Plastic Straw Guilt-trippers are cunts, aren’t they.
When did plastic straws become the supervillain? Why has this issue become the obsession of the meeja?
It’s there in every lazy journalist’s news list; it’s there in our miserably incompetent PM’s laser sights; it’s there in the ten-minute epilogue at the end of David Attenborough’s Nature programmes – a one-hour episode consisting of 50 wonderful minutes of Penguins arseing about, five minutes of ‘how it was filmed’ and then five minutes of what awful people we are for being Westerners.
Naturally it’s all OUR fault. The egregious West. Yes, yes, the film of the turtle was horrible and the floating pile of plastic is awful. However, isn’t this shifting the blame from huge corporations onto the ordinary pleb who is trying, attempting, endeavouring to be as environmental as possible? Instead of blaming the proles for Global Warming, what about banning plastic cup lids, Starfucks?
In a world reeling with people broadsiding democracy, acid being thrown at passers-by, murders by smock-wearing religious retards, the media prates about this. You can stab people while shouting Alläh Akbar but you can’t use a plastic straw!
This is a rapid-easy fix to the real problem of littering and is desperate, piss-poor journalism written by cunty, po-faced whelps.
Nominated by Captain Magnanimous
Why do we need straws in the first fucking place? I know this bird who won’t drink out of a glass in a pub or restaurant but has to have a straw. She carries a packet of them around in her bag in case they run out. Fuck me, if you think the glass is that filthy why are you drinking the overpriced piss they’ve just poured into it?
You’re not going to get AIDS off the fucking glass. Get over yourself.
10
Every fucking thing you buy has excess, unnecessary packaging. Shrink wrapped swede for fucks sake. With fruit and veg the reason is often the bar code. For whose convenience? The multi national, tax credit subsidised supermarket.
If I could be arsed I’d strip it all off at the tills and donate it back to them.
As the cunting says, lay the fucking blame where it belongs but be responsible with your own litter.
Cunts.
11
We always carry straws for our coke. Not all establishments provide straws.
6
Cant you use a rolled up £20?
9
I’m surprised you can still find coke mince poof guy, but you are brave to snort it. The cocaine of today wasn’t the same stuff I was snorting back in late 90’s early 2000’s its loaded with nasty chemicals and filler and shite to dilute it I’d stay away Also I thought crystal meth was the gay drug?
3
Cola is my drink when I have to drive. Never touch drugs. I have no idea where you cunts got thought that Den and I are are druggies.
3
It was the end of the evening and all that was left, was some fat bird sitting at the bar alone.
“You,” I said “Could be, the best looking woman in the room.”
“Oh! yeah, what makes you think that?” she asked.
“Four Stellas, a bottle of Merlot, two brandys, another Stella, four vodka shots and three lines of coke”….
16
Well I can’t be held responsible on this one. No real man would use a straw when drinking. Gays,children and tarts would though. As they’re responsible for 99% of the troubles in this world,it comes as no great surprise to me to discover that they’re behind this latest atrocity.
Blow football can Get Fucked too…no real man would play it,only Gays and children….rather like real football.
11
You might be onto something there Mr Fiddler.
Mince Pie Guy has already confirmed that he carries straws around but I get the impression that the kind of coke he is referring to doesn’t come in a glass. Wink wink.
Maybe he and Krav can confirm for us if straws are used for some kind of sordid sexual practice.
4
Probably stick one up the gerbil’s arse before sticking the gerbil up their partner’s arse and tromboning the pair of them at the same time.
It’s a fucking disgrace.
12
Oh come on Dick just do a fat line of Bolivian marching powder and let a hamster run around inside your arse, don’t be a bigot
4
I don’t use straws, never have. I have this big hole in my face I can pour things into.
7
You can see it, that’s not an avatar, it’s my passport photo and the reason I never travel abroad anymore.
6
I challenged the BBCunts on a piece they did about our export of plastic waste, there were inaccuracies in the broadcast and the inference was that all our plastic was ending up in a malasian asian river, utter bollocks.
Cunts, I put in a complaint, got a reply which was bollocks so i challenged the reply, that was weeks ago and nothing has come back.
I agree that plastic waste in general should be tackled in a sensible way , the straw saga gets coverage because its an easy fix, stop using straws.
The fucking media and eco-warriors tend to ignore the fact that the majority (90%) of plastic in the Oceans is coming from 10 rivers in southeast asia, not originating from the UK but the fact that all these rivers get polluted due to inadequate or non existent rubbish collection in the rapidly developing economies.
