A bullfight of a cunting for Spanish tourist parties, por favor señor.
Niche cunting this may indeed appear on the surface, but for anyone who has found themselves firmly amongst heaving thoroughfare in stations, on mean streets or any other cramped, busy part of London or other UK tourist hotspots, you will know for certain that Summer brings with it the curse of the dreaded holidaying swarm. However, as infuriating as tourists are in general – asking directions, photographing innocuous turds and thinking everyone talks like Jacob Rees-Mogg – the variety of tourist known affectionately as <i>Los Pendejos</i>, loosely translated as ‘fucking Spanish scumcunt cretin’ would try the patience of fucking Job on strong sedatives.
Travelling in huge groups packing out tube carriages 30 cunts to a man, these paella-fulled dizzy cunts, all wearing the same red t-shirt/check shorts/hi-tops ensemble – partying like it’s 1992 – talk at bone-shaking fucking volume; piss-boiling enough to be sure on stoic underground trips, but exacerbated by the fact that the Spanish spoken language is the aural equivalent of a jackhammer relentlessly pummelling your fucking skull. With nary a pause for breath or even a stolen moment of contemplation, these chattering cunts almost appear to be on a mission to drive the indigenous worker trapped with them into insanity; feverishly desperate to tear off his own eyelids, roll them up and use them as fucking earplugs.
Do Madrid’s finest cunts not have a modicum of decorum on their own public transport? If I travelled to their dustbowl cunt of a country and barked like a builder from Bermondsey at the top of my fucking voice whilst eating Sevilla oranges like a mental inpatient, would that be totally fucking bueno? And let’s not even talk about the cunts stopping dead in front of you on pavements, with what can only be assumed as a pathological fear of walking single bastard file. I’ve seen similar gangs of Germans, Japanese and Scandinavian on my sojourns into the capital, but they all appear to be fairly savvy when it comes to manners and not making spectacular cunts of themselves in front of the locals.
So gringo, I give you the true El Cunto of the high season, the Spanish fucking tourist parties. Fucking putas.
Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back
This is what I like about ISAC. A place for people to vent their spleen about what Empire admits is a “niche cunting.”
Is it just Spanish tourist groups or tourist groups in general Empire?
https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2019/06/14/losing-the-plot/
9
Excellent stuff CMC. That Cathy Brennan bird looks exactly like this junkie fucking loser who hangs around my local.
He fancies himself as a hard man but you front him up and he shits his pants. This Cathy bird sounds exactly like him. Perhaps that’s why “she” is pushing women around. Cunts like that just need a good fucking battering.
8
Nah, i don’t get it. Obviously tourists in London are a bit of a pain and i’ve also come across them in various places in Scotland, York and other places i’ve forgotten about. Admittedly i’m not overkeen on Krauts but, generally they are ok, especially the Japs. Any Jap tourist party always seem to have a load of young birds, with short skirts who need a good fu………(wipes sweat from brow)
I have to say i’ve been in Paris, Berlin, Prague, Amsterdam, Milan, Dublin and fuck knows where else i’ve forgotten about, enjoying myself and drinking in the local culture and then……..THE FUCKING BRIT TOURISTS TURN UP!!!
Sorry, when it comes to cuntish tourists we are the best, no question in my experience.
25
Serves you right for going to such places..Are you a Big Issue seller?
We get no Spanish tourists in Northumberland….although I have considered opening a bull-fighting school to see if I can gain from the Dago Euro.
Fuck Off.
16
In London how do you tell the tourists from the locals anyway? Ok you can pick out the Yanks and the Japs, especially the young jap birds with short skirts. (I may have mentioned them before)
But I could just as easily be taken for a tourist as any other cunt. Thank you Tony fucking Blair and die soon you cunt.
22
Thankfully I avoid the Smoke, and especially the Tube, for precisely that reason (or one of them at least).
London is cranky and maddening enough with its own indigenous collection of cunts; having some foreign cunts thrown into the mix hardly makes much of a difference; although I can understand it only adds to the frustration of trying to get from A to B as quickly and calmly as possible.
Quite frankly I think a future government should adopt a policy seen in the SF film “Escape from New York” – build a huge fucking wall around the M25 and keep all the mad cunts contained within, while leaving the rest of the country to carry on unhindered by all those cunts – foreign or otherwise – from the south east pocket of England.
(That said: Chinese tourists are cunts when they come visit Birmingham, Warwick or Stratford (my neck of the woods) – with their clicky cameras; and their high-pitched “ching chong bow wow mow” accents; tossing litter all over the place, and just overwhelming everything they find remotely interesting – cunts!)
