Jamie Oliver (10)

This nomination goes out to the chubby cunt who can’t cook, who we all know as Jamie Oliver. This cunt is a cunt for many reasons but this time I believe he has truly out-cunted himself. After his restaurants failed, which he puts down to the decline in the UK high street rather than his inability to make anything edible, this unbearable fat cunt has now struck a deal with Shell for his new healthy eating deli range. Much like a politician, it seems like democracy doesn’t exist when it comes to what we choose to eat either. We haven’t forgotten about the turkey twizzlers and we won’t forget how fucking shit your food tastes either. Considering this cunt is a UN environmental campaigner and is now opening deli ranges at Shell the oil company, this lispy mockney cunt is almost as big a hypocrite as he is a cunt.

Nominated by Cunt Curtains

68 thoughts on “Jamie Oliver (10)

  1. I believe this lisping, fat-tongued dangleberry has now made the Wall of Cunts. There simply is not a wall big enough for all the cunts in every day modern life.

    His inevitable high-fat and high-sugar ‘deli’ range will likely retail from around £3.99 upwards. Best avoided. The greedy cunt just doesn’t know what to do next in his quest to relieve muggy punters of their hard earned.

    A pukka cunt, no mistake.

  2. Jamie Oliver is the type of cunt who doesn’t wipe his arse after taking a big stinky dump. I never had turkey twizzlers before an they sort of sound disgusting but jamie is a cunt for helping to ban them. Let people eat what they wanna eat ffs and shove your sugar tax idea up your ass

  3. Oliver is a complete Twat.

    The fake “Cockney-Geezer”act, the ridiculously named brats,the slack-fannied wife,the holier-than-thou food “crusades”,the childish naming of ingredients (Sammy Salt or Percy Pepper etc.),the collection of right-on “mates”,the overpriced food,the sheer greasiness of the food,the lisp,the drooling etc…..but most of all,it’s the sheer irritation and jealousy at the fact that some semi-Spak Ka can end up so rich.

    I hope the rest of his shitty restaurants go bust and he.and his delightful family,end up selling blowjobs in a layby behind a kebab van on the M6. Jamie’ll be quite good at that,what with the excess drool.rubber lips and oversized tongue.

    Fuck Off.

    • Is it wrong to hate the mentally-impaired?….Not when they’re fucking Jamie Oliver it isn’t. It’s a fucking patriotic duty.

    • Could i just tentatively ask whereabouts this M6 blowjob area might be. Just out of curiosity obviously.
      Oliver is about as much a cockney as Ed Milliband the twat.

      • Carlisle….the whole town. Wave a shiny pound coin at any Fucker from Carlisle and they’ll be at it like a labrador eating a pork pie.

  4. Fucking mong tongued, window licking fucking wanker. Sugar tax is just another fucking con, along with bunging tax on booze, fags, petrol and anything to do with the great climate change con. We fucking steal the money from your pockets but it’s all for your own good you cunts. Well you can burn this weekend you fucking French cunts and I hope you all die.
    I fucking hate Oliver with a passion. Total cunt who will do anything to fill his pockets and keep producing spoilt brats with fucking mental names.
    Horrible arrogant cunt with no redeeming features whatsoever.

      • Cue the climate change cunts giving it large about the high temperatures caused by pollution and all the usual bollocks; despite it being summer!

        You can’t win with these cunts: come winter they bang on about how cold it is …. due to climate change; in summer they go on about how hot it is due to blah blah…. and if we get mild winters and mild summers, guess what? It’s because of fucking climate change!

        And there answer to these “unnatural” man-made problems? Either ban it or slap a tax on it. Simple!


  5. Because I hate the Kraut loving, turncoat stinking untrustworthy bastards.

    Especially that granny shagging cunt who provides rubber boats to dirty goat shaggers to get them across the Channel. Burn you cunts!

  6. I will make an exception for Marine le Pen and Brigette Bardot though. The rest of them can fuck right off the cunts.

  7. I was dragged into a Kebab place in London that Jamie highly recommended.
    It really wasn’t anything special, but with hindsight, as a cook you are hardly going to suggest to people it might be a good idea to eat at a place that cooks food that is nicer than yours.
    As far as the demise of his restaurant chain, I particularity disliked Jamie’s Italian Guildford, not because of the food, but the kitchen extractors that would fire strange smells into my car as I waited to join the friary roundabout. (Not once did I think “Oooh I must try that”

    • This cunt. Drooling grasping greedy cant mind his own business pukka mitmot! Get yer gaggle of funny named brats in your pimped out VW camper and fick off to Glastonbury, and if a white removal van broadsides you on motorway? Yeah thats me! Im still smarting feom the sugar tax. Ps hope they cant cut you from the fucking wreckage,man.