12
Putting in a complaint to BBCunts is a waste of time, Sick. All you ever get back is a load of generic waffle, which categorically will NEVER actually deal with the essence of your complaint, even if you respond asking for a direct answer. The BBCunts are cunts.
9
I agree, I wrote to their complaints executive and told them they are a bunch of cunts (didnt actually use those words)
4
An interesting and highly illuminating post captain, as DF previously posted “ real men” don’t do straws, that’s left to the Bacardi breezer brigade, can’t imagine seeing some cunt acting tough in the boozer with a straw hanging out of his pint ? , Or sinking that double scotch on the rocks via a straw? Imagine John mc clane sitting back after dispatching an airport full of terrorists with a fucking straw hanging out of his Budweiser? Ain’t happening, not now, not never!!
Straws are for people that like cocktails
Count me out 😂
12
Afternoon Quis esquire
No, I don’t use straws either. Red wine or pints (ale, cider, gin) so never have the need. I merely wanted to throw light on the obsession and how the blame has been strangely shifted onto Joe Average. Opening any newspaper, you’d think Starfucks/ CostaFucking Lot/ Prêt a Mortgage etc were a bunch of innocent, moral leaders trying to educate the little people rather than the profit-thirsty giant cunts they are, charging £3 for boiling water + teabag.
5
Afternoon captain
Straws who needs em? 😂
4
I’m not anti straw per se most cocktails I drink don’t need one old fashioned’s, G & T’s, alexanders, egg nog, mint juleps and whatever else I’m drinking but on occasion especially if the cunttail is a long drink like horses neck or a caesar then yes then I need one. Hope I don’t incur Herr Fiddlers wrath
5
No need to, cuntflap. The pile’s already floating in the ocean midway between California and Hawaii. Researchers say that the Great Pacific Plastic Mass covers an area twice the size of Texas, with an estimated 1.8 trillion items. We’re fucking doomed, I tell ya!
4
Perhaps MH370 is in there somewhere? Some cunt ought to have a look just in case.
9
Could we not drag it to somewhere near the Scilly Isles and use it to house illegal immigrants, pikeys, peacefuls, remoaners, most of our MP’s and the House of Lords?
9
Straws are for wimps.
Suck it up…
6
I must say that I’d be delighted if they were a genuinely new political party…but they’re not,they’re just the same discredited Cunts under a new flag. I couldn’t care less if they’re joined by malcontent Tories,Liberals,SNP or fucking Uncle Tom Cobley.
Our current politicians must be the most useless bunch ever to sit in Parliament. There isn’t any one of the Cunts worth a shit.
Fuck them All.
8
Posted this in wrong thread
3
Worry not, you’re only slightly out of time, squire; the incumbent (since 2015) is Kate Hollern.
Jack has nicely gone rather quiet since then, haply due to the “cash for access” scandal? Shame Sir Malcolm doesn’t take a leaf out of that book too.
Understandable mistake, Mr Fiddler.
4
All these companies advertising that they’re “banning” straws are abhorrent cunts doing a pr stunt. Disney, McDonalds, Starbucks, airline companies. Are we to suddenly think Oh Wow…kind-hearted and caring? I fucking despise them.
7
What fucks me off is most pubs have done away with beer mats for “environmental reasons”, now that really pisses me off not having a beer mat to rest my pint on. Cunts.
3
Really what environmental reason is there for not having beer mats all these pubs are owned by hipsters nowadays so it doesn’t surprise me
4
Can anyone tell the difference between a beer mat and artisan bread? Thought not. Make the former out of the latter, and problem solved.
4
I’m fed up with plastic packaging. Next time I go to Sainsbury’s I’m going to unwrap it all and drop it on the floor in front of the security guard. Bit like what happens in our oceans!
I’ll be going back to Sainsbury’s tomorrow anyway after the packet of sweet potatoes I bought todaywere off! Cunts. Why is our veg kept in fuckng weird ass cold houses for two years. Sick of it.
I am not a loony lefty bi binary tran lezzer cuntface, just sick of fuckng packaging and crappy old veg.
7
According my dad, it was all plastic crap in the toy shops when i was a kid in the eighties.
Of course, he’d made his own mini cooper out of rusted iron guttering, scavenged cabling and cortugated tin by the age of three.
3
你好， 好久不见了！
0