Dropped my daughter off at the local airport the other day, parked up, got out, got her suitcase out, said goodbye, got back in and drove off. About two minutes, tops. Cost me a fucking quid! You fucking robbing cunts. You charge for a fucking trolley to carry your bags on, you charge a bastard fortune for your long/short-term parking and you have that fucking gall to charge people for stopping for two minutes to drop someone off? Jesus-H-Christ!!!! What next? A charge for walking through the fucking doors? I’d like to have the cunt that come up with this money-making scam in the back of my ambulance. ‘Pain relief’? ‘Yeah – a Paracetamol’ll cost you a quid, you thieving cunt’.
Nominated by DCI Gene Cunt
Everywhere you go these days there are cunts trying to get their hands in your pockets and rip you off. I’m shocked that you can still park in supermarket car parks for free. It’s only a matter of time before the cunts get together and realise that’s a shitload of money they could get their greedy hands on.
Everything at an airport should be free, including the flight……..as long as you are a dirty foreign cunt who is going home and never coming back. Be my guest you scrounging cunt.
31
I didn’t realise free supermarket car parks still existed, every one of them around me seems to be contracted out to a right bunch of little Hitlers who seem to get satisfaction out of ticketing peoples cars.
How anyone can do that job without any hint of shame I’ll never know, surely you can’t go home everynight and feel like you’ve had a satisfying day at work.
11
Hospital parking charges are the thing that infuriates me the most :- patient evening visiting from 7.30 till 8.30, so you need to be there say 5-10 minutes before, and it takes 5-10 minutes to walk to the car park, pay & leave.
So, a sensible person would think, have a fixed rate for say 1hr 20 or 1&half hours at visiting time ?
NO, it’s £2.40 for an hour, £4.80 for any stay from 55 mins up to 115 mins. Yes, that’s right – you need to allow 5 mins to get to your car & drive through the barrier, or else you have to abandon your car & go pay for another hour!
They don’t have enough spaces to start with. A sign says “We regret imposing parking charges, but this is necessary to pay for lighting and upkeep of the car parks”. The entry machine has the push button painted with tippex. It’s held together with duck tape (if it’s not broken). The car park surface resembles the moon ; and the moon shines more light than the ‘security’ lights.
What a load of shite !
Now, just to show the other side, one shopping centre I visit charges £1 for an hr / £2 for 3 hrs & FREE after 3pm ‘to encourage trade for the town shopkeepers’ – FORWARD THINKING FOR A CHANGE.
Generally though, car parking charges are highway robbery !
119
That’s a great post but how in the fuck did you generate more than 100 tickies!!?? I want a recount I didn’t realise that many people even visit the site, I’m suffering tick envy.
8
Perhaps if they did this in Scotland that carpet kissing cunt doctor would not have emoliated himself in his car…
COME ON BORIS!
11
A cost to put air in your tyres, a cost to have a lash at some railway station toilets, booking fees, administration costs, car parks until 9.30pm, to bring a library book from another library, and the worst theft of all – Council Tax. All Airport charges are criminal.
At least the NHS is free. Huh? Six-month operation wait and four-hour A&E wait?
Gah!.
11
“admin costs” – what a colossal cunt that is too!
£20-£25 to make a small change on your car insurance/home insurance policy – just so some cunt in the office can tap a couple of words onto a computer!
Perhaps we should reverse that psychology – if someone like insurance company wants your business we should charge them £25 for the time it take to fill out their application forms!
9
You only have a four hour wait at A&E because of the malingering cunts that are there for fucking trivial ailments. Same when they fucking whine about a six hour wait for an ambulance when they live ten minutes or less from the hospital. If you can wait six hours for an ambulance, you don’t fucking need one, you cunt.
15
They should rename A&E to A&E&C- Accident, Emergency and Cunts (the new addition to cater for the druggies, the drunks, the time-wasting twats and the imports)
12
Ah DCI, I thought it was the copious amount of Dooshka-Dooshkas saying “Gimme Gimme Gimme, freebies, me wants…”
Morning compatriots.
7
It’s more the feckless ‘Me Me’ types/drunks/Couldn’t Wipe Their Own Arse Without An Instruction Manual types, that clog it up. Proper sick-types are seen and sorted quickly, despite what you may read.
4
Basically, airports have got you by the balls; they have the same money-grabbing attitude as RyanAir – if it can think of any petty thing to slap a fee on it will do so!
Of course the rich cunts and the business types won’t give a shit because they can slap it on expenses – for the plebs its just a case of pay up or fuck off!
9
Good cunting DCIGC
Short term parking fees are a total rip off.
East Midlands – It costs £2 to drop off someone for up to 10 minutes and thereafter £1 per minute after that.
