“..go on, enjoy it you cunt..”
‘Enjoy’
When in the name of fuck did it become seemingly compulsory for those serving the food that you’ve paid for to order you to ‘enjoy’ as they walk off with a nonchalance only surpassed by the world champions of arrogance, Parisian Waiters.
Hang on a bastard minute, who the fuck do you think you are ordering me to ‘enjoy’ my food you cunt, you’re only 16, fuck off and get fingered like normal 16 year olds.
I’ll be the judge of whether I will ‘enjoy’ my food.
Of course I suspect this is some ‘Americanism’ that’s crept across the Atlantic, washed up in Londonistan then like all utter modern shite gained traction with the ‘über’ set who’s raison d’etre is to be like soooooo different.
‘Enjoy’. Fuck you. Cunt.
Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface
Equally when I hear customers ask someone working behind a bar or counter and say “Can i get 3 coffees and 2 beers!”
Where the fuck did “Can I get” come from? You’re not actually getting anything; that’s what the cunt behind the bar is paid to do, you cunt!
And yes, I will certainly “enjoy” shoving this bread stick sideways up your cunt you patronising soulless empty headed bimbo.
Have a nice fucking day!
22
The insolent bastards! I refuse to enjoy anything as a matter of principle!
13
Proper northerner
7
Fucking right. I go to DEFCON 1 when I hear ‘Can I get’ on Countdown. No, you dull cunt, stay where you are, Rachel will ‘get’ it for you. Nearly put’s me off my mid-thrap stroke, the cunts.
8
Americans can get away with “Enjoy” because,rather like Labrador dogs,they are genuinely eager to please…thick,fat and greedy too,but certainly eager to please. However,when “Enjoy” comes from some British surly,spotty waiter or fat,malodourous waitress,it doesn’t ring true. They couldn’t give a fuck whether you enjoy your food or not,all they’re interested in is the next break-time when they can update their Facebook status.
However, a lot of the labour that comes from the East European countries still understand the concept of good service. They are prepared to work civilly and diligently,unlike so many of our homegrown lower classes. If I can think of one thing to thank Mr. Blair for,it would be his acceptance that Britain needs these,generally,hard-working immigrants to do the jobs that our own menial class won’t do.
Enjoy and…..Fuck Off.
22
PS….Immigrant labour is also good for the Farmers. Immigrants’ll work hard for peanuts meaning that the Farmer gets to enjoy more of his well-earned subsidy cheque.
Fuck Off
20
Plus they don’t know what minimum wage means, so are easily ripped off on 40p/hr by greedy owners!
10
The good-looking Eastern European lasses’ll give you a gobble for a couple of quid. I’m thinking of importing a couple of sturdy ones to work as my “house-keepers”. Apparently working tax credits’ll mean that it’ll cost me next to nowt…plus I’ll have more time to go hunting,shooting n fishing.
15
Get some earplugs then, Dickie… Because when they start yapping their gibberish at an ear splitting volume (as they do)… There’s many a bird whose pretty face has been ruined by her opening her gob and the eurobabble that they deafen people with…
7
Probably just as well if I can’t understand them, Norman. Some of my previous conquests have been known to make the odd rather unflatterring remark about me. What I don’t know won’t bother me.
9
Also keep an eye on your belongings, because as soon as your back is turned they’ll be off with all your worldly goods.
5
The most they’ll be able to manage is a bow-legged waddle by the time that I’m done. Plenty of time to saddle the horse,loose the hounds,tootle the hunting-horn and chase them to earth.
11
I was in a Green King Pub on Saturday night.
On the menu was ‘Homemade Chicken Goujons’
I asked the waitress who’s house they were made in to which I may as well have asked for a shit sandwich.
I can find cunt in pretty much anything but outright bullshit really fucks me off.
Cunts
15
I hate the Americanisations that have crept into dear old Blighty….
Like in football…. Where did that ‘Assists’ shit come from? They were called crosses when I was a lad… Then there’s the office bullshit… Dropping the ball… At this late stage in the game… Slam dunk… What a load of bollocks…
And the cunts who say about Adidas ‘But, but… It’s a lower case a’ can fuck off…
I don’t care for Germans fucking about with the English language thank you very much…
12
Apparently ball boys at football games are now called “Ball Assistants”, so as not to offend/exclude girlies
10
Somewhat off topic but just read that former PM Gordon “Goldfinger in reverse” Brown is calling for Nigel’s Brexit Party finances to be investigated, due to the possibility of “foreign interference” (i.e. Russian)
That old chestnut didn’t work with the Tango Man, sad desperate cunts…
18
what a surprise!
They see a threat and therefore resort to yet another smear campaign, while trying to get the Fourth Estate to join in with the shit slinging!
Pots, Kettles, Cunts!
