Grief Thieves

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Grief Thief (ɡriːf θiːf)
n. An individual, usually with a level of fame or celebrity inversely proportional to their talent, who proceeds to make a spectacular cunt of themselves in paying disingenuous public tribute to the death of a genuinely famous or public figure, all in an attempt to bolster the thief’s own social media standing.

One of the scourges of our times, I give you the celebrity grief thief or griefjacker. As with so many things wrong in the modern age, this is a particularly stubborn metastasis of the primary, incurable cancer known as social media.

I often wonder – do vapid followers of these grief-thieves really see genuine sadness from their faux-sad celebrity idols, when said celebricunts declare their profound shit-tributes to dead singers and actors they never even knew? Do the lobotomy outpatient tier fans of Katy ‘radioactive quim’ Perry not cringe when such a colossally moronic shitcunt like that pays tribute to Stephen Hawking, of all fucking people?

The recent, sad passing of Aretha Franklin has provided a wonderful opportunity for every black, every feminist, and every urban stammering cunt to show ‘deference’ to their ‘roots’ and all climb aboard the Challenger OV-99 Shuttle to the stratosphere of cuntitude. Most blacks – who usually are too wrapped up in a world of box-fresh Nikes, stabbings and wearing oversized trousers while ‘singing’ songs like “Blep Blep Blep” – know the grand sum of fuck-all when it comes to history; other than a popularly misunderstood conception of ‘muh slavery’. Yet now the Queen of Soul has left this mortal coil, all and sundry are weeping for a fallen sista. I suspect most of them couldn’t even name a single one of her songs, the fucking bandwagon-jumping cunts.

The act of making public declarations of grief is in itself rather cuntly, unless the individual paying tribute genuinely knew the person at hand. It would be akin to me turning up at some random funeral, opportunely taking to the pulpit and delivering a tearful soliloquoy on what a wonderful and hard-working father of three the unemployed Mrs. Jenkins actually was.

I despise this fucking insidious phenomenon so much. People falling over themselves to use the death of someone almost always infintely more talented than they are, all for a bit of fucking social media traction. At least here on ISAC, we have the good grace to merely nominate rich and famous individuals as the next to die, and wait in quiet anticipation for someone on our list to pop their clogs. Proper decency.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

50 thoughts on “Grief Thieves”

  1. A timely cunting in light of the latest grief-jacking opportunity: the death of Mac Miller.

    “Mac who?” you may ask, and yesterday – outside of his own family – a similar response would have been had from all, including the glitterati.

    Today – purely because the cunt is dead from his illegal drug habit – he is lauded as more significant to the music world than Elvis, Mozart, Michael Jackson and the Beatles rolled into one.

    This from slebs keen to feed at the grief-jacking carcass like the sharks they are, all perpetuated by the meaningless medium of (anti) social meejah!

    Cunts to a one!

  2. I couldn’t give a flying-fuck who dies. They haven’t done anything for me,so why should I care? I’m only interested in celebrity deaths when they’ve met their end in an amusing way. Michael Hutchence was a particular favourite,although I must admit that Rod Hull falling off the roof while tuning in to watch Man U. still brings a smile.

    Fuck them.

  3. I haven’t got over the loss of the People’s Princess. I cry everyday in memory and leave flowers in random underpasses. It is fitting that we have the opportunity of a ‘Peoples Vote’ as a way of celebrating her intelligence, hard work and modesty.

      • Don’t forget some petrol station flowers, they must be on permanent special for the next ‘national treasure’ ala Jade Goody. Cunts.

      • Jade goody was one of the Uk.s thickest people ever ……
        She thought east anglia or east angular as she called it was in Spain?
        Mind you just to prove the Apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree her mum Jackie was told on CBB that she had a dilemma? “ what’s a dimela” asked the fuckwit……..

      • A dimela is most cerainly an SI measure of dimness, cf. the candela.

        Mandelbumfiddler is rated at 94 candela; it would be higher, but the gerbil damage prevents further insertions.

        The Flabbott rates at about 10kD, which causes dimness to radiate out all over Hackney, and in fact much further afield.

  4. I remember my llate father like many people simply could not understand the outpouring of public grief immediately after the death the people’s “royal slapper” princess.