The problem is that so many cunts are dawdling around for change that it can take 15 minutes to queue just to get out. Thereby creating a base income of £5 -6 per car. The card reader isn’t even a chip n pin or chip. You have to enter your number and go through the whole rigmarole. Fucking rob dogs.
I fly around 20 times a year and parking costs more than my flights. There is something wrong with the economics. Cunts.
11
The robbing cunts at Manchester airport charge £3 for 5 minutes or £4 for 10 minutes.
5 minutes? This is only the start as well. I might just have to start breaking down in the hotel bus stop transport area 50 metres beforehand.
5
An informative and eye opening cunting.
Didn’t Parliament declare a “Climate Change Emergency”?
I assumed all flights had been grounded.
5
Its like cars, the cunts want you to buy them but dont want you to drive them.
4
I’m surprised the army aren’t out deactivating all motor vehicles.
Oh… wait a minute… we don’t have an army anymore, do we?
6
We do have an army of sorts – but its mostly full of fat, short-arsed unfit, snowflaky-type cunts who don’t like being shouted at or being told what to do!
They also cry a lot if they get hurt!
2
They’re all busy getting gender reassigned.
3
If people will fly off to sunny Benidorm then I say charge the cunts and the people who drop them off to the hilt.
It’s like scratch cards and the lottery, a tax on the poor and stupid.
5
I bet you’re a wow at parties…
5
I survive thanks.
2
I am indebted to a Mr. Anthony Blair for the solution to this problem:
Strike up an acquaintanceship with a suitable billionaire, using the contacts (and, very likely, information) you acquired during your political career. Assist him in every possible way using the suits you have embedded in noxious African dictatorships via your special Institute for You. Noxious African dictatorships often control large reserves of gold, and want mobile phone networks – your billionaire should be interested in both of these areas.
Then simply use your billionaire’s Gulfstream or Global Express* to buzz round the planet at will, from VIP lounge to VIP lounge, and without too much in the way of baggage restrictions. And presto! No more waiting charge misery! Your taxpayer-funded security detail will pay any charges in any case.
*Now sadly sold, awaiting news of its replacement.
Surprised more people don’t do it.
6
So would my 18yr.old daughter flying last week to Sydney for a 12 month gap year placement at a private girls school be exempt? Not sure you’ve thought this one through…
1
No offence FC but I would keep that sort of thing under your hat on this site. Some posters regard over-achievers with a certain how-shall-we-say…hostility? Snowflakes going on gap-years being a particular source of ire.
2
I would say the only people left in the UK soon will be the poor and stupid. It’s getting that way.
Nothing better than the prospect of fucking off out of this country for a week or two.
1
Good Morning
I was on a trip with a disabled chap a couple of months ago leaving from Stansted Airport. As we are driving there thetour organiser ‘phones to say he is in Zone A at the terminal with a wheelchair. I have already booked a car park within walking distance (450 yards) with disabled facilities. My chum insists on being dropped off at Zone A. We arrive and see a sign Area A, the disabled area, so I park there and go to find the tour organiser. Area A is at the other fucking end of the terminal. I ran from one end to the other and back, by the time I got it sorted I had run up £25 in parking charges in addition to the £65 I had already paid for 4 days parking.
I am off to Spain tomorrow from Bristol, booked late and that is £55 + VAT for 52 hours.
Don’t get me started on how they have rebuilt the terminals at U.K. airports so immediately after security you have walk through yards of fucking shops and when through find they have removed half the free seats so you have to go and sit in a bar or restaurant.
7
That cunt Owen Jones sticks his tongue up these Pie keys’ arseholes so that he can be assured of their vote .
5
We flew from Leeds a couple of years ago. Those massive cunts charge £1 to get into the fucking smoking area. I don’t use the weed but swmbo used to. Bastards. When we arrived back the fucking bogs were unusable due to piss swilling around the bogs and floor. At least use the cunting rip off charge to clean the stinking shit hole.
5
As I was only lamenting to Mrs MR just now:-
‘Every cunt’s got their hand in your pocket’
Morning gents. James O’Brians’s show should be a giggle today!
3
Is he gonna burn live on air?
4
Morning Sixdog… morning M-R.
I predict O’Shithead will start off with: “I want to keep it friendly today”, before launching into abuse at anyone foolish enough to take the bait.
4
Indeed, RTF. I have noticed that similarly with Lammy on Twitter, JOB carefully vets and only engages with the poorly articulate and/or genuinely offensive, in order to make themselves look good.
4
I’d love to see O’Brien suffer a thrombosis because of the Boris appointment.
I foresee O’Cuntchops befalling not only a thrombosis, but a simultaneous cranial and abdominal aneurysm if the UK leaves the EU with no deal.
Laugh? My pants won’t dry – not even in this hot weather!
2
Yesterday he launched his own pre-emptive strike with: “I genuinely want to give Boris Johnson a chance to prove me wrong.”
Just then a little pig with wings flew past my window.
