X Factor (3)

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X-Factor 2018 EP 1 needs cunting.

The idiots (family) in my house insist they watch this pap and so – for the first two or three episodes – I watch alongside them.

Why? Cos I love the car crash fuckers whose tuning forks were last used to dig tatties out of the ground.

This year I have not seen one shite cunt (in the non plastic pop sense) yet. So what’s the fucking point!?!

But the real piss-boiler is having to tolerate the vocal squeakings (audible to pipistrelles only) of some Pikey bog-trotter YOOF who they gave chance, after chance, after chance to get something, anything right, just cos the cunt looks like a boy band reject

Fuck off Cowell you cunt, show the real fucking dross that everyone actually wants to piss themselves at rather than the gushing over the “culturally enriched” fuckers who are “always great” (even when they are not) and sympathy Emerald Isle cunts who are simply dreadful but whom we feel responsible for because of the potato famine or summat.

EP1 is enough for me. From now on X Factor = a 4cer of McEwan’s Export in the kitchen wi’ the radio on!

Cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

55 thoughts on “X Factor (3)”

  1. I can honestly say I have never watched a single episode of this obvious shite… the trailers alone are enough to keep my piss boiling over an average weekend.
    Expect the wife has caught an episode or two (we have TVs in virtually every room) but doubt even she would touch it with a barge pole nowadays.

    Cunt TV on stilts.

    • Same here. I’ve never watched the show and couldn’t pick any of the winners out of a line-up, and if someone just gave me a cd of their’s, i’d rather stick it in the microwave, just to look at the bright and shiny colours, than force myself to listen to it.

    • Ive only ever watched one clip of this bollox,the one where a fat,ugly middle aged woman with a tash stood there being ridiculed before she started singing and everyone was astounded as they realized she was a world class soprano.Cant be arsed to google the bitch but apparently she made millions,and deservedly so.Only good thing is If anybody says to me “did you watch X Fuckeder etc” I know straight away Im dealing with a retard.

  2. That Cowell cunt and his freakshow for Britscum has killed Rock ‘N’ Roll and popular music in Britain… Because of this shite record companies have no interest in signing and promoting bands… Bands as in guitar, bass, drums, singer… They now just want slag mime acts like Little Mix, Britschool one key fat cows like Adele, or nognig grime and ‘R&B’ shite like Bruno Marsbar and Stormzy (cunt)…. I am lucky and grateful that I grew up with Joy Division, Buzzcocks, The Beat, The Jam, New Order, The Fall, The Specials, Motorhead, Depeche Mode, Gang Of Four, The Police and so many more… And I don’t think any of the bands mentioned above would ‘make it’ if they were around now, because none of them would fit the identikit blueprint of music business cunts and scum like Cowell, and also because there are far too any sheep and chav cunts who blindly worship and follow this manufactured and staged shite… Even a band like Led Zeppelin would now struggle to get noticed if they formed today because the chav thickos at large and their puppetmaster Cowell simply wouldn’t be arsed… I was never a big Sex Pistols fan, but I would love something like them to come along now… To make people sit up and to fuck up Cowell and his X Factor shit…

    Oh, and what’s worse than that mincing fat fruit, Robbie Williams being on X Factor?
    That mincing fat fruit, Robbie Williams and his horrendous, plug ugly, human leech of a wife being on X Factor with him… What a pair of fucking cunts….

    • “I was never a big Sex Pistols fan”
      I was/am a fan and still have fond memories as a kid watching them being interviewed on live tv by a middle aged piss artist called Bill Grundy who was so drunk that the Pistols managed to call him a dirty old man,a bastard and a dirty fucker before the poor cunt realized what was happening.Ive loved em ever since

      • The bill grundy thing was just manufactured outrage m8, nothing big about punk youths swearing.. grundy coaxed them into it he was giving the band free publicity and advertising honestly

        Malcolm McClaren probably asked Grundy for a little bit of melodrama to generate controversy

  3. I can honestly say I have never watched a single episode of this obvious shite… the trailers alone are enough to keep my piss boiling over an average weekend.
    Expect the wife has caught an episode or two.

    Cunt TV on stilts.

    Could not put it better myself Mr Creampuff. Nothing to add but only to say I have NEVER watched ANY “talent shows”, including:

    Opportunity Knocks;
    New Faces;
    Search for a Star;
    Stars in Their Eyes;
    The Big Big Talent Show;
    Popstars/Pop Idol/The X Factor;
    Fame Academy;
    How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?;
    Britain’s Got Talent.

    Something about watching hopeful aspiring wannabees bereft of shame or any talent churns my stomach because so cringe worthy, and judging by the so called talent on our TV screens a complete waste of time (unless you are the money making Simon Cowell obviously).

