Smoking

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Plug, plug !

Smoking, stopping smoking, part time smokers and smokers are all cunts.
Everything to do with smoking embodies the lack of responsibility and selfishness that pisses me off about humanity in general.

Smokers are cunts for not giving a flying fuck about anyone but themselves. They will happily suck their fags like some sort of dummy for adults, then breathe their shit all over everyone else that doesn’t smoke. They litter the whole fucking world with their fag butts, empty fag packets and ash. They happily smoke and then embrace their children. Fuck it, they smoke when they are pregnant. There is some footage of foetuses squirming upon the introduction of smoke into the mothers’ body. Certaintly looks fucking grim.

Smokers are chock full of bullshit excuses:
“I’ve tried, but just can’t do it” liars.
“I’m just not ready” weaklings.
“I’ve too much on my plate right now” again, liars.

Smokers are also lecherous fucking thieves, constantly bumming fags off anyone stupid enough to give in to them, which brings me onto those stopping smoking.

In the bin goes the current packet and all lighters, rizla, filters etc. Then begins the bumming of fags from every other smoker around them – accompanied with the excuse that they don’t have any because they are giving up!!?! What the fuck? There’s even the occassional offer to compensate the idiot giving the cigs away, a bullshit gesture, as no-one’s ever going to take the 50p are they? Those giving up seem to feel the need to tell everyone, as if looking for moral support (selfish) or some sort of congratulatory remark (self orientated cunts). If you reply with the word “good”, they’ll keep at it – searching earnestly for the words “well done”. It’s not well done at all cunt, only having three today is not progress. In so many ways they are worse than smokers themselves.

Then there’s the part time smoker, the weekend smoker, the one who “only smokes when they drink”.

Standing there outside the pub, pondering the mysterious conundrum they face trying to understand why this only happens when they drink. With the fag hanging from their lip, they command the attention of their little circle. It’s like they are asking their peers to grant them full smoker status for the evening. Fucking deluded needy fuckwits. I’m always amused by the cunt who’s too timid to stop the proceedings and demand their fucking lighter back from this arsehole who just won’t get on with it.

Then comes the guffaw and coughing fit and the declaration of how good it truly is. How they’ve missed it.
Convincing. I’m sure. Cunt.

Now then, understand that I’m not cunting the tobacco connoisseur. The pipe smoker or the esteemed cigar smoker (and I am not refering to the shit you buy from the bar). These are past-times that involve savoring a pleasureable thing. No, I am cunting those cunts that insist on using poor quality products and piss poor self discipline to make dicks of themselves and create a burden of patience for others.

The yellow skinned ones that stink of ashtrays.
The chainsmokers who shop at poundstretchers.
The heart attack victims smoking outside hospitals.
The fat cunts grinding out the christmas tree’d butt under their heel before entering the chippy.
The pricks that hold their cigarette inside their fist, sucking it harder than a has-been pornstar as they march towards the betting shop.
The ones who do up the zips on their wolf themed fleece with yellowed fingers.
Those cunts who smoke in the rain.

Of course, there’s also the state to consider.
Constantly pouring cash into adverts pleading with people to stop, advice lines, doctors urging, a never ending river of it’s bad, you must stop.
But no sincerity.

If the government wanted too they could ban it overnight. So shut the fuck up.
The pictures of medical ailments on the packs don’t go far enough in my opinion either.
They should show sobbing victims of ass cancer. In hologram format.
That guy on the american advert brushing his teeth one minute, swabbing the the hole in his neck the next would make a great hologram.
Fuck it, lets see how desperate these people are to carry on smoking and lace each fag with plastic, no – engine oil – as a legal requirement.

Just the other day one of these “weatherbeaten” types held the door open to the shop in one hand, fag in the other, jetted clouds firing downward from her nostrils and waived a family with young children through. Under her arm. As if doing them a favour. Af if breathing out through her sinuses helps in some way. Cunt.
Thats not a tan you wizened old witch, that’s your liver operating at it’s feeble limit.

And now, thanks to the miracle of human ingenuity we have the vaping device.
There was a small consolation that the skanky smoker was killing themselves in a wonderfully sadistic way, but nooooo, now these mentally stunted needy cunts are filling my air with the smell of banana chewits and they are likely to live as long as me! It’s a fucking disgrace. And the new government report is campaigning for their freedom to do this everywhere!
You won’t even be able to get on a train without being blinded by a tornado of apple and cinnamon. It’s as if tobacco has got the gayness.