3
I sent him a text last week reminding him he’d used the term ‘Pig-Thick Brexiteers’ about 45 mins before he picked a caller up for using the term ‘Remoaner’. Don’t think he read it out…
2
‘this hot weather!’
Maybe Boris will be like Hitler!!!! I better say quickly in terms of the weather. Always sunny with Hitler. They called it ‘Hitler weather’.
1
My willpower has just failed, along with my decency. So sing along with this –
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPXHRX8Q2hs
2
I’d make fat people walk the last 5 miles to an airport. It would do them good.and the saving in fuel would help the planet.
I wouldn’t allow children into airports….or doddery old Farts.
Fuck Off.
4
5 miles? Jesus man, are you going soft?
The fatties should be made to trek there on foot from the very start of their journey. Also all food outlets at the airport would be out of bounds for them. They should be made to wear an electronic tag that sounds when they are tempted by the smell of beef and onions wafting from the Burger King. Security staff can then move in and quickly eject the lardarses.
6
Good Morning Sir,
At Luton I use the mid-term car park and walk to the terminal. I got bollocked once for climbing over a barrier to save walking an extra 200 yards and told I had to wait for the bus.
I should have used your sign-off.
4
Airport charges are most definitely a cunt, however people the people are willing to pay it and not complain so the cunts see an opportunity and take it. Can’t blame them to be honest.
Also a de ja vu cunting for all the whingeing cunts slagging London off the other day, yes London has a lot of third world/eastern european trash but that the fault of government you voted for. I don’t blame the cunts for coming as the system is in place for them to exploit.
Finally some were saying make London independent from the rest of the UK… I’d like to see how strong the UK would be without 25% of its GDP. The simple fact is London is the engine of the UK and without it the UK would crumble financially.
Still plenty of areas full of whities Putney, Notting Hill, Mayfair etc.
In fact as a Black and White cunt in Notting Hill I feel it’s lost a lot of its vibe due to super rich Yanks and other assorted cunts moving in to the ‘cool’ area stripping its identity… Even the fat cunt on Portobello market has fucked off.
‘All this veg for a paaaaahnd’.
I could hear the cunt a mile away.
London is the greatest city the world has seen, full of quality proper ladies and money making opportunities.
Go fuck yourself.
😁
6
And then go fuck yourselves… I know naffink abaaaaaht it.
3
“Money making opportunities” indeed….I made fucking little from that “General Lee’s Piccanninny pork trotters” van that you sold me for Carnival last year…I still think that the Confederate flags were a mistake….the buggers used them to stuff in the petrol tank before setting it alight…I was fucking lucky to get out alive and my white cloak and hood were ruined in the ensuing chase as I desperately fled that Scooter gang….don’t think that I didn’t hear your mocking laughter….
7
My apologies Mr Fiddler I knew that I should have mentioned not putting confederate flags on the van especially when wearing your white hooded outfit.
I’ve been charring to the Ladbroke Grove drill rap group and they are having a clear out of their mopeds, several mobile phones and various ‘converted’ shooting equipment… I thought it may be of use in the countryside?
4
Could have told you not to bother flogging pig feet in Enfield…
3
Respect your opinion, B&W. Good to see it, despite having cunted the city myself. Never liked it, tbh, although born there, as I identify as a country mouse. The place always gave me a headache – give me fresh air and scenery any time. If Portobello Road’s gone down the tubes then I am afraid there is no hope, and I’m very sorry. I believe the markets off the Edgware Road and in the East End went long ago.
Economic engine? I wouldn’t want to prick the property bubble there, would you? Or tell the Arab and Russian money-launderers and speculative property buyers to fuck off? Or enquire too closely into why the minimum wage (when it is actually paid) has to be higher than the national minimum wage, when this financial hub is generating so much wealth out of thin air?
Questions, questions. Maybe I should buy a pad in Mayfair.
5
Your right Komodo, the whole property market is a joke… totally unrealistic and a lot of these luxury flats that pop up aren’t even selling.
A former Tenant of mine bought a flat which was actually half an original two bed flat for £400,000.
I actually prefer the country living as it’s a far better quality of life I fortunately have somewhere to stay where there’s a river close by etc and will eventually move out to country somewhere but right now I like the balance of lining in London as well as spending time in a more quiet area… A nice balance.
I am staying away at the moment and refuse to return until this heatwave fucks off… 37 degrees in London tomorrow… Fuck that.
Thank God for the Internet which allows me to work away.
2
I voted for Scotland to leave the UK because by the end of this century or next, unless something changes, England will come under the active control of muslims. I don’t give a fuck how much money might be generated daan saaf I’d rather be poorer and more civilised in a proper northern european nation than a richer part of the greater middle east.
