The Superbowl

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It’s that time of year to cunt once again the fucking borefest to end all borefests that is the Superbowl. It goes for a fucking eternity, no cunt knows the rules, if it fucking has any, and the half time entertainment is like an Olympics opening and closing ceremony all rolled into one, with a load of cunts no fucker has ever heard of or if they had,  thought they fucked off many moons ago.
For a country so fucking big how come they haven’t a clue about fucking sport!!
Superbowl 50 fucking whatever get fucked you cunt.

 

Nominated by Flexicunt

 

I would like to take the time to direct a cunting at the annual cuck show that is the superbowl. After being spoiled by some excellent rugby over the weekend a friend recommended we watch the superbowl. Having fuck all interest in the NFL, I was utterly ambivalent if we watched it or not. However, there was fuck all else to watch (unless you like the reboot of gays dressing Bi curious men) so I thought fuck it. God what a boring cunt of a sport. Constant breaks in play, no tension, no hard hits and whats with all the fucking protection. The half time show royally fucked me off. That cunt from maroon five and those other cunts with their shit ass hip hop. Fuck all of you cunts.
On the bright side I did have a great palette cleanser. Watched a few episodes of bottom. RIP Rik Mayall you fucking legend!

 

Nominated by Cuntflappage

61 thoughts on “The Superbowl”

  1. Same here. Never watched the thing before, but persuaded to ‘give it a go’ this year because of so many record-breaking possibilities.

    Utter shite. Started with the USA anthem being tortured by a pipless Gladys Knight and went very rapidly downhill from there.

    Young quarterback for the LA Rams couldn’t throw a pass to save his life and the old boy playing for the others wasn’t much better. Just my fucking luck to tune in to the lowest scoring (and least exciting) Superbowl ever.

    Nearly choked laughing when, about three quarters of the way through, the embarrassed commentators tried to explain some of the dross away because the teams would by now be suffering from fatigue. They weren’t the only ones, although I reckon I had moved further (sofa to fridge and back) than some of the fat cunts on the pitch.

    You know a sport is dull when the main man (quarterback) has an iPhone taped to his wrist so he can check his social media and bank account ticking over in real time during the match.

  2. I’ve never seen The Superbowl and don’t live in the USA so I have nothing to say.

    Apart from the above sentence.

    What’s with all the noms today, it’s impossible to keep up being an old fella.

    Nom nom nom nom nom nom & nom.

    Goodbye for now.

  3. I watched it.

    I enjoyed it.

    Dunno if that was the abuse of beer and scratchings but I always enjoy the Superbowl if I get chance to see it live on telly.

    I also enjoy the NBA stuff on Sky and MLB on ESPN Sports too.

    I am a cunt.

  5. You say scrimmage, I say scrummage….
    Dress it up how you like, it’s still just a game of ‘catch’ while wearing a crash hat….

  6. if it ever fucking got going that would be something. it’s stopped more than it’s going, tedious tedious tedious.

    • Looks like in your previous comment you signed in as “ichard1” by mistake. I may be wrong, but that may have triggered the spam filter as multiple accounts from the same email address, and in turn, probably got flagged for moderation.

  8. As a follower of the NFL for over 30 years I will never understand why people stay up until stupid o’clock in the morning to watch something they have no interest in and don’t understand. Leaving aside it was won by the stinking cheating Patriots it wasn’t a bad game at all. The Rams defence did an excellent job, when you restrict the opposition to 13 pts you expect to win. The problem was the young quarter back Goff. You didn’t see this on the telly but , apparently, during the national anthem he was shaking like a leaf. To use a common NFL expression you won’t hear on the telly, he “shat the bed.” He obviously didn’t trust his offensive line to protect him and was running all night. Hence the failure to put more than 3 points on the board.
    I don’t know why I said all that because nobody gives a fuck so stop fucking moaning.
    I know people who stay up every year to watch the half time show. Now they are the real cunts. I can guarantee that will be shit every fucking time.

    • Apparently the Patriots aren’t that well liked by the luvvie progressive journos over in the US so that has to count for something.

      • Nobody likes the Cheatriots in the States, trust me. The tv figures for this game were the lowest for more than ten years. That’s because it’s the third year on the trot they’ve been in it and people can’t stomach watching the cunts winning again.

      • Yeah, the Al Beeb ran a piece slagging them off on their sports webshite. Must been cos England and Patriots are used in the same sentence that got the fuckers all triggered over at W1A.