So now our ant’n’dec loving, iceland shopping, dole poling lovable public can carry on sucking their adult dummies and feel reassured that the guvvermunt is behind them being a fucking pest 100%.

This one thing all on it’s own is going to keep my piss boiling until the day I die.
Cunts.

Nominated by Cuntflap

I would like to nominate anti-smoking bigots.
I neither smoke nor vape but couldn’t give a flying fuck if someone does.
Smokers contribute more to the NHS than they ever get out by dying younger on average. Smoking is a personal choice.

It is banned everywhere, whether reasonable (indoors) or not (parks for fuck’s sake.) The bigots have won so they should shut the fuck up.

There is a seam of spite that runs through holier than thou anti-smoking cunts. A touch of nanny knows best and insufferable superiority.

I would prefer the company of a 50 a day smoker to one of these sanctimonious cunts any day.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

86 thoughts on “Smoking”

  2. They should never have banned it in pubs. At the very least, let the bloody pubs decide but no, Tony, abso-fucking-lutely everywhere.

    Have the parks, have the restaurants, have the bus stops but you should’ve left the pubs alone. Now, if they haven’t already closed down, they are bland, sterile rooms, deficient of character, like perpetual, empty Harvester establishments with body odour. Now friends or family sit and sup their agonisingly-expensive glass of flavourless Australian urine peering into their mobile phone to a pub soundtrack of Adele and the lonely, bleeping fruit machine. Outside of football matches, they are cheerless, depressing, tacit cemeteries of the past.

  3. I like a fag and if they weren’t so expensive i would smoke like a factory chimney, but they are eye wateringly costly so I don’t, i come from a line of smokers who have all lived long lives. 20% of smokers die from smoking related illness 80% dont. Each to their own, once the anti smoking Gestapo are done with smokers who will be their next victims and rest assured the twats will find something else to focus their finger wagging on.

  4. Some people smoke it’s their choice, some are just born, moaning cunts, sounds like snowflakery to me
    Good morning

  5. Cunts telling me what to do, what to smoke, what to drink, what to eat, what to say, what to think. They can’t even let me vote without telling me I got it all wrong.
    They can all fuck off and get out of my fucking face.
    Cunts.

  6. I’d ban drinking over smoking(not that I’d actually ban either), smoking doesn’t turn people in loudmouthed aggressive fuckheads with a hair trigger temper.

  7. My other half smokes. I tell her I wish she would give up for the good of her health and pocket. I dislike cigarette smoke but I do believe in freedom of choice.

    I would not want to see a smoking ban. If people enjoy it then so be it, but they should be mindful of non smokers.

    Ideally pubs should have a smoking snug. Many have those outside ‘sheep pens’, warmed in the winter with high power infra red heaters.

  8. I smoke heavily and have no intention or desire to give up. I enjoy it.
    I’ve paid more than my share of tax over the years,indeed considerably more, I suspect,than a lot of people who have kids, yet expect the state to provide medical services,education,child benefits,etc. for them. If I do end up costing the NHS a quid or two,I bet my “benefit footprint” is considerably less than the average Married With Children family. Anyhow, smokers tend to die earlier,so saving the state a fortune in caring for some “smoke-free” coffin-dodger.

    This nannying by the State is intolerable.First it’ll be smoking,then drinking,then diet then it’ll be everyone ordered to “just take these little pills,we know what’s best for you”……Fuck that. I’m a grown man,if I want to smoke, I will. If anything,these fucking campaigns just make me dig my heels in and think “Fuck Off.”
    I also buy my cigarette papers and filters at the Pound Shop. Why not? You get 7 packets of papers for a pound instead of the 2 or 3 at the papershop. In fact, I rather enjoy shopping at those cheap shops,amazing what you can get.

    Sorry, Cuntflap,but this is one determined smoker who’ll continue to happily smoke,and revel in the disapproving looks and tut-tuts of the sanctimonious non-smoking brigade. I’ll give up smoking when they pry the last one from my cold,dead fingers.

    Fuck them.

  9. I can think of nothing I enjoy more (except women, alcholol, food, drugs, kinky sex) than a fag!
    unfortunatley I find them to be week, shitty and expensive so like many others I tried the vape thing, various “liquids” were tried, never found the car tyre flavour I desired and gave up and now smoke a pipe!
    Yes I am one of the last of a breed the grumpy cunt with a pipe! (not a crack one)
    I enjoy it, I have lots of little toys to clean it, polish it, light it, its fab!

