Netball.
A very quick non-political, non-religious, non-sexist, non-racist, non-Brexit interlude of a cunting for this pile of old pony.
Netball. More specifically the Beeb’s sad and cynical attempt to ‘big up’ a playground game and represent it as a major sport, because they can’t afford much else and there’s a World Cup coming along.
It’s shite (and I speak as an emeritus professor of know it all with a PhD from ISAC, never having watched a game but seeing the same news clip twice already). A bunch of giggly tarts handing a ball around before it gets to the tall one stood next to the net. Everyone stops. Tall girl puts the ball in the net. All the other girls hop about and cheer. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Sports moment of the year 2018? Hardly.
Netball is no more interesting or relevant than many other ‘keep the kids busy’ pastimes – rounders, cross-country, hide and seek, British Bulldog – that should be illegal beyond the age of 16 (At which age, the boys need to be brushing up on their knife-fighting skills if they are to survive ‘on the street’ and the young ladies can move on to more interesting and useful endeavours; shagging, shopping, cooking, cleaning, nail technology and shagging some more.)
If you can’t live without live prime time netball, get the girls in the office to stand in a line and pass a crumpled sheet of A4 from one end to the other, where the last girl puts it in the bin. Whoopy fucking doo.
At least with rounders nobody in the UK takes it seriously once they have discovered the joys of wanking. (Not so in the US, where the two pastimes seem mutually supportive and go on well into middle age. Baseball? Rounders for fat cunts, no more).
Netball Schmetball. Turn it off immediately and do not, for fuck’s sake, encourage the Beeb in any way. That way lies madness: Wheelchair Netball, Celebrity Netball, Celebrity Netball in a Jungle, Celebrity Comic Relief Para-disabled Netball on ice, Naked Netball on Love Island with Bare Grylls.
Anyway; just had to get that off my chest. It’s been a busy few days and I didn’t want to take Morning Assembly in a foul mood.
Gunner.
Nominated by Gunner Sugden
Used to like watching it at school. Navy blue knickers. Need I say more?
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Brilliant post. Deserves an ISAC award.
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Mmmm, don’t honestly know about this one. Granted that netball’s a cunt, I have to admit that the sight of healthy girls in gymslips working up a sweat is one that I’ve always found, shall we say, stimulating…
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Do you often “stimulate” yourself while watching the Ladies play netball,Ron? You should be careful..the Park-keeper might chase you and it can’t be easy running in a Flashers Mac and crotchless chaps.
🙂 .
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I appreciate your concern Dick. Rest assured that I always exercise maximum care and discretion in these matters, and have never been caught yet.
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may I suggest cutting the legs off an old pair of trousers and holding them in place with sock suspenders, It gives you the look but plenty of freedom with no fear of chafing should a pursuit ensue.
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Excellent suggestion, m’lord. There, perhaps, speaks the voice of experience?
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I used to get an ex to dress in her netball kit before endulging in carnal pleasures. She was 12 years older than me and a game bird for sure. Looked good in the skirt and knee high sports socks for a 40something.
Happy days.
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It works for me. Bit draughty, tho’.
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Good cunting. However, you may have given the Beeb more ideas to fill their schedules with even more shit.
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Fuck old bitch in sainsbury must have been the captain of the school netball team, when she got in front of the reduced section no fucker could get a look in.
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Played by gawky,too-tall,titless,plain-as-a-pikestaff virgins or bull-dyke Clare Balding type clitty-botherers. Both of these types know that no Real Man wants them,so they play this game to give themselves the chance to relieve their pent-up sexual frustrations in the post-game showers. Netball is the female equivalent of Men’s High Diving…a sport only enjoyed and watched by The Gays and the socially backward…and “”footy fans”.
Fuck Off.
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I think Charlie Chaplin once said. Big tits and innocence is a powerful cocktail. Add navy blue knickers with pubes sprouting out the side.😬😬😬
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It’s a little known fact that ex Liverpool, Real Madrid and Manchester City footballer Steve McManaman was once bitten by a radioactive Steve McMana…..
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Can’t agree with this nom at all Gunner. Netball should be made prime time viewing. The joys of wanking and netball are synonymous as far as I’m concerned. It’s the short skirts, tight knickers and bouncy sports bras. I grant you a few paper bags with eye holes are needed in some cases but that just adds to the excitement. It even comes with its own position guide. It’s a goal shooter alright. Let me put my balls in your net dear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvG_A46c_nk
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Thanks for posting , if I got the chance to spend an hour with the GA floozy, when my opportunity came to “shoot ” I wouldn’t miss.
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Miranda Hart comes to mind. I bet she was was the ‘tall girl’ in the team. Maybe she used the time (waiting to put the ball in the net) to improve, perfect her ground breaking comedy. If it is the case we owe a huge debt of gratitude to netball.
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Much prefer womens beach volleyball but can’t think why.
Oh yes its the peachy bent over arses though the beeb try not to film it these days as hetero gazing by blokes is disgusting.
