Beautiful Girls

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Beautiful girls
Loads of them where I live but they never look at me. Why not? I´m only in my mid-sixties, practically still a boy, got my hair (well most of it) and it hasn´t gone grey or white. I´m slim and only wear glasses for long distance.

In my younger days, I had no real problems attracting young wenches. Nowadays, the only girls who pay any attention to me are the few polite ones who offer me a seat on the bus. Plastic surgery is out. Viagra gives me a headache and makes my face red and I refuse to pay for hochmagandy as we call you know what in Scotland so help me out ISACers!

Nominated by FrustratedFraeAuldReekie

81 thoughts on “Beautiful Girls”

  2. What you need is a good thick wodge of cash, bling, fast cars and other expensive assets.

    Other than that you’ll always be a nobody in women’s eyes

  3. I think there is a consensus developing,

    Money, takes years off you life, 60 something with 25 year old on your arm….

    When i win the lottery … 10 million will do, I will fill my boots for sure 😀

  4. It’s easier to overcome your libido.
    Third wave feminism has shown women for the hags that they truly are.
    Yes, I’m a little bitter but that doesn’t make it any less true.
    All women are vacuous, money-grubbing, deceitful, humourless, boring, nagging cunts for whom nothing is ever good enough.
    A chap is far better off fostering good friendships in real life and bettering himself by getting interested in interesting things.

    • You have achieved enlightenment !
      No truer words have ever been written.
      I’ve more faith in my beloved dog than I have in the duplicitous Mrs. Cunter.
      Good morning Mr. Cunt Engine.

      • Hi Jack…yep, it’s rather a shame I didn’t realise this years ago, before I knocked her up for the second time, so my shit situation as almost entirely of my own making!
        Ah well, once the divorce rape is over, I’ve got to pay child support for another 12 years!
        At least young fellas like Opinionated Cunt (for example) can take our word as gospel before he gets tied down or gets a bird up the duff…can you imagine how many of us middle-aged cunters on here would remain single if we could live our lives over again?!

      • Shortly before I got married an old timer said to me, ” for the first six months you could eat it, after that you’ll wish you had ”
        The old cunt was right.

      • Good afternoon Mr. Creampuff.
        Somehow ‘ ten pint beauty ‘ doesn’t seem to cut the mustard

      • Best of luck Thomas mate, the fucking aggro I had with the CSA when it first started. Ex decided she was a lezza, 4 bedroom house with rug muncher earning more than me, CSA decide ex has no income, same sex cohabiting didn’t count. After her month in Australia, in part, and the new conservatory, I became pointlessly belligerent. Fucking years to pay it all off! Sorry mate.

      • Ditto Tony, fuckin ditto! I had exactly the same fuckin vagina diner! I’ve paid her fuckin thousands over the years yet I still buy ALL of my son’s clothes,shoes football boots, school uniforms pay his dinner money, you get the picture. While the vast sofa slug sits on her fat sponging cunt all day! Trust me the £2000 for the divorce was the best wedge I’ve ever spent.

    • Fully concur with the assessment. In days gone by it may have been different, but what does a modern woman actually bring to the table except perhaps sloppy seconds? What can she do that I can’t? I fail to see the incentive.

      They’ll fuck your time way longer than the time you get to fuck her.

      • Absofuckinglutely. Women lie as readily as they breathe. Men understand camaraderie and to some extent will look out for a mate. Women couldn’t give a fuck about anyone but themselves. As I said to my ex, you’ll have had more sex with other men than me during our marriage then? Oh yeah she said. Whatevs.

    • Am guessing that this is what the Ancient Greeks and Romans realised, hence the homosexuality.
      Looking at it like that, gaydom is slightly more understable, except for the outrageous campery, and the bitchiness. If it were just normal blokes doing it, I wouldn’t give a monkey’s, but guys “parading”, wearing leather puppy masks, with metallic fake tan over their meat and two veg ??
      But if some blokes can’t stand women, to the point they fuck other blokes, in Dog’s name why imitate the worst aspects of the female ?

  5. As Mrs Merton said to Debbie McGee,
    “What first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels”?

  6. My recommendation would be to apply to have 20 years taken off your birth certificate then start a crowd funding campaign raising money for Mtembee fresh water supply, that’s bound to pull in a few young student type phillies.

    Other than that, stick some hair on the palm of your hand and call it Pam.

