Pearson employees – the driving people not the school exams people – are cunts. I had my theory test last week (failed by ONE FUCKING POINT if anyone’s wondering – redoing it tomorrow Tuesday 4th) and the people running the thing are honestly some of the most unfriendly cunts I have ever come across, who treat you with complete disdain if you ask any questions or need any help with anything – like operating the lockers for example). I know Simpsons references aren’t well liked here but they are genuinely like Patty and Selma out of the DMV in that show. I know they’re not there to be everyone’s best mate or anything like that but I think it reasonable to at least expect a certain attitude and level of civility from them.
Nominated by OpinionatedCunt
I well remember my first driving test.
I had been driving since being a child..tractors, an old scrap car that my parents had got me and the farm Landrover,went all over,no bother. However,eventually my Father said that he had booked me in for a test…shouldn’t be any bother,you can obviously drive he said….bear in mind he’s never taken a test in his life.
Anyhow,the day of the test came and off I set fresh from mucking the byres out…boilersuit and shit covered wellies in the Landrover to the local test center,about 6 miles away. Sure enough after booking in, I was told to wait with my vehicle and the Tester would join me…Fuck me,if it wasn’t some biddy…Ridiculous,what the Fuck could a woman know about driving,I thought….and I was fucking right. The tart was clueless.
Off we set with the hounds baying merrily out of the back,they loved an outing in the car,and even I could see her middle-class nose crinkling at the smell of cowshit as the pathetic heater dribbled it’s puny output of hot air. I knew that things weren’t going to plan when she got the wind up and snapped at me to keep both hands on the wheel as I went around the roundabout…looked less than impressed when I explained that I had to keep one hand on the stick or it would pop out of gear. However,the final straw came with the Emergency stop,the brakes on the landrover pulled fierce to one side,and as soon as I slammed all my weight on,we shot off the road,bounced over the kerb and ground to a halt on the pavement with the nose poked in some bugger’s privet hedge….That was enough for her…out she got announcing that she was walking back to the Test centre….”Have I passed then?” I shouted after her…answer, I got none. The hounds and I drove home,slightly crestfallen but still convinced that the woman was obviously on the rag….nothing else could explain her hysterical reaction to a couple of minor blibs.
I did,however,book a couple of lessons before the resit and used the instructors little piss-pot car….luckily it was a male tester and I sailed through.
Good luck with your teat, O.C.
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“Good luck with your teat” should,of course read “Good luck with your test”…..although,I do wish your teats well,whatever condition from which they may be suffering.
🙂 .
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I know that you’re a young person OC. My advice keep your eyes on the road while you’re taking the teat. And don’t make eye contact with the examiner while you’re on the teat.
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OK thanks. It will be an automatic test though – I tried giving manual lessons a go but due to having really poor coordination I don’t feel capable of driving in a manual car. Will be a bit of a ballache only being able to drive automatic but hey, I’m willing to make that sacrifice if it means extra safety.
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What? You haven’t driven till you’ve double d clutched OC…
All the best with the test.
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Such is the problem with having the coordination of a blindfolded hippo RTC. Not happy about it but hey, it is how it is.
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I’m the same OC, so worry ye not.
I only did an automatic test as I am as thick as a pile of congealed shite when it comes to manipulating a gear box. I get all flustered and blonde with it…..plus I just can’t be arsed.
All of the very best with your repeat test. Trust me when I say that if an over-the-hill thicko like me could pass it, anyone can!
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Well I passed the theory when I redid it so thankfully I don’t have to worry about that anymore.
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Morning Dick.
Sounds a lot like my first moped test… and the second… and the third…
Never did pass.
Fuck them. 🙂
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Don’t get me wrong, I would love to and I certainly plan to after I’ve spent some time driving an automatic but not until I’ve built that up first. Unfortunately I’m dyspraxic so my reactions and coordination are a lot worse than everyone else’s and its not a hurdle I have the capability to overcome at the moment. My instructor came to the same conclusion after I did a set of manual lessons.
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Oddly I have never taken my car test(s) even though I can drive a car, albeit on private land. I have a spacial-awareness problem and just cannot judge the end of the bonnet/boot in relation to everything else. More so at night and I can’t see a fucking thing!
And the missus can drive no problem at all: even down narrow roads or tight corners on those multi-storey car parks; she can parallel park, reverse in/out of tight space blah blah.
