Zombie Pedestrians

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A Government transport advisor has come up with a suggestion to protect those selfish lemming-like cunts who wander our streets, eyes glued to their handsets, updating Facecunt or looking at a YouTube video of a cow pat that vaguely resembles John Prescott.

Text walking lanes, painted white arrows and strips of red lights on kerbs to warn the gormless fuckwits to stop and look before crossing, “a strong case for redesigning infrastructure over relying on other methods of changing behaviour”.

So remember that next time your local council cut funding for social care, the bin collections go monthly and they start whinging about austerity, personally I think it could be a winner provided these ‘text walking lanes’ merge into one continue on to Beachy Head.

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator

70 thoughts on “Zombie Pedestrians”

  1. If I had been in a Chelsea tractor I would have killed three zombie Chinese students yesterday – straight across the road without looking. Unfortunately I was on the m/c, with better brakes and self-preservation to consider. The bike was unharmed. The cunts weren’t even using their phones. Should I invest in four wheels, the better to assist natural selection?

    • I have Komodo. The gixxer went last Saturday. Too many dozy cunts around on the road (including said zombies) for me. After 20 years of motorbike fun it’s now 4 wheels all the way. Fuck them, all of them.

      • I deeply sympathise. Add a ‘fuck them’ for me. And put an ‘ex-biker’ sticker on your rear window so I can treat you with the respect you deserve.

  2. Fuck the only thing worse than these moron cunts are the bastards who leech off their stupidity.

    Oh and moron school kids who think that walking in the middle of the road is perfectly.acceptable.

  3. “West Midlands Police said Fred West’s name had now been removed from the adverts.”

    All predictably pathetic.

    Btw, that cunt walking into the fountain was obviously staged. I speak as a body language expert.

    And Michael Gove can get fucked.

    • My first reaction was also that the fountain clip was staged.

      On another matter:

      Jeremy Corbyn: More EU talks if MPs reject Brexit deal

      No you stupid old cunt- it means we will leave the EU without a deal, and not before fucking time.

  4. Haven’t the coppers got something better to do than screwing money out of gullible, weirdo thrill seekers? Especially on Halloween when the streets are full of two bob shits terrorising vulnerable OAPs.
    Fucking useless cunts!

  6. Fat sow Lady Nougat strikes again!

    ‘Labour should seek to extend the Article 50 period to delay Brexit , Emily Thornberry said, as “we cannot leave in the current circumstances”.’

    https://www.standard.co.uk/news/politics/labour-government-should-extend-article-50-to-put-brakes-on-brexit-says-emily-thornberry-a3945671.html

    What “current circumstances” pray tell? Presumably she means “that pesky democratic mandate, as voted for by the British people.”

    Cunt.

    • Nice of Lady Fatarse to turn up for her part time job. She must be busy at this time of year what with all the new students moving into her portfolio of buy to let properties. Yes, must stop Brexit…….think of all those rich foreign students with their posh pockets stuffed with Daddy’s money.
      Lovely Jubbly.

    • Jesus RTC that’s one fat ugly gob she’s got on her. Her whole smug, self satisfied expression in that pic just yells ‘I’m a right cunt, me!’

      • “Address me by my PROPER title, you littlebollox !! I am LORD Squeegee.”

        Sows with horse-prongs…

    • A fucking Zeppelin in human form, hopefully she’ll spontaneously combust. The fat idle cunt.
      Good evening.

      • Good evening RTC. Hot air balloon, very enjoyable. Piloted by a wiminz ,who broke some air traffic control regulation so was in for a bollocking. Women drivers …Ha !
        I rode on a young darkie lady who resembled a zeppelin, many years ago, but I was young and drunk.
        I am not Jeremy Corbyn.

  7. Look, there’s another gang of Zombie cunts – FIFA.

    Mo Salah scored plenty of goals last season, some beautiful, some lucky, but a lot of goals and was, if not the best player, probably the most watchable one. But Noooo,, give the award to someone else.