  8. Back in the early days, before this cunt became famous, I used to quite like his TV shows. He was an extension of that brilliant, don’t give a shit chef, Keith Flloyd from the 80s I think.

    But typically he became the Big I Am; Mr Billy Big Bollocks, and his ego became so inflated that he spent most of his time circling the planet lecturing us on what we should be eating; despite the fact most of his food is totally inedible, and ridiculously expensive to boot!

    It would be funny if the fat cunt died of a stroke while eating his own latest concoction.

    Tax that you faux cockney cunt!

  9. There is very little that is healthy eating, once it has been “played with” in his podgy finger poking hands. Oh!…..and the aerosol effect of his saliva! Any cunt who gob’s on me dinner needs a good hiding! Cunt .

    • Good point about his disgusting hands. I couldn´t believe how dirty his splintered strangler-like fingernails were the first time I saw a video of him digging them into some gooey ingredients in a bowl. Yuk! I pointed this out to my mother-in-law who is a great cook and my wife who is not . They love him but like those fans who deny Michael Jackson was a pedo they claimed I was biased.

      • Michael Jackson isn’t a paedo! He was eccentric, but the guy was a fucking genius. Cleared in court – oh yeah but two money grubbing buftie boys trying to get on the victim bandwagon claim they’re victims so it must be true. The same two benders appeared on his behalf during his trial, but now he’s dead need some money and he can’t defend himself so let’s exploit the poor dead cunt. Fuck ‘Em!

  10. Like the Beckhams this cunt is going nowhere. Super rich but doesn’t use much of his own money as investment so even after his restaurants close down he pops up with new ‘ideas’ and the muggy investment board buy into the ‘Brand’ again.
    Like Beckhams ‘Aftershave’ shite there are people who buy it.
    Also under trade descriptions act or whatever…if I go to a Jamie’s Oliver or a Gordon Ramsay restaurant I should be able to expect them in the kitchen cooking my grub as it say it their restaurant and I want to eat their food… Not what some chef has been taught to cook as they are busy on America or something.
    The whole thing is a pile of cunt and Oliver can go stick his weird tongue up his Mrs asshole… Probably taste better than what’s on offer on his restaurants.

    • The Beckham’s net worth is 355 million, these cunts have made 355 million going nowhere.

      Have a think about that, Jamie who is a little down on his luck is worth 240 million.

      There’s half a billion tied up with massive cunts.

      Lily Allen is reportedly worth 15 million, Gob Beldof reports between 30 and 150 million US and Bonio up to 700 million US.

      Being a cunt pays well.

      Stormzy is worth 12 million pounds apparently, I try not to let this shit bother me, in a way but when these cunts tell me how I should think or what’s right and wrong it boils my piss.

      Next time Bonio is preaching about poor cunts and how we all need to donate our hard earned to them because we are comparatively fabulously wealthy he should do so in front of a screen displaying his net wealth, his assets and the financial dealings of his charity.

      I wish the would all go somewhere.

      • The BBC this morning, wanking all over the Stormzy performance at Glastonbury….. I have no idea if it was good or not but apparently this cunt was on stage wearing a stab vest….. what the fuck is that for.
        I saw him being interviewed on morning TV a while ago, the fucker cant even string a simple sentence together, unbelievable!

        Back to Oliver, he is a cunt always has been always will be.

      • I wonder if any of these preachy Remainer, “we love immigration” cunts actually live on a council estate?

        No, thought not!

        They live in mansions with big walls, big gates, lots of cameras and well away from the stabby riff-raff, but loud enough and influential enough to preach their sanctimonious bullshit!

    • How about the “Jamie Oliver Toilet Brush” ?
      He goes headfirst daaaahn the old porcelain bus, then gets flushed.

  11. One of his mates is that overrated and certainly over paid sack of shit Jay Kay.
    I rest my case.

    • Ah, Jammyrocky or whatever he calls himself… The twat in the hat… Acid Jazz shite and 90s bolllocks of the highest order….