  7. Don’t bother with beautiful ones,go for the Munters or ones with low self-esteem. They’ll be flattered that you’ve bothered with them at all,and will be as grateful as a dog with a marrow-bone for the few crumbs of attention that you chuck their way. However,never give them your correct name,phone number or address,after all,who gives a Fuck about them once you’ve emptied the tanks?

    Avoid “beautiful” women. Especially blondes. However,if you must try for one out of your class…lie. Lie like fuck,tell them whatever they want to hear. Be a shoulder to cry on when you hear that they and their husband aren’t getting on too well. Nothing like a woman in need of validation for dropping her knickers, a few little hints that the husband has been playing away can also pay dividends.

    If all else fails, don’t be frightened to pay for it. At least pros are honest about what they want,and it’ll cost considerably less in the long run than taking up properly with any woman,beautiful or not.

    Snakes with tits,the whole lot of them.

    • Inspired Mr Fiddler, you could have a segment called Fiddlers Agony Corner on Loose Women with sage advice on all manner of social quandaries.

      • Those pissy-knickered old harridans would sharp learn that a woman’s place is to be seen and not heard…although ,in their case,they shouldn’t be seen either.
        I bet in that studio stinks like the bait-box on a Hull trawler. They act like they’re permanently on the rag,but are obviously well past that stage. Not that I can imagine that they were very fuckable at any age.
        Apart from Nadia Sawalah,I bet she had a right hairy matted bush when she was younger..probably gone bald
        now. Old Crow.

        Good Morning L.L.

    • Morning Dick. I used to work with a chap forty odd years ago, on a night out he would home in on a porker, he always got a jump.
      He used to take awful liberties with their bottoms.
      Ahem …….

      • Morning Jack.
        Fatties are always grateful and willing if all else fails,and as long as nobody else sees you with the tubster,it’s fair enough. Better to just get a gobble off one mind. The chip grease lubes up their lips and as long as you don’t look down,you can imagine that it’s actually a smart bit. Plus they normally swallow.
        I once got a gobble off a lassie who said that I wasn’t to shoot my load in her mouth..of course, I did. She stood up, spat the entire load right in my face and called me a “dirty bastard”…charming words indeed..filthy tart.

      • Morning Mr Fiddler, doesn’t bear thinking about the state of knobs Janet Street-Porters gnashers have left.

      • A well known tactic for those of us not blessed with lady-killing prowess, was to ‘Go Ugly Early’. Invest a few Malibu & Cokes in Plain Jane and don’t leave it to chance and the ’10 to 2 shuffle’.

        Pissed myself laughing on a recent night out with middle- aged mates when a recently-divorced lady – done up to the nines and clearly on the pull – made a beeline for one of our number. “I see your mate has taken a shine to my mate”, says I. “Oh that’s quite normal for her” says one of her buddies, “She’s always been one to Go Ugly Early!”

        Equality at work; good to see it.

  8. Would Penny Lancaster have married Rod Stewart if she’d met him down the local social security in down town Scunthorpe?

      • Bent Dennis will confirm that Mr Fiddler does indeed have a 15″ long winkle.
        Alas, it also has the diameter of a pencil.

      • What utter lies and filth you peddle, Mr Fiddler. Especially as Mince Pie Guy has already posted a picture of Bent Dennis lounging around on the steps of their apartment and he looks nothing like the imposter you presented…
        https://goo.gl/images/7SNvzZ

      • Ah, but your picture was taken before he peeked at my mighty member….scared the shit out of him. Did a better job of changing his skin colour to that of a white man than Michael Jackson ever achieved.

  10. My wife has it right “women, we’re bitches”

    Men are capable of fucking each other over in the most horrific ways of course but women do it to each other far far more and then blame men for their lack of progress.

    #metoo just fuck off

  11. Most of today’s younger women are snide, sarcastic, condescending, entitled-bordering-on-delusional twats forever checking their social media accounts and posting selfies.
    They are all on medication, offended by everything and so many are just looking for a meal ticket as their humanities degrees mean they are in crap jobs or on the dole, yet they will pretend that blogging is a career, or that they are ‘fashion designers’.

    I’d just get a dog.

  12. I wasn’t the best-looking bloke in the world and I wasn’t the nicest bloke either, but if I’d wanted to get married and have children, I could virtually have had my pick. That’s all that most women want. They think if they get a ring on their finger and babies, they’ll be happy. Doesn’t matter who they do it with.

    To all young cunters, tell them you love them, you want to marry them and you want to raise a family with them and they’ll drop their knickers. Wish someone had told me that when I was young.