    FIFA are the equivalent of a Football EU; corrupt, myopic, cowardly cunts.

  8. This very afternoon I watched a zombie cunt mother walking with her toddler son who trailed behind her whilst she was engrossed with talking on her mobile phone. The wee lad could have wandered onto the road for she knew as she couldn’t see him and hadn’t a clue what he was up to. Accident waiting to happen the daft bint.

    • Glad that a messy accident was avoided, otherwise we’d be suffering Dog knows how many hours of blethering crap about it on the eejit lantern.

      When I wor a nipper, one false move anywhere near a road, and Tufty the Squirrel would go for your nuts.

  9. Evening all, just looked and apparently this has been a thing in China for years… the fucking stupidity of people. If someone wanders into the road with their head in their phone looking at facefuck or twatter and gets splatted that’s their fault.

    • Well it certainly isn’t working. Every day I’m blessed with new liveleak videos of multiple trollops eye fucking their mobiles and getting reversed over by a lorry full of gravel.

      They love stopping the lorry with the tyres on top of them too. Show that to dopey kids in school and they might just avoid having their skulls popping under 30 tons of steel.

  11. I know he’s not been my favourite cunt in recent months, but good on Jose Mourinho for putting that uppity and strutting cunt trumpet, Pogba, in his place… Mourinho has told Paul Pogba he will not captain Manchester United again because of concerns about the midfielder’s attitude… Mourinho said, “The game against Wolves was an important lesson; a lesson that I repeat week after week after week, a lesson that some boys are not learning… Every team that plays Manchester United are playing the game of their lives, and we need to match that level of aggression, motivation and desire – 95% isn’t enough when others give 101%…”

    I reckon Mourinho has tried to be conciliatory since the summer and made a peace gesture with the Captain move, albeit a temporary one… But now that’s been thrown back in his face by that bolshy bigheaded black frog…,. Pogba, angling for a move does himself no favours with his agenda….I’ve certainly not been Jose’s greatest champion, but the time has come for Pogba to fuck off and be fucked off…. Drop him, make him train with the kids, play him in the reserves, then get shut in January , the corrosive blambo gobshite cunt….

    • Hear hear Norman
      Like the skulking cunt eyetie Ballotelli – talked a great job but never turns up. For the money that United paid you want a top drawer top class top goal maker / scorer who, on occasions has a bad game and not a fucking liability who looks like half the time he isn’t even interested and on occasions has a good game. On the JM point – totally agree. We aren’t playing like a United of the 70’s / 80’s when we won fuck all but enjoyed almost every game. Its fucking hard work watching them – hopefully my nightmare wont come true but its looking likely – Leeds (them horrible cunts) promoted and the bin dippers winning the Prem.

      • We need another Buchan, Robson, Cantona, or Keane on the pitch… A leader who will take control and kick others up the arse if required…. United haven’t had a proper captain since Keane or Gary Neville (Rooney? For fuck’s sake!), but the only one there now who could even be considered is David De Gea….

      • Yes Norman,
        But for that to happen United need to either let JM buy who he thinks he needs and drop Woodward / Glazier inc. or let the Yanks take us out of the Premiership and fuck JM off. We aren’t in need of a coach we are in dire need of a manager in the vein of SAF or Sir Matt. If United had bought on stats (which seems every player is measured on) we wouldn’t have seen the likes of any team prior to SAF. Even Georgie could be a lazy cunt but could turn a game in a heartbeat, just like Robbo or Keano could. Rooney broke the mould of giving the armband to the capable organised gobby all rounder and its now earned on who shouts I want a transfer close season. We have talent in the Academy, fantastic talent, that probably wont see the pitch at OT. I thought the new U21 league that was set up a couple of seasons ago which allowed one player in each team regardless of age to encourage youth and bring experience hasn’t proved fruitful. I can’t believe how much has been spent on players since SAF retired but fuck me, we have bought some proper dogshite. Di Maria and Falcao. were utter fucking wastes.