      • You can always tell a cunt by his mates (who is usually an even bigger cunt)…

        Noel Gallagher and Russell Brand

        Gwyneth Paltrow and Madogga

        Stella McCuntney and Madogga

        Jamie Oliver and Jay Kay

        Alex Ferguson and Alistair Campbell/Mick Hucknall/Tony Blair/Joel Glazer

        Dave-id Beckham and Tom Cruise

        Skanklett Johansscunt and Woody Allen/Roman Polanski/Kilary Clinton

        Natalie Portmouth and Roman Polanski

        Bonio and Beyonce/Jay Z

      • I once got into a fight with some cunt who said JK was great. I said “he’s a shit cunt”. Fight ensued, I won.

  12. Gawd blimey guvnor charlie o’Reilly!
    They only place I want to see this fucking spitting fake cockney wanker is under a bus!!
    My local Cockney wankers branch in Brighton closed recently, reasons given were predictable, “ Brexit” and “ financial headwinds “ ? Instead of the real reasons which were, shit food , shit service, over priced and full of absolute cunts!
    Now there’s a fucking RECIPE for disaster!

  13. Due to this cunt I can no longer have the breakfast of champions riceicles or A Mac D’s strawberry Sunday as both were banned with the sugar tax.

    Used to love having a single glass of ice cold coke too after dinner but now the flavour is off and the price to high.

    I hear the cunt is after a pizza tax or ban too what a sad fucking lisping spittle covered cum Fart he is.

    Get the fuck out of my food Jamie Oliver not all of us like to eat bland oily shit, some of us have a thing called taste.

    • I knew the fizzy drink tax would just be the thin end of the wedge. The fucking glory years of food producers giving the public what they want are soon to be a thing of the past replaced by leftist foodie tyranny.

  14. Iron Maiden’s Bruce Dickinson on ‘Glasto’…..

    “In the days when Glastonbury was an alternative festival it was quite interesting… Now it’s the most bourgeois thing on the planet. Anywhere Gwyneth Paltrow goes and you can live in an air-conditioned yurt is not for me….”

    • He’s absolutely spot on …
      it’s just full of snowflake cunts who still thinks is so cool? It’s not and hasn’t been for years……

  15. The sugar tax thing (3 quid for a bottle of fucking coke!) makes me piss…
    Soft drinks – like fags and baccy – are now apparently from Satan’s arse and the Nanny State never stops telling us how bad they are… Yet in every shop and supermarket there is a big fuck off display of scratchcards, lucky dips and lotto booths… Not to mention all the promotion betting gets on TV and the Internet… Eny fule kno that gambling causes addiction and suicide in a lot of cases… But I don’t expect cunts like Oliver to be arsed about that… All the mockney scrote is doing is virtue signaling and pandering to the ‘progressive’ liberal lemmings… He is a cunt…

  16. No real chef cooks steak with olive oil. Disgusting.

    Oliver uses far too much of that stuff. Either because he was trained by italians or to appeal to North London and Surrey mums panicking over looking poor buy having chubby kids.

    In Northern Europe we have butter, you macroglossial fuck.

    • That’s one thing I like about James Martin – he makes everything with a ‘knob’ of butter , about 1/2lb.

      • Oh, he likes a knob alright. Professional Yorkshire cunt, almost as annoying as Oliver.

  17. This bloke is an expert in fuckin’ ‘milking it’.

    How he is still able to get moneyed fuckwits and corporations to buy into his brand over and over again, after how many years in the public eye and the great unwashed being thoroughly bored shitless of him and his Von Trapp sized family, is way beyond me.

    How much money is enough money for him and ‘the lovely Jules’, his fragrant wife (puke)?

    I suppose most of it has been spent on nappies for his numerous children, prolific tosser.


    • Every time I hear “Jules”, I think of “Round the Horne”…

      I looked in the window of Jami’s Italian down by Cardiff library the other day just to gloat…

      I’ll reserve true Schadenfreude for when die Merkelsau shits herself out in public.

      Thought the pics of Vlad with the Hunhback were great; “Strong and Stable” doesn’t require self-advertisement.
      If people had ever been questioned, how many would have chosen Strong & Stable to describe Zelda ?

  18. At the risk of exposing myself as a cunt, his 5 ingredients book was fucking good for those of us who don’t like spending a lot of time cooking.

  19. Pukka. Rhymes with fucker.

    That’s my offering. Got the toothache from hell today.

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