Positive Thinking

I’d like to nominate the cult of Positive Thinking.

Yes, it helps in certain circumstances, but there’s growing evidence that thinking positively about ‘high impact’ scenarios can be very dangerous. On a personal level, if you have a difficult cancer that responds to very few treatments and convince yourself and your children everything will be okay and don’t have contingency plans, you are, in all likelihood, in for a bad time, as are your children.

On a socio-economic level, if the CEO and gang of bank executives go on positive thinking seminars and ignore the scientifically-minded quants and other analysts, you get into a mindset that ignores the warning signs and pretends everything is ‘just fine’, the system works and your mathematical models are accurate, until we get a financial crash or similar disaster.
This seems to be a real problem in corporate America but friends in banking and tech comanies have told me it has become very much a problem here.

‘Hope for the best, prepare for the worst’ doesn’t seem to register with these cunts.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime

77 thoughts on “Positive Thinking

  1. 🎶 don’t worry about a ting
    ‘cos every little ting is gonna be alright 🎶

    All very nice when you are puffing da ganja bruv, but in the real world being positive means keep your mouth shut, don’t think, don’t ask questions and do as you are fucking well told.
    Ooooh let’s all be positive about staying in the EU, the denial of democracy, unending mass immigration, the spread of trannyism, on and on and on.
    Just sit down and watch this nice programme on the telly and let’s not be negative. Oh look there’s an interesting programme about men’s mental health. You should watch this dear, what with all your negativity about everything. We don’t want the Thought Police knocking on the door do we?

    • I would have loathed being a corporate Pollyana. The trouble with work these days is they try to dress it up as an extension of school, with the fucking crap of “team building”, paintballing etc. I suppose to try to hide the fact that the poor fuckers will be working till they are 80.

      If Always Look On The Bright Side Of LIfe is the new mantra I’d like to replace it with There Are Bad Times Just Around The Corner, because it is truer.

      On a happy note Dominic Gladys GRieve lost his vote of confidence last night so perhaps the slack jawed dimwitted fucker will now just fuck off

    • Great cunting. The cult of enforced positivity has long been one of my bugbears.

      All it takes to succeed in the modern workplace is a can-do attitude (just make sure you’ve lined up a suitable scapegoat for when it inevitably all goes wrong), a willingness to stay on message, no matter how wrong or ridiculous the message, an upwardly-focused mind set (make sure you kiss the arses of the ‘right’ people) and a readiness to stab anyone and everyone right between the shoulder blades if it’ll be to your personal benefit – just make sure that you keep on smiling all the while.

      Oh, and you needn’t worry about being honest, decent, intelligent or even competent. Those things are all outmoded qualities that will only serve to ruin your chances of progression up the corporate ziggurat. And that’s ALL that matters, isn’t it?

    • Brilliant!
      We’ll get what we want in the end, we’ll just expose the Traitors along the way, or is that just me being a positive thinking cunt?

  2. Positive thinking? Something the yanks came up with, some air head californian yoga teacher no doubt! No for me, always think the worst, always be cynical always be suspicious, always pop the fucking bubble and stare reality right in the fucking face! Always be the manure in the rosebed! That way nothing hits you from behind, never the shock when someone stabs you in back, you knew it was coming. Positive thinking is unpatriotic and for silly cunts:)

  3. It’s an excuse to be ignorant. Ignorance is bliss and all that shite!
    A balanced view is always best in the long run.

  4. When does positive thinking become just blind optimism?…….Possibly at the same point as when Brexit Leavers believe that some miraculous new scenario is going to present itself with the death of May’s deal? Yep,suddenly a totally empty glass (revoke Article 50 or a new fixed referendum) is better than a half-full one where at least it was a starting-point?

    Fuck Off.

    • April 12th. No deal. The EU want us out before the elections.
      Cautiously optimistic about that one, but i’m not sure May’s deal is completely dead, but i don’t think anyone voting leave voted for that shite.

  5. Every cunt keeps on about this “deal” which May has pulled out her ass but what actually is so bad about it?

    Will it put a stop to the endless stream of Eastern European trash arriving on our doorstep?

    I have no idea. When I see areas the city I grew up in full of “workers” drinking vodka straight from the bottle on the street corner at 9am my inner self weeps as to how we got here.

    All on benefits and black market cash too.

  6. Fuck positive thinking. If something is shite, plain wrong, or a situation or person is clearly screwing you over.. then accept it as it is and give the middle finger.

    It’s like the opposite side of the ‘just say no’ campaign that told kids altering their way of thinking through drugs was bad. Only the always positive always business smile attitude is acceptable.

    Get back to the plantation and generate some taxes, cunt! And don’t forget to smile.