      • He’s a LOT like Balotelli, Cunto. Lazy, solipsistic, churlish and overrated. Similar to Bentekke and Lukaku. A marketing, Emperor’s new clothes triumph over substance.

  12. Zombie pedestrians will be in for a shock if they walk into my path, my bumpers will knock their teeth out or smash their nips countersunk. Luckily its 4×4 with multi diff locks so they won’t impede my progress.

  13. All pedestrians are Cunts. Bad enough the ones looking at their phones,but it’s not just them. Zombie pensioners,crawling over the Pelican crossings like chemically-coshed tortoises. Fat Slag mothers pushing their latest ratty-faced brat in a pram with one hand, while dragging another screaming On The Spectrum benefit passport brat with the other. They take up the entire pavement expecting everyone else to step into the traffic in order to make way for their grand progress. Groups of secretary class office workers who suddenly stop to peer in the window of some dress shop to admire a dress which is about 6 sizes too small for their Greggs pasty nourished fat forms. School children,screaming and shouting in gangs as they make their way to the chicken-shack and then on to a bit of shoplifting or granny-mugging. The Gays mincing along holding hands while screaming “Oh, you bitch” at each other as they make their way to the nearest public toilets. Obese people taking up all pavement waddling along from the doctors surgery to the nearest cream-cake shop. Husband and wife teams walking side by side as they argue about whether the local pound shop has a sale on.
    All of the Cunts are oblivious to the fact that some people may have appointments and shouldn’t be held up while walking to their business by wasters….and don’t even get me started on fuckers riding their pushbikes on the pavement or,even worse,the dreaded Spacca chariot hordes.

    Fuck them.

  14. Feck me the horror has officially begun, just looking through freeview channel listing and at 62 is the fecking True Christmas Channel. Feck me fecking sideways its still September you mad cunts.

    • Yes Civvydog and 8 more Christmas channels scheduled before the end of this month on freeview.
      B&M bargains had their Chrimbo stuff out 1st week in September and DFS advertised 3 weeks ago (must have crept under your radar) that your suite would be delivered in time for Christmas
      The calendar seems to consist of 2 events. Relentless Summer holidays when you are freezing your nuts off or Christmas when you are fucking melting with the heat. They said this would happen in my latter years – cops / doctors looking younger and afraid to acknowledge a smile from a 14 year old girl for fear of accusations of lechery or liking the look of that cardigan in Dunne and co’s sale window. (the last line courtesy of Jasper Carrot). Thankfully the last line has evaded me – I still think I am too young for Gant clothing 😉

      • I must admit that the older i get the smuttier and younger the girls look, i cant remember them looking as such when I was that age, in fact a lot of em were as bad as the chaps.

      • It’s weird, but I occasionally find myself attracted to women as old as 35 these days. Mind you, they tend to be the ones that look young for their age.

  15. Not necessarily phone related but those annoying people that try and steer a Waitrose trolley with one hand whilst holding their free coffee in the other… oblivious to the fact that they are scraping 45lbs of metal against your car. Twats.

      • I remember when this site wasn’t plauged by global homo now we have cunters recommending to engage in sodomy smdh

        Don’t fall for the homo trap Fiddler MPG has anal herpes and wants to infect you with aids no doubt

  17. The Great British Bake Off.

    Mrs Stroker likes it.

    Just out of interest checked to see how much that awkward helmet Noel Fielding who is embarrassing and adds precisely nothing to the programme is paid for his efforts.

    A basic salary of £200k which is expected to increase to over £500k with extras.

    For what exactly? Stupid clothes and a stupid haircut?

      • ‘Tell what it is yet?’

        And, yes, Noel Fielding is a monumental gaping sinkhole of a cunt…

        Funny how all Noels are cunts… Coward, Edmonds, Gallagher, Fielding…… And I hear the Channel Four version of ‘The Great Peaceful Bake -Off’ has added the living nightmare, Jo Brand to its ranks…. if it was a choice between a threesome with Brand and Sandi Toksvig and being poisoned with novichok, I would say, ‘Anyone got Bad Vlad’s phone number?’….

