Recaptcha

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People that think recaptcha is appropriate are utter unredeemable pitiful cunts.

The football team I support just won a football match. I want to post on their official forums, share my love for the team, acknowledge their tremendous achievement. But no! To register I have to help Google train their AI to recognise a fucking street sign.

It wouldn’t be so bad but I’m assessed against their current AI model and a whole swathe of fuckwit Americans, which means that accurate street sign identification isn’t what they’re after. No, to register to post on a forum I have to accurately guess what some mutated inbred fuckwit American considers to be a street sign.

I could almost handle that. Almost. Except that to contact any company, regarding anything, I have to fill in a fucking recaptcha. Am I human? It doesn’t actually fucking matter, all that matters is that I spend my time and energy training Google’s AI to make the same fucking mistakes that the American public will make.

Fuck this anti-person technolgy, fuck Google and above all, fuck the cunts that think it’s reasonable to fuck over their customers, their supporters and any cunt trying to contact them by imposing such a nonsensical cuntish fucking waste of time, brainpower and energy on them.

Nominated by Quivering Quim

41 thoughts on “Recaptcha”

  1. I’ve never come across anything as complicated as this when logging into a site.

    Are you you attempting to access something on the “Dark Web”?

    • Madame Foo Foo has never been fussy about who accesses her content
      Morning Mr. Fiddler.

      • Indeed,Jack.

        Who’d have imagined that “footy forums” would need such security? I don’t have any bother accessing Rugby forums….but,of course.I suppose that footy-forums attract a quite different class of person to rugby forums.

      • There’s none of that type of thing in Rugby,Jack. Israel Folau has made Rugby’s position on The Gay Problem quite clear.

        He has set up a “GoFundMe” page to help fund his fight against the forces of Depravity. I have,of course,given generously, I would urge you to do the same.

      • All he’ll get from me is a Go Fuck Off.
        He’ll probably spend your money on da white wimmin.
        You’ve been had.

      • I was rather suspicious of someone calling themselves “Israel” asking for money,but when I saw that he was actually a tarry-toot realised that it wan’t a problem. A lot of well-tanned people give themselves fanciful titles…”Prince”, “Emperor” ” Legally Employed” when asked to state their name in Court.

  2. Drives me fucking spare.

    One website (not adult, before you ask) which I accessed last week required my username & password, then a fucking recaptcha, and then asked me to verify an email code, because my device was not recognised as having accessed the site before. I spent more time trying to fucking log on than I did actually using the fucker.

    Passwords and these bastard recaptchas are the curse of the modern age. The ones I always fuck up are the words with random squiggles and dashes through them – making ‘t’s genuinely look like ‘e’s – causing mucho cunting keyboard-smashing frustration.

    The squares thing is just torture. After 20+ years of meaningful commercialised internet, is the best we can do regarding bot security a tinpot mini-Catchphrase session on how many Christing traffic lights are in the pictures?

    • Try logging-in to a Clydesdale and Yorkshire bank account. I think it will be easier if I advertise for a Chinese hacker to help me. Cunts.

  4. That old shit… ‘Type this gibberish bollocks in to prove you are human’…
    Like the cat is going to be using the fucking PC…

    Oh, and someone needs to pour a bucket of salt on that amoral human slug, Jeremy Hunt…

    • He called Bojo a ‘coward’ and says he needs to ‘man up’ (I’m surprised the feminazis aren’t all over that phrase). 50 years ago using language like that would’ve earned a man a smack in the face, 50 years before that – pistols at dawn. He’s a massive cunt, and to think one of these mongs will be our next leader.

    • ‘..Like the cat is going to be using the fucking PC…’

      My machines at home are set to lock screens after 2 minutes inactivity…so, if I forget to hotkey lock them when I leave them, they automatically lock.

      Even doing this, I came back once after half an hour, found the screen unlocked (12 character password required) and one of the cats sitting rather smugly on the keyboard….with all sorts of garbage typed in to one of my remote admin shells on a server..

      Moral: Don’t trust the furry wee bastards…disconnect the keyboard.

      • Magnus, are you by any chance related to the de Baugh-Baghes of the Chateau Lait region of Verre Aller?

        (That’s Castlemilk in Glasgow to the uninformed).

  5. I hate recaptcha with a passion. I dread to think of the wasted hours I have struggled with their meaningless pictures, identifying bridges and traffic lights and inexplicably failing.

    Fuck off.

    • Or hills. You see some little lump 40 miles away and have to decide if it’s a fucking hill.

  6. I love how they try to make it easy for thick as fuck Septics with these captcha things… Fire hydrants and traffic lights are popular… Has to be something they’ll understand… Especially all those coke and VD riddled cunts in Hollywood… Mind you, I expect the likes of Kunty Perry and the Johansscunt would struggle to recognise a fire hydrant or traffic lights anyway…

    • I don’t know I expect Ms Perry has considered the use of a fire hydrant in some pleasure department

  7. 10/10 for the picture, mods. Only occasionally have to negotiate this iconic cunt, and generally conclude that the cunt company requiring me to indulge its paranoia can do without my custom after the fifth time I have failed to spot an unfamiliar US roadsign lurking in the corner of an indistinct thumbnail.
    Type the letters in this box:
    CuNt

  8. Excellent cunting QQ. Sometimes have to prove you’re not a robot when connecting through a VPN. The conversation with my ipad goes something like this:-
    Tick every box with a traffic light – “Do you mean just the lights or the fuckin poles as well?”
    Tick every ……… a hydrant – “We don’t fuckin have those in Blighty”
    Tick every………….a bus. – “That’s not a fuckin bus, it’s a coach”
    Fuck Google, the Yankee cunts.

  9. I really hate these fucking things. The pictures are deliberately fuzzy so that you can’t see what’s what. By the time that you’ve had to repeat the Cuntpcha several times in order to get a download link which you have to wait 120 seconds for and then realize that it’s going to take 13.4 hours to download a poxy 500Mb movie, you’ve lost all enthusiasm for a wank.
    Get to cunt.

  10. Lol at Chris Davies the former MP for Brecon. Done for fiddling his expenses he has been de-selected but now intends to stand as an independent in the forth coming by-election.what a fuckin nerve! If he actually wins we might as well all fuckin give up.

  11. The photo on the nom has just created a new dictionary word –

    Densicuntity noun:slang – the number of cunts to the square inch.

    • The densicuntity of the House of Commons is equivalent to the gravitational mass of a black hole.

      • John Bercunt could probably have done with a box to himself in the photo. No! The smug, vain bastard will probably have asked for one.

      • The science explained…
        Unlike a black hole it is possible for portions of the densicuntitude ( ie cunts) to leave its field. But only by exchanging with an equivalent mass outside possessing equal potential densicuntitude. The ejected cunt rarely achieves escape velocity, and consequently orbits indefinitely in the hope of getting back in, The acceleration of the incoming cunt is spectacular, but once it has entered the nonevent horizon its energy declines sharply and it is incapable of useful work.

      • Well explained Komodo.
        Apologies to Dennis Skinner who now seems to have acquired a name all to himself – ‘deniscuntity’

        Fuck, no apology, he is a Labour cunt after all.

    • Frequntcy would also work;

      = n cunts in a sample n/ total n in sample;
      Approaches unity in the attached photo

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