    • I used to watch on C4 back in the late eighties on a Sunday night. Used to enjoy it. Some teams even still played in their home towns on grass pitches in those days before massive franchises. Green Bay Fudge Packers always made laugh….Plus we had an all American blonde named Kirsten from California in my class at school (Her father was an US Navy exchange pilot in the marines) and it was useful when trying but failing to get in her knickers by talking bout some good ole merrican stuff….. She had a cunt of an older bruvver tho

  9. Mr Fiddler, I know you are no fan of the beautiful game but did you dust of your passport on Monday evening to travel to the multicultural utopia of Stratford in Londonistan and take in the West Ham Utd vs Liverpool game? A gentleman was filmed telling Liverpool forward Mo Salah he was a “fucking Muslim cunt” and another player told “to get off his prayer mat” after scoring.

    • Evening LL.
      I had no idea that Muslims played any sport,never mind football. I’m amazed that they can find the time between fiddling benefits,fiddling juveniles and stabbing people tbh.
      I did put the football on last night to see if I’d misjudged “the beautiful game”..West Bromwich and Brighton it was,apparently…..Dar kies fucking everywhere…managers,players..every shade from suntan-bed tan right through to black as Idi Amin’s arse. I managed an hour of the boring shite only enlivened by the commentator telling us that it was an “entertaining game”…Entertaining!!….if this was entertaining, I’d hate to see what he called dull. Got sick in the end and sent Gemma Arterton another sketch of my cock…she’s bound to be weakening now that she’s getting old. I told her that I don’t mind if she’s getting a bit droopy,I’ll still chuck one up her.

      • I also sat through the brum v Brighton game.
        Dick is right, only about four honkies on the pitch, and not all those where ours.
        Half time, every single self proclaimed expert was a dark key and the first fucking thing they talk about is ‘not enough Black managers in the game.’
        This despite the fact that the managers of both teams were… you guessed it.
        What the fuck do they want from us?
        Fucking bbc apologising on our behalf again for being white.
        Fuck the fuck off BBC, you are the fucking racists, against whites.

      • She’s my own personal Moby Dick, G.B….I’ll harpoon her one day. Rather like a good fox-hunt,the pursuit is half of the pleasure followed by much howling and thrashing about in the undergrowth when the quarry is finally run to ground.
        I won’t rest until her brush is in my hands.

        https://goo.gl/images/okWM5Z

  10. As an ex-toker the phrase ‘super bowl’ has an entirely different connotation.

    Definitely would recommend that version, and not the corporate advert infested shitepile of yankie hand egg.

    🥦

    • Cripes – I actually understood that post Chunky! Maybe I’ve misunderstood this superbowls thing.

    • I don’t understand either of the fuckers, the only superbowl I’d be interest in is one full of crisps.

  11. Awful shite – second only to baseball in the tedious/boring stakes. Come to think of it, basketball – Another American sport – is a load of piss as well. The only decent sports are Gaelic football and hurling. Fast paced, exciting, lots of scores – and played by ordinary lads who don’t get paid millions every year; but rather, do it for the pride of the County. Ya don’t know what yer missin.

    • Good point IC.
      I was taught the rules of gaelic football by the landlord of the Nancy Hands in Dublin, over a few pints one afternoon.
      Proper local heroes playing for pride alone.
      I wonder how many footballers would turn out in the middle of winter if they were asked to play just for the love of it.
      Man city v Chelsea would be five a side at best me thinks.

      • Good to hear Mr Monte Christo. The fact that the players aren’t paid is why I love it so much – apart from the great skills involved. I do fear that it might go the way of football in England. They recently gave the rights to some of the matches to Sky sports. It would be a pity if it went down the road of rugby, cricket and football – sports I love but have been ruined by money.

  13. The most tedious, incomprehensible ‘sport’ ever devised. Fucking dog racing is more exciting.

    • Not fucking O’Shithead again. I understand you’re a massive fanboy but I’m not even going to open that shit. I’ve stayed away from that snivelling little nerd for nearly a year now and I don’t want to go back to throwing stuff around and damaging furniture again. Keep the Establishment stooge away from me the fucking shameless bootlicker.

  15. Who the fuck enjoys this shitfest apart from the backwards American population.
    How can they call this bollocks sport.
    Rugby is the only sport for men with balls.

    • Rugby’s not the game for you, Mincey. You’re aware of your uphill-gardening whereas rugby is for latent chocolate-nudgers oblivious as to why they want to grapple with pricks, and also for gruesome, chubby buIIdykes whose fathers loathed them.

  16. I watched the highlights and even that was boring, its a fucking stupid game for sure.

    Off topic, just been on the BBC website following the Tusk thread and winding up Remoaners, its fucking great sport , these cunts are so easy.

    I feel invigorated now Lol.

  17. Money in football. Any views on Nantes taking Cardiff to court ALREADY for payment for player that died? Fuck me the phrase ‘indecent haste’ comes to mind.

