Butchers who try to rip you off when you buy a couple of slices of Gala pie are Cunts.

I was up on the Scotch side today and stopped at a small, award-winning, family butchers. I asked for a couple of rump steaks,some Lorne sausage,black pudding and burgers. It certainly wasn’t cheap,but looked good. As she was bagging it up,I got my eye on some Gala pie and asked for a couple of slices, she lifted the loaf down and cut a couple of slices with her back to me and wrapped them up…but,unfortunately for her, I’d seen that she’d used the crusty end bit as one of my slices. When she put the wrapped package on the counter and asked for the money, I unwrapped it in front of her,and poked at the crusty slice….

“I don’t want that,it’s got no egg and is mostly fucking pastry”
“Oh, I didn’t realise…a lot of our regulars like the end-bit”
“Well, I fucking don’t…especially at your prices.”

The old shrew pulled that disapproving,pinched face that only a true Scottish woman can manage,sighed loudly,and sliced a fresh slice….Fair enough.

As I was driving back,it just reminded me of when I worked down in the Lake District in the eighties. Some of the pubs operated two price lists, one for locals and one for tourists. Didn’t really bother us because they knew that we weren’t tourists and they made good money anyhow out of a dozen big drinkers coming in most nights for a meal and a sup,but I’d occasionally hear strangers questioning the prices that they were being charged when they heard what a “local” was paying compared to what they’d paid….must admit, if they’d tried it on with me,I’d have played Holy Fuck,but most tourists just meekly accepted it.

It also minded me of the dark-skinned shopkeeper who tried to give me change for a tenner when I knew that I’d given him a twenty. As soon as I saw what he’d given me, I said “How…ye”,before I said another word he gave me the missing tenner. He knew exactly what he’d done, cheating Cunt.

Fuck Off.

Nominated by Dick Fiddler

76 thoughts on “Butchers

  1. When I worked part time in the local delicatessen, over 30 years ago, we were taught always to remove the end crust from a gala pie for that very reason.

    Dirty, swindling Scottish harridan.

  2. Reminds me of uncle monty in withnail & I, “as a youth i used to weep in butchers shops”….

    • Wonder how much it has cost the Police to have a presence outside the Embassy for all these years?

      • Afternoon, RTC!
        Yes, I’d read £12 somewhere, but K’s Evening Standard link suggests £15mio.
        Either way, that’s a lot of potholes fixed/school books purchased/MP’s salaries* paid for.

        Alternatively, and more accurately¹, that’s a lot of contraventions of the Theft Act 1968/Offences against the Person Act 1868/Criminal Damages Act 1971* left inadequately investigated.

        *take your pick

        Presumably these Cossors would have been paid in any case, there was no new recruitment. A “hidden” cost, and an unavoidable matter of priority. Certainly, were Mr Assange wealthy enough, he should (and could) be invoiced. confereThe Chinese invoice the next-of-kin for State executions in eligible cases of criminal offenders (seriously: and it was about £80 when I was there). Harsh, but fair!

      • Howdy doody CS.

        Complete fucking waste of police resources. Armed officers who could otherwise have been usefully deployed elsewhere, gunning down scum like Anjem Choudary or cunts wearing white poppies for example.

        A couple of plain clothes constables equipped with tasers, one at the front, one round the back, would have been more than sufficient to keep tabs on a narcissistic flake like Assange.

      • Absolutely correct RTC. So if I understand the figures between the Assange bollocks and the Mccanns that’s around £25 million quid of publicly funded coppers to achieve the grand sum of fuckall. Meanwhile the stabathon gains pace. This country is run by cunts.

      • Hahaha, white poppies.

        An ex-neighbour wore one for relatives who perished during the bombing of Dresden.

        All i could think of was a 1;72 scale model of a Lancaster and gingerbread houses.

      • Evening Mr Creampuff!

        Indeed so, or better yet, and more frugally, just rely on Junior Police 5¹ to monitor the more-than-adequate closed-circuit television surveillance of the Ecuadorian Embassy’s Hans Place address (inter alia).

        ¹I allude here, (for greater clarity and to avoid backlash from the estate of the late Shaw Taylor), to the domestic agency responsible for his minding, more widely-known as MI5, headed up by Andrew “Nosey” Parker.

