The Royal Sprog

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It’s A Boy!!

Rejoice! Rejoice! Let the church bells ring the length and breadth of the nation!

Yes, Megan M has done her bit as a brood mare, and we can duly consider ourselves blessed by the arrival of another royal sprog. What an exciting few days are in prospect. Wall to wall coverage on every news channel, complete with obligatory skin-crawling sycophancy and smarmy, shit eating grin from every newsreader. Special fifty page supplements in every newspaper, tracing the kid’s lineage back to the dawn of time, going on about how it’s ninety-fifth in line or whatever, and full of photos of ‘the happy family’ for us all to treasure for the rest of our lives.

There’ll be politicians falling over themselves to dish out their brown-nosing messages of congratulation to the happy couple. Then there’ll be the endless discussions about the sprog’s fucking name, and the endless interviews with those well wishing simpletons who’ve stood for hours outside the palace waiting for a bulletin; ‘oooh, they’re sach a laverly capple, Gawd bless ’em, they’re a hexarmple to us awall’.

I’m boaking already. Take your whole fucking circus and fuck off.

Nominated by Ron Knee

115 thoughts on “The Royal Sprog”

  1. I suppose I should be concentrating more on the text than the picture but that photo is fascinating. Is it the original Michellin Man?

    • In keeping with the couples views on diversity how about reflecting that in the naming of baby? Chaka zulu windsor sounds nice?!

    • Hear hear! Just been banned from Daily Mail Online for daring to suggest theories on this!

  3. I’ve got a thousand quid that says James will not be one of the cunt’s names.
    Poor old Jimmy Hewitt, his first grandchild and the nearest he’ll come to him is looking at his photo in the pull out special supplements just like us scumbag peasants.
    Still, if it wasn’t for those letters in that safety deposit box he would have been dead years ago.
    Best keep your head down Jimmy boy!

  4. I would like to thank Mr Ron Knee for bringing this glorious event to my attention.

    A complete media blackout was imposed in my home 96 hours ago. Where oh where would we be without ISAC’s chief royal correspondent?

    • I hope you have made room on the wall for the tasteful souvenir family photo Creampuff to complement the Charles and Diana commemorative tea service and Queen Mother tea towels.

      • You forgot to mention the paperweight on my large antique mahogany desk LL.

        Oh, and the lifesize cardboard cutouts of the entire royal family (including princess Eugenic) in our enormous withdrawing room.

    • ‘ISAC’s chief royal correspondent’, brilliant!

      I bet Witchell’s shitting himself…

      • You wouldn’t catch Ron having a “brain freeze” 😂

        Btw, what the fuck is Prince Edward doing on Politics Live?

      • The BBC and Prince Edward are total cunts, and this country is finished.

    • My pleasure RTC. I gather that it’s been ‘introduced’ to the world this morning, and we can now await the first official photo portfolio with baited breath.

  6. Gawd bless em all. I tip my working class cap to my betters and no mistake. Especially gawd bless the Queen Mavver. ( She stayed in London during the blitz doncha know!)

    • That was a cardboard cut out propped up on the balcony at Buck House.
      Propaganda wasn’t up to much in those days.

      • Lucky for her the chavs didn’t have 60″ HD colour TVs like they all do nowadays.

    • That’s what they said about Emma Thompson the luvvie, remoaning, save the world fucking whore.

  8. Cunters are invited to explore the revolting world of the ‘baby shower’ cake*. Much imagination, some sick, some psychopathic, has been expended on this artform. This is the mildest I could find and I offer it with deep devotion to the happy couple and their product –

    http://www.somuchviral.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/speaking-the-truth.jpg

    *Obviously, this is an American invention, and affords yet another opportunity to show off at creepy social events where people with absolutely nothing in common force themselves to utter platitudes to people they dislike.

      • It looks in a suitable position for “Dr.” Jimmy’s a Vile…

        Ignorance is bliss; Harry Hewitt may be thinking that “Til death us do part,” and Miss Marple believes she’s married a Windsor…

        And the streets appear to be awash with emotional incontinence.

        Bwaaaaah !! What a lod of old cobblers.

        Sod them.

      • Arrggh!! That cake is truly hideous!