13
Chinese are cunts everywhere, the way both men and women draw back on the contents of their nostrils, hack forward their throat and then spit outward the multicoloured gobbet of disgustingness onto the street taking pride in the distance and accuracy made. What’s wrong with a discreet bushman’s handkerchief?
6
Talking of foreign cunts, this Cricket World Cup has generated thousands more of them. Watching India v Pakistan, all the adverts are geared to where to eat, sending money home etc. These are in addition to the ones already here. I wonder how many of these will not be returning ‘home? ‘
3
It’s a LONG fucking time since I was on the tube, and it was a fucking nightmare then. You have my deepest sympathy, Empire.
Flora Light can Get To Fuck too.
It’s no way to treat crumpets.
Good morning.
11
“Flora Light can Get To Fuck too.”
… now there’s a curve ball I never saw coming in a nom!
7
Lashings of full fat Lurpak. Nothing else will do.
6
Flora? Is that the shit that doesn’t melt and looks like pus on toast?….
6
I knew a Flora Light once. She could be easily spread and was very useful for topping. Didn’t care much for her sister Marj
though.
I no longer get my coat, I leave it on permanently.
6
That’s the shite.
Oh yeah.
1
The Spanish are cunts generally.
Vete a la mierda
6
Mind you, Spanish women usually have terrific asses. And Don Quixote was a great contribution to world literature and perhaps the best novel ever. Those are the only good things I can say about Spain.
3
They might have nice arses; but Jesus H Christ they don’t half yap on and on and on!
You can never tell if their mood is angry or benign, but their level of yapping remains the same.
Just shut the fuck up for 2 minutes, love!
8
And hands of Gibraltar you paella eating fuck wits.
12
I understand that Katie Hopkins is getting a slagging from the libtards for using the word “Londonistan” on her Twitter account. Fuck me, that’s soooo 2016.
If I was on twitter I would inform Katie that the word is now “Londonstabistan.”
Hey, this is a fast moving, cosmopolitan, diverse 24 hour city. Mayor Khunt has seen to that, bless his cotton socks that the hipsters don’t wear anymore.
14
Hate London with a passion. Like to wind up the unfriendly locals by asking loudly in common as fuck northern for directions, or shouting ‘morning!’ or ‘hello!’ to them, they bristle at polite greetings, but to be fair id be depressed if i had to live in that shitpit.
11
No doubt New Scotland Yard will pull her in, throw her into a detention cell, shine bright lights at her and give her a good pounding!
Now in normal circumstances I would applaud their actions because I can’t stand the cunt; but given the current touchy-feel “I’m offended” nature of the snowflake crowd, I do feel a bit of sympathy for the scraggy old bat.
1
Sorry to hear of your plight TECB.
Here in Portmeirion we take no guff from vociferous greasy Spaniards. Any cunt getting uppity, Number Two sends in Rover:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I6Ffr1U7KMY
We actually have one bearing Tango Man’s face. Ideal for dealing with Suckdick Khunts, we know how much he loves balloons…
5
Tango man has been on Twitter and described Suckdick as “a national disgrace.” The libtards are up in arms, crying their eyes out.
Big Don is as thick as shit and knows next to fuck all about this country but as long as he’s winding up Suckdick and his mates I love the cunt. 😁
15
Thick as shit he may be but he clearly knows a useless, self-important cunt when he sees one.
11
I liked his ‘stone cold loser’ quote. That hit home.
8
“Khan is a disaster. Will only get worse.”
😂
10
The girl on the front row in the photo, wearing the striped top, looks as though she’s looking for a dick to suck. Sorry luv, the Mayor of the City is out of town at the moment. However, you’re not missing much.
2
There have been more murders in London on Saddam Suckdick’s watch than Jack The Ripper, The Krays, the Richardsons, Crippen and the IRA put together…. And the cunt (like that scumbag Burnham we have up here) just doesn’t seem to care… I’m alright, Jack and more virtue signaling is all we get from these bastards…
Khan is a pure cunt and the man is skidmark on the Y–Fronts of British society….
7
They look as though they’ve been ‘blimped’ by a giant Condom.
3
Cant wait for the arrivals at Gatwick, Heathrow, Luton And Stansted to announce ‘welcome to Londonistan’
Maybe Suckdick can use his position to have it made official
CUNT!
6
There should be a cunting from snr Diego Cuntamo for the fucking British disgraces that disfigure the Costas.
Bastardos.