    • I went through a phase of pipe smoking in the early ’70s, Dutch aromatic tobacco mainly, Clan or Holland House if memory serves. Gave the lungs a proper good workout!

      Can you still get plain cigarettes without filters? Players Navy Cut were favourites, stole them off my mum to start with, got well sick down the garden first time. Senior Service too… but not as satisfying for some reason.

      Amongst filtered fags, Sovereign and No.10 were regular tabs of choice (couldn’t afford King Size) until the Government banned them in favour of King Size only. Could never really get into rollies. Ended up on B&H, posh cunt I am.

      if someone gave me a Silk Cut I’d break off the filter, cunts.

  10. Top Cunting Cuntstable. I ceased smoking 35 years ago – best thing I ever did – saved at least £70,000 to spend on more interesting drugs and other good stuff.

    No problem with cunts who want to flood their body temples with carcinogenic chemicals, everyone knows the risk, it’s their choice, they pays their tax and takes their chances.

    That first tab in the morning was always ace!

    • Yes, I smoked years ago and the first with a coffee was the best. However it doesn’t stop at that as it is a true addiction so best kicked.
      I had a mate in the 70s who smoked Capstan full strength. One of those enough for a week’s nicotine.

  11. Smoking like drinking and most other things is a personal Choice, I quit not because I didn’t like it but as I got into my 40,s I noticed the coughing/wheezing and my wife noticed the snoring! Both went after 3-6 months
    Haven’t had a cigarette in years But fuck I still miss them when I’m getting stuck in down the pub! ( got a fake vape cigarette with no nicotine, and yes I do look like a cunt) … one of my mates can have a couple when he’s out for a beer and that’s it! Lucky Cunt, if I tried to pull that stunt I would be back to 20 a day before the Indian at my corner shop could say “ eight pound viffty please”.
    The anti smoking Gestapo are indeed Cunts! But my venom is definitely reserved for the “ reformed” smokers Who somehow see themselves are superior and are often the most vocal in anti smoking rhetoric , the original poacher turned gamekeeper! … fuck those Cunts……

    • Morning Q!

      Had a mate who gave up around same time as me, couldn’t go anywhere without the cunt getting apoplectic whenever we encountered someone enjoying a quiet smoke, they were everywhere of course in the early 1980s.

      Naturally blamed other smokers when he inevitably fell off the wagon…

      • Seen that before RTCP
        Same with drinkers, couple of my friends were big time party animals back in the day, one male one female, they used to get absolutely hammered , fall about and generally go nuts in a good humoured way, both eventually stopped drinking and instantly started fucking passing judgment on people doing exactly what they had done for years!! They both got told their fortune…..
        If you wanna get pissed/ smoke/ or do other recreational things it’s up to Individual….. ( as long as your not harming others)
        Fucking busy bodies 😡

      • Too fucking right – cunts who blame everyone else for their poor life choices are a pain of the highest order.

  12. Id rather sit next to a smoker in a pub than somebodys screaming whining brat,pubs should be an adults oasis that doesnt include kids but thats me.I like the occasional small aromatic cigar with a coffee now and then,no lung inhaling just the lovely chocolate tobacco aroma along with a pleasant coffee……

  13. Let’s face it, the diesel fumes you breathe in whilst walking along the street are likely more harmful to you than standing next to someone toking hard on a B&H Gold.

    • Spot on.

      I remember round the Clock Tower in Leicester back in 80s / 90s. All the buses gunning their engines, belching out fumes…

      Enough to give a kraut V-A-G designer a real hard-on !

      • They’re only now addressing that particular problem, building a new cut-through where the ABC was on Haymarket to link with St Margaret’s Bus Station. The traffic there should be fucking fun.

