“Shared” GP appointments

“Channeling” is how my surgery describes the impertinent questioning of the receptionist every time I want an appointment to see my GP. “Channeling”, it is claimed, is designed to aid the efficient allocation of clinical resources. Fuck off.

It’s clearly designed so that my confidential medical history can be shared around the village. The only “channnel” of relevance is the receptionist’s gob which is the size of the Channel Tunnel. If “Channeling” isn’t enough now we have fucking “Sharing” as in shared GP appointments in groups of up to 15 people.

The Russian GRU are rank amateurs compared to the GP’surgery. Want your confidential information out in the public domain? Come along and share it with 14 gobby bastards at your next appointment. Fuck! This effort has prolapsed them again. Cunts all.

Nominated by Fimbriations

82 thoughts on ““Shared” GP appointments

    • I read about these a week or so ago…

      Work ? Fucking unlikely, if you ask me ? Medical confidentiality…what’s that ? I’m sure that the next time my hot blonde GP wants to stick her digit up by bumhole, she’d rather do it in private (I think…).

      Tangentially related (ie barely, but on health issues…) Tom Lehrer singining “I got it from Agnes.” In our GPs waiting room, the world (and its illnesses) is your oyster.

  1. Are you sure this isn’t supposed to be a Cunting for AA group meetings?

    In a room with 14 other cunts… all privy to the state of my arse-grapes?

    Get fucked!

    • The way its going RTC. My local locum (I haven’t seen my nominated GP for 3 years) opens 4 and a half days a week 8am – 6pm, a half day Tuesday for “staff training” and no weekends. The on call is done by some other locum or other. Almost £90k a year these cunts are on, and some of the super surgeries have quacks on £200k a year. The receptionists, admin clerks and pharmacy cunts all booze in the local Inns and the loose lipped cunts peddle every poor bastards ills and maladies like the News of the World. “group therapy or group appointments” wouldn’t make any difference round my gaff – your latest appointment and subsequent pills, potions and treatment has already been discussed and disseminated by the non surgical staff who work there in the boozer between the bingo and the “turn” on that evening.

      • Fucking insanity Cunto. I last saw my GP about 5 years ago, at which time the surgery operated with 5 doctors. Recently discovered by chance that my doctor (top notch bloke) had left the practice and that there were only 2 GPs left, both part time.

        One of several receptionists said I should have received a letter indicating the name of my new GP. Needless to say I didn’t, lazy incompetent cunts.

        Fuck only knows what I’ll find when I next need to make an appointment…

      • Piss was already purple before I read your reply RTC but just to add a little more cunt to the pot I just read that Brexit is now responsible for a bloodbath in the US. That Christine Laguard cunt of the IMF has been pit up to this treachery and I am guessing cunts like Soros and the war criminal B Liar are at the foot of it.
        I think question tome will tip me over the edge so I’m avoiding it. Its from Jockland with four and a half remoaners on so I’m giving it a miss and watching my toenails grow.
        Oh, the “brexit responsible for the worlds ills”

      • Probably very wise of you to pass on Question Time. I shall be recording to watch with porridge in the morning.

        Recording also enables the taking of regular piss cooling breaks.

  2. They’ll come out with all sorts of crazy shite and bollocks before they admit what everybody knows:
    There…..wasn’t difficult was it ?

  3. It is Satanic. Destroy dignity, decorum, modesty and replace it with ‘simple biology’. Cloud, emotionalize the atmosphere with ‘Women’s Rights’. Make terms up like ‘reproductive health’. Professionalize it with a term like ‘procedure’. End result; the 16 year old girl left alone in the clinic, terrified.

  4. Completely off topic, but a Muslim walked into a bar. The punchline got lost after an unfortunate terrorist attack.

  5. I see a private GP in a brand new private hospital. Not half as expensive as you might think.

  6. That’s it, in a nutshell FtF. Apparently it’s had a trial run in some parts of the country, and proved so popular!!! it is to be rolled out across the country. Apparently, patients enjoy shared appointment, because of the support offered by the other sharing patient. Bollocks to that. I’ll get my support from good friends & family. Not some stranger I know nothing about. Treating us as mugs per usual, rather than stating the obvious truth. GP’s unable to cope with ever increasing work load, with many leaving due to stress, and new ones hard to find. Paving over the cracks, instead of fixing the problem. But rich politicians, with their own personal specialists, therapist’s, health experts on hand at the touch of a button. Why bother with us fodder. They sleep behind securely guarded walls, far away from the shit they have landed us!! “Distance enhances their view.” And when the whole of the NHS disintegrates, they’ll find every which way to avoid blame.

