Awards Ceremonies

Awards Ceremonies

Yep. It’s that time of year again. Take yer pick between them. Oscars invariably preceded by manufactured controversy over some unheard-of cunt “comedian” upsetting the easily offended. Well you can have Fry instead but don’t forget to distance yourselves pronto the moment that your old chums Spacey and Wankstain hit the buffers you toadying cunts.

BAFTA? Embarrassingly over-recognises the worthy-but-tedious UK nominees or finds the most tenuous of British connections all at the expense of more deserving winners who are invariably not bothered to attend either. Look out for that hideous mouth-stuck-open Olivia Coleperson this year (if you can be arsed)

The Brits. What a pile of shit handing out awards to the endless stream of here today/gone tomorrow load of shite. Rag n Bone Man? Stormzy? Who the fucking hell are they? Who the fuck cares?!

And all of the above fawned over by the usual virtue-signalling audience clapping away like performing seals bedecked with the latest ribbon or badge to display their “right-on” credentials.

Nominated by Isaac Hunt

31 thoughts on “Awards Ceremonies

  1. Liam Neeson axed from US chat show…
    Well, what else can one expect from a servile slimy right-on leftist libfuck Clintonite cunt like Stephen Colbert? Oooh, the sacred (black) cow has been prodded yet a-fucking-gain… But it’s OK for Cuntbert and his celebrity scum pals to say horrible shit about Big Don and his family. eh?
    Fucking cunt…

    • I rather admire Liam Neeson for rejecting sùpposedly “highbrow” BAFTA wank drama in favour of action and shoot-em-up films.
      The fans are less fickle, the money is regular and they are probably more fun to make because of the abscence of pretentious-bollocks-spouting luvvy types chewing up the scenery or throwing tantrums.
      As for the BAFTAs, now there’s an incestuous back-slapping brown-nosing wankfest if ever there was one…

    • Totally agree
      Stormzy is an extinction event level sized cunt!
      Didnt that fucking prick Colbert present the oscars recently ? ,including Doing some ridiculous dance routine? orish dipshit Neeson Is an Attention seeking wanker Who ridiculous admission should be treated with the fucking contempt it deserves…..

  2. Good nomination. 💫 Noxious cunts.

    “Yeah, we should help the immigrants and poor, riight? And the under-privileged, riight? Ohh, thayynk you! Who am I wearing? This frock cost a small fortune. Yeh, riiight?”

    .All these self-congratulatory kiss-a-thons are back-slapping suckfests to promote the dreary and average at the time of year when sales are at a nadir. Horrible.

    Moreover, the sight of once-interesting characters towing the line, forcing a smile through recently polished grinders, and clapping like a supplicant to curry favour with the industry, is sickening.

    “…and the winner is….everybody who’s attended and kissed arse.”

  3. These days awards just seem like a vehicle to be hijacked by pontificating cunts who want to air their grudges and grievances. Tossers.

    • They ought to have an awards show for politicians. Lock them all in the House of Commons and force them to collect their TOsscars:

      Most inept cunt:

      Most Anti-democratic cunt:

      Most resembles a shit-coveted Hippopotamus:

  4. Maybe Tusk could get nominated for his little performance, there must be a special “cunt” award in the BAFTA categories, they have everything else covered.

    Fucking award ceremonies…… what a load fucking crap, either not enough spear chuckers or not enough women or not enough …… of the next fucking fashion statement.


    • Actually the porn , or “Adult Entertainment “ industry does have it’s own awards ceremony exactly like the Oscars. I know they have categories like “best gang bang scene” and “best milf performer” but whether they have “best blow job” or “best overseas anal scene” I couldn’t tell you.
      Presumably they don’t have a red carpet as it’s a sod getting all those jizz stains out.

  5. A dental nurse at our local surgery gives great blow jobs, especially after she’s smoked a couple of joints.
    Known locally as oral high Jean….

  6. Who votes for these cunts? Why does anyone vote for these cunts? I knew a rag and bone man years ago does the one mentioned in the cunting have a horse.

  7. And the nominations for Cunt of the Year are:

    Everyone and everything.

    Goodbye for now.

  8. I think most glitterati cunts have much longer arms than us norms.

    A necessary evolutionary trait in their kind so that they can slap themselves on the back more easily.

  9. As if there are not enough cunts, they gang up on you. In the car, turn the radio on and hear the BBC announce that the Bank of England says UK not prepared for no deal Brexit. And then the cunt himself, Carney. Grrrrrrr.
    To be fair he didn’t say anything of the sort but you can tell he had his remain T-shirt and second referendum Y-fronts on as he tried to be neutral though gritted teeth and only because he is scared of the Moggster attaching electrodes to his balls in a finance select committee. Again. Cunt.

  10. I did a Cunting on Award shows but it mustn’t have made the cut.

    The “Arts” are the only professions sufficiently self-indulgent to think that anyone else gives a flying fuck about their work. It’s the way that they all take themselves so seriously that gets me. On and on about the huge effort and sacrifice involved in dressing up and reciting lines ,or warbling a few tunes.
    Most of the attendees are sexual miscreants who would endure any indignity to “make it big”,and yet,when they get their break, turn on the man who made it all possible…poor Harvey Winestein….bunch of ungrateful Cunts.

    #Acquit the fat Sex Pest .

  11. Darlings darlings daarlings! I love you all and i want to thank my recently deceased agent/ father/ lover for giving me the strength to win this award and we all hate Trump and men in general. Thank you all soooo much ( lip wobble, quivery voice) and once more i love you ALL!

  12. I don’t think ive seen an awards ceremony since i was 15 and it was only for pulling my plonker over Salma Hayek or Elizabeth Hurley’s cleavage.
    When Titanic got umpteen Oscars i never bothered paying attention to it again.
    As for the Brits, ive never liked music in the charts so couldnt gave two shits about that either.
    Now it’s obvious the awards are for diversity rather than decent films, im surprised any cunt watches any of them.

  13. The one excellent Endeavour is back on telly this weekend… I’m not looking forward to it though… The last series was full of mouthy misandrist WPC gobshites, salt of the earth goody goody ‘migrants’, wankers saying Enoch Powell is a cunt non-stop, and all the villains were nasty white men.. The disease that is diversity ruins everything… ITV are cunts…

    • The ‘once’ excellent Endeavour is back on telly this weekend…. You know it’s going to be shite and PC… Fuck it…

  14. These ceremonies are nothing but a mass ass-licking orgy. The same old faces praising the same old cunts.
    The only funny one was when Julian Clary “apologised” for fisting Norman Lamont. I can tolerate Jules because he comes across as being a naughty boy and makes the effort to be outrageous.

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