Henry Ruschmann was a cunt.
The other day a well intentioned soul gave my granddaughter a craft set as a birthday gift. A nice thought, was my reaction, until my granddaughter accidentally knocked it off the table whilst playing. This resulted in a container of glitter being scattered everywhere, leaving me struggling to vacuum most of it up.
Now the operative word here is ‘most’. Since that time I’ve been struggling in vain to remove deposits of this shimmering asbestos clone from the table, the settee, the curtains, the carpet and Christ knows where else. It’s migrated around the house like peacefuls; I’m finding it in the bathroom sink, on my pillow case, in the fridge, and it’s even gotten into my fucking tea. These tiny, intensely irritating particles are ubiquitous, so much so that I’m expecting to find some up the crack of my arse imminently. To make matters worse, Christmas is fast approaching, so be prepared for glitter covered cards, paper, decorations…
So what precisely has this got to do with one Henry Ruschmann? If it comes to that, who the fuck WAS Henry Ruschmann? Well, Mr Ruschmann was the cunt (an American cunt, of course) responsible for foisting the diabolical excrescence we call glitter upon the world in the first place.
He’s dead more’s the pity, because I’d like nothing more than to drag the fucker around to my house and make him lick his cunting invention up inch by inch. The absolute fucking cunt.
Nominated by Ron Knee
An obscure but worthy cunting Ron , from the picture I thought it was a new hipster attention seeking fuckwittery to do with their damn beards! Some cunts have taken to stringing Christmas lights in their face furniture as a new ‘fad’. Cunts.
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It’s bizarre LL. I’ve seen a couple of cunts with these lights, and also several women who’ve used some sort of glitter spray in their hair. They look like walking Christmas trees, the fucking wallies.
6
Fuck me, I thought that I was an unreasonable,moaning old Cunt,but you’ve swept into a commanding lead with this one. I was impressed with Sir Limpley’s rather “left-field” Cunting of Spontaneous Human Combustion,but to manage to build up a head of steam over some long dead inventor of Glitter,threaten him with physical assault,and finally refer to him as an “Absolute Fucking Cunt” leaves Sir Limpley’s nominations looking almost sane.
Sterling work, Ron. I salute you.
10
Thank you kind sir. I will long cherish the accolade that I too am an unreasonable, moaning old cunt. A accolade indeed from a legend such as yourself.
10
Awesome cunting Ron !
You are indeed a crabbit moaning cunt which in my book is wholly acceptable
I can only hope the Americunt died asphyxiated by his invention
THE CUNT
1
I hope they filled his coffin with the stuff before they planted the cunt CC. They say that you can’t take it with you, but I’d like to think an exception was made in this case.
5
Their fucking haircuts yell ‘cunt’ as well.
4
I used to give lifts to my daughter and her mates for nights out. The following day I would see my car seats etc covered in fucking glitter. I presume the same as per the cunting.
The stuff of cunts.
3
Nobody wants to find glitter in their arse crack.
Just ask those kids in Vietnam….
11
I had to think about that one for a sec! Nice word play, JR.
5
Ha ha ha ha…
“It’s migrated around the house like peacefuls;”
Excellent stuff ron.
5
Cheers DS. The two have a lot in common. They both get in everywhere then there’s no shifting either of the cunts.
4
For me, this is the number one cuntings of all cuntings. Sir Knee, I salute you.
I FUCKING HATE GLITTER!!
I loathe the stuff. I used to work in a nursery many, many years ago when I was dumb and desperate after leaving college. Whenever there was a ‘craft session’, out would come that cunt stuff and home I would go with it stuck to every fucking crevice known to man. It has been called the herpes of the craft world, and that is what it fucking well is.
This time of year is hell. EVERYTHING has that shite on it. Cards, wrapping paper, gift bags. I am surprised that M&S haven’t yet smothered their fucking turkeys in the cunt yet.
SPANGLY CUNT!
6
Bloody hell Nurse; this is a top drawer bit of cunting in its own right! I return the salute!
3
Sir Knee, I am honoured, many thanks.
I am also thankful to see that I am not the miserable, bah humbag old Scrooge cunt that I thought I was, as others share my hate for that cuntery.
(Even though I am a bah humbag old cunt all year ’round anyway, but that is beside the point)
4
So what about cunts that put edible glitter in their food and drink?
Double-triple cunts!
4
Fucking hell. There’s no accounting for some cunts.
3
Hate it too, Ron. Being a bit OCD, I avoid anything with glitter like the plague – cards, decorations, etc. It is another hazard of Christmas.
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