Alcohol Guidelines

Alcohol Guidelines, or more importantly the consumption of, deserves a cunting. I was always of the opinion that men could ‘safely’ drink more than women, based on absolutely factually confirmed details such as metabolism, weight etc. Well it would appear no longer.

Seems that from August 2016 the government published new guidelines reducing men’s ‘safe’ units from 21 to 14 to be in line with wimminz.

So there at the brush of a stroke all wiped away the basic fact that men and women are not the fucking same. But rather than admit to that, easier to pretend that they are, especially in today’s ‘equal’ society.

Same applies to everything else in life, alcohol aside. Dunno about you, but if I was caught in a fire who would I rather have trying to rescue me? Surely physicality has to form part of the selection process to be able to do a specific job? Just sweeping it all away under the mantra ‘men and women are equal’ is complete and utter bollocks.

You can’t change basic biological facts you ignorant cunts. Why can’t we just embrace them and move on.

Nominated by Bellendiousmaximus

46 thoughts on “Alcohol Guidelines

  1. I met Sharron once, about ten years ago. She is a big girl and fit as fuck. No tranny would pick a fight with her, trust me.

  2. I have already applied to help with the testing/examination process.

    No idea what a testosterone looks like, but I can tell the difference (or at least I used to be able to) between ball bags and minge.

    Hope I didn’t dribble too much on the application form.

  3. I think the guidelines are very reasonable.. I can certainly live with 14 units a day.

    • I remember hearing somewhere that the medical establishment admitted to pulling the ‘safe’ drinking figures out of their collective arses.

      • It does say week CnR but still 14 old fashioneds or,beers, gin n tonics a week isn’t too bad either

        probably moggie wouldn’t doubt it the whole red wine is good for your heart thing was another scam to get people drinking more wine and it worked! I’m proof of it

      • Surely it’s a straight line relationship of n pints to body weight. Publish a table of weights in 10 kg increments and the appropriate number of pints.

        The far bints can figure it out for themselves

    • It’s part of our 5 a day , in my part of the world it’s snake bite , half cider (apples) half larger (hops) taken via mouth 8 pints a time . Fuck me that’s mint 7 days per week just what Dr umbongo proscribed

  4. That rugby bloke who is getting it for being homophobic apparently……. How come no one is sticking up for the drunks, adulterers, liars, thieves, fornicators, atheists and isolators???????

  5. I always thought that the swimming and life saving lessons that I had as a kid, were a complete waste of time. That was until the day I was walking along the canal tow path whilst wearing my pyjamas and happen to drop my brick….

  6. What the fuck is a unit of alcohol? Whenever I go to the doctor they ask me how many units of alcohol I drink each week. How would I know when I am so shitfaced I can’t remember what I had to drink, never mind how much?

    • After my nicking for drink driving many moons ago I went on a alcohol awareness thing to reduce my ban…….. Don’t know why I did I haven’t driven since, but I was told that one unit is a 1/4 of a pint apparently

      • The easiest way to work out how many units you’ve drank is the following:

        volume in ml X % abv/1000……..so a pint (568ml) of 4.5% beer would be the equivalent of 568 x 4.5/1000=2.556 units

        Of course, for this to work you have to have the faintest clue what you’ve drank, still be in a position to count and give a fuck, otherwise it’s all academic.

      • If I only had 4 units per week instead of 14 for the last 10 years, does that mean I can now ‘average out’ and have 24 units/week for the next 10 years ?
        Fucking marvelous 🙂 🙂 🙂

    • Fucking good one. I’m going to use that next time they call me in for a lecture.

  7. Transgender athletes are competing against the sport’s women, yet I have yet to see transgenders competing against the sport’s men. I wonder why, or have I missed something.

  8. Just more “Nanny knows best” bollocks from a government that can’t resist poking it’s beak into every aspect of peoples’ lives….usually with the aim of finding an excuse to slap a tax increase on whichever dubious pleasure the “common” man may be still enjoying…Bunch of puritans and liars.

    I had to go for a medical several years ago before a job that I did for Electricity Alliance. When the Doctor asked my alcohol intake, I halved the true figure and knocked off 20 units…he looked appalled….” That’s rather a lot for a week”,the lily-livered Quack opined…. “Oh no, Doctor,I thought you meant monthly” I lied….Didn’t have the heart to tell him it was more like 3 days worth.

    Fuck them.