    They have similar talent type shows in Japan, however the difference is if the performer is particularly useless the audience laughs with them. In the UK I feel the audience laughs at them.

    Either way, cannot stand them.

    • You missed ‘Opportunity Knocks’ Willie… which in the ’60s I couldn’t help catching sight of, cos my parents and little brother always had the fucker on. Cunts.

      The thought of Neil Reed still has the power to simmer my piss…

      • Fucking Hell!

        Sorry Willie – just noticed Opportunity Knocks at the TOP of your list.

        What is it with this dementia?

        Good afternoon, btw.

      • Cunt tv on stilts? Lol RTCP 😂😂
        X factor…. the only thing this fucking shower has proved is how few people actually have it! And certainly none of the cretinous Cunts that have ever graced this show…..

        Britain’s got talent…. categorically proved without a doubt that infact is the opposite was true….

        These shows are produced for the brain dead sheeple masses who haven’t got the intellectual capacity to entertain themselves or even watch something that might actually challenge them to think…….

        afternoon guvnor ( RTCP) 😎

      • Fuck me – that’s a cracking episode!

        I take it all back, they don’t make ’em like that anymore – now that’s what I call entertainment!!

        This country is finished.

      • Paula Yates was Hughie’s illegitimate daughter… Paula was very doable in her Tube pomp… Shame she ended up as Stranglewnaker Hutchence’s faghag and a smack head… How that smelly Bogtrotting tramp, Slob Geldof, pulled her at the time, I’ll never fucking know…

      • Even the fittest looking birds can be slut-bitches… regardless of age. As Wild Man Fischer used to bawl:

        “It’s not what’s outside a person that counts, it’s what’s inside – don’t you understand!”

        Geldof probably reminded her of her father.

  4. The sight of just that small picture of that bag o’ shite Cowell nearly made me hurl my laptop through the window. There are cunts, ubercunts, and Cowell.

  5. According to alphabetical law the ‘X’ ranks third to last out of twenty-six. That’s all the reason I need not to defile my dignity with this national disgrace of so-called entertainment.

    Why would I want to watch a bunch of losers watching other losers being judged by overpaid over inflated losers?

    I’d watch the the Z factor where everyone is criminally atrocious, where they all have the vocal talent of a year 3 school choir and where the judges can only tell them how fucking hopeless they are.

    • In that case you might enjoy the Jeremy Kyle Show.

      (Of which I’ve never seen an entire episode, honest…)

      • Everyones allowed one perverse habit RTCP.

        Theres too much attempted reconciliation and rehabilitation on Jeremy Kyle for my taste. Should just tell them they’re all go nowhere dregs and get the hell off my TV show!

        How he sleeps at night I don’t know.

      • My missus came home early and caught me bollock naked, rolling around the floor on sheets of bubble wrap.
        She went mental. She’s told everyone.

        Now the whole family are having a pop….

      • Sociopaths rarely have trouble sleeping imho.

        If truth be told Chunky, I’m a big Judge Judy fan.

        Not averse to the occasional ‘Come Dine With Me’ either… and ‘Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away’ has its moments too.

        Not keen on that Judge Rinder fuck though.

  6. Cowell and co are like druggies- they need their rush of emotion. At any cost. They need their fix. They’re addicted to it genuinely. So they’re not looking for talent to nuture but ‘who can make me tear up?’ We are surrounded by too much emotion. My heart strings tugged so much they’re nearly falling off. Everywhere-adverts, music, even in the political sphere. It’s a prerequisite now that all maiden speeches have to emotional. Mrs Plastic-‘you’re so anal’.

    • Totally. It’s sickening. Corporate hivemind is hoarding all emotional life, perverting it, and then trying to sell it back to us.

      Meanwhile in the real world people are becoming more hostile and selfish because they have nothing left in the tank due to being emotionally jerked off by the TV.

  7. Thank fuck i hate music and celebrities so have never put myself through the torture that this shit would definitely encompass

      • Were they done by your cellmate with ink from a biro and a sewing needle? Anything to while away the long hours ’til “Lights Out” rang through your wing, eh?

        🙂 .

  8. Gillian Anderson is not a cunt…
    Apart from being a very fine actress (Skanklett Johansscunt, my arse) and the subject of some of my most sordid fantasies during her days as Agent Scully, Anderson has spoke out against the Time’s Up and Me Too witches guild… She claims that both men and women -boys and girls – get abused and harassed and that it is not a franchise for some sort of exclusive celebrislags women only club…. Anderson also stated that feminism is women being equal with men, not putting themselves above them… And if the two sexes don’t work and cooperate together then it isn’t equality at all, it’s misandry and hateful Stalinist Femstapo agenda… She also recently got her kit off for a PETA ad and all (not that I give a toss about PETA, mind)… God bless yer, Ma’am…..

