Weaves

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Weaves.

I cannot believe that I have been reduced to this, but the more I see them, the more fucking hilariously cuntish I find the concept of them.

There’s a lot of talk about ‘cultural appropriation’ these days – usually da big bad whitey man man pilfering select aspects of foreign cultures – yet the elephant in the room is just how utterly fucking ridiculous some of these black women look wearing these ill-fitting, borderline comical hairpieces.

Last Autumn, I found myself standing on a busy tube when I looked a few bodies down the aisle and saw a particularly attractive lady, presumably from the Carribbean – very beautiful face, perfect skin, lovely assets – and topped off with one of those awful, greasy-looking wigs which didn’t even match her fucking hairline. Why? Who in their right mind thinks this looks anyway decent?

I’ve been watching athletics the last few weeks and some of the women actually wear them during events – talk about fucking stupidly impractical – and last year, imagine the howls when a Nigerian long jumper had it fall off mid jump!

Even worse than the Instacunts who draw on Groucho Marx eyebrows in the deluded belief that it enhances their beauty – I give you the female rug-wearers who make the Hamlet advert guy from the 80s look respectable.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

 

32 thoughts on “Weaves”

  1. Is the top one Medusa? The bottom one looks like something out of Star Trek. Where did Admin trawl those up from? Somehow these creatures think it makes them look adorable, i clearly need new glasses as i aint seeing it.

    • It worries me sometimes where admin finds some of these extreme examples. The bottom picture is beyond traumatizing…

      • Glad you like them! It takes a bit of time trawling for these pics, but it’s worth it for laughs.
        Does cost me all my mobile data and GCHQ’s disk space though…
        The only time this has messed my head about was Mr Fiddler’s designer fannies nom, amongst the forseeable horrors was the unexpected trauma of learning that there is a gay equivalent with a whole surgical industry catering to it. My god, I really thought that one would finish me as an admin.

      • it’s a penectomy, been there poked it!
        Couldn’t tell the difference and also has better mileage than a vag.

  2. Same as women who pump up their lips or tits. It ruins not enhances their looks.
    Some of these ‘highly qualified’ beauty therapists have alot to answer for.

    • Haha! Cheers admin! Cheered me right up that!👍 bottom ones the missing gallagher brother who didnt join oasis, but the top one is best! No one will call her pube head again now shes the black Marilyn monroe!

  3. I actually went out with a woman whose hair was very fine and,tbh, rather thin. I wish she’d have invested in a weave. It was like looking down at the top of Jack Charlton’s shiny head when she was giving me a gobble…didn’t help that she vaguely resembled him too.

    Fuck Off.

    • As long as it was Jack and not Bobby Charlton that really would have been a little off-putting.

  4. How dare these cunts culturally appropriate Elton John’s drilled-in thatch? Next they’ll be culturally procuring his myopic, unaffected, ivory tower views on Brexit.
    They all look fucking ridiculous,including that chubby, sperm-guzzling piano player.

  5. Good cunting and what an embarrassment.
    I see a lot of this when I’m aaaaaht and abaaaaaht. I saw an advert with a black woman talking about what cultural appropriation or something and she had straightened hair.
    Weave can look good on some women and a lot of whities have it as well because as women get older their hair thins etc and in their ongoing war to fight ageing they resort to all sorts and sometimes end up looking ridiculous.
    This loud mouthed slag who works in the offices by my flat is always outside chatting on her phone about a load of bollocks… She can’t be more than late twenties yet has had fuck knows what done to her face and she looks stupid. These cunts must actually think they look good.
    Who would want to be a woman.
    Go fuck yourselves.

  7. That woman at the top is probably called Da’paulette and the other women looks like some Romanian big issue seller who will put a Gypsy spell on you if you don’t buy ‘Big Issues please’.
    I’ve had enough.
    Piss off.

    • More likely Halina-Paulette, except that was the name of a cheap camera made in Hong-Kong.

  8. What the fuck is wrong with these women? You see some stupid slag tottering about in the sidebar of shame, usually a good for nothing reality prog reject, fat shapeless tits, makeup like widow twankey, eyebrows like they are permanently surprised, and lips like they’ve been kicked by a donkey. Suddenly, this wretched look is the norm. Shove a load of tattoos and some piercings on the slags, and you have the look. Hideous.

    • In my opinion, they should stop worrying about the hair on their heads and start thinking about growing some between their legs. Bare fannies put me right off. Trimmed yes, shaved no thanks.

    • I got kicked in the chops by a donkey bad tempered little fucker, the resulting scar makes me look like I’ve been fuelling.

  9. That fucking Frida Carlo thing is going to give me nightmares you cunts.

  11. Is there any wonder I love my Dennis.
    Wimmin in general can be pretty in there’s natural look and shape, but in this day and age they will do anything to themselves in the name of beauty. Who the fuck tells the daft cunts they look good with their taloned fingers,.puffed up lips, rock hard tits a drawn on or even worse, tattooed eyebrows. more tattoo’s than a Mexican drug lord.
    Wimmin ain’t what wimmin should be these days. Cunts the lot of them.

    • Very sound thinking MPG. You and Dennis should set up some kind of agency advising the ladies on hair, make up, fashion and style.
      Or perhaps you already have…….ooooh, bitchy bitchy bitchy!

  12. The luxurious, blonde syrup, as sported by the woman in the photo above, is about as convincing as the syrup worn by William Shatner in T J Hooker.

    Really. What a daft looking cunt.

    • I reckon she would rim clinker-ridden arseholes for a snort of Columbian marching powder.

  14. As a woman, I really don’t understand the fucking Groucho Marx eyebrow phenomena of recent years.

    Yes, thicker eyebrows suggest youth and sparser ones are very ageing, but those mostly pencilled/brushed on things are fucking monstrosities. They neither make you look young OR attractive….they make you look like The Gallagher Brothers missing link sister.

    Ugly as fuck.

    My young cousins (who I keep harping on about on ISAC, mostly because everything they do is fucking irritating) have mastered (so they think) the art of this eyebrow shite. They look bloody ludicrous, as if a couple of leeches have attached themselves to above their eye sockets.

    Where is the originality these days with young women? They all look the same – long natural or fake hair, creamed on tans, a shit load of fucking slap on their face and nails so long they could never actually do a hard days graft with them. There is no individuality now. They all aspire to look like those plastic fuckwits on the likes of TOWIE and Geordie Shore, instead of getting a mind and style of their own.

    When I was that age, I was clueless about makeup bar a bit of minimal lippy. Girls these days look fucking 30 when they are still in their early teens.

    STEPFORD WIFE CUNTS.

  16. Off piste, but today upon hearing that Rory Stewart prick grinding on about hiw other PM candidates are making unrealistic promises – it finally hit ne tonight – who his voice reminds me of. Been bugging fuck out of me today trying to recall.

    Of course – his voice is styled on that of Hartley fucking Hare from 70’s children’s favourite, Pipkins.

    I wish he would make like old Inigo Pipkin and fucking drop dead. The bong smoking cunt.

  17. I cant stant this gender-neutral popadour -fade that all of these attention seekers now have, especially with a splash of ‘mermaid’ green and blue.

    If you want to see some real basilisks, look at OKCupid. It’s free because the women are so fugly.

  18. Going on holiday I noticed a young woman with plated in dreadlocks (I wasn’t letching it was a health and safety issue) she had about a meter’s worth of plaited in hair and wool, yes white wool was in the mix too, all I could think was if she goes swimming that is going to cause some problems (I may have been thinking other things too)

  19. Why do women wear make-up and perfume?
    Because they’re ugly and they small.

    Get fucked.

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