        I’ve just scored some delicious weed, btw. Locally-grown, and rich as fuck in the relevant cannabinoid isomers. Lovely!


      • Either way, the Assange stitch up will serve as a stark warning to anyone else thinking of exposing criminal wrongdoing by the American Government.

        PS: enjoy the weed CS, I’m currently on detox….

      • Before the police guard was (cough, partially) lifted in 2015, £11.1 million. Hope his costs reflect that. And there should be a 7-year hotel bill from the embassy, I feel.

      • I see that the Cunt got “further arrested” on behalf of the USA after he was arrested! What a lark. I didn’t realise you could get arrested when you’d already been arrested.

        What could be worse than being arrested? Being arrested! What a steptoe looking Cunt.

    • I am trying to get my head round “Violating international conventions and daily protocols”
      Do you think he might be one of those cunts that doesn’t flush the bog and after seven years they got fed up with him ?

    • I expect craigmurray.org has gone into overdrive, thanks for the heads-up. (Though I doubt I would have missed it. I wonder if the press will play this down, asap, or t’other way round?)

      I’m going to break my resolution to eschew that particular pile of steaming horseshit, and I look forward to much mirth at the apoplexy, anguish and agonising this will provoke; Sharp Ears will need to turn up her nebulizer!

      Much bubbly to come….

      • Don’t know whats brilliant about it komodo he being imprisoned for exposing war crimes basically

        Hes not a rapist Jcl he was flubbed for having sex without a condom not brutal rape

      • The guy is/was no rapist, but is (and surely was) a narcissistic bellend, who thought he could walk on water.
        Those things he revealed made no wider difference than my last dinner party (possibly less), but it was illegal for him to do so. Such an act belies a type of indulgent “orgy” of personal self-worth (to be charitable, and somewhat Jungian) but little more.

        It is a pity, as much of what he published needed airing (somehow), but the stupid little silver fox fanny-licking popsicle has actually set his own (and others’) agenda back 25 years.

        He is (or:was) one of those fools who misjudged the “progress” made since 1945. In fact, it has been minimal. He is, in fine, a bit of a tit who thinks/thought he had an IQ of 140, when in fact it was 114.

        Fuck him, he’s done/is doing his cause a great dis-service. Twat.

      • @ TS –
        Just to add to CS’s comment: he’s not being done for exposing war crimes, or even for publishing US state secrets, some of which *could well have been damaging to US interests in other ways. He’s being done for jumping bail and conspiring to hack a secure US government network. The US has to handle this one with fireproof tongs in case the Washington Post, which did some of the publishing, starts invoking the First Amendment.

        He’s not even being worked over by his bail bond holders for dropping them in the shit.

        As CS says, he’s damaged his own cause, if that is anything to do with forcing greater government transparency and honesty, rather than setting himself up as some kind of saviour.

        *not that much as far as I could see, and there was some suggestion that he’d filtered what he did release to suit third parties’ interests.

      • “He’s not being done for exposing war crimes”

        He kinda is tho they don’t say that outright what exactly hes being tried for its not just that but also the whole hes a putin agent who helped trump illegally win the elections by publishing damaging info on hilary. msm has been running that narrative

        Whatever it doesn’t really matter anymore I was just disgusted Trump threw him under the bus yesterday saying I kno nothing about wikileaks pfft what a liar

  3. Scottish black pudding is lovely, last time I was in the land of the sporran I decided to buy a few pounds to freeze. “30 slices of pudding please”, after a pause for thinking the pie munching assistant declared that she couldn’t let me have half the stock because regulars might have to go hungry. Fuck the regulars, they should get up before midday then! Is that any way to run a fucking butchers? I feel your pain Dick. Maybe they don’t like you with your dandy english ways and fancy clothes?

    • Must admit that I’ve always found the Scots just over the Border…Melrose, Jedburgh etc. far more “Scottish” than further up. I struggle to understand their accent sometimes,it’s so thick. No bother at all when I’m up around Perth and area.
      I’m convinced that the Border Scots are terrified that someone mistakes them for English.

      • Good nom, DF. The late Clarissa Dickson-Wright, herself of the Butchers Guild, will be wobbling in her grave.