        The baby looks like that thing that spewed out of John Hurt’s stomach in ‘Alien’. I’ve got a well honed, iron clad stomach but that ‘placenta’ is also bloody puke-inducing.

        Can’t see M&S stocking this anytime soon in their cake range.

      • Although they do a “Dribble” (sic) cake…

        I’ve heard of Lemon Drizzle Cakes, but the mind boggles.

        Maybe it’s a House of Lords special.

  9. Nicholas Witchell has said he had a ‘brain freeze’. If you watch it he loses it just after saying ‘this is an ango- American baby who….’. Who knows what he was going to go on to say (maybe…’is the first mixed race….’) but I bet the editor was screaming in his earpiece-‘DON’T GO THERE!!!!DONT GO THERE!!!’ That’s what happened.

    • I bet the BBC will collectively shit themselves when someone utters the words, “We now go to Buckingham Palace for a statement from Prince Phillip about the arrival of his great-grandson.”

      • Phil the Greek;
        ‘What the… little bugger’s a ginger with a touch of the tarbrush!’

      • It’s not Phil the Greek’s great-grandson, unless James Hewitt is a secret love child of the Duke of Edinburgh.

    • Mr Witchell said: “Now what of their son, baby Sussex, no name for him so far. The first Anglo-American birth in the British royal family, uh, now we know, of course, that uh …

      “Excuse me, just let me just collect my thoughts. The first Anglo-American birth in the British royal family, and it is … it is certain, of course … “I’m so sorry, let me just once again, uh, hand back to you, Ben.”

  10. We have a Black and White boy in the Royal family…he’ll clean up with them Chelsea bitches when he’s older and I look forward to the Chicken, Rice an Pea at the Jubilee.
    Yeh Mon.

  11. There’s more royal blood in my last nosebleed than there us in the ginger, African crunchie bar.

    Turn off the TVs and radios and pull out your internet lead for a few days. A hard rain’s gonna fall.

  13. I understand the ginger Rupert uses the name “Wales” as a surname. They should call the kid Josey then Meghan could say “I got me a Josey Wales.”
    When he grows up he can go around gobbing on dogs foreheads and saying cool things like “ you gonna pull those pistols or you gonna stand there whistling Dixie?” and “dying ain’t much of a living boy.” 🤠

    • Damn what a film that was. We’ll never see a western like it again I fear.
      Josie;
      ‘When I get to likin’ someone, they ain’t around long’
      Lone Watie;
      ‘I notice that when you get to dislikin’ someone, they ain’t around for long either’

  14. Births
    The Hewitt family are pleased to announce the birth of a piccaninny
    Albert, Arbuthnot, Beerbarrel, Rastus, Claud, HeeHa, MartinLuther, Chinless.

    Rastus will assume the family business of pointless parasite on reaching maturity.
    Involuntary contributions will apply.

  18. The unspoken question on the lips of the breathless and prostate media – will the sprog show a touch of the tar brush.

  19. The boy aint gonna be that black judging by Meghan…she looks like our Tracey after an all inclusive in the Costa del Cunt…Go fuck yourselves.

    • The young Meghan Markle definitely looked black. She had tight curly hair which she’s managed to straighten now. Quite possible that young Rastas Winston Windsor will have curly black hair.

      • Anyway, who gives a fuck. He may turn out to be the most decent of the lot of them. Good luck to him but I dread the fucking media circus, with all that royal fawning and Cunting around.

      • He wont be ginger…dark brown hair I reckon.
        Meghan regardless of her hair is a very light mixed race woman and she is fine.
        I’d stick my… hand out and shake her hand.

      • Aw fuck off she’s a typical american internet lifestyle blogging bimbo.

      • She probably uses one of those skin lightening creams such as “White Lightening.” Black and white sells them cheap on his market stall. Pretty soon, all you’ll be able to see of her is her teeth.

      • What a result eh BSC, One of the best performances I’ve ever seen and without Salah, Bobby. Henderson put in a proper performance and Gini has to be one of the most underrated Midfielders. Cant believe it, we’ll smash Spurs or Ajax.
        The football we’ve played this season deserves the league or Champions League.