16
Caught that on Toady (sic) this morning. Nick Robinson, nasty little twat, was giving Tice a hard time, and talking through his responses – had to abandon his first line of attack as Tice is no fool, and went on to this one. Needless to say, no mention was made of Labour funding ander Blair, nor of the large donations made to the Tories by Ehud Sheleg, shortly before Sheleg became their treasurer this year. Sheleg is an Israeli. His business track record is less than distinguished:
(… Private) Eye 1492 revealed, in the late 1990s and early 2000s he dissolved so many companies, leaving millions of pounds in unpaid VAT, he became known to some as “Alka Seltzer”. (Private Eye)
Nor is that all.
https://morningstaronline.co.uk/article/the-oligarchs-who-fund-the-tory-project-revealed
Foreign donors? Dodgy businessmen? That’s what Cyclops was alleging, without evidence, that Brexit was up to. Why not the Tories? Answer, probably because the Blair-Brown Labour finances were pretty opaque too, and we wouldn’t want to rock the boat, chaps.
15
Robinson has the unfortunate apppearance of a diddler, a Bishop in the Church of Savile.
1
“Can I get …?” is a supreme pissboiler. I haven’t been in a chain selling coffee just about comparable to that from the machine in my canteen lately, but I imagine that these days the counter monkey calling itself a barista* is now trained to respond, “You got it” to that enquiry. In addition to “have a nice day,” that is.
*Where the fulminating fuck did that come from? Does a silly name in any way make up for the humiliation of earning fuck-all selling pretentious coffee to the cunt in the street? Call yourself a barista and I instantly have the measure of your intelligence, in microIQ points. as if your manbun and spots were not sufficient guide.
12
Oh Barista you say? Well i am impressed! 2 sugars and hurry it up knobhead, and fetch me a kitkat as well….
7
What’s the difference between Kirstie Allslop and a Kit-Kat ?
You only get two fingers in a Kit-Kat.
3
The biggest joke is Trainee Barista …. how long does it take to learn how to make a cup of coffee
Just keeps the cunts on sub minimum wages for as long as possible
CUNTS
8
“Enjoy” ! …..cunts. But another even more infuriating is some bearded fuckwit with a man bun using the “what can we get you guys ? ” GUYS!…Who the fuck gave you permission to call me anything other than “Sir” you vacuous arsehole of a cunt !
15
I understand it is Monster Raving Loony Party policy to charge tariffs on all imported Americanisms.
Genius.
Nicely compliments their policy of fitting air conditioning units on the outside of buildings to combat global warming.
Greta Thunberg eat yer cunt out.
17
An equally irritating behaviour is to be experienced in the low class eating establishments (I hesitate to use the description “restaurant”) frequented by those lacking social refinement and confidence or, put more succinctly, people who live on council estates. I refer to the practice of the waiting staff interrupting your half-eaten meal to enquire “is everything alright here?” Not “is your meal OK?” If it wasn’t I wouldn’t eat half of it would I, you fuckwit. I would’ve complained immediately. But that’s not the question. “Is EVERYTHING alright HERE?” How am I supposed to respond to this deliberately vague and vacuous question. Where is “here”? The restaurant? The country? Planet fucking Earth? Everything. An invitation to provide an infinite litany of complaints. No, everything is not alright here. The bank has repossessed the house, the wife has just died and my genital warts are itching again. Away and fuck you moron.
16
At risk of making myself even less popular, you appear to be overfamiliar with the customs in those insalubrious dives. Perhaps your chauffeur or butler informed you, though, in which case my apologies.
10
Morning Komodo. I fear you’ve confused me with a certain Mr Fiddler whom I occasionally see, through the non-too-clean windows of the halal KFC in Ponteland Road, Cowgate, being chauffeured in his antique Rolls. I always wave to him but he pretends not to see me.
4
My worst suspicions confirmed! Mr F is correct in his tactful avoidance of your waving supplication. Being a gentleman, he would not wish further to embarrass someone who has evidently fallen on hard times.
5
I’ve been thnking about Mr Fiddler’s sartorial splendour. I believe he ought to splash out the next time he receives his subsidy cheque. My thought (I know it sounds crazy) but he could dress up as an Orthodox Jew. I can see him now emerging from the Roller what a striking figure he would cut amongst the country set. No need for the ringlets or anything but a smart garbedin (which is really only a nineteenth century ‘frock coat’) knee breeches, hose (round his calves and toes), and topped off with a huge great donut hat the haredi wear. What an entrance he would make sweeping through the vestibule up the stairs to the drawing room.
5
I shall have to start saying ‘Enjoy’ after I’ve dropped off some of the malingering cunts at hospital in the Big Yellow Uber..