  7. I am sure positive thinking has a place in the world but the word caution has to be respected. Its not negative to be concerned about decisions everyone has to make, its all down to balancing risk.

    I was positive about leaving the EU, I understand the risks but on balance I concluded that the risk was worth taking.

  8. I recently changed jobs.

    I’m sat with a bunch of 5yr old know-nothing, snowflake cunts.

    Their work is fucking woeful.

    They look at me as though I’m some old cunt who knows fuck-all. That’s fine by me because I’m keeping my powder dry until I’ll waltz round the cunts and show them how to do a proper fucking job!

    My new boss knows the score and he’s a decent bloke (similar age to myself) but he does have a slightly rose-tinted view of the world.

    “What do you think?”

    “It’s dreadful mate. Speaking candidly, it’s a fucking disgrace!”

    “Can you be more positive?”

    “It’s positively dreadful mate.”

    Hear endeth the positive thinking lesson!

    Cunts!

  9. Back stabbing remoaning cunt Dominic Grieve given no-confidence vote by Beaconsfield Tories by 182 to 131votes.
    Hope this is the start of things to come

    🔥🇪🇺🔥🇪🇺🔥🇪🇺🔥🇪🇺🔥🇪🇺🔥🇪🇺🔥🇪🇺🔥.

    • I was just about to post that GB
      About time mr punch got his marching orders! , hopefully there’s many more to follow, bojo needs a cunting “ it’s a sad to hear about Dominic, we disagree on the Eu but he’s a good man and a true conservative “
      I beg to differ, far from representing his constituents who clearly voted leave mr punch like many other MPs representing leave areas think they know better than joe public and have deliberately set about voting against their wishes!, whilst have the bare faced cheek to publicly say they are representing them? Yeh cunts you are representing a minority of your constituents!!! Nice quisling word play ..

    • That’s great news! This fucking Bruce Forsyth tribute act said there were about 100 people at the local party meeting he’d never seen before and there was an orchestrated campaign to remove him! Dom, you’re a Dick. That’s what democracy is all about. This fucking cunt has an air of entitlement that just oozes from every part of his fly blown chin. Now he can spend all his time on his role as the President of Franco – British Society.

      • Or bugger off to Karachi, where he not only has investments but –

        The Conservative Friends of Pakistan have given in excess of £500,000 to the central party, mostly through the Beaconsfield Constituency, making them Grieve’s largest backer (Wikipedia)

        I’m sure they’ll let him in, and with £3.1M to his name, he won’t be claiming benefits….

  10. Fuck me, how did the traitor Grieve get 131 cunts to vote for him? There must be some right arseholes in Beaconsfield.
    Where the fuck is it anyway? Some posh place no doubt where scum like me need a visa to get in.

    • Fuck me, Sourberries has described this vote as “disgraceful “ and Grievecunt as “one of the finest Parliamentarians ever, always putting his country first.”
      Fucking hell, what fucking world do these cunts live in?

      • That’s the trouble, Freddie. They are so far up their own arses,they still don’t “get” it. They genuinely believe that they are some kind of martyrs battling against a public too thick and uneducated to realise that only they,the politicians, can see the Big Picture.
        The “people” may be totally divided by Brexit,but hopefully all sides can unite in their disgust at the sheer arrogance of our “leaders”.

        Utter Cunts.

      • She’s definitely not the full ticket!
        Most MPs who have regularly voted against their leave constituents instructions have the common sense to keep their heads down hoping they avoid any public scrutiny, other cunts like Soubry and grieve not only defy their ( majority) leave constituents instructions but talk about “ looking after” “representing “ them? , they obviously mean the minority? Then compound the bollocks by using the word DEMOCRACY!!
        Democracy of the minority……

      • FGTM….
        Those utter cunts over at sly news also kept talking about a right wing presence at the Brexit protest in Westminster yesterday, funny how they have never reported that left wing thugs momentum have been on every so called “ People’s marches” Yeh funny that!

    • FtF it is in Buckinghamshire – home at one time to another “great* parliamentarian, Robert Maxwell. Perhaps Dommie will also be lost at sea?

      • Never find the sea, I hope somebody finds the cunt washed on the floor of the local bogs with ‘Remain’ stickers plastered over every one of his holes.

      • I meant ‘never mind’. Fuck knows how I got an ‘f’ when autocorrect isn’t even on.

  11. A drive-by Cunting for the dickhead who climbed onto the roof of St. Pancreas and stopped the trains running for several hours. If I’d missed my train because of some Wanker like that I’d have climbed up there myself and chucked the Cunt off. He’s no better than those fucking Hippy types who chained themselves to an aeroplane a few months ago.
    Selfish, “look at me” Cunt.

    Fuck him.

