After-shave Toilet Attendants are cunts, aren’t they?
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➖ Al-reeet brother, after-shiirrve? No spray, no lay.
Cap’n Magnanimous: I’ve just come in to have a piss, thanks.
➖ No cologne, no go home. No Davidoff, no suck it off, ha ha!
Cap’n Magnanimous: Yes…I’ve….I’m in the middle of…
➖ No soap, no hope!
Cap’n Magnanimous: …Fuck’s sake…
➖ You need hand-towel?
Cap’n Magnanimous: I’m a bit busy, you know, having a piss.
➖ Alriiight, but you know, blud, no splash, no gash. No Armani, no poonani!
Cap’n Magnanimous: Ahh, finished. I was pissing like a racehorse…
➖ No brudda, use ma soap..
Cap’n Magnanimous: What are all these bottles of perfume here?
➖ For the ladies, freshen up; sucky on your lollipop.
Cap’n Magnanimous: You’ve got urine on your trainers.
➖ Ma job is to ‘elp you cleans your ‘ands.
Cap’n Magnanimous: It seems your job is to prevent customers reaching the sinks.
➖ No lubrication…. No penetration, aiiii!
Cap’n Magnanimous: And you guilt-trip weak-minded drunks into tipping you for it?
➖ Dey sliiide me a gold coin, bro. Have a hand towel.
Cap’n Magnanimous: For a quid? I’ll drip dry, thanks.

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Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Right, I’ve had enough of this! If English is your native tongue, then fucking speak properly! A holiday is not ‘holibobs!’ If you are going to America, then say that. Not ‘Im going America’. ‘Love you, much!’ What the actual fuck is that meant to mean! Ask, seems to have become ‘ax’! If you ever speak to me in this teenage millennial dribble, I’m going to stare at you, silently, until you realize that you are an utter, utter cunting, cunt farm!!

Nominated by Master Baiter

I’ve just been forced to sit through an episode while on anchor watch! What a bunch of simpering, self righteous, moms apple pie, wholesome, law abiding, bible thumping, forgiveness is everything, cunts! Especially the late Michael Brandon! What a cunt! I hope he’s burning in Hell with a massive hot poker up his shitter for being a shit actor. And as for the youngest daughter! Walking around with that shit eating smile on her cunting face all day long! It’s no wonder that the store keepers daughter wants to punch her face in! Fucking cunts, the lot of them!

Nominated by Master Baiter