assumption is it means totalitarian, liberal, cunt.

  4. There is one word that will never be replaced and describes the millenials and their speak perfectly
    CUNTS

    • Showing your age there Creampuff, spiffing nom gents, these ninnyhammer’s and grumbletonian’s annoy me too.

      • Exactamundo LL.
        50 years ago I wore granny glasses as a fashion statement, now I wear them for real!

      • You don’t take no guff when you strut your stuff (notice the double negative, Got to be millennial speak, surely?)
        Afternoon Ruffy.

      • Are you by any chance related to the famous Robert Crumb cartoon, Ruff Tuff? Do you carry a little horn like him?

      • Plagiarist RTC. You’ve been rumbled. I am disillusioned, as I thought your persona was all original. I think MMCM deserves an award for exposing this deceit.

      • Far from being deceitful Blunty, my first customised avatar was a cropped version of the picture above.

      • It’s a good persona. I only spotted it because I’m a Robert Crumb fan – I particularly like his big assed women. Carry on strutting your stuff, Ruff Tuff Creampuff.

  6. Just imagine it was 1939 and this was the cream of fighting-age males in Blighty back then!

    The toothbrush moustachioed one would have rolled over us with the threat of enforced shaving and full cream milk only being allowed in coffee. Decafe banned too!

    No wonder Putin, Mo’s mob and China see us as soft targets these days.

    The fuckers buy into a fucked socialist notion of fairness (equality of outcome) but then crave the latest XYZ phone, console, TV or whatever, and yet see no irony/contradiction in their materialistic addiction!?!

    Globalists love millennials as an army of useful idiots to expand their empire and hold over national and global affairs.

    Globalists love communists.

    Globalists love capitalists.

    Because communism and capitalism are either side of the same coin as far as globalists are concerned.

    Communism sees everyone as a worker unit, to be provided for by the state and controlled by fear.

    Capitalism sees everyone as a consumer, striving for more shit they don’t actually need, and controlled by greed.

    Millennials are a perfect mixture of both traits, and because their greed/need for material things is in conflict with their need to be seen as being fair, they offset their guilt by hating their own kind (in deference to 3rd world illegal cockroaches), virtue-signalling, and climbing aboard quasi group-think bandwagons such as the “Extinction Rebellion”.

    They are the perfect vehicle to promote western civilization’s oblivion – which is all part of the Globalists’ master plan, who want to replace a self-sufficient, willful and disobedient population with a docile, dependent and state controlled one.

    Spectre may have been fictional but I bet that cunt Soros has a white cat on his lap!

    Cunts!

    • Apparently “Fuck Greta” car stickers are doing a fair old trade in The Fatherland. Looked on amazon.de, but they appear to have been removed.

      • I will “fuck Greta ” when she becomes of age my Lord.
        i want her to pay homage to the great god knob and say fuck the environment .

      • How literally ‘refreshing’, what ‘a breath of fresh air’.

        She’s a selective mute (meaning she only talks when she wants to) likes to be alone with her thoughts. At least with that other Greta ( Garbo) she did fuck off and live in obscuirty. Weve got litlke Greta telling us what to do for a lifetime.

        Little Sister is Watching You.

      • Selective mute,my arse. Surely that could be any of us? I don’t always feel like talking, I never realised that was a disability. Where’s me compo?

    • The point I always make too, cunts like extinction rebellion, drone on about how we’re killing the planet and there’s a global climate emergency. Yet, they all have iPhones, computers, internet access and do not see the irony of it all. Most of them also want the next ‘big thing’, which is no doubt manufactured in China, the largest polluter there is, and shipped halfway across the world in diesel guzzling container ships. Fucking hypocrites, most of them are millennials and so subscribe to the, just because I’m not old doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m talking about, when it’s blantantly obvious they have no fucking clue about anything. Cunts.

  8. Apologies if this has been covered on a previous thread but Sir Nigel was on fine form slagging off the Royal Family. Everyone from the Queen Mother to Ginger Pubes and his Mrs got both barrels, especially appropriate to these pair as they are the epitome of Millennial narcissism, hypocrisy and social media driven ‘wokeness’.

    • I think he can forget about his knighthood after slagging of the Queen Mother. What’s the point anyway – the old biddy’s been dead nearly 20 years and is not worth a cunting.

