Glasses on Head Wankers

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Yes i’m talking about YOU! Cunts who wear sunglasses ( or any other glasses ) on the top of their heads. There are variations of course…..hanging out of the shirt pocket, on top of the baseball cap, even reversed on the back of the neck. What the fuck are you doing? Do you think it makes you look cool? No, it makes you look like a wanker who is trying so hard not to look like a wanker.

If you don’t want to wear them put them in the case and put the fucking case in your bag. Don’t tell me you haven’t got a bag because all women carry a bag. If you are a bloke and you wear glasses on your head you obviously carry a manbag so stick them in there Nancy. I’m sure you can fit them in alongside your manpurse you tosser.

I don’t know why this buffoonery winds me up so much but it fucking does. That’s it.

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

63 thoughts on “Glasses on Head Wankers”

  1. Nearly as bad as men who drape sweaters – especially pink ones – over their shoulders. Cunts!

    • Now we’re talking, with the sun going in and out I’ve occasionally put them on my head as I’m not a fucking man bag man! Neither do I wish to carry a case, but wearing them like that as a fashion statement? FFS! , equally as bad are cunts wearing them on extremely dull days thinking it looks film star cool , but neither get me in to a heightened state of agitation, that is reserved for Cunts who as OC said wear jumpers over their shoulders like some kind of 1960 Ivy League prep twat! Although I’ve seen this particularly offensive look in the U.K. it’s appears to be more prevalent in Europe,
      Take an evening stroll along the promenade in Spain Italy etc and see how many silver fox’s you see sporting this cuntish look, it’s fucking infested with them, does it mark them out as stylish? Does it make them look wealthy? Do you think “ bet he’s got a yacht “ ? Oh maybe you just simply think CUNT?
      It appears that being in close proximity to water triggers this effect…

  2. I’m a four-eyed cunt, but I have never taken the need to push my specs up above my forehead for precisely that reason – I don’t want to look like some pretentious twat!

    Neither have I felt inclined to hang them around my neck on a piece of string, or hold one arm in my teeth while using both hands for doing something else close up (like fondling some tits!); I will admit to stuffing them in my breast pocket of my shirt from time to time; but never stupid enough to put them in my trouser pocket, and then sit on the fucking things (like a friend of my mine did while in a pub. Twat!)

    If you find glasses a pain, go for contacts or have some tried and trusted laser surgery done by a back street peaceful for £50 an eye!

    You’ll never look back

    • Wish I could!
      Sadly the shape of my eyes means I can’t wear contacts and I’m not suitable for laser correction.

      Got to admit wearing glasses and nothing else can be quite sexy can’t it big boy? 😈

      • I must say my quarter inch thick Benny Hill NHS prescription glasses are rather alluring.
        Come up and see me sometime.
        Good morning.

      • A fit bird wearing glasses (black frames preferably) whilst smoking a cigarette has to be the ultimate turn on!

      • Morning RTCP….
        I think your confusing smoking a cigarette with being given a blow job! 😂😂

      • Like me you must have astigmatism. Having astigmata, if disclosed, gets you followed by people who think you are a living saint and close to God….. I think. Whatever, it’s a cunt because you’re stuck with it.

      • That’s why I always wear gloves.

        (Though prefer to go bareback when I’m wanking).

    • There’s nowt wrong with a man bag when you’re old and knackered and you by need it to keep your life support system in i.e. inhalers, gtn spray, wallet, specs case, but never a Tampax or a man purse. Mine has a rip cord that inflates an emergency blow up doll, hence the need for inhalers etc. With a man bag I know I look a cunt but heaven forbid I’d be so cuntish as to wear glasses on me head while opening me man purse at a checkout. That would be a cunt.

      • Rather a man bag than insisting an accompanying female puts your bits an bobs in their already full handbag – that is cuntish behaviour of the highest order. If it doesn’t for in your pockets, wear a frigging bag. Some cunts who call themselves ladies have the audacity to moan on about cargo shorts/trousers. Never does a cunt with a bag or cargo shorts have to ask a lady to carry their keys or phone though!

        As for glasses, on top of head can be forgiven. In the middle of the forehead though… I despair. I can’t see this without screeching ‘cunt’ wailing inside my head like an onset of tinnitus. Maybe if we just addressed the glasses on said cunts instead of looking them in the eye the message would get through. Try it, please, stop this insanity from these cunts with no self respect.

  4. Women, sunglasses the size of Triumph Spitfire windscreens a permanent fixture on top of their fucking heads, day or night, whatever the fucking weather, indoors or outdoors.

    You look fucking ridiculous.

  5. I knew one chap in the same trade as me who wore sunglasses ALL the time even when working in a gloomy stable, he was without doubt the most disliked twat amongst the rest of us in the trade locally, needless to say he was a cunt of the first water, CUNT!

  6. It’s a well known fact that too much wanking causes short-sightedness. People who wear glasses will have been told this and yet chose to ignore the warnings. They only have themselves to blame. Four-eyed self-abusers.

    Fuck them.

    • Ha ha – that’s an old wives tale! Any real man of the world and his latex wife can tell you it’s blindness that wanking causes.

      And if you smoke marijuana you’ll sire black babies… at least that’s what my old man told me…

      • My latex wife is quite an old model and has refused to say much on the topic. Just continually gawks at me and wants a hug.