    • The lady also said that she never saw herself as a ‘political feminist’ and she still doesn’t… She also said she didn’t like self serving actresses who crack on that they are political feminists, when they are actually self serving opportunist cunts…

      Fucking hell, she’d do me… And I would certainly do her…

  9. I actually appeared on the X-Factor. My rendition of “Do ya wanna touch me?” while dressed as 12 year old Little Lord Fondleboy caused quite the stir…Louis Walsh was agog and immediately offered to put me through to the “Judges’Homes” round where he would personally work on my vocal range. Apparently I wasn’t opening my mouth wide enough or something,but to be honest, by then I think that the sheer excitement had caused him to have a mini-stroke….he was sweating heavily,drooling and had obviously slightly pissed himself judging by the wet patch on the front of his pants.
    After seeing the state of poor Louis, I decided to go with Sharon Osborne but alas my dreams of stardom were thwarted when she demanded that I touch her in her “Special Place”. I reluctantly agreed and began fingering her mouth. “What the fuck are you doing?” she demanded after I removed my clenched fist from her gaping maw. “Well, I assumed that following all the facelifts, this was yer Cunt” wasn’t the answer she wanted.
    I then moved on to “Wor Cheryl’s” when I am employed,as were several men of rather more dubious sexual orientation, as a cover for her rampant lesbianism. “Dee us oop tha shitter wi yon dilder,ya fookin butch dyke” is often heard when Sue Perkins visits.

    Simon Cowell is a Cunt.

      • Really? I always got the impression butter wouldn’t melt in her snatch.

        Listen… you’re a man of the world Dick…

        What’s it like?

      • Hardly surprising if you’ve had your cucumber up there.

        Never mind… my nurse has a nice tight one… she’s now telling me it’s time for my nap.

        Better go, you know how I hate to disappoint.

      • I’ve got relatives in the North East, and it’s well known up there that ‘Lovely Cheryl’ was a bully and a slag… She’s also from a family that would make Biffa Bacon’s lot look like the Collins family from Brookside… Reet scum, as they say up there…

      • Now youve done Dick, Sir Limpy will no doubt start telling one of his tales of having known the actor when he was in entertainment biz and gave the cunt actor solid advice

        And cursing himself or another cunter for previously stealing his deadpool nom

  11. Dick Fiddler have a look on YouTube for The KLF and Gary Glitter singing Rock N Roll Part 2. Fucking scary cunts!

  12. I know the thread is closed, but Lily the Mong could well be on Pintless Sleb Suicide Watch…

    • If “suicide watch” entailed watching her top her worthless self that should be a Pay per view event. I would pay to see the little cunt shuffle off this mortal coil. Much like Owen the manboy Jones and that awful ginger haired Scotsman Boyle cunt plus a multitude of other cunts – the only thing I want to read about them is date, place and time of death.

    • Suicide Watch.

      Now there’s an idea for a reality TV show!

      You get yer Lily Mong’s, yer Izzard mong and any other cunt feigning some mental affliction (yes it’s called being out of the public eye, cunts) and stick them on the top of Tower Bridge without a harness.

      Members of the public then have 15mins to text, tweet, Facecunt or ring the fucker to convince them to jump and rid the world of their pointless and/or treacherous existence.

      If the haven’t jumped after 15mins then Geoff Capes gets to chuck them off for charity.

      Fucking win-win as far as I can see!?!

      • That wretched slag and thoroughly disgusting creature, Roxanne Pallett would be ideal for such a show…. Others who would also be fun to watch plummeting would be Mel B (Chocolate Spice), Calum Best, Colleen ‘Lordy! It’s The Fat Slags!’ Nolan, Carol Vordercunt, Paul Burrell, Katie Price, Rylan Clark Cunt, Noel Fielding, that Nadiya Bake Off Cunt, and every single Beckham…

  13. If “The Running Man” became reality as a way of ridding Blighty of it’s biggest cunts, I might even consider bunging for the TV licence again.

    “Owen Jones, come on down!”

  14. Frankie ? Oh ffs leave him alone he is a tim fae Weegie land so very obviously Been abused by the catholic priest / nun brigade
    Fuck thum

  15. The whole piss Poor shit show that’s supposed to be a talent show has dumbed down music / entertainment to such a degree that it seems that young people expect nothing better. Who encourages these talentless chavs to go on there and humiliate themselves anyway ? Or is it some kind of collective joke that I just don’t get ?

  16. I have always thought that they shovelled shit from pikey’s down our throats from the bloody (If only) beginning. Just an extension of the torture invented (probably by the pow camps) in Japan and the kakeoke in our pubs – which I will quickly be escaping over the River Kwai before it starts to render me deaf in a couple of hours..
    What..?

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