  18. REDish ALERT:

    Reports of Tory /Labour Coalition to deliver BRINO sellout… Who would have thunk it?

  19. Corbyns come up with a idea to break the Brexit deadlock?
    Staying in the customs union?
    Single market alignment?
    I suppose that leaves us in the jurastiction of the ECJ?
    So I suppose that means no trade deals too ?
    Hmmm sounds like staying in the EU jezza! Unsurprisingly goblin faced sack of shit tusk said “ it sounds promising “

    Corbyn you are an absolute cunt
    That’s called rolling over …..
    pure genius

  20. And why not? Their similarities are far greater than their superficial differences . Tory scum and Labour scum together delivering BRINO and hoping that nobody notices that fuck all has changed.
    Sounds perfect.

  21. I though a superbowl was what Flabbot ate her breakfast out of.

    (c) Basil Brush (Boom boom)

  22. Evening all. It would seem that diplomatic relations between France and Italy have taken a further turn for the worse,with France recalling its ambassador in Italy back to Frog Central for talks. Meanwhile, French border personnel are causing large tailbacks at the frontier with long winded checks, ( it’s a pity they aren’t as keen with Peaceful and Spears Chucker Cunts heading Blighty ).
    Whatever happened to free movement ?
    How Ho Ho!

    • Loving that story!!
      Macrons more than happy to criticise absolutely anything or anybody but when the tables turned her cries like a fucking baby!!
      French twat……

  24. Had a pint in a pub called “The Raheem Sterling Bar” earlier today.
    Jesus Christ…what a fucking dive….

  25. Superbowls as understood by me.

    something on at 3 am where Beyonce or Lady Gaga sing the US national Anthem. Fat blokes stand around and throw a ball at the Ball Receiver, who runs 5 feet before an enormously overweight man flattens him. He dies, then is replaced by a ‘second stringer’.
    There’s an offensive, a defensive and special needs team. The special needs team flails and thrashes until the ball goes between the posts, and a goal is scored.

    Americans drink beer and eat hot dogs, nachos with gallons of cheese-gloop, nuts and salted pig bits.
    Cheerleaders frolic. ‘2.. 4.. 6.. 8.. let’s get down and procreate! Woooh!’

    More grunting fatsos in the scrimmage.

    ‘Hut hut.. yeah, pizza hut? A large double pepperoni… oof.’

    And it’s a touchdown!

    Breakdancing from the black fellas.

    Marvel trailer. ‘Your world.. .. is at an end’.

    Back to the action. More sweating fat blokez standing around. More beer.

    • Americans drink beer but they hardly ever get pissed up on it. You could drink gallons of that flavoured water and it wouldn’t have any noticeable effect. The only stuff they had over there that’s worthy of the name is Michelob.

  26. I recall a half time advert at the Superbollox one year… Skaglett Johansscunt advertising Sodastream… Who the fuck has one of those these days?! And only cunts had them in the 1980s and all… Apparently she was only too glad to take the spondooliks from them, even though the company apparentlly has very questionable and unethical methods… Amoral greedy fucking cunt that she is… A Grade A Cunt…

  27. NFL? Who’s the daft cunt that made that up then. Propa sissy Cunts with helmets on! Play Rugby a real cunts game!

  28. Load of of over-inflated wank done to perfection!

    I recall watching this shit way back in the 80s and 90s on late-night Channel 4 (or 5, can’t remember which), and it was a load of bollocks even then!

    3 hours of fucking about and 60 minutes of actual game-time, most of which was spent pissing about with scrimmages and shouting out numbers, while the 400 umpires would go round throwing snot rags on the floor every couple of minutes.

    Complete fucking bore-fest, only a rung or two up from fucking golf, crown green bowls and curling!

    The only highlight are the cheerleaders giving it large – although I doubt they will be around much longer once the feministers demand a ban just like they did with the F1 girls.

    Fuck ’em – give me rugby league any day of the week.

  29. Like most on isac I fully support the UK leaving the diregiste top down 1950,s trading bloc called the EU , with this weeks ridiculous interventions from goblin faced tusk and that wonky toothed EU centric cunt vehorstadt only cementing for me anyway that we are far better to have self determination and governance than leaving our destination to the whims of unelected cretins who are nothing but shills for the 4 th reich! There’s a rebellion growing in the guts of Europe that these rabid European federalists are genuinely frightened of , if we can hold our nerve this house of cards will fall, but like most of you I’m afraid may is going to capitulate and let these grasping bullies off the hook……..
    Although she was a callous cunt I wished we had thatcher to go over and front up these Lilly livered cowards..

  30. All American sports are utter shit.
    The only reason for watching them is the hope that one of the cheerleaders has forgotten to wear her panties.
    Otherwise they can fuck off.

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