  15. Off topic…

    Cunts complaining that ABBC drama ‘Bodyguard’ is Islamaphobic. Is it? Maybe I should tune in…

    • It’s typical bbc liberal shite RTCP
      The poor ( white) ex soldier who is the bodyguard gets skewered regularly by his superiors who are virtually all women!!!
      First episode he’s trying to stop a peaceful women from detonating a bomb on a train only to get lambasted by black female firearms officer! She’s definitely in charge!
      They call in bomb disposal who just happens to be a woman….
      Then his immediate boss ( woman) also Cunts him off
      He’s then assigned to BG to Home Secretary ( err another woman)
      He’s wife’s fuck him off ( nice)
      Then he’s bullied by an assortment of women to spy on home security….
      HS dies in bomb attack then BG gets grilled by a black female detective and her Asian boss!!
      They then tell all his female bosses that he’s a bit of a cunt!!
      As far as I can tell his only failing is he’s Scottish and white……
      Get the picture?? 😂

      • I take it you’ve watched it then Q… think I’ll give it a miss 👍

        Thank you (and the good Cuntstable) for your kind assistance in this matter.

      • Strangely my wife watches it whilst I read or post shite on here…. I’ve seen enough to know it’s utter crap!!
        She has barred me from making comments whilst it’s on!! 😂😂
        Which of course I ignore……….

      • I generously bought my wife a huge Panasonic HD TV and HDD recorder so she can watch her shite in the bedroom and leave me downstairs in relative peace.

        We probably watch an hour a day together max… usually when we’re having dinner.

    • It is Islamophobic because the would-be suicide bomber wasn’t a white Brexit supporter (or ‘Far Right’ as they are regarded) which is the fantasy world these cunts inhabit.
      However, the baddies seem to be ex squaddies who served in Afghanistan, the cunts.

    • No chance!

      It’s the AL-BEEB for fuck’s sake, the most “peaceful” appeasing cunts after the UK Govt!

      What did they do, show a bacon sandwich or summat!?!

      And even if it is construed as “Islamaphobic” – whatever the fuck that means – then it’s about time AL-BEEB showed a programme that’s actually inline with public opinion, especially where Parking Stanleys are concerned!

      As Monsieur Fiddler would say, fuck ’em!

  16. I’d quit smoking if I didn’t think I’d become one of you. I’m willing to die seven years before my time just so I’ll be cool each last fuckin’ day. – Bill Hicks

  17. Personally don’t like smoking, never have and have never had a cigarette.

    Don’t like discarded cigarette butts or inhaling other people’s smoke.

    Rather than a blanket public house ban should have left it up to the pubs to arrange a separate designated smoking area. More pubs would have survived and less converted mosques.

    Have not got a problem with others smoking as long as they keep everything about their habit away from me and don’t make a mess.

  18. Fear not, Cuntflap, I successfully weaponised smoking when the ban in pubs was introduced. The sight and sound of me belching out more acrid smoke than a coal-fired locomotive while braying like a Tourette- suffering Dr. Goebbels is guaranteed to clear most public spaces.
    You’re right about the pound-shop customers. Bunch of benefit-sponging,unwashed,”traccy” wearing bloaters or doddery old resource-stealing geriatrics. These kind of people,plus children,should be banned from shops on Saturday mornings,which is when I tend to do my shopping. They’ve got all of the rest of the week to spend their giros without impeding my progress when I go to buy my provisions.

    Cunts.

  19. My dementia is attributed to atmospheric pollution of cars and lorries.My lungs are fine in spite of Regal King Size over the last 60 years.

  20. Sorry Cuntstable but i love smoking a nice hand rolled fag and love knowing it pisses off other cunts .

    all the shit they have used to try and stop me smoking has made my resolve even stronger. All the little pictures on packs and huge fucking warnings like im some kinda spastic make me laugh’ even seen they are putting warnings inside the bacci packs now too yeah that ll finally make me stop.

    I don’t ponce any fags or lighters so alright there . Its weird how alcohol is much more damaging and costly monetary and socially but you don’t see huge warnings on shit coloured labels with pictures of dead beats beating there kids do you?.

    Im No fan of booze hate the smell of pissheads and the noises they make the piles vomited up all over the streets , take away food dumped in the streets broken glass. Thats not taking in to account the cost to all the emergency services every fucking weekend to babysit these wankers.

  21. I’ve never been a smoker but come from a family of them so grew up around it. Before the smoking ban in pubs all of my mates were smokers so all the ban did was segregate a group of friends into two camps – those inside the warm pub and those outside in the freezing cold pissing rain having a fag.

    It was nanny state bullshit back then and it’s pure fucking snowflakery now.

    I used to come back from a night out on the lash, hang my clothes up and spray them down with febreeze ready for the next night on the lash.

    Haven’t bought a bottle of the stuff in years, I bet the company who make febreeze must have witnessed their revenue stream bottom out in real time and cried like little girls.

