Old girlfriends
I made a big mistake recently and did a Google search for the love of my life 40 years ago. I haven´t seen for decades and she has a fairly common name so it took some time to find her. After the effort, I wish I hadn’t.
The goddess whom I thought was the most beautiful girl in the world all those years ago – and she was – and captivated me has turned into a wrinkly old bag with glasses perched on her nose like an eccentric academic. She seems to spend her time baking as her Instagram account is full of pictures of cakes and scones along with “humorous” comments. There are also some pictures of her husband – an ugly, specky, bald prick with false teeth. The exact opposite of me.
I have had a few other girlfriends since then and have been married for decades but still think first love is true love.
Let´s end with Byron who summed her up in those days although the old bag has probably forgotten me.
There be none of Beauty’s daughters
With a magic like thee;
And like music on the waters
Is thy sweet voice to me:
When, as if its sound were causing 5
The charmed ocean’s pausing,
The waves lie still and gleaming,
And the lull’d winds seem dreaming:
And the midnight moon is weaving
Her bright chain o’er the deep, 10
Whose breast is gently heaving
As an infant’s asleep:
So the spirit bows before thee
To listen and adore thee;
With a full but soft emotion, 15
Like the swell of summer’s ocean.
Nominated by Mr Polly
I looked up an old girlfriend recently.
One of the perks of being a gynecologist….
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Whatever happened to JRR Cuntley?
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He got an ice pick that made his ears burn.
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No more ear’oles anymore…
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How wonderful to see a bit of poetry on here though you could’ve taken the numbers out before you cut ‘n’ pasted, Mr.Polly.
Looking up ex-squeezes is similar to eavesdropping in that you never discover anything pleasant.
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here’s a somewhat different view. ok it’s a bit mushy but i love it
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzWk6cDxeT0
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Mushy. Not a bit. It´s beautiful. Here is another poem read by Tom O´Bedlam. It´s by David Romano and called “If Tomorrow Starts Without Me”. I sent it to my sister-in-law after my brother died last year and hope it brought her some solace.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMMjAbH_W8c
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Great. Thanks.
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One only ex that I give a fuck about… She’s a teacher from Scotland who is now in Japan and has been for several years… She looked like Shirley Maclaine in The Apartment and it was great while it lasted… Nice girl and not a cunt (unlike many others I went out with)…
Still, I’m very lucky to have landed Mrs Norman though…
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On the subject of blokes and their horrible exes… Cunt (and recently cunted) he may be, but ‘Moby’ has gone up ever so slightly in my estimation… For rumbling one of those holier than thou Time’s Up/Me Too/I Me Mine libflake tarts… Of course Saint Natalie of the Holy Portmouth denies this… But then she would. wouldn’t she?…. A Hollywood type acting like a little trollop? (as Connery would say) Shurely Shome Mishtake?… Only matter of time before one of these hypocritical virtue signaling slappers got bitten back on their bony arse… Lovely fucking stuff…
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-48365294
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Natalie Portman is defo a cunt.
I would’ve wedged one up her when she was in Leon, but she can fuck right off now…..
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Of course, had it been the other way round, the social media witches guild would be calling for Moby to be crucified and ‘feeling each other’s pain’ over being ‘victimised’… But because it’s Portmouth and ‘one of their own’ no femstapo fucker will bat an eyelid or front her up for the slag she really is… Not unlike the Johansscunt with her despicable behaviour (dis)regarding Jimmy Franco…
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She was 13 in Leon
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Yeah, a 13 year old playing an 11 or 12 year old. And still a fuck-ugly spoilt brat even then both as actress and character
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In leon? When she was about 10? She have wrote to jimll fixit!👍
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Umm…she was 13 in Leon you nonce.
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Moby has gone up in my estimations for that one-up on Natalie ‘Clapham Junction Quim’ Portman as well.
He’s gone from ‘utterly contemptible fucking cunt’, to just ‘contemptible fucking cunt’.
If he keeps this up he could well be promoted to mere ‘fucking cunt’ by the end of 2019.
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More people have been up Natalie Portman than the Eiffel Tower.
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What’s the difference between Portmouth and the Titanic?
Only 10’000 men went down on the Titanic…
Boom Fucking Boom!
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1,503 but point taken Norman.
Boom Fucking Glug.
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Portperson still looks great but as so often with these Hollywood types it’s what comes out of her mouth that grate.
Mind you, with my 9in todg wedged in there she wouldn’t get much opportunity to speak.
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The thing is that old girlfriends and mates look like old cunts while I have retained the looks of a 25 year old Paul Newman.
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There’s only one thing to say about my old girlfriends – they were all the bloody same. I’ve never felt the need to control anyone, I wanted an equal partnership, and so every relationship I entered into, I acted accordingly. The same thing always seemed to happen. After a certain length of time, it was as though the woman said to herself, “Oh well, if he’s not going to be the boss, I’ll have to be.” And that’s when the games would start, the little tricks, the manipulation. Saying one thing and doing another. Saying one thing one day and another the next. All that kind of shit. There was only one who succeeded in fucking me about to any extent and that was the first one, because I didn’t know what was happening. After that, whenever the games started, I stopped.
When you know what women are all about, you can set your watch by them, because they think the same way, they act the same way, they do the same things in the same order.