    • He was waving a St Georges Cross flag so probably a ‘Brexit extremist’ if reported by al-Beeb. He could of least shat in Compos allotment plot or chained himself to the doors of a pop-up vegan restaurant.

    • Reminds me of a second-hand story that came from a train driver who witnessed an incident at Preston station. Some perp, evading police, climbed atop a train and found out what it’s like to be a lightning rod, all smoke n flames. The driver was offered counselling, but declined, declaring “it was one of the funniest things he had ever seen.”

      • Cannot understand how one twat standing on a roof waving a flag could cause so much chaos? We really have turned into a nation of soft bastards. So what if the cunt falls off/electrocutes themself it’s one person for fuck sake not an alien invasion.

  12. I will give you an example of my own positive thinking.
    Being diagnosed with a load of shit which will end up with me as a monoped I was as you can imagine rather upset, However I have applied my own ” Positive thinking” to the subject.
    I now realise that in the future I will never be the victim of odd socks.
    I will be able to shoplift display shoes and not need both of them.
    I will always win the “best dressed Pirate ” at fancy dress.
    I have threatened to stump fuck someone already.
    I have also considered asking to keep the amputated limb and shove it in someones wheelie bin ( that is going to take some explaining to the police)
    I also get out of carrying heavy shit at work.
    see the power of positive thinking.

    • Sorry to hear of it Lord Benny.

      I would reiterate the sort of blinkered kumbaya corporate day-out wank is my main target, not people simply hoping for some better news.

  13. Guess Grieve will have to join the TITs now. Some of them got votes of no confidence from their constituency parties before they jumped…little-reported FACT.

  14. Crusty Heseltine has been exhumed and wheeled to a phonebox yet again. Who keeps allowing this cunt on the radio!!

  15. I am with Herr Fiddler on the matter of the absolute wankstain cunt who stopped the trains at Kings Cross.

    If I had missed my train I would sue the cunt in the county court and would encourage all of those inconvenienced to do the same.

    If he had done this in India he would been battered by the locals and Mr Plod.

    What a selfish attention seeking low life saddle scum cunt.

    I hope he dies of a slow lingering death the utter knobjockey.

  16. There was an article on the daily fail website yesterday about a woman who had narrowly missed a jail sentence for fraud. Her child had cancer, and she had set up a charity to pay for treatment that wasn’t available on the NHS. A football club got involved, and money was raised for the treatment, which unfortunately didn’t work. However, this woman had blown £180 000 of the cash on online gambling, and got caught out and prosecuted. In mitigation, all agreed that it was a terrible time, and grief and helplessness had made her do it. I’m not going to pass judgment on her, I can’t comprehend the impending loss of a child, my issue was this. The article was, as all are on that fucking webshite, accompanied by several advertisements, three of which, prominently featured, were for online gambling! Cunts, my fault for reading it on there…..

    • Death happens. Guaranteed to happen. It’s an animal instinct to be protective of the young, whatever the species. But that doesn’t mean the young don’t die. They do. Death is death be it an old or young person. I have no feelings about the child. Why should I? I didn’t know him/her. The mother is a piece of low life scum, using a dying child as an excuse for her compulsive habit. That’s what I can’t comprehend. She should have been sentenced to 10 years. 180 grand is a lot of money she didn’t spend on the dying child. What a cunt. What a cunt the court is for falling for the snowflake emotional outpouring bullshit. The judge should be sent down as well. Does nobody accept that we have choices and that actions have consequences these days?

  17. Off topic but listening to R4 politics programme with Margaret Beckett as one guest. Who knew she was still alive and that furthermore she ‘knows best’.?
    Anyway, the point is that the totally unbiased and neutral BBC presenter used the phrase ‘crashing out of the EU’ in his question. Glad to see the beeb maintaining an even hand.

    • The living corpse Beckett was on Question Time a few weeks ago and booed by the audience when she came out with the people’s vote bollocks.
      I must admit I also thought she was dead but some diabolical cunt must have dug her up and brought her back to life.
      Not a pretty sight.

      • If we got Margaret Beckett and Heseltine to rub their rotting corpse genitals together, would it be classed as necrophilia? If two zombies fuck what is that classed as?

    • It’s Peter Oborne, currently employed by the Mail, also writes for the Spectator, and voted Leave. I’ve always had respect for the guy – in spite of being rather to his left. The discussion seemed pretty evenhanded to me. ‘Crashing out’ is just mediaspeak, by now. It’s still the legal default, happily.

      I see ‘thousands’ turned up at Westminster yesterday. The organisers do not appear to have been asked for an estimate the BBC can use. According to our impartial media, there were, obviously, ‘far right’ participants and several were ‘racists’, also up to five arrests, and some MP’s were insulted. Wow. That’#s despite the HoC,s gates being closed and nonessential staff (except the MP’s) being encouraged to leave in case of trouble. There was also a very precise and no doubt scrupulously accurate ‘15000-strong’ counterdemonstration.