3
You’ll have to get shot of the SNP first – they’re all in favour of Freedom of Movement and increased immigration.
https://www.snp.org/immigration-is-good-for-scotland-well-always-stand-up-for-it/
3
The necessity of a sum of money to encourage white British working couples to have more children, to counter the need for importing people from the 3rd world, is the most urgently needed policy for this nation.
2
Each time I walk into an Airport my stress levels soar. Every cunt is on the fucking take. I got scammed £2.50 for a small bottle of water. No wonder they wont let you bring your own in.
Fucking Villains the lot of them.
5
A tip:
Pre-book the vip lounge. Manchester airport is £22.50 for three hours. Don’t eat or drink anything for a day prior and get yer fucking money’s worth. Last time I did it I got through around 5 pints, a few double whiskey’s and three helpings of ‘food’. My reckoning equivalent to about £45 (probably more) if bought in the normal airport bars.
Making sure you get value in the VIP also discourages any pointless shopping.
Additionally as an added bonus I fall asleep as soon as I sit down on the airplane.
Did get moaned at by the mrs for dropping my dinner on the passenger next to me though. But he was a cunt so fuck him.
3
You got off lightly. At Luton fucking airport it was £2.50 for 15minutes and that was ten years ago, just to drop someone off. Fortunately the flight came on at 1am so I waited in a nearby industrial estate otherwise it would have cost me over £15. UTTER UTTER money-grubbing, rip-off, skanky CUNTS of the first order. Now they get FUCK ALL, I go by train, if I go at all.
The more you rip me off, the less you actually get, such as the I-hope-Jamie-Oliver-goes-bankrupt-tax on soft drinks not poisoned with fucking sweeteners.
It’s called the LAFFER CURVE one of the best and most proven formulae, where the higher the tax, the less they collect as people stop buying, refuse to pay or it passes into the domain of lucrative organised crime.
Luton Airport, you are a collective CUNT.
4
Guildford hospital were charging £4 an hour, not sure about it now because the Tesco car park over the road is free, however I will pen up a nomination on this subject.
1
Luton Airport… What a shithole. In fact I can’t stand Airports in general, even going to the Costa del cunt is best part of a days travel.
Having to get the train to the Airport as they rip you off with parking, to only get ripped off with the train tickets, Sat abaaaaaht waiting for departure call to then spend ages going through security thanks to the peacefuls, then get herded to the plane in a shitty bus and then get on a plane full of trash cunts. You then get to the Costa del cunt to spend your whole holiday whingeing to some English cunt abaaaaaht the heat and bills you have to pay at home whilst drinking shite beer or watered down spirits and having to talk to the overweight Mrs whilst trying not to look at some twenty something woman in a bikini.
What a pile of cunt, have a nice holiday and
Go fuck yourselves.
😁😁😁
3
If it’s anything like most UK airport security, they target the white family with kids obviously on a holiday to the Costas, and wave through the goat fucker with a rucksack – just so they can’t be accused of being wacist.
On another note, I flew back to UK (Stansted) from Spain at t’weekend. I knew I was back home as there were only two “border guards” – one was black and the other Asian. Welcome home.
4
The same costs £4 at Stansted.
Took my son to Luton airport a few weeks ago. Short term the cunts wanted £24. Drove to Parkway (cost £2.70 all day) and got the shuttle bus in. Less than a tenner.
1
You can or could a year or two back get 2 hours free at the long term carpark and take the shuttlebus for free, so ok for drop off and pick up.
Used it a couple of times for pick up.
0
Yup – Stansted is fucking highway robbery. Just because they use machines, and not people with masks, it is still robbery. I wouldn’t mind, but my taxes built that fucking airport.
0
You get one hour free at Stansted away from the airport with free shuttle bus.
Just about doable if just dropping off or collecting someone whose flight has already landed and through immigration/customs.
0
I’m saved all that hassle because I’m such a cunt no one ever sees me off or meets me at the hairport!
1
Interesting post this and spot on. Some years ago I attended a financial presentation by an asset manager from the American investment bank Goldman Sachs. He outlined their strategy which required a minimum return on investment of 22%. Minimum – imagine! Some of the best bets gave returns of 60% and 70%.
He singled out one of their top investments as the British Airports Authority. I don´t know if it still exists but he almost creamed himself in orgiastic delight as he raved about this mother of all investments. Sure, it did have to pay the government a fortune for the concession but it literally had a captive customer base and could charge as much as it wanted while paying staff a pittance.
It also fooled travelers into thinking they were getting “bargains” when they bought duty-free items which sold at enormous profit margins. I just despise these companies.
2
Goldman Sachs isn’t known as the Vampire Squid for nothing. Come the revolution I would hope it would become Kalamarakia Tiganita – cut into small pieces and deep fried.
1
Fucking genius idea! The family would know fuck all about, Trevor went to the hozzie and never came back, oh well that’s life anyone got any skunk?
1
Nottingham City Council is a fucking abomination.
0