      • Completely agree black and white. Woke up this morning and had to get Mrs. B to pinch me. I notice Imitation Yank is keeping his head down! Probably keeping his powder dry until tonight! I’m never going to wipe that match off my Sky box. I look forward to showing it to my beautiful black and white granddaughter in years to come. I shall tell her “look what a team of black and whites can achieve working together.”

      • Sky box Bsc? That’s a kick in the teeth for all right thinking people on this site.

      • Mrs B must have her Strictly Cum Dancing in ultra HD Ruffy. I have been known to watch a little footy on it.

      • You can’t fool me Bsc, Strictly Cüm Dancing is a BBC programme. You don’t need a Sky box to watch it in HD.

        Btw, I am no moderator, but do know a lot of trigger words, such as ñîggĕr, wôg, Pâki, yîd côôn pâèdô & dwârf (!)

        Fingers crossed it gets through…

      • Rtc@5.43. I didn’t put that very well. Should have said “as you are at evading the moderator!” – IsAC fatigue.

      • Mods. Why a refusal to post my reply to my good friend Rtc at 2.13?

      • Ha ha, I’ve just seen it Bsc – you used the word cüm.

        Cüm always goes into moderation for some reason. Let’s see if my modified version gets through…

      • Good afternoon Ruff tuff. As if I would call you a c- – -. Yes, you’re correct about the forbidden word. By today’s standards I would have thought it was quite acceptable. Perhaps it’s so as not to offend anyone with ED? More to the point, how did you get to see it?

      • Oh, the umlaut over the u. Very clever. I’ll bet your just as good at evading your income tax as you are the moderator. 😊

  21. The political timetable.

    19 May 2018. Ginger and Markle get married.
    12 July 2018 President Trump visits UK. Meets Queen. Asks her to ensure Ginger gets on with job without lengthy delay.
    6 May 2019 Ginger did the business. Royal sprog drops. 7th in line to throne.
    3 June 2019. President Trump makes state visit to UK.
    5 June 2019. Theresa May makes TV broadcast to nation. Says the UK and United States have a deep and enduring partnership. A citizen of the USA is now 7th in line to the throne. She has decided in the best interests of the people that the UK will become the 51st state of the United States of America.(Cut to film of ecstatic citizens burning EU flags and pictures of Tusk, Junker and Markle). Back to studio. May gives grovelling apology to President Trump for confusion over Markle and Merkle. She stands with hand on heart as the Stars and Stripes is played by the band of the Coldstream Guards. Switch to President Trump outside Houses of Parliament. He says …..”my fellow Americans….”

    • 6 June 2019. USA joins the European Union and adopts the Euro and Schengen area. Theresa May makes speech from Downing Street gutter: “drat drat and triple drat!”

  22. NosaCastra’s predictions for 2030…

    Theresa May promises to resign.

  23. No film or pictures of the hatchling yet? Is that because there wasn’t a tan and ginger human skin suit in stock for the wee reptile. Remember Prince George was given a crocodile that hatched on the same day so he could have a playmate.

  24. I am sure that no matter what, the new arrival will overcome the disadvantage of poverty and an unprivileged upbringing.

  25. Excellent nomination by Ron Knee, can’t add anything to that apart from the reminder that this whole royal circus is being paid for by you and me, whether we want to or not. Kings and queens belong back in the seventeenth century. Why do we still allow these parasites to leech off us?

    • To be fair they are net contributors but that’s not the point. When the Queen dies that should be the end of it.

  26. All this baby shit has overshadowed the start of ramaladingdong ….. but in PMQ’s the Treasoner and Steptoe made sure it was mentioned.

    Utter fucking Cunts

  27. Typo methinks Ron.

    You have “Spr” when you should have used a W.

  28. I was quite pleased for Kate and William when they had their children.

    Am totally non-plussed for Harry and Megain.

  29. I consider that the new sprog should be called Terry

    Seems the most appropriate name for a chocolate orange

    Boom, boom

    Cunts the lot of them

    Big Al

  30. Just seen a picture of the little scrounger. Fuck me, he’s as white as a sheet!
    They must have bought him off a pikey.

    • The little scrounger is pure white because both Harry and Meghan are white. The Dark Key posing as Meghan’s mama is an imposter. Either that or she’s an out of work actress paid to play mama so the royal family can virtue signal about how diverse they are while at the same time retain their white supremacist lizard blood line. Cunts.

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