  13. I’d hate to be young now. Straight on Tinder or whatever as soon as your back is turned but all the while still telling you about their ‘feelings’.

  14. Back to my Cyprus days, there were a couple of butt-ugly squaddies who married gorgeous Russian birds. Of course, once UK citizenship was granted, said beauties fucked off along with the contents of the joint bank account.

    If you are punching above your weight with a women, you’re either very rich or about to be in trouble. Avoid!

  15. We’re discovering years too late that MGTOW is the way to go! if you don’t know what I’m on about guys, go on to Ytube and just type MGTOW in, and see the responses!
    But if you’re seriously intent on pulling something 30 yrs younger, then I reckon fellow cunters have nailed it, my frustrated Auld Reekie friend. You need an ENORMOUS…..

    bank account.

  16. Just move to SE Asia. Thailand, Vietnam or Cambodia. More pussy than a man can imagine at 20 to 40 bucks a pop. Heaven!

  17. I count myself lucky, Mrs B still has a good arse, good tits and doesn’t take herself seriously, a rarity in some wimminz nowadays.
    I have been lucky, I feel for my fellow cunters that have been fucked over by their other halves.

    • #MeLuckyToo… though can’t say I’ve exactly lusted after Lady Creampuff over the last 20 years or so… But she has a good heart, and even a sense of humour!

  18. Following on from Mr Cunt Engines timeless wisdom about women, a young man today would be absolutely mad to marry or have children. The state is the third party in the relationship and it will fuck you over if she suddenly ‘falls out of love’.

    There was a news story last week about a millionaire businessman who found out he was infertile since birth due to cystic fibrosis.. after having already fathered three children. Read the wifeys comments and understand a lot of women are just like her. They will lie through their teeth. Paternity fraud is out there folks.

    Cheating and a partner count that would make a Victorian prostitute blush are common traits in young women today. Do I fancy marrying that? Yeah no fuck off you cunt.

    • Thanks to Allah (his name be shat upon) we don’t need to have children nowadays. The Peacefuls do a more than adequate job fulfilling that role for us.

  19. After reading all these comments, I’m not sure that we’ve been a great deal of help to poor Mr. AuldReekie, to be honest.

    • Have you noticed that, as of late, there have been loads of new(?) cunters doing noms but who never post a single comment?

      • Yes, that’s been puzzling me also. There appears to be an entirely separate set of ISAC Cunters out there solely dedicated to posting nominations and fuck all else. I find it all a bit creepy to be honest…

      • I think I fit that category. Nothing creepy, just breaking myself in gently having watched from the shadows for a short while. Quite refreshing to find a group of like-minded old losers with broadly similar gripes and complaints as myself on a site which works well and offers a good platform to vent.

        Very refreshing also that, in general, the vitriol is aimed at the many deserving causes, organisations and individuals who qualify as cunts, and nominations don’t descend immediately (or too quickly, at least) into an internal point-scoring and willy-waving ego-trip amongst the contributors.

        If we all start off as disaffected, misogynist racists, then we should be able to play nicely with only the occasional slap from teacher.

        That’s enough from me. Back into the shadows now to chuckle at the cuntery (at least until Cuntryfile starts on the telly).

      • I am not a misogynist racist, I am a free Cunter! I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, labelled or numbered!

        My life is my own. Ha-ha-ha…

        PS: Never trust a woman. Even the four-legged variety.

        🙂

  20. Beautiful women are overrated, trust me. Men are usually dazzled and brainwashed by the looks, but scratch beneath the surface and most of them are arrogant, selfish, superficial, vain bitch cunts…..the types who get up in the morning and kiss the mirror. I went to an all-girls high school and all of the lookers were fucking nasty cunts, even at that age. Beautiful on the outside, ugly as sin on the inside.

    I concur with the other cunters here. I always piss myself laughing (TENA pads are so handy on those occasions) when I see some old fart bloke with a young piece on his arm, or one he has actually married. What amazes me is the ego of the dumbarse, thinking that a woman like that is in love with his stunning good looks and charm, rather than his enormous bank balance. Talk about denial, or maybe they don’t give a fuck what the cunt’s motives for marrying them are, as they are quite happy having a trophy girlfriend/wife.

    The one who REALLY gets me is Mick Jagger. If that little rat didn’t have fame and a penny, no woman on earth would look twice at him. Face like a melted dinghy and a short arse runt of a man, yet he is still landing model-looking poon at his overripe age….AND procreating!!