9
The other week, I was in Debenhams restaurant in Harrow, the shit hole town I grew up in (never used to be a shit hole of course, until it was invaded by a million cockroaches of the ‘overseas’ persuasion, but I digress) I go there every week to accompany my Mum to get her hair done (she refuses to change hairdressers, despite us moving from said shit hole THREE YEARS ago, but again I digress)
I ordered a solitary large, skinny latte. Upon receiving it, I was told ‘Enjoy’….For the sale of fuck, how much can you possibly ‘enjoy’ a fucking coffee?
It’s a coffee. It has a coffee taste, sputum-looking froth on top and a bit of sugar in it. Anyone would think she was serving me up a briefcase with a million quid and a winning lottery ticket in it.
I find this kind of fake nicety baffling. Firstly, because I am a miserable cunt and can’t be doing with small talk and secondly, because IT IS just so fake. She and her colleagues couldn’t give a single fuck if I ‘enjoy’ my coffee. Nor would I if I was serving the copious annoying, blue-haired wombles in that dump every working day, all talking about who has died recently and how their bunions are really giving them the shits.
I also hate ‘Have a good/nice day’. Some pimple-squeezing scrote said that to me in ‘Next’ last week as I was leaving. He said it like he was reading it off the back of his hand, whilst cheating in his mock GCSE Chemistry and with the enthusiasm of a prospective rectal exam.
Just serve me please, give me my shit and say nowt, thanks very much.
CUNTERY.
14
Cunts in queues too, either fumbling for their card/money or the more dreaded “how are the kids”, holidays, hospital visits and other ailments. This isn’t a coffee morning cunts!
7
Oh God, yes LL. I hate that shit too.
Why can’t people get their shit together before they reach the checkout? Instead they root inside their purse/wallet like it is some bottomless pit for a sodding eternity, keeping every bastard behind them waiting.
Then there are the cunts with vouchers…10p off of sanitary pads or pile cream, sorting through them and tearing them off while the queue is out of the door.
CUNTS!
7
And 6 people in front of me at my local thats popular with diners getting to the front of the queue then asking each other what drink they would like. Why not find out while you were queuing for the last 10 minutes you dozy twats!
And then saying can i get……
Cunts.
11
…while not raising their eyes or thumbs from their bastard phones…
9
Has anyone else encountered those “speaking” self service tills in shops yet? What a colossal pile of wank. The ones in Poundland roar like Brian Blessed and M&S now have Ant & Dec gibbering at you about not forgetting your change,your bag etc. There seems to be this idea that everyone must be kept amused and distracted at all times,even when undertaking menial shite like paying for shopping. Christ on a bike,people might start thinking or something. Now one that uttered relentless profanity and insults might be good…”been squeezing the bread again,you old cunt?” or similar.
2
The poor cunts HAVE to do it.
The management consultancy told the director
And the director told HR
And the HR manager told Training
And Head of Training told the Training Team
And the Training Team told the management intern to write a spreadsheet. He wrote one:
Field A1 reads Compulsory Courtesies by Staff
Fields B12 to 24 contains compulsory courtesies
Fields C12 to 24 are tick boxes
All tick boxes to be filled at end of shift and inspected by supervisor
Who reports to the Training intern
Who reports…
…and the management consultancy accepts a big cheque.
7
I’m seriously thinking about getting the ‘food shop’ for the whole month (the trolley overloaded) then finding one with the longest queue and when the check-out girl asks me if I ‘would you like any help with your packing?’ I will answer ‘Yes, actually I do’. Then proceed to stand back and watch, with the many people queing, her place all my purchases in the many bags that would be required. I might even complain at certain points of her packing skills and say ‘no the eggs need to be on the top so they don’t break’. So she would have to unpack and pack again. I wouldn’t forget my manners though-‘Thanks for your help’.
7
This does not seem to be unexplored territory. You would undoubtedly be in direct competition with the old lady who decides she has the wrong brand of eggs and puts the queue on hold as she drifts off to find the right one, returning ten minutes later with no eggs but a near-sell-by discounted lettuce and then realising she still needs eggs…etc. PS, she pays in individually enumerated pennies.
HINT: the only vacant electronic checkout is the one third from the left which has been specially set up to question your every purchase.
6
I went for a coffee this morning on way back from GP. It’s about the only time I ever go in, but it’s decent, everything seems to be on special offer, excellent coffee only £1-75 for espresso, not filled with student cunts (amazing, considering the location, but it was only half nine, so I guess they were still in their cages, reading Guevara for Fuckwits); no crap such as “Enjoy!”, and the luscious old tabby behind the counter knows I’d be up her like a rat up a drainpipe.
What more could one want ?
3
Saying Enjoy makes them cunts but saying nothing and just dumping said drink in front of you and walking off also makes them cunts. It’s a fine line of cunt this one.
2
I feel the same way about “you’re welcome”, or even worse, “you’re very welcome”
2