  18. On topic:
    Pessimists such as myself prefer to think of themselves as realists. Positive thinking is a snare and a delusion, promoted and practised by bullshit artists.

  19. Very perceptive cunting indeed.

    Positive thinking is nothing but hippy shit. Since when did it ever get you what you are hoping to achieve or conquer? It is nothing but a cheap sideshow con, like some hoop earringed, headscarf donning old gypsy womble down on some beach front with her crystal ball. It is all bollocks.

    If I had a pound for every time I had heard this phrase I would be sunning it on Necker Island and telling Richard Branson to fuck off my land or I’ll set the dogs on him.

    I have had this shit from friends and family numerous times. ‘Think positively, things can change’…….what total shit. Maybe if you win the lottery or stumble across some millionaire with one foot in the grave who is on the prowl for his 8th wife and ain’t fussy, but other than that, since when has the banishment of negative thoughts ever got any bastard anywhere?

    I also find that this kind of shit comes out of the mouths of people who already have their nest well and truly feathered, so have the luxury of thinking this way. In the real world, most of us are far more realistic and cynical and know better than to raise hopes only for them to blow up in our faces.

    I may be a miserable cunt as far as positivity goes, but I am also not living in LaLa land.

    DELUDED CUNTS.

  20. Job Snow is an utter cockwombling SCUM CUNT.

    Apparently he had never seen so many white people in the same place when referring to the leave demo yesterday.

    This man us an absolute fucking disgrace.

    FUCK OFF JON SNOW YOU UTTER COCKWOMBLING SCUM CUNT.

    • What a cunt.
      If that’s the case, shouldn’t he be questioning why there are so many sooties, in the places he frequents ?

    • At least Jon Snow might not be around for much longer. Rumour has it that in series 8, he might suffer the same fate as Ned Stark – a beheading. Can’t come soon enough.

  21. I can’t think of anything worse than the entire population, in a state of perpetual positivity.
    From a selfish point of view, ISAC would not be worth visiting, I can’t envisage any of the cunters on here being jolly.
    Much better to call a cunt a cunt, then move on to the next subject to moan about.

    • Our society is far too much like Huxley’s vision outlibed in Brave New World for my liking.
      Analogues of Soma and Feelies, anti-intellectualism, pathos over logos epsilon semi-morons and the promotion of hedonism everywhere.

      Where’s that fucking form for Dignitas?!

  22. The opposite of positive thinking i.e. thinking negatively through “crisis management” to cope with disasters is another area where the corporate world hasn´t a clue. Companies spend a fortune on PR outfits that draw up cynical crisis management plans that generally go balls up.

    Look at the big Brazilian mining company Vale that was responsible for the deaths of over 300 people when one of its dams burst in January. This disaster occurred only four years after a similar incident in which 19 people were killed.

    The company´s crisis management plan was an insult – newspaper and television adverts expressing sympathy and promises to compensate victims´ families and donate food, medicine etc. However, the CEO had the cheek to say that the company should not be punished for the disaster although he admitted its accident prevention system had not worked.

    Another example of this corporate callousness was the CEO of BP who complained of having to work too much after the Gulf of Mexico oil rig explosion in 2010 that killed 11 workers and caused a huge oil spill. He had the gall to say “I want my life back”.

    Both are now ex-CEOs, the only positive outcome of both tragedies.

    • Inclined to think the need for crisis management is the direct result of shit company management upon which it piles further shit outsourced management recommending the company to get more shit management in. I am awaiting the collapse of my employer under the accumulated weight of management, all insisting on terminating any productive activities it cannot hamper by prescriptive box ticking. While anything like reponsibility dissipates instantly in the management stratosphere.

      Forthcoming cunting – management culture. It is not management in any meaningful sense, and it isn’t culture in any sense at all.

  23. Life would be a much better place if people thought positively or at least rationally. Wouldn’t Britain be a better place if parts of the population had these thoughts?:
    “I think I’ll take my family back to Romania next week”
    “I’ll keep it my bag until I find a litter bin”
    “I’m going to shave my beard off today”
    “Carrying a knife is a criminal act”
    “I shouldn’t walk and text – it’s rude”
    “I’ll smile and say hello to my neighbour”
    “I’m having doubts about multiculturalism and LBGTQ issues”
    “I think I’ll find a job today”

  24. Back in the 70s, my mum used to subscribe to a rag called ” Good News”, Or “Good Times” , something like that, which was full of only “good” news, kittens being rescued from trees and stuff like that. It was really fucking depressing.

    • Yes it would make much better reading, if they fell from the tree, and were ripped to bits by a demented pit bull terrier.

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