I’d like you to take a few seconds out of your life to cunt ‘Microsoft news’ . When placed alongside the likes of the BBC, SLY NEWS, Channel 4 etc it might not appear at the top of the list when it comes to Trump derangement stories or Brexit scaremongering but by Christ it should be. Some astoundingly biased items on its newsfeed. It has been under the radar up until now but I am calling it out. Bunch of cunts.
Nominated by Jack
I’m surprised it hasn’t fucking crashed!
Or the “Microsoft 1%”! No matter what the task – downloading a fake news story say – it will do 99% of the cunt in two seconds and then you can make a brew, have a couple of fags and a light lunch and – if you’re lucky – that bastard remaining 1% might just be finishing!
After updates, slowness and a shit platform it’s a wonder there’s anything recent to see!
When I clicked on “Today’s Top Story” it was that fucking slow when it eventually rendered it was telling me Neil Armstrong had just walked on the moon!
Cunts!
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Or a Saudi Embassy…
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Especially the journalist-turned-May-sycophant Michael Gove. When he’s been chopped up, he can be sold in Chinese restaurants. The Chinese like eating snakes.
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I hear Istanbul is quite nice for a four hour visit
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The amount of information Microsoft try and obtain every time you turn on the computer should make them the foremost news vendors in the world.
They must be aware of everything even before it happens.
Their algorithms have no doubt clocked the fact that the word Microsoft has been entered somewhere, and I’m pretty sure they’re reading this so, “Hello Microsoft, fuck off you monopolizing cunts”.
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Fuck this thread me hearties although doubtless well intentioned ect ect. Yours Truly wishes to introduce the subject orf Andrew Sachs’ (Faulty Flowers) and his grand daughter. Oh yes. You will recall arch cunt Russell Brand broadcast her accomplishments to the world by leaving arsenine messages on the old poops answering machine. Gentlemen, Cunters and their fragrant other halves (God bless ’em), it gives YT much pleasure (together with a large pot orf Vaseline) to present for your delight and delictation, the sprightly filly as fore-to mentioned, Miss Georgina Baillie Oh Yes. Gennelmen, gennelmen – and kindly clean the upholstery before vacating the premises.
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/03/03/09/10513848-6765739-image-m-11_1551606898189.jpg Oh Yes Indeed.
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Fuck this thread me hearties although doubtless well intentioned ect ect. Yours Truly wishes to introduce the subject orf Andrew Sachs’ (Faulty Flowers) and his grand daughter. Oh yes. You will recall arch cunt Russell Brand broadcast her accomplishments to the world by leaving arsenine messages on the old poops answering machine. Gentlemen, Cunters and their fragrant other halves (God bless ’em), it gives YT much pleasure (together with a large pot orf Vaseline) to present for your delight and delictation, the sprightly filly as fore-to mentioned, Miss Georgina Baillie Oh Yes. Gennelmen, gennelmen – and kindly clean the upholstery before vacating the premises.
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/03/03/09/10513848-6765739-image-m-11_1551606898189.jpg Oh Yes Indeed.
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Fat ugly sow.
I’d take the one behind her though 😜
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Doubtless you mean “I’d take the one behind up the behind” Rough Puff.
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Indeed – I’d take her 24/7, NO HOLES BARRED Sir Limply!
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Bugger me, have over medicated dear hearts. Positively overcome by the prospect orf taking a spot orf discipline from the saucy minx. Oh Yes, Oh Yes Indeed my dear. Only problem how to get me old horseprong to retract before the Dear Lady Wife retoines from her whist club. Ever ready for the whisk orf leather acrorss me old arse but have no wish to be killed.
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Is it Yours Truly but keep reading MSFT news as the MISFIT news.
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We’ve never had so many different sources of “news” and yet never been lied to such as we are now. It’s hard to believe anything these days.
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Their hardware and software is crap too. Once my laptop is fixed after the latest Shitdows 10 botch I’m going to take Komodo”s advice and finally get my old man to help me install Linux.
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Reading your post courtesy Linux. Much faster, more reliable, does not save files in fragments all over your hard disk – which is why all Shitdows versions get slower and slower and is completely free and supported for free. Downside is it can be geeky, very – command line shite ect ect but depends upon the version. Yours Truly uses Ubuntu which is the most similar to Windows but withoite all the headbanging. In the jargon there is a learning curve but well worth it to be rid orf the spawn orf Redmond. Supports all the latest whizzbangs as well as the older machines with low memory. Gives the old Churchill (or Sir Limply) to viruses as well.
You can also set up your hard disk to dual boot so you always have the option orf running either system and still have access to your Windows files and programmes. YT runs XP and Ubuntu on this old machine.
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m$ as some of us call it
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That bastard news feed wound me up so much I just had to get rid of it. It’s like it uses AI to trawl the other FakeNews site to find the most liberal PC bullshit it can find and then it recommends it for you to read and brainwash yourself into becoming an EU loving transgender asylum seeker.
On windows 10 just right click on the tile and select uninstall. I wish we could do the same with the PM.
Or yes install a Linux variant or try it from a USB stick first. Or even dual boot your PC and keep windows just for playing any games. Linux is totally free as well no need to pay yourself to be brainwashed. Just like the UK pay the EU to brainwash us.
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MS News.
Microsoft launch new Windows XI.
It is just like old Windows, except it works. And it does not do it slowly.
Works with all old programs, or Apps as we now trendily call them.
Every function, user interface, etc. is the same as before so you don’t have to be Googling “How do I……?” for everything that you used to do before. Even Help works so that you don’t have to Google. …..etc.
And it is supported for as long as you use it.
Now that would be MS News.
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