    • GP’s overworked and leaving due to stress?? Catch yourself on. My surgery and its lazy bunch of pompous, uppity and totally up their own arsehole bunch of pretentious cunts work a four and a half day week and never weekends or bank holidays never mind on call.
      I know of a young GP who I used to play squash with, left his surgery to go on call for a local group of GP’s. He was driven to the call and back when it suited him to attend without fucking off the poor cunt and calling 999. He had taken a “sabbatical” of 12 months from the practice and his nightly rate, calls or no calls was just shy of £1000 a night. His wife was a GP in the same practice. They live in total luxury on a private estate in the lakes with 2 foreign homes and more luxury motors than Clarkson.
      Overworked, stressed out?? Crock of shit
      If anyone had the brain and money to do the seven years training its like printing your own money. Ditto dentists and any occupation where after a few years losing sleep you are rewarded till you reach 55 and if you have any sense you would, then live off a pension till you are in your 90’s that most of us mere humble cunts wouldn’t earn in 5 lifetimes.
      Fuck all quacks.

      • Agree with mostly all you say, but four and a half days a week? At my last surgery you were lucky enough to get two and a half days out of them, and these were the so called “salaried” GPs.
        2 of the 3 doctors were Wimmin so had two years off on maternity leave for each kid they had. One of them couldn’t stop shagging so was off for four years before I even saw her.

        One doctor I never saw, she only worked on Monday’s, and getting an appointment on a Monday is like a rocking horse with diarrhoea. The other 2 days she did “consultancy” at the nearest hospital which was stuffing £80,000 per day in her pocket for the privilege. I can only guess the other 4 days she was off with backache bending over counting her money, certainly not have needed any laughing gas to alleviate the pain.

        These poor overworked, underpaid doctors I keep hearing the Brexit Bleating Cunts continually wibble on about. Cunts.

    • Seems that the Jews have received e-mails telling them that they are not welcome at McDonnell’s speech this evening. Now. I am fascinated to see how in fuck labour can wriggle out of this one! Any bets ?

  7. All it takes is a receptionist with a loose tongue to drop you in the shit.
    Back in the day of myself pulling birds, I remember catching a dose off this bird called yoyo knickers.
    Her name was a bit of a give away and with hindsight I should have worn a Johnny.
    After visiting the doctor and recieving my prescription for my special cream for my itchy bollocks, I went home and applied the ointment to my nether region. After a week I was cured.
    On my next visit to the pub everyone seemed to no about my problem. It could of only have come from the receptionist”cunt”woman.
    My surgery is now out of town

  8. Isn’t it bad enough that I have to share the fucking waiting room with the dregs of Eastern Europe and the third world now they want me to share the fucking surgery with them as well???
    I’m sure the trash don’t mind as they are getting free health care on tap but I ALREADY PAID FOR IT!!
    Do you understand that you fucking Westminster cunts??
    Get this freeloading shit out of my country.

    • In our local surgery, a Muslim woman goes in to see the doctor, accompanied by her 2 daughters and her Husband…..oh, and I forgot the other fucker who speaks a little English !

  9. I have a lot of contact with my GP and he is a top bloke, but he has now gone onto a 2 day week and the receptionists have started putting obstacles up to see him eg they won’t tell u in advance what days he is working to stop u foning on day it all has to be booked, some of these old cunts are in awe of anything medical, told me “Doctor is very busy” not THE doctor like women who talk about “baby”.

  10. And the madness continues…”a transgender woman, who had already raped two women whilst in jail, was then placed once more in another womens jail, and went on to sexually assault two more.” How long before it happens to a child, with schools now favouring transgender changing, shower rooms, & girl guide officials welcoming them as volunteers.

    • Yea I read about that. Without a doubt the most unconvincing woman I’ve ever seen.
      Saw it on the sky news app….
      Apparently sly news have a special report coming up tonight about the “populist rise of the far right”.
      …I think I’m gonna need to pack myself in ice to stop my piss from flash boiling and taking out half the block.
      Wonder what these lefty cunts are gonna smear the working class with now.

  11. Oddly enough me quack won’t hear orf giving me a joint appoint for me farmer’s or indeed me old horseprong. Bad form rather when pensioners are locked in a cycle orf depression and loneliness. Would enjoy a mass flash orn youtube if it benefits the NHS. What say me hearties? Trafalgar Square Sunday 12am for those orf a haemorrhoidal disposition with the following Sunday reserved for cock and balls embarrassments. Why suffer in silence? Get it oit there.

    • Coming out of what?
      Another man’s bum?
      The cunts shouldn’t have been in there in the first place…

    • I guess they are celebrating the scientific break through today. Two mama mice have had babies without a papa. The two papa mice were not so lucky. Papa mice’s babies all died. Ah well, if two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.