      • The Queen Mum died the same day as the brilliant writer of Round the Horne – Barry Took. The old cunt got 29 and a half minutes of the news and Barry Took got 15 seconds… then and now a look at the weather. There is no justice.

        As regards Harry Hewitt, what a whiny little hypocrite arsehole he is.

  9. “I’m living my best life!”
    Which I believe translates as:
    “I’m pretending to be confident despite the fact that I’m an obese whale.”

  10. Also, “Living my truth”, which means:
    “I’m shoving my attention-seeking, gender-bending lifestyle down your throat.”
    Haters gonna hate, babe.

  12. Good cunting indeed.

    Everything about millennials is putrid:

    Their lingo.
    Their dress.
    Their food – soy, quinoa, avocado on toast and let’s not forget their fucking ‘Starbucks’ cuntery – ‘Can I get an Iced Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte to go, please?’
    Their enormous sense of entitlement.
    The fact they want everything to come easily to them.
    Their obsession and reliance on technology, primarily fucking mobile phones.
    They are experts on everything. Cannot be told a fucking thing without whining that they are being oppressed or that their rights are being violated.
    Their opinions are the most important. We should all listen and do as they say.
    Their complaining that previous generations have fucked up their world and are to blame for everything wrong in the present day – climate change, Brexit, blah, blah, blah.

    In short, they are massive cunts.

    • I was in a sports centre waiting to pick up my daughter recently. Bit early, so went to cafe.
      “white coffee please”
      “sorry, machine is broken. We can do you an instant with milk”

      Fuck me, thought I had gone to heaven, When I ask for a coffee, that’s all I want.

      • Very true. It steams a whole pint of my piss to even hear these hipster neckbeard cunts in their Rupert Bear trousers speak as though they’re feverishly wanking in front of a webcam. Another thing that fucks me out, are these middle management cunts and their corporate bullshit speak of “We’ll touch base”, “Take a rain check”, “I’ve got my irons in the fire on that one”. Speak plain English, you manicured prissy cunts. There was a whole raft of them at my former workplace. Thank fuck I left them to circlejerk over their copy of “Under Manager’s Guide to Sucking Influential Cock”. No doubt they tried to use “Social Ladder Climbing” but all the pages were stuck together. Cunts all.

  13. Young Fucking cock suckers at work like to call me dude or buddy and say cool after every sentence .

    • Yeah, some cunt collared me in the street about electricity supplier. He called me “bud”. Disrespectful cunt.

      • I think this is probably one of the worst faux pas there is, in restaurants I here young waiters/waitresses call couples ‘guys’, instead of sir and madam, or even if it’s less formal, at least greet with the polite ‘good evening’. Not fucking Guys!!!! Or as you’ve stated, presume they’re your friend and address you as ‘bud’. Fuck off you twats.

  14. You Brexit-voting, gammon-faced boomers stole my future!

    If your generation hadn’t fucked the economy I’d be ballin right now!

    Ballin is another one that gets under my skin.

  15. ‘Adulting’ Christ, i remember that from Facebook.

    I read it on the profile of a man in his late 40s-early 50s and thought ‘what a complete cunt’.

  16. Thank fucking christ im not of this millenial generation with all this load of bollocks and double meanings.heres a phrase thats universal even for old fuckers like myself fack orf!

    Try doing some real fucking graft en all .
    CUNTS

    • When I see some kid say Oh my days (and they are usually black with dreadlocks) I immediately see a white haired old granny sitting on her rocking chair in Vermont – it sounds so fucking old ladyish.

  18. Just the one gets my goat quicker than seeing a picture of the man boy Owen Jones – starting every sentence or riposte with “so”. So anyway, so its like this, so just fuck off and die you cunts. Great nom BTW

  19. What a tremendously muscular cunting,many thanks.
    However reading it has made me want to go postal.
    How the fuck did we end up with these cunts?
    What a shitty panto it is.

  20. Not sure ‘So…’ isn’t an improvement on ‘Clearly…’ beloved of politicians exposing their ignorance 15-20 years ago. But, yes, it’s a cunt.
    So, Emily (Dr. E Thynnge, expert), would you please explain for us…?^*
    Emily. So…^
    Interviewer. So, I fail to see any how your answer will be a conclusion, connected by ‘So’, to your previous explanation, as you haven’t explained anything yet?^
    Emily. So the spin tensor in 12-dimensinal brane space^….
    Interviewer. So I give up^.

    *Upspeaking indicated by “^”.

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