  22. Quality cunting there Cuntflap.
    The smelly disgusting smoking/vaping cunts can fuck off.
    Polluting the air with their shit.
    Just fuck off and die before the nhs spends a fortune on you

  23. I don’t mind the smell of actual cigarette or cigar smoke. I do find the after-smell on people horrible though and can smell a smoker from 10 yards.
    I also feel disgusted when I see ragarses with multiple brats pleading poverty while drawing on a tab.
    Vaping by the way, smells only of whatever fruity fucking shite flavours it. It is water vapour for fucks sake.
    However, finger wagging is for sanctimonious cunts. The cunts.

  24. I liked a smoky pub. It added to the atmosphere. The people talking and the smoke rising…like a seance…the smoke rising mysteriously…levitating. Ban it.

  25. Smokers… An interesting topic.
    I have never really been a cigarette smoker (more Weed and Hash) but obviously use cigarette tobacco in my spliffs. I can thankfully give up smoking (everything) quite easily and I am looking to do that again soon.
    However I’ll never give up social smoking…cmon there’s nothing better than a nice Embassy no.1 when half pissed and besides all the best women smoke.
    Saying that, as a sort of smoker I cant stand seeing people smoking away at half seven in the morning especially on a cold day dont they think about how it makes everyone else feel breathing in that shit at that time of the day.
    Is it me or does every Eastern European and Somalian smoke at least 40 a day? Im sure they have all contributed more than they are going to eventually to take out though.
    I was in some Polska shop the other day and the cunt was selling some what I guess were fake cigarettes…What the fuck have they got in them?

    • It’s an open secret that the Polaks have been smuggling millions of packets of fags into the country and selling them cheap. Unfortunately, this also means that they aren’t paying revenue on them so the NHS gets nowt. Cunts!

    • When I was in SE Asia and India all the bus and tuk tuk drivers were chewing on betal a truly disgusting habit which stains the teeth and gums and requires almost constant spitting. Culcha innit.

    • It’s because your Somali-filth don’t work and the vast majority of euromuck don’t work either… They spend their time loitering around town centres, trying to rip off charity shops (‘Me no speaky English! I give you one pound! It all I have!’) or infesting Poundland like a dose of Colarado Beetle… So they spend most of their gifts from the state on their favourite cigs… Parasitic cunts….

      • I remember reading a while ago that something like 85% (can’t remember the exact figure, but it was high) of all Somalis in Britistan have no known source of working income.

      • If that’s true you would think they would fuck off home and find gainful employment as a pirate??
        Apparently it’s a booming industry……..

    • Fucking dirty stinking gyppo cunt in our house gets his parents to post them to him from Romania. A) what a pair of stupid mugs and b) what a tax-dodging vermincunt he is.

  26. The smoking ban and cheap supermarket booze has killed the British pub… All thanks to that evil and corrosive cunt, Satan Blair….

    • As has the obsession with shite ale, I love a beer but you go into pretty much any pub or “bar” now and the pumps are all the same.

      Carlsberg, Carling, Guinness, John Smiths, Stella, San Miguel, Strongbow, all the usual shite you see with flashy advertising campaigns.

      Look in the fridges it’s Budweiser, Carlsberg, Peroni, “Newcy” Brown, WKD, Becks.

      I prefer drinks like Innis and Gun or Hobgoblin, but I’ve never seen those in a pub.

  27. Morning guys
    A ‘healthy’ debate this morning!
    Reminds me of a work colleague who sat opposite me years ago, long before workplace smoking was banned. She had a huge poster on the wall by her desk, which featured a fag in a red circle with a line through it. Underneath was written;
    TO ALL SMOKERS!!
    Keep your f***ing stinking sh*t to yourself.
    I like a drink. How would you like it if I stood
    on a chair and pissed on your head?

    Nothing if not subtle, I thought.

      • Fit doesn’t even begin to do justice to this cracking piece of mature crumpet old son; what I believe is known as a ‘milf’ these days. I sat opposite her with my tongue hanging out most of the time. She knew it as well, the minx

  28. Referring to the previous topic.
    A cartoon depicting Williams having a tantrum is deemed ‘racist’. Have a look. (BBC News) It is a caricature having a stop. Was she supposed to be shown in a good light? Is it racist to criticise anybody non-white now?
    What a fucking world we inhabit.

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