  12. This could now get very interesting Cuntflap!..No tangible evidence perhaps…or was the hashtag unwilling to give evidence?

  13. I bet the Peaceful people don’t fancy this idea. Abdul the taxi-driver and his 12 year old wife/niece probably wouldn’t enjoy discussing their inbred child’s special needs in front of a group of strangers….unless they were Peaceful People too,of course,in which case the women could remain silent while Abdul and his brothers demand free Rohypnol with which to woo their passengers on the school-run.

    Fuck them.

    • Yea and the peaceful doctors wouldn’t be able to grope … sorry … “examine” their female patients.

  14. The Donald’s UK visit cost us nearly £18 million where Obama’s was £1.6 million. So basically around £16 million was spent by police babysitting whinging snowflakes, femminazis and other assorted cunts throwing a tantrum.

    • They released this to deflect criticism of the cost of that fat bitch Eugenie’s wedding security. Plus they still haven’t worked out the cost,apparently,of Harry and Megan’s wedding security yet,even though it happened before Trump’s visit..how convenient.

      Fuck them.

      Evening, L.L.

      • Police commissioner estimated security for Megan’s wedding somewhere between £2m and £4m.

        To get the actual cost you probably need to double it and add an extra £2m for good measure.

        Money well spent apparently as led to believe everyone loves a royal wedding, especially those upper class privileged twats getting married and then presenting us with their bill obviously.

      • Evening Mr F, at least it looks like rain tomorrow for the happy couple and judging by the news reports from Windsor, one man and the obligatory dog turnout.

      • Apparently Camilla’s declined on the grounds of a long-standing shooting party, in Glos.
        Perhaps she could take some twelve-bores and ammo down to Windsor, and we could witness a shotgun wedding of a slightly different type…

        Philip will decide on the morning. Guess he could easily find something better to do, like potter aimlessly round Poundland, kicking a few chavs and gyppos.

    • They talk about it like it’s trumps fault. You’re right, if the snowflakes hadn’t all come out whinging coz he doesn’t have the same opinions as them (boo fuckin hoo), it would’ve probably cost a fraction of what it did.

  15. Above.The shocking bit though is the BBC understands that it is ‘highly unlikely’ he will be sent back to a woman’s prison. Highly unlikely? So it is still a possibility? But come to think of it (the insane position we’re in now) I suppose the authorites would be denying his ‘rights’ as a woman, because he has self- identified, declared himself a woman…her rights would be infringed (if he is sent to an all male prison) so that MUST be taken that into consideration. Words fail me.

  16. So the cunt gets accused and its headline news. The cunt gets acquitted and it is page 5 stuff.

    So the bimbo gives a BJ for a role – what a surprise and then, 5 years later, plays the victim and starts this whole #metoo bullshit. Hope she gets 20 years for perjury.

  17. So if his/her rights are upheld he cannot be sent to a male prison. And if he’s sent back to a woman’s prison there is the possibility that he will rape more female inmates. Where do you send him/her? This could be seen as a get out of jail free card. Mrs Plastic has just said that they should have their own transgender prison. But the men who are now women might object to the women that are now men. So you would have to build two transgender prisons. Nay, many trangender women (according to Mrs Plastic) who have had the full operation violently object to those who simply dress as women. So we would need another special prison.

    • We need a special prison that “identifies as” or is “transitioning” into a gulag or extermination camp…
      See how fast the cunt transitions back.

      • Well our royal navy heroes on the submarines have to put up with racks – one out, one in.
        If prisoners were working (don’t know what at, it’s a rather flimsy plan at the mo, but better thought out than a Dianne Abbott or John McDonnell plan though), then we could cut down the space and they’d be too tired to cause trouble or watch telly or go on Facebook or play pool or lift weights or get their hair done …..
        … save a fortune.

      • http://vcp.e2bn.org/justice/page11532-an-overview-of-hard-labour.html
        Some good ideas here, as you say DTS they cunts in prison need to be Punished and come out never wanting to go back. Riots would mean a instant doubling of sentence as would any other infringement of the rules. And my solution to stop riots is withdraw all staff. Then turn on the iced water sprinkler system the 140dB air raid sirens and the high intensity aircraft anti collision lights. Fuck them and this softly shite. And any cunt bringing drugs or other contraband in gets an automatic 2 years inside.And of course all imported criminals should be executed and paradropped back to their original starting point.

      • ‘Deadly Doug’ has croaked it, had him in DP one before last then dropped him, inconsiderate bastard.

  18. Sorry off topic but…
    Anyone else watching the pledge on sly news and not been carted off in an ambulance yet?
    June sarpong and Afua Hirsch at the same table…
    *deep breath, deep breath*
    A few minutes ago they were lording our “law based system” and now they’re slating kavanah coz “he couldn’t prove that he wasn’t guilty”.