  9. If women want equality then just have a one gender sport, seems fair enough.
    Women would just have to ‘man up’

    I wonder how many women would make any olympic final, a big fat zero, or even qualify for the olympics in the first place lol!

  10. Make sure we all live longer and cost less to the NHS, whoopee.

    Downside you’ll spend the last years of your life working a job you can no longer physically do and\or live in grinding poverty because your pension is actually worth……….fuck all.

    • And we are not even allowed a visit to Dignitas to end it all with a free bowl of Cheerios.

  11. An alcoholic is someone who either:
    Drinks more than their doctor
    or:
    Drinks more than you do.

    Guidelines are all bollocks. Some people are more prone to harm than others. Anyone who gets violent after a drink shouldn’t drink. Or at least confine themselves to town centre mayhem with like minded cunts.

  12. Guidelines from the biggest piss heads in town.
    Get to fuck.

    In other news ……..
    Philip Hammond re. Brexit fiasco.
    ” In a years time, when this is behind us , and people are focused on other things , all this will be forgotten. ”
    In your fucking dreams you traitorous Cunt, in your fucking dreams.
    Good afternoon.

  13. Hammond, together with Treason May and John Bercunt, should be dragged from the House of Commons in the same way that tramp Assange got evicted from the embassy. Scumcunts, the fucking lot of them.

  14. Forgotten??? Even if they win their second rigged referendum it will never be forgotten. Especially as they will be crowing like fuck for the next ten years. Too late Hammond, the damage has already been done you fucking cunt.

  15. I think it’s time to celebrate peoples differences. I mean men are generally different to women. We can throw and use power tools, women are far more efficient than us at changing nappies and I commend them for that. White people seem to be able to swim better than blacks but blacks seem to be able to run faster, it’s all good stuff.

    Some Catholics seem to have a thing for buggering children, some muslims blow themselves up efficiently while some jews collect wealth very well at the expense of peace in the world. What I am trying to say is people are all different, some things good, some things bad.

    On a different note the only viable plan left for Brexit is to use our right to revoke article 50. Once we have done that we should take part in the European elections. Then we can veto everything the European union wants to do, you know really fuck with the cunts. Once we’ve fucked it up for them then we should ask to leave again, that way we will be bargaining from a good standpoint. Fuck them all royally.

    Goodnight

    • The blacks seem to swim pretty well when their boat sinks in the Med or the Channel.

      • This is purely an observation; they don’t seem to swim that well. On the other hand they are more successful at running after an articulated lorry.

      • They’re good at running because back in the day, they had to chase there dinner/supper and kill it.
        It was how they evolved that makes them idle, living in sunnier climates than ourselves, they never had to think about keeping warm. Apart from catching a meal, all they had to do was lay about in the sun , and procreate.

  16. The news item says of Dr Rachel McKinnon, who is the the first transbender to have won a world championship event in women’s sport “…still has her male anatomy”

    Such utter fuckwittery. It’s an affront to reporting, the enlightenment and the English language. And me

  17. Churchill drank from morning till night but only lived till he was 90 thus proving alcohol does actually kill you.
    Hammond is a sneaky cunt.

  18. Do you know what’s more dangerous than 14 units of alcohol (which I have consumed in a single sitting over an hour ago and am still going now, not the slightest bit pished… yet)?

    Getting stabbed with an 18″ zombie knife!

    Which one do you think Sadiq Khan is more worried about?

    I rest my case…

    And now forra cheeky bottle of Theakston’s XB. A lovely ruby ale after a few Old Peculiars and a few fingers of Dalwhinnie…

  19. I am quite happy to take 14 units per week as a guideline….and will take that as a lifetime average.

    From the age of 0 to 16, my intake was negligible.

    From 16 to 18, it would have been no more than 5 to 10 units per week.

    So that gives me quite a credit against current consumption. Where there is a past credit, a future credit must also allowed to keep things in balance.

    I will also add my period of abstinence between the ages of 110 and 250 into the mix.

    My average is still under 140 units.

    Simples

  20. This is fine for men and women but they leave us completely in the dark about acceptable weekly intake for the thirty odd transbender sexes in between.

  21. I genuinely don’t drink much. 14 units a week would see me permanently pissed as I am no longer habituated. On informing the harridan doctor’s receptionist that I’d maybe had 4 units in the previous three months, I got the impression of total, incredulous, utter disbelief, and she asked me to repeat that. There followed the ‘tut’ of someone forced to co-operate in a deception as she recorded my intake. I imagine she was hungover.

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