        Perhaps you might consider changing your moniker to Dick Fiddlee?

      • You have to realise, Dick, the Scottish would rather get the money via the Barnett Formula. It saves all that face to face interaction with the English.

  4. Once in Wales going back to 1995 I ordered cheese on toast in a Welsh Cafe, £1,80 mind, taffy bitch arrives with one minuscule slice of toast with a couple of microns of processed cheese spread over it.

    To this day I am still not sure this actually happened even though it happened to me.

    If I want to be robbed blind for a tiny portion of food I will go to a fucking top notch restaurant ffs.

  5. I have to watch our butchers like a hawk these days. Bought 4lbs of mince and 2lbs of sausages 6 months ago and they ripped me off for a quid. Cunts.

  6. The last time I ate in a posh restaurant I ordered roast Pelican.
    Actually it wasn’t bad, but the bill was fucking huge….

  7. I was in an Irish restaurant and I asked the waiter how they prepared their chickens.

    He said, “ we just tell them straight out they’re gonna die.”

    • Ah poor chickens. Now they know how a turkey feels when it catches Bernard Mathews grinning at it.

  8. Can’t cunt my local butcher. Family firm with very high standards and top quality meat. No thumb on the scales, affordable and on good terms with the customers. Gala pie (= veal ham and egg pie?) is one of my all-time dislikes, but charging full whack for the crust end is criminal.

    • Agreed. My local butcher is superb. Good quality, locally sourced meat at about two thirds the price of Tesco.

      Speaking of which, Tesco deserve a thorough cunting. The wankers pump their chicken full of water to make it weigh more, and whenever I have been enough of a cunt and gone and bought some from them, I inevitably find I have to cut about a third of it off as it is so fatty, unlike the decent stuff from my local.

  9. You’ll have to hide that Gala pie away in the near future Mr F. Once Sharia law arrives and they find that stuff on you, you could be charged with possession and intent to supply. The penalty could mean being dragged naked through the streets of Alnwick, 50 lashes and extra prayers. ( although knowing Alnwick, it would probably be the most exciting thing to happen there for years). For serial offenders, the punishment could be even worse.

    • I used to keep a few Greggs sausage rolls in the pickup to lob at Peaceful people when I had to occasionally go into Newcastle. Stopped when someone pointed out that there was so little pork in them,the buggers probably wouldn’t give a shit.

      • The scummy, islamified bastards are partial to bacon sandwiches. I’ve seen the self praising, hypocritical cunts myself.

  10. the local Butchers near where I work is heaven!
    Bacon that goes in the pan and comes out the pan the same size.
    Traditional sausages with real meat in them, and the pies! The steak and kidney pies, best described as so packed with meat when they are cold they cut like pedigree chum.

  11. O’Shithead sermon for the morning:

    All Leave MPs should be disqualified from appearing on the MSM because they are “all proven liars”. (Show me a politician who isn’t – Ed.)

    He was particularly outraged that David Davis was interviewed on Radio 4 Today programme this morning.

    Poor diddums. 😰

    • Quite like Nick Ferrari but turn off as soon man of the people James o’cunt gets on. I used to listen to him now and again but now the sound of his voice is hard to listen to. What a cunt.

  12. Julian Assange is a total cunt. They will need to sandblast that embassy.

    The dodgy Aussie cunt looks weird. I have not watched the footage yet but I will later!

    Popcorn at the ready……..

    Yesterday wikileaks were complaining of leaks.

    No,me neither.

  13. Actually, it has just been on. The cunt was raving at Mr Plod. Diddums you total and utter bell end cunt. He is wanted for rape. Lefties,come on,get your protest going.

    • The Swedes decided they didn’t want him for rape after all. Might have been an issue with his personal hygiene in their nice clean jails. But we’ve convicted him of jumping bail (sentencing date to be set) and the Yanks have charged him with conspiracy with Chelsea Womanning to hack their secrets. So it’s all looking bright now.

  14. Butchers are all dodgy bastards. Smiling and chatting while chopping up a pig. I’d sooner trust an MP.

    Hoo-eee, what a bunch of murderers.