    • Believe it or not, I have TWENTY episodes of The Pledge recorded and waiting to be watched!

      Could be worse though – my missus is actually planning to tune in to Princess Eugenic’s £2 million waste of public money wedding tomorrow…

      • With Sarpong and Boris’s sister moaning you can power the street for a week with your vaporized piss.

      • TWENTY!!!?
        Mate, you’re gonna have to be restrained and kept away from all sharp objects.
        And heavy objects.
        And the telly itself…

        Good luck. I can only manage the pledge once every couple of months.
        …. unless michelle dewbury is on…
        What a woman!

      • I’ve been putting off the pleasure DTS… known in the trade as ‘Deferred Gratification’.

        Michelle Dewbury’s single, you know. Have been known to freeze frame and whack one out over her now and again.

      • She’s from the same neck of the woods as I’m in…
        If i ever bunp into her or “accidentally” brush up against her, I’ll make sure I pass on your sentiments bruv…

        ….then I’ll probably sneak off and whack one out too! Ha ha.

      • ….and don’t even get me started on princess whatever-the-fuck’s wedding….
        I’m a royalist (kind of) but only for a few of ’em.
        I’m not paying for it am I?

      • Mate I’ve been self employed for years. Now I’m on paye I can see just how much the government rape from everyone’s wages each week. Income tax… EXTORTIONATE, ni.. EXTORTIONATE, employers ni.. FUCK ME!
        That’s not including the corporation tax, tax on the vans, vat…
        How the fuck is the country skint?!
        Fuckin twats need to stop giving it away…

        I’d rather give it to princess whateverthefuck than foreign aid but if it was up to me they could all get fucked and give me some of my HARD EARNED money back.
        Cunts cunts cunts.

      • It would be bad for your health to know what the Government spends your hard earned cash on DTS.

        You’d spontaneously combust.

    • Ha ha ha. Perfect response, I really wish Malone or Ferrari had come back with that!

  19. Only white heterosexual males should go to prison. Everybody else is a victim of society and needs treatment for their issues.
    That’s social justice.
    It would also save a shitload of money which would enable us to give even bigger tax breaks to the rich cunts and import even more cheap labour so the rich cunts can make even more money , which they don’t pay any tax on in the first place.
    Any left over we can toss a coin to decide which tinpot dictators to give it to…….Africa or Brussels?

    • Freddie, that’s pretty much bang on the money. Never a truer word spoken or written. You are absolutely right. It’s a cunt..

  20. I hear this Trannie rapist has got a life sentence today. Obviously they can’t send him to womens’ prison again so they have to send him to heaven……. a prison full of horny , sexually frustrated blokes who will stick their cocks up anything. ( especially the peacefuls)
    There’s an opportunity here for some doctor to find out what happens to an arsehole when it is invaded by hundreds of cocks over a short period of time.
    I look forward to reading about it in “The Lancet.”

    • A minimum of 9yrs, 6months. Murderers as little as 15. The guy who ran down two Muslims out side a Mosque, A minimum of 40years. British justice, British Politicians. Rotten to the core.

      • Dead right… Peaceful parkee scum leeching UK benefits while involved in grooming and raping girls in Rochdale… The cunt gets 4 (fucking four) years!… Gets out in three and goes back on benefits without a hitch…. True story of how pure human filth is indulged here in Britain…

      • Spot on Norman. There is no way back..The politicians & Snowflake’s will continue on the path of brinkmanship, until they succeed. I often wonder, if the peaceful immigrants, are gleefully wringing their hands, as they watch us sink under the shit. Then nuke the lot of us.

  21. Snotty cunt savern quack’s receptionist: “Ahhhnd woyyyy do yoo need to see the Doc-tarrr cos we’s own-leeee gort ay groop appointmehhhnt in’it!”

    LOUD VOICE: “Yes I’m afraid I had sex with a male prostitute who arrived from Zaire yesterday and they think he’s got ebola. I’ve still got some of his jizz on my hand here, for the doctor to test for the virus… ATCHOOOOO!”

    Several moments later in the doctor’s shared appointment: “That’s strange? These things are usually packed with preggers letterboxes, Kyle scum and Civil Servants, however as you’re the only person here…”

    “Yes doctor, about my sciatica…”


    Stupid fucking idea that will increase numbers because nosey cunts will attend just forra neb!


    • “Sciatica?” Well our group therapy sex will soon put paid to that. Booked appointments not necessary. Just walk,or waddle in.

      • And there’ll always be one gobshite hogging all the say.

        Not to mention a doubling of numbers when the interpreters have to translate what’s being said like an impromptu UN meeting (if Lutonistan is anything to go by)!

Comments are closed.