7
Large groups of tourists of any nationality are irritating, not because of their nationality but because of their herd-like behaviour for which they cannot really be blamed given that there is usually a drover, with flag-on-a-stick or furled umbrella held high, leading them on. I always treat tourists politely and helpfully and thank them for visiting our fine country. I never display any irritation I may be feeling because this would be bad manners. Apart from in the “Costas” of Spain and other places where the sun-worshipping, cheap booze-swilling, fag-in-the-mouth lower orders congregate to spend their time in the equivalent of Great Yarmouth with sun, unchallenged by anything “foreign”, the British citizen abroad is invariably treated with respect, politeness and helpfulness. This is because, despite the efforts of Corbyn, Khan and their ilk, either through direct experience or repute the British are known globally for their good manners, tolerance and courtesy. At home or abroad you are an ambassador for the UK. So be nice to tourists. You might be in their country one day and require assistance. of some sort.
13
Balanced and well considered post Fimbs 👍
6
In the Basque country (Euskadi) by any chance?
5
That’s because they’ve never even heard of the place and are giving you the benefit of the doubt. Mrs. B is Welsh but after 43 years I think I’ve just about knocked the Welshness out of her. ( not in a violent kind of way you understand)
5
I took the wife to Spain for two weeks and all she did was complain that the food was just like home and everyone spoke English she could understand. She asked if we could go somewhere where the food was weird and the language was hard to understand……I have booked two weeks in Scotland next year.
15
or come to London
9
My ex did something like that… She moaned (and fucking moaned) that Spain didn’t have enough ‘culture’ for her liking and she said it was ‘just Blackpool with nicer weather’… My reply was ‘I don’t see any fucking tower, so shut up!’…
The sulk I got off the cow was priceless: when I fucked off for the day to Barcelona to escape her nagging and to meet the great Johann Cruyff…. I also went to a Stone Roses gig in Valencia that week too… I purposely saw as little as possible of the whinging tart and with good reason… Soon got the sack after that and met the lovely Mrs Norman soon after…
14
Can’t wait to read your published autobiography.
3
I hear ECB about the Dagos, noisy cunts that they are… But I’d rather have them here than the scores of Bogo Bogos, Booshka Booshkas and Starking Panleys… At least the Spaniards fuck off home and don’t suck a hole in Britain’s resources or form rape gangs….
Every other accent I hear now is from eastern fucking europe… I say accent, I mean voice… Because the cunts can’t/won’t speak English… Fuckers…..
13
Any tasty senoritas amongst the Spanish tourists, ECB?…
6
Thankfully I don’t live in London anymore, but when I did, I found that the tourists from southern Europe were always the noisiest.
Scandinavian, Dutch, German, Swiss, tend to be better behaved.
The less said about the French, Chinese and Russians, the better.
6
Manchester United’s Paul Pogba says this summer “could be a good time to move elsewhere”.
Fuck off then, you uppity twitter whore big baby of a cunt…
Ta-ra, you waste of space….
8
And take those faux-gangsta social media wankstains, Lingard and Rashford with you…
4
At this rate Norman, you’ll have no team left!
May I suggest you also throw in Young, Jones, Shaw and Smalling, if only for that ridiculous topknot?
3
Dead right, BSC… Apart from De Gea they can all fuck off…
5
Italians are worse tourists than the Spanish.
The wops manage to bottleneck the pavement, shop or wherever they happen to fucking be and stand in the way of every other cunt swinging around like the Flabbot’s eyes with their oversize cockin’ rucksacks. It doesn’t need a group of them, 2 of the cunts can manage it on their own.
And the ‘men’ tie their jumper arms up and leave it flopping over the back of their shoulders. Cunts.
4
A VERY accurate and deserved cunting. Lived in London for years, I know these bastardos all too well.
As the late George Carlin once said “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups”.
8
Have you ever encountered Brazilian cunt-flocks? Jesuschrist, they make Spaniards seem angelic.
0
I work with a load of ‘em (and Portuguese/Italian/Indian/African/etc etc etc) and they don’t shut the fuck up. Now whenever I go abroad it just feels like I’m sitting in our coffee room, just hotter. Balls.
4
The packs of young Spanish student groups are just full of piss and vinegar. I haven’t found them to be nearly as offensive to British values as the thick-headed umbongos and evil camel-jockeys.
2
Or the hordes of ex-iron curtain eurofilth that act like they own the fucking place and talk loudly all the bloody time…
6
Spanish birds are generally hot so i don’t mind them.
Putting a cock in their mouth usually sorts the noise issue out.
3
I felt more welcome in Madrid airport at 3 a.m. than I ever did in London. Cunts are cunts wherever you find them, and it is slightly comforting to think that somewhere on the planet, lads can still be noisy, offensive and foulmouthed (if you speak Spanish) lads rather than soya – fed neckbeards aspiring to be the househusbands of media wimminz.
To avoid tourists, simple. Avoid tourist traps.
1