However, I did pass my two-part (as was) motorcycle test back in 1987. I did my basic off-road CBT and passed that first time; and then my road test (back then it was just an examiner standing on the street corner compared to nowadays when the examiner is on his own bike following behind). I passed that first time too.
I was riding a Kawasaki AR125 with only 12 horses (the legal limit for learner back then). Once passed I moved onto a Kwaker GPZ500, and then the awesome GPz900R; Honda CBR600RR, Honda Fireblade (176 ponies, 185mph, acceleration 0-60mph 4s – best bike ever!) , VFR800 and finally a more sensible Kawasaki ER-6f
Happy days! That is, until I got married and the wife told me in no uncertain terms to either give up biking completely or go for a more slower “normal” bike- hence the lumbering ER-6f.
Would still love to get a car licence, but there’s so many fucking tests now (as well as costing a small fortune), I really can’t be arsed!
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I have that same spatial awareness problem whenever I practice pulling up.
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Oh, rest assured I’m certainly not going the automatic route instead out of laziness – it’s purely because it’s the only option I have right now given my personal circumstances. And I concur, us learners do indeed seem to be cunts.
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Passing lightly over my own record of driving tests – never keen enough on cars to try a third attempt on four wheels, passed bike test largely because there was a mixup on the day and the tester had to follow me around in a car rather than being an actual biker with a radio….phew…
….Pearson the driving test people are the same as Pearson the school exams people. They’re a massive global corporation, heavily into privatising schools and publishing. Their chief education advisor until last year was the cunt who stuffed the UK’s education system for….you guessed it, Tony Blair: ‘Sir’ Michael Barber. They’re a shower of greedy globalist corporate cunts on so many levels they deserve a sound cunting in their own right, as they impose their own flavour of indoctrination on the world, often heavily backed by taxpayers’ money
Good luck with your, er, teat, OC.
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Pearson are definitely greedy destructive cunts who suck the joy out of learning BASTARD CUNTS
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I agree 100%, OC. The staff in my local Pearson test centre were the same.
There were two prime bitches in there, one working on the main desk as you walk in, and the second ran through the rules before they sent you over to wait outside the test room.
They were the rudest fucking cunts I have ever met. There was not even a ‘hello’ when I walked in, just asked me ‘name’ and gestured at me to go and put my shite in the lockers, sit down and shut the fuck up (well, maybe that last part wasn’t ACTUALLY said, but that is what the bitch surreptitiously meant)
The second bitch almost burst my eardrums when I had the audacity to have stood to queue behind some scared looking fucker in front of me, when I was supposed to ‘SIT DOWN UNTIL YOU ARE CALLED!!!’ I tell you, had this not been the closest place that I could do the theory test and I might have to sit it again, I would have lamped that prize cunt straight out (verbally obviously, not physically….hmm well maybe)
Those fuckers are like the Gestapo. I had a tissue up my sleeve as I was recovering from a cold at the time and you would think I was carrying an Uzi with the answers written on it the way those fuckers went into one and insisted I throw it in the bin.
Thankfully, I somehow managed to pass the theory first time, but I did revise for weeks on end as I hadn’t revised since I was popping zits and revising for my CSE Maths (and failed it.) I was so thankful that I need not face those unmitigated harridans again.
Something like a theory test (or any test situation) is extremely nerve wracking, and you would they would have kinder, more understanding people than this in test centres. Ok, so they work with the public and the public can be fucktards and get on your tits, but if you don’t want to have to deal with that, DON’T WORK THERE.
POWER TRIP CUNTS.
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They’re the kinds of people who wouldn’t be out of place in 1930s Germany
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I don’t understand this animosity towards automatic cars. They get you there just as good as manual cars. I didn’t take my test till I was forty, I never needed a car before then. My mother had gone to live in Florida and when I visited her I found everything was spread so far apart, like the corner shop was five miles away, and there was no public transport. I decided the next time I’d hire a car, and there’s like ten autos to every manual over there, just the opposite to here, so I took lessons in an automatic. I don’t see the point in learning three pedals and a stick when you can get by with two pedals and no stick. And the fewer controls you need to think about, the more you can concentrate on the road. Since then I’ve hired half a dozen and owned half a dozen, all automatics.
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