    Revolting, yet hilarious.

    • “Face like a melted dinghy”

      Priceless, thank you NC I’ll still be smiling at this when I go to bed tonight.

      Goodbye for now.

    • Thanks RC and Mr Knee!

      I honestly don’t know how I think up these slurs out of my hairbrain….I think it is the cynicism of late middle age and being a grumpy old cunt….

  22. When my brother in law split from his first wife, she got the house, worth approx £1.5M today. He got the bills for three kids at private school for ten years, and child support.

    When I split with my first wife, all she wanted was cab fare to her mums, twenty quid.

    I like to bring this up quite regularly when he’s around….

  23. Growing up in Essex I noticed from a relatively young age how obsessed with money the Essex ladies could be , on meeting a young lady in a pub or nightclub I would be asked within 5 mins “ what do ya drive?” My answer was always “ a hard bargain “ often that reply was met with a blank expression, one particularly thick bimbo asked me “ who makes that?”
    Like some posters on here I generally did okay with the girls and didn’t stop playing around till my late 30,s , by that time I had started to notice something nasty was creeping up on me, it wasn’t
    Hair loss , weight gain, eye sight or any other medical condition it was worse!!
    I had started to become invisible to women or a certain age ( Young hot ones) as the years have passed so has the cloak of invisibility!! I’m now viewed by woman under 30 as an inanimate object , just last week in Tesco a particularly attractive woman in her late 20,s ran me over with her trolley ? “ sorry I didn’t see you”. She explained
    Fucking says it all……

      • It truly is BB … 😌
        I’m Starting to resemble that predator creature from the movies when he’s got his cloaking device on, I have the appearance of heat haze , young ladies know they’ve seen something but can’t explain exactly what it was……
        At this point I would like to be bold and say it’s their loss but unfortunately i cannot …….. 😂😂😂

      • Q I have one those cloaking devices fitted to everything I wear your description of a heat haze is correct. They sense a presence but nothing registers. A good friend of mine claims that if one exposes ones member the cloaking field breaks down. My friend is a fucking deviant class 1 so I think he may be onto something and he was chased through the local woods by a ladies walking group last June so could be onto something. Hope this helps.

  24. Not worth the trouble (or the herpes), these “lovely” high maintenance bitches. Aim for a homely gal with perky tits and decent butt.

  25. All starts with the old horseprong, get that in fine fettle and take Sir Limply’s Course of Social Skills for the Gentleman with part one “Give it plenty orf poke” free. She’ll be gagging for it.

  26. you cunts have made me question my recent signing up to a ( mature) dating agency. maybe i ‘m better off staying on me own?

    • Presumably if they’re post menopause you can Roger away with impunity. Til husband finds out of course.

  27. Take Sir Limply’s Course orf Social Skills for the depressed cunt, follow the simple instructions to perk up the old horseprong and they’ll be gagging for it.

  28. I’m not averse to the occasional beautiful girl on Pornhub. (Other purveyors of filth are readily available)

  29. The one thing i have learned is to never listen to a woman other than your mother. Most of the time their opinions and views are irrational, hypocritical, and illogical, especially on how to be successful with women. You should never listen to advice from women, as women don’t even know what they want themselves. They want you to be forward, but when you’re forward they report you for harrassment. They want you to be manly, but not too much. Be emotional but not too much, love your mother but not too much, look after your appearance but not too much. If you ever ask a woman what she wants in a man, they say the same old cliche; “an honest, kind, gentleman who can make me laugh”. It’s all bullshit – those kind of men never get a look in – it’s the arrogant alpha males with plenty of cash who always get their pick of the majority of women. If you’re gonna take advice from anyone, take it from a man who’s had success with women.

    • If you want some wisdom on how to play the game I highly recommend the late comedian Patrice Oneal, specifically his ‘Black Dr Philip’ radio show. It’s all on youtube, which is amazing given how un-PC and blunt it is haha.

      Whilst I don’t share his womanizing philosophy or sex obsession, the man definitely understands the male-female dynamic.

      ‘Time Hoe’
      https://youtu.be/t9QOQNcpuiA

  30. Am currently writing to a beautiful girl, aged 37, but she is lovely – a 5’8″ blonde, that doesn’t have the usual attitude that one might associate.
    Am also having to write in French, as it’s our shared common language. I don’t speak Portuguese…yet. Am pretty certain she isn’t married; I’ll find out soon enough, I guess… She was stunning as a 24-year old, when I first met her; she’s even better now !

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