    • Get down to Butcher Hamza’s and get yourself some of mixed lamb and goat burgers. He is having a Terminator theme and you get 10% off if you say ‘Halal be back’

  15. “Pinched Scottish face”. We’re you in the forces and visited the antipodes? As my termagant Jock mum has a scowl that can peel paint and was fond of men in uniform.
    In regards to short changing my local shop owner has a thing for young checkout girls and though most are Portuguese like himself it’s only the blonde Skippy girls that try it on. The Chinese shopkeeper always tries to rip you off with either short changing or higher prices for non Chinese, but I always steal an item or two to even the score.

  16. Is this a cunting for the inconsistencies of gala pie (pork & eyeball as we used to call it), border Jocks, grasping Lake District landlords or ‘corner’ shopkeepers?
    Butchers does not seem to cover it.

    • You’re right, CC., but even if I was allowed 3 “Cuntings” a day,it wouldn’t be enough to keep pace with the vast array of people who offend my sensibilities. I just have to shoehorn as many as I can into each nom. or I’d be swamped.

  17. Sorry to go off topic once again but
    Israel Folau has been sacked from the Australian rugby union team for posting homophobic comments on Social media. On Wednesday, he posted on Instagram that “drunks, homosexuals, adulterers, liars, fornicators, thieves, atheists and idolaters” should “repent” because “only Jesus saves”, and made similar remarks on Twitter. All I can say is, get praying all fellow ISAC’S as there’s not a single one of us who’s gonna reach those pearly gates.

  18. Fuck me, is that the “homophobic” comments i’ve been hearing about. That’s just a list of sinners who this bible basher thinks won’t make it to heaven. Is this what he is in the shit for? Free speech, democracy…….all confined to the history books.

  19. I’m a tight bastard these days… Fuck the local Butchers, my two local Butchers are either Lidgate’s where a steak is around £15 and a snack bar type where I can’t get pork.
    I now get up at 4am once every month to six weeks and go to Smith fields wholesale meat market and Billingsgate Fish market… Unbelievably cheap and high quality as well, fill the freezer up. It shows how much the local Butcher’s/Fishmongers rip you off.

    • If any cunter wants me to pick up some meat/fish for them simply transfer me money and I’ll get you some. I’m a good honest chap and you can rest assured that I will buy some quality meat and fish for myself with your money.

      • Not really using the bank at the moment RTCP, I’ll pass on my Nigerian friend Walter M’laragu who has this great payment method offer…he sends you a cheque for £2000 you give him £2000 cash and you get the meat fish for free.

      • Put me down for a load of tripe and some red herrings please.

        I’ll see you right on payday.

  20. As if we needed another reason to hate the French….here goes….

    On a school trip to France many moons ago, we’d stopped somewhere and were allowed to get off the minibus to stretch our legs. It was a warm day and we were all a bit parched. As luck would have it, there was a small convenience shop close by. One of the older boys who was good a French went in there and bought a big bottle of lemonade. I asked him how much it was and as luck would have it, I had enough Francs to complete a similar transaction. So off I sauntered to said shop to buy myself some lemonade. Trouble was, my French was (and still is) a bit crap. Detecting a non-fluent speaker would was ripe for a rip off, the exact same bottle of lemonade ended up costing me considerably more than the other boys’. Bastard conniving inbred weasel French shopkeeper cunt. Yeah, all these years later I’m still bitter about that experience and from that day to this, fuels my dislike for the French.

    • I use a different technique, I normally go into french shops and smile and say sprekenzi deuche?
      They say no, I put on a funny accent and say “Maybe little English” and guess what 9/10 they can speak English

      • Never payed for a fucking thing on a school trip to anywhere, simply mobbed the shop and robbed the cunts blind.

  21. I’d like to add Halal butchers to this cunting.
    Halal is an extremely barbaric and cruel way to slaughter animals.
    The only animals which deserve to be killed using the Halal method are Halal Butchers themselves.

    • Kosher slaughter is exactly the same process, except that the Jews do not pronounce the name of their god over the victim. Muslims regard kosher meat as halal, and can eat it. Trust you will no longer discriminate against kosher butchers in your condemnation…

    • My local one now has shelves above the meat counter with a range of discounted tinned vegetables. Peas be upon them..

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