Axa

This legalised extortion of drivers wallets needs a proper Cunting.

2 weeks ago my ‘renewal invite’ came through, with an astonishing increase from £300 to nearly £900. After telling them to ‘get stuffed’ yours truly begins to boil his piss and searches the market only to find that AXA come out as the 78th most expensive of 79 providers at a whopping £1279. Now sitting at the top is SAGA at a wonderful £270 for everything I want, so Grumpy Cunt becomes Happy Cunt and purchases said policy, and finds its underwritten by? Yep..AXA!

CUNTS!

Nominated by The Eternally Grumpy Cunt

31 thoughts on “Axa

  1. Fecking highway robbers.
    I have stuck with Aviva mainly because I canny be arsed looking around.
    They are based in Ipswich I used go to an office a few doors down.

  2. This fuckin happens every year. When you query it, the mantra trotted out is ‘ increased costs ‘. Now the funny thing is when you threaten to go elsewhere they usually magically are suddenly able to bring the quote down substantially. They are simply trying it on. At least they are now legally obliged to quote what you paid last year. I am with Saga too , they are quite good, you get straight through without having to choose numerous options and the operators are UK based, you don’t have to strain yer fuckin ears with some Impenatrable foreign accent.

  3. Of topic
    The first leader of the Women’s Equality Party has resigned from her role.

    In a Twitter post, Sophie Walker said she was “frustrated” with the WEP’s lack of diversity, the feminism movement and party politics.
    That’s wiminz for you.

  4. If you sliced anyone who works in insurance into slices, you would find the word CUNT running right through them.
    Parasites.
    Get to fuck.

    • Fuck that, I’m not blunting my best blades on those solidified bundles of cunt.

      Put them straight on a conveyor belt and into one of those mechanical evisceration machines that turns unwanted animals into mush.

  5. Having anything to do with insurance in an employment capacity is one step down from being a sex offender in my book. I hope all these cunts rot in hell for all eternity.

    Great bit of cunting EGC.

  6. Every year with Aviva my motor premiums quotes increased despite yet another claim free year, and each and every year I telephoned them. Each year they reduced the premiums to roughly the same as expiry. The last time they increased from £300 to £425. I called them and they said in view of the new information I gave them the renewal premium should in fact be nearer £450.

    They told me that lots of their other drivers had had accidents and because of this I had to pay more. They also said that if I considered switching my Household policy to them perhaps they could save me money on the motor policy.

    Called NFU who I have been with for many years with my household and business insurance. First class. When Axa wanted £900 NFU quoted £500 for the same cover. Always received great service and minimal premium increase. NFU quoted £290 for motor insurance and included RAC breakdown do cancelled my existing separate cover for £30 a month and switched.

    Aviva got a bit nasty when I cancelled, especially when I mentioned their tv commercial clearly stated “we don’t charge you more because of other drivers claims”.

    They also informed me that the NFU policy excluded an up to £150 provision for transport following a claim. Said that in the last 30 years would not have required this cover, and if the situation arose I could take it out of the premiums I had saved.

    It certainly pays to shop around. Loyalty these days is for mugs.

  7. All insurance companies are cunts.

    My 21 year old daughter’s renewal quote from her existing provider, Bell, was just short of £1400. The price comparison site gave a best quote of £723. I called Bell on her behalf to say we were not renewing as they were far too expensive. The cancellation department asked who had quoted cheaper (none of their business) and how much. I lied as I wanted just a quick confirmation that they wouldn’t be drawing an auto payment from her credit card…not a full renegotiation. To get rid of them, I said £626 and a few pennies. It sounded like a genuine quote figure rather than an aspiration. I then asked for them to confirm cancellation and the woman said after a couple of seconds that the revised quote was £634…..an immediate drop of over £700. Of course we took it but I ask you, fellow cunters. Is this taking the piss or what?

    Insurance companies are Cunts of the highest magnitude and should be cunted at every opportunity.

    • Not all insurance companies are cunts, but certainly the vast majority are.

      Car insurance from my experience is the worst and has always given me the worst service despite being claims free for 30 plus years. Any significant increase I view as the company telling me they don’t want my business, and not wishing to disappoint I switch.

      They need to sort out fraud and whiplash claims rather than passing all of the costs onto the law abiding drivers.

      All customers really want is a fair price and some sort of continuity. Offering better deals to new customers than existing customers really hacks people off.

      Worked in Marine insurance for 30 years. A better class of insurance underwriter, but still has its cowboys.

  8. My local agent is honest and genuinely finds the best deal for me and my litrebike. The name on the form changes from time to time, but the underwriter’s usually the same. No-claims bonus, though? Go whistle, Komodo. The price has never dropped yet. Insurance companies are cunts.