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Although I cannot agree with this cunting, as in any sports involving gym clad women bouncing around has got to have value.
However, considering ‘sports’ that should be banned after reaching 13,it reminded me of BMX freestyle competitions, fucking 30 year old men dressed as teenagers, with the inevitable baseball cap worn back to front, all sporting half grown patchy stubble, now there is a bunch of cunts
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Great shout, Hugh. May I venture to suggest that you expand your worthy view on the matter into a full on cunting in its own right?
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I used to love netball and was a centre forward team captain at my Convent school for several years. My school master dad cycled over 75 miles at weekends earning extra money to keep me there. Netball was the only nice part. The nuns were nasty little Hitler’s, every single one of them especially Mother Superior. The dinners were home grown, home cooked and shit. Not enough pennies for bus fare, so I had to walk the three miles there, three miles back, rain, snow, hail was no deterrent. Financial hardships meant the school heating was hardly ever on. Netballing days were a light relief from the misery.
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Oh yes, netball… or poor man’s basketball!
Shite sport, but like most other posters here, have fond memories during my school days watching 14, 15 and 16 year old girls dressed in their regulation PE kit (at a time when short pleated skirts were acceptable) hopping, skipping and jumping around in the school gym trying to get a ball through a hoop; or out on the playing fields playing rounders.
I was never bothered about who won, fielding positions or what the rules were; just so long as I could get a good glimpse of blue or white cotton knickers; or a braless bouncing boob from these silly young tarts I was happy for the rest of the day (and night!)
But these days – couldn’t give two fucks (or wanks, whichever comes first)
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In Them Days Ncfom, us girls would have thought wanking was a misprint for winking.😝
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I thought Wanking was a town in China until at 13, I found a discarded copy of ‘Mayfair’. Ah, those were the days!
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It has surprised me lostsheep that you are female. To avoid confusion, I thought you might have chosen “lostewe” as a handle? Like myself, I thought the site would have consisted of curmudgeonly old men. Can ladies be curmudgeonly?
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Good point Bsc. I can’t speak for the other straight women on here, but ISAC is the only site I partake in and suits me ‘down to the ground.’ Never been a fan of other Womens company, even more so now. I agree about the name, it’s a poor choice made in haste before I understood the true nature of the site. Apparently I’m unable to change it so stuck with it. Ma&Pa haven’t stopped turning in their graves, all that wasted money!😆
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You can change your name Lostsheep… at least you could last time I looked. Your first comment under a new name would be moderated, but should be ok after that.
Maybe Admin could advise?
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Thanks RTC, didn’t realise. I’ll try that.
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🐑 🙂 Interesting.
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@ Bluntspeakingcunt
I am aware of at least 6 ladies who sporadically post on ISAC. Only yesterday I was rebuked for misgendering one such…
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Perhaps RTC, for identification and in order not to offend anybody, we should attach a little blue or pink circle to all postings. I suggest a 🌈 symbol for anyone else who doesn’t fit those two categories.
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But doesn’t a little mystery still figure Bsc..
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I believe everyone knows what’s in store for them on this site. Attaching identity tags for fear of offending will surely risk losing the sites uniqueness. It’s a breath of fresh air that I personally feel we should not curtail.
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Am not aware of any trannies posting here BSC, but there are 4 gays… much to Mr Fiddler’s delectation 😂
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Please feel free to give me a quick wink.
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Ha ha ha!! Oooo, you aaare norty SHC.🤗🤗🤗
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lostsheep@7pm. A good point lostsheep.
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Merci Beaucoup Bsc.
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WTF my handle has changed from an orange symbol baring all teeth to a pink symbol suckin’ on something! WTF has happened admin?
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Like embroidery, hop-scotch, and rugby it’s a pastime for girls and latent hòmos, isn’t it. Like the aforementioned, it requires fuck-all skill. Netball could be massive as it’s a spectator sport for for fellers (watching lithe ladies chucking a ball about) and women, as opposed to rugby (fellers watching muscley men chucking a ball about).
Throw in diving and you could have a Batty Boy Olympics, though the stench of Patchouli oil and Ralgex for be stifling.
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Fuck Netball, I like watching the ladies play hockey… I’d even bang one of the ugly ones as long as they wore the kit to bed…
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But would you stick your tongue up her ass ? Or is that just the attractive ones ?
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That’s a treat specifically reserved for the ladies who cook, clean, iron, and suck my balls. 😁
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Don’t weaken in your resolve sir, 😜
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A bit hasty cunting this sport, as i’m partial to the tall leggy girls (and sometimes even women). Not sure many of girls who played it at our school were titless muff-divers, they seemed pretty healthy. The only improvement would be trampolining, which my friend Liam used to attend just to watch the year elevens.
Fucking perv’
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*harrumph* disgraceful behaviour on your friend’s part sir *cough* the man is without doubt a disgraceful bounder.
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Do they swap shirts at the end of the game?
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