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Ex girlfriends. Fucking shitcunts without exception.
I have many faults and done many things wrong in relationships make no mistake. But every fucking cunt which I have fucked have all been the same. Manipulative. Greedy. Superficial. Regardless of profession, social class or creed, those three shit-points are universal.
And not just ex-gfs. These traits have been apparent in in women I have worked with, lived with, members of family, you fucking name it. Always on the take. Always self-entitled. Always assume themselves to be the fair, righteous authority on everything from politics to sex. Fuck off, cunts.
Unlike OP, I cannot profess to there being a ‘love of muh life’. So I have precisley zero inclination to look and see what they are doing now. Preferrably, I won’t see their names again outside of a local newspaper obituaries section.
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May I take this opportuniy to declare my undying love for Mrs. B, the only true girlfriend I’ve had in my life. She’s loving, patient and shows understanding, especially when I stole her vote and added it to the landslide of Brexit Party votes.
She understood it was for her own good and understood it was her civic duty to vote. She’s always understood I’m a right cunt.
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They are usually Ex for a reason. Ex wives are the worst though
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Yes that’s very true, mines a right cunt.
And a mucky old slag to boot.
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A mate of mine keeps shagging his ex-Mrs. (who is married to some other cunt).
What’s the fucking point? You paid her 169 grand to fuck off, now you’re pumping her up again?
Cunt.
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I used to have a crush on a bird in my school days who had the nicest pair if tits I ever saw.
I saw her one time, some many years later and she made the fat slags out of Viz look slim.
Her arse was so big I swear the sun has gone in.
Phew, I thought, well dodged that one. Just goes to show beauty is in the eye of the beholder, until many years later when they start piling on the weight.
Cunts.
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I actually did this a couple of years ago, met up with a cherished ex girlfriend from the 90’s. Pleasant enough, but the adage about never going back applies 9/10. I guess unfinished business sometimes needs to be seen with the eyes not the mind./
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Never go back…… it’s always a mistake and guaranteed to end in crushing and dispiriting disappointment. Old girlfriends turned into Anna fucking Sourberries, the place you grew up and the school you went to overrun with peacefuls and other primitive trash.
In my case, the shock of discovering the cinema where I fingered my first fanny in the back row is now a fucking mosque. I don’t remember what she was like, or even her name, but it doesn’t really matter when your childhood has been shat on by a bunch of cunts.
Leave it behind I say and be grateful you’re not growing up these days.
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Off-topic, and I apologise, but suspicious packages are being found in polling stations &c. Be alert (Britain needs lerts…). Joking apart, I sincerely hope there will be no fatalities (not something I usually say, but polling is sacred, even if it’s a bit illusory).
An elderly gent was the victim of a milkshake attack. Disgusting and cowardly. Despite having worked as a general labourer on a building site, I couldn’t lift the milkshake that would be necessary to d/w The Flabbott…
Whitehall on lock-down because of suspicious package. Also, a toxic old bag wilfully continues to suck the O2 out of the atmosphere in them parts…
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Off to vote now…
Viva Farage and Fuck Steptoe!
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There are only two directions in life. Forward or under. Backward is an impossibility and an irrelevance. Why anyone would want to try and find ex- girlfriends from 40 years ago is beyond me. And then be disappointed because the images constructed in your imagination don’t match reality.The present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind. What did you expect? If anything this nom serves to highlight the pernicious side of the Google Search engine. 50 years ago you might have wondered for a few seconds what happened to the girl you once fingered in the back row of the cinema as a sweaty teenager and then dismissed the thought. Now you “google” the name and hey presto! Like some people I know who get a stomach pain, “google” it, and rush off to see the doctor with suspected colon cancer. Stop wasting your life. It’s tits and bums weather. Go for a nice long, leery walk.
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You might go back because you have forgotten what made you ditch her in the first place. But it’s still there. Don’t bother. Some very true words from cunters above. Love is your DNA’s way of getting you to spread it around, but I’ve never seen that in a poem. Still –
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.
(Omar Khayyam*)
*Iranian…RTC…trigger warning…
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K, you have clearly missed the fact that unlike many posting here I do not tar all Muslims with the same Islamist brush.
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The biggest problem I find with women ex or otherwise is that they are women. Totally barking most of them and without doubt ,cunts to a man.
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I went back out with a bird I was seeing when I was 22 I’m now 58, I finished with her for the exact same reason I did 36yrs ago never go back it wont work.
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All my exes were filthy …took it any which way but lose…how did I end up with a starchy old tart that wont even look at it . Ffs.
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You aren’t Philip May, by any chance ??
Should like to point out that Treesa is not an ex of mine. Very bizarrely, haven’t even had a wet dream about her.
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Yep, I can relate to this. Bumped into an old girlfriend of mine a while ago. Hadn’t seen her for 35 years.
Jezzzzzzusss H Christ, talk about a lucky escape. Put on weight equivalent to a small planetoid, arse the size of Ganymede with her own gravitational field.
Had a lucky escape.
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A mate of mine once said “If they didn’t have cunts we would throw rocks at them”. Always liked that one.
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In some ways, I do miss old girlfriends. One in particular, as she was a right dirty bitch. My wife on the hand, is not a dirty bitch…which is somewhat disappointing.
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