  9. Being a tight cunt I’ve never taken out any kind of insurance.

    No Buildings, no Contents, no Car, no Life, no Death – FUCK ALL!

    Strange that so many cunts want to help me make a PPI claim…

  10. I saw something on the Martin Lewis show, he reckons if you ask for a renewal quote 3/4 weeks before it is due you get a better price than if you wait until a few days before.

    Will have to test the theory next time mine is due.

    • My car insurance lapsed at the beginning of January and I’d been looking since mid-November. There was no real difference in quotes.

  11. I’m sure most insurance companies are very much alike. I’ve held AXA car insurance for years now, simply because I can’t get it cheaper, and I ring round every year in case some company has an introductory offer. They always come up with an excuse for the amount quoted, the favourite being ‘it’s your postcode’.

  12. Those cunts at Churchill added a few hundred quid to my renewal for no reason. Oh yes.
    I went on a comparison site and got much cheaper quotes. And the cheapest was Churchill. Oh yes.
    Took a slightly dearer quote from elsewhere. Fuck off Churchill. Oh yes.

    • Exactly the same experience with Churchill myself,asked why I was leaving told them the truth I had obtained a cheaper quote online,he then proceeded to tell me what wouldn’t be included with said new quote and how good they are etc etc but couldn’t match the price
      He went a bit quiet when I said the company was Churchill treat them like the cunts they are it’s good fun winding them up
      The bunch of cunts

  13. If any cunters have a classic car, may I kindly recommend Hagerty insurance.
    Not only were they cheap as fuck, their agent really knew classic cars and we had a very pleasant natter about nerdy shit. They also added fuck all onto the cost when presented with a long list of declared modifications.

    • Thanks Thomas. I have a Rover P6 3500. Currently insured by Lancaster under agreed value, but will give Hagerty a whirl upon renewal this April.

      Important to me is the absolute right to buy back in the event of a write off. My everyday Rover 75 2.0 diesel was mullered by an airborne deer just before Christmas. I didn’t even bother contacting my insurers as the cunts would have written it off immediately despite it being in mint condition prior to the coming together.

      Instead I bought a second hand front bumper, wing and headlight off the Bay of Flea. Set me back £130. My friend with a body shop put it all back together and repainted the front end. Lost out on through not pursuing the insurance claim but simply not worth being paid out a pittance and losing a low mileage car that is well maintained.

      So many well maintained, low mileage cars scrapped due to the high cost of repair via the insurance route.

      • 3.5?
        Nice. Can’t beat a V8!
        Hagerty charged me 127 quid fully comp for a 1964 Ford Galaxie 6.4l with loads of mods…next cheapest was nearly 200 quid!

  14. I won’t go anywhere near AXA, especially after they hiked my car insurance up by £300 one year on the auto renew scam trick.
    Then they told me it would cost me over 100 quid to cancel the auto renewal.
    How exactly do you come to the conclusion of charging me a cancellation fee for an insurance policy I had not yet renewed? Cunts.
    Suffice to say I cancelled the credit card and went elsewhere.
    2 months later I got a letter asking why I hadn’t paid the cancellation fee, as they had still tried to take the money off the old credit card number. Utter crooked cunts.

  15. Carole Nash.
    One six wheel policy for car and more than one motorcycle and not expensive.
    Had a bike pinched a few years ago and they paid up sharpish.
    Premium even went down when I moved out of the city to the countryside
    Might become cunts one day but so far so good…

    • Have used them. They were good, but I’ve found cheaper. Probably worth comparing benefits before deciding, I seem to remember CN offered a slightly better package for the slightly more money.

  16. Have a vintage car policy for me old jalopy which is in the low hundreds, just have to remember to wind the clock back with an electric drill every so often to keep the mileage cosher. That’s all the detail you cunts are going to get oit orf me.

    • Was just about to post similar, Normy-baby.

      I seem to recall Axa’s massive tits heaving as she fought some mythical creature that always seemed to bear more than a passing resemblance to a giant phallus. Happier times.

      • Nice one Paul…

        I hear Gillian Anderson is going to play Maggie Thatcher in The Crown…

        Fucking Hell… That’s going to be a difficult wank…

  17. fuck anyone watch Newsnight tonight? there was an actress on called Frieda Pinto, i’d never heard of her before. talk about stunning!! check her out.

  18. I just cant be fucked listening to lies about increased costs ( on their skyscraper in the CBD ) so I get a broker to do it. Even with their cut it’s cheaper and all I have to do is go, no, no, yes that one.

    They once told me it’s not there to be claimed upon but for my peace of mind. They are nothing but big stake gamblers when you think about it, just playing the odds with Government complicity.

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