      • After Dirk Bogarde was in The Sea Shall Not Have Them, Coward apparently said, I don’t see why, everybody else has. Catfight!

      • Wouldn’t mind giving Ruby one.

        She is the only reason I have the slightest interest in the programme.

  18. Leaving aside the traffic dangers you have to be mad to be staring at facefuck or whatever on the street. It’s so easy for a student architect to snatch it out of your hand and the cunt is away. I know somebody it happened to and I personally witnessed a talented rapper on a bike snatch one off a table outside a pub.
    Personally I never use my phone in the street unless I get a call. Even then I take a good look around and if it’s some cunt I don’t know I don’t answer it.
    All part of living in a big city as our friend Suckdick always says.

  19. A judge in Pennsylvania has jailed comedian Bill Cosby for three to 10 years for sexual assault…. He’ll be out in three or even less, cuz he bur-lack!

    Also, have any of the Time’s Up celebrishagbags: Natalie Portmouth, Skanklett Johansscunt, Mila Kuntis, J-law (tof cocks), Evan Rachel Nutjob etc been up in arms about this diabolical Hollywood sex fiend? What do you mean, ‘No’?! Oh silly me, it’s because Cosby is a dark chappie and his life ‘matters’… Of course….

    Fucking slags!

  21. Did any of you Cunters see Keir Starmers performance on sky TV this morning??
    Sky Cunt “ are you advocating a second referendum?”
    Queer s “ well blah blah man in the street didn’t vote for this, yada yada, blah blah ”
    Sky Cunt “ you haven’t answered my question” do you advocate a second referendum or people’s vote?”
    Queer s “ haven’t met anybody who agreed to this , blah blah yada yada” and so on and so forth….

    And there I was thinking Labours brexit policy was ambiguous!!
    Fucking Cunts!!! 😡😡😡

  22. And I wonder how many pins the celebrislags’ James Franco doll has in it by now?
    Their Time’s Up shite has nothing to do with abuse or harassment issues…. They don’t give a fuck about who’s been harassed, assaulted, or abused…. They’re just trying to look good and like they’re actually arsed because they’re shitting their smelly expensive knickers about Uncle Harvey grassing them up…. Those celebrity gluebags are as fake as their tits and noses….

  23. Off point!!!
    What he fucks wrong with the hunchback??
    After hawking her unwanted chequers plan all over Europe looking more like Arthur Daley trying to sell a clocked motor than a British PM she eventually gets told by goblin faced tusk and EU loving grab a granny whore macron to FUCK OFF!! Instead of coming home and having a think she’s still trying to sell this fucking turd!!
    Absolutely nobody likes it! Absolutely Nobody wants it!! WTF……..

  24. Not so much a cunting more of a what the fuck moment
    Morrisons supermarket have just aired an advert WITH NO BLAMBOS!!!!!
    What the fuck ????
    Expect it to be canned and turned into a requiem for the Windrush.
    Fuck but did they get some praise today? 50 million kilted after the 1918 flu epidemic and the blambo liebour are having a go about half a dozen blambos who couldn’t be bothered changing their visitor status to citizenship way back
    A scary titbit – Enoch Powell’s constituency in Birminghamabad where he was an MP now has a black female MP. Fuck my tall hat. We are doomed.

    • Maybe the ads are clear but…Oh no !!

      They’re in the meat pies, the tins of mince & onions, catfood (same difference, I guess).

      Saw something quite tasty-looking being adverised on the box the other pm; thought it could be handy for late nights after my evening classes.
      It was bloody Sheba mog-food.

  26. They aren’t Zombie Pedestrians you inconsiderate bigots they are NPC’S Non playable characters just scroll through their one sentence dialogue and accept the next quest… obviously

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