        Why did you opt for a talking version RTC? Surely that defeats the point!

        Good morning.

      • Morning Chunky.

        She can’t talk, mercifully. She told me with her “come to bed” eyes.

      • ‘Fraid it’s all true, Freddie. A lifetime of being a rampaging Wanker has left me with the eyesight of a Mr. Magoo mole.

        For Shame.

  7. I have to put them up so I can read ISAC on my phone.

    I know I am a cunt but didn’t realize for this!

  8. Trouble with that Cuntflap is you’d shag what you’d think was a gorgeous bird yet she’d have a face like a wet tea bag. Trust me, I’ve had cataracts and old bags look like they’ve been steam ironed.

    • Yeah, he might have got away with that back then but the peacefuls have tightened their grip. This is where we are in London now…….can the blacks outvote the sons of Islam?
      That , my friends, is the reality of “multiculturalism.”

    • “Tell Mama”

      FFS.

      If you whisper so much as a word to Mama, the ghost of Jimmy Savile will bust you open every night…

  10. This wasn’t easy. Not only did Firefox decide it needed a compulsory update (promising to restore my tabs when it had finished, but didn’t) as I embarked on this response, but I realised with a sense of shock and betrayal that I didn’t know what the arms/legs/sidebars which connect the spectacle frame to the ear were actually called. They are called temples, I discover. And so I would like to add to this excellent cunting:

    Cunts who wear their specs on a string round their neck, in the hope that someone will mistake them for a literary critic. And cunts who hang their glasses off the front of their shirts by one *temple* inserted down the neck area. I have nothing more to say on the subject.

  11. Made the mistake of going shopping without me specs.
    Found a DVD that looked right up my street.
    ‘Bald And Barely Legal.’

    Difficult to masturbate over UK tyre tread depth limits….

  12. Morning all
    Good idiosyncratic cunting Fred. It’s amazing the daft things that can wind you up. I saw a load of Chinese tourists (think they were Chinese) getting off a coach the other day and most of them had on those stupid fucking mouth masks they wear. You’d have thought they were back in some Chinese industrial shitehole where to breathe in is to get lung cancer. This was in Edinburgh. Stupid cunts.

    • They are making sure that the latest mutant Chinese flu virus doesn’t escape from their systems before the tour bus takes them south of the border. Then the masks are off in earnest.

  13. Just heard on the radio that Man Utd are considering having gender neutral toilets.
    What the fucking fuck!! Has the world gone completely batshit crazy!! Trannies!!! At football??
    Where’s Norman?
    I bet he’s got something to say about this.

  14. I now wear varifocals so there is no excuse for pushing pair of distance glasses up onto the top of my head when trying to read fine print.

    Four-eyed, ageing old cunt I am.

  15. Wanking is not for me, though I do wear glasses. Never on my head thought.
    My worry is that will shoving my fist up my shitter every night watching news at ten affect my eyesight.
    Advice would be appreciated.

      • Try using unsalted butter.

        Top-tip curtesy of Mr Fiddler… posted on the ‘Katie Tyler’ nom.

      • Thanks Mr puff.
        Will pop into spar on the way home and buy a a couple of 200g blocks of the finest unsalted, I shall use a knob of it tonight while watching the news.
        Will let you no how I get on.
        Appreciation goes out to Mr fiddler.
        Who I’ve got a soft spot for.

      • You’re welcome.

        I think it’s fair to say we all have special place in our hearts for Mr Fiddler – he receives a substantial subsidy from the EU to farm gerbils you know!

        In fact DF is probably the greatest authority on the ways of poofery in the world… EVER. A regular Margery Poofs him.

    • My advice is don’t watch news at ten, it’s bollocks.
      Self fisting I can’t help you with i’m afraid.

    • Don’t be a CUNT! Is all the advice anyone ever needs. Watching News at Ten and fisting your botty hole could lead to an anal fistula which you really don’t need. Don’t watch News at Ten and you won’t get a sore arse. There’s a 12 step programme for that somewhere….

    • The BBC recommends paying the license fee. It’s can be done online and is a quick, easy and legitimate alternative to bashing your sphincter with a closed fist.

      • Thanks for the advice cunty.
        I’ve already tried the Big Black Cock and didn’t have to pay a fee.

    • The only good thing about News at Ten was watching Anna Ford back in the early 80s when I was in my 20s – would have loved to haven given her a “bong” or two

      • I always wanted to bang Julia Somerville. myself….And Ford was sexy too… Now one has to be a wasp chewing tuppence flicking dyke to be a female mewsreader… Especially on the BB of C…..

  16. Not as bad as the silly cunts who insist on wearing shorts over trousers as a fashion statement .

  18. Glasses on the head is just one of the affectations adopted by those with low self esteem. What miserable lives these inadequate people must lead, to feel that they’ve no option but to buy the latest fashion wear or to have permanent graffiti etched on their bodies in order to feel that they measure up. What kind of existence is that, to be so afraid of the opinions of others?

  19. Cunts who wear sunglasses on the london underground. The one place guaranteed never to receive sunlight.

    Unfortunately never seen any fall down the gap or get sizzled on the live rail.

  21. Glasses perched on the end of his nose. ‘I’m balanced’ he said. Hands on his head. Later-‘Am I off-centre?’ (when I had provoked him) one hand in his pocket, slightly tilted.

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