    Tens of thousands of pounds of flowers, people crying and wailing on the streets for someone they never met, did not know in the slightest or were never likely to be let anywhere near as she mixed in an elite social circle.

    Went on for week after week after week. Reminiscent of Grenfell. No fucking end to it.

    Fucking pathetic.

    • Wasn’t that one of the strangest times? Empty streets, everything ground to a halt, melancholic music played on radio stations, theatre shows and events cancelled, football matches postponed, adults blubbing in public and an eerie conspiracy of silence because you couldn’t, daren’t, MUSTN’T, say anything negative about Diana, Princess of something.

      An creepily, sinister few weeks.

      • I was about 19 at the time when that Diana Cunt died. My fucking mother came into my room about 7am after I’d got home from being on the lash until about 4am to break the ‘bad news

        I can’t remember quite how loud I shouted ‘i dont give a fuck’ at her but I feel bad until this day .

      • Apparently some Israeli station got into bother the other day for accidentally playing Wagner. Always been find of Siegfrieds funeral, bom bom, bom bom!

      • Yeah I was 15 at the time. I remember it well because it was a sunday and I was looking forward to the new episode of Star Trek voyager which had been postponed for something like 2 weeks due to different sporting events over-running. Then that stupid cunt dies and Voyager………… and every other program on every fucking channel gets shit-canned in favour of 24/7 news coverage of a mangled mercedes in a Paris tunnel.

        Cunts.

  5. As if Blair wasn’t a big enough cunt we have him to thank for coining the epitaph “the peoples princess”. My mum has always said she was a freeloading clotheshorse, forerunner for the grief-jacking social meeja inspired pile of cunt that warrants an outpouring of attention seeking diarrhoea.

    • The UK.s definitely become a global leader in mawkish sentiment…
      excellent headline cunting TECB

  6. Genuinely awesome cunting, a tour de force Empire.

    Couldn’t possibly add anything to that.

  7. ‘Until You Come Back To Me’ is my favourite of Aretha’s… And I agree, the griefmonkeying and grandstanding by all these ‘yeahh innit bro!’ John Rambos who ‘channel’ their ‘ancestors’ ‘slavery’ who are milking Franklin’s demise are sickening cunts… Same goes for scum like Madogga who cashed in on Aretha’s passing in her usual ‘Me! Me! Me!’ cuntish style….

    Same goes for this BBC news person who has just gone…. Rachel Thingy…. The Tabloids going on like it was The Blessed Virgin Mark II or (worse still) a repeat of Saint Jo Of The Blessed Cox… Of course it’s very sad for her family and friends, but it’s absurd how utter knobheads act like a recently deceased celebrity is like one of their own relatives or loved ones dying… Unfortunately griefmonkeying is now a national phenomenon ever since Satan Blair and his canonisation of Lady Di…..

    • I remember my mum being a bit narked, as she was a massive and original Beatles fan…. But she didn’t act like she did when our Andy was knocked down and killed by a car, or when my baby sister died of a cot death that same year… I recall my dad watching the TV news in 1980, and him referring to the hordes of knobs in Noo Yoik singing ‘Give Peace A Chance’ as ‘wankers’…And, of course, it has been milked and stage managed by Yoko Fucking Ono ever since…

      • I too was a massive and original Beatles fan, but by 1980 considered Lennon to be nothing more than a self obsessed has-been woman dominated joke, and could not have cared less when he was killed. Mark Chapman undoubtedly did his legacy a huge favour… and no more MOR shit like Double Fantasy, thank God.

      • Come, come RTC. Double Fantasy was more than mere MOR. It had Yoko fucking Ono screaming tunelessly to great effect. The LP would have died the death if Lennon hadn’t done the same.

      • ‘Starting Over’ bothered the lower reaches of the Top 20, but after December 8th every cunt bought it… Much fuss was made about Albert Goldman’s book, which portrayed Lennon (and especially Yoko Fucking Ono) as complete and utter cunts… Yet Yoko Fucking Ono didn’t sue Goldman… Wonder why?….

        Naturally, didn’t see him for years cunts like the incredibly irritating Alan Williams defended Lennon as a ‘Lovable Scallywag’ who ‘Put Liverpool on the map’… How fucking nauseating… The clip below is priceless (it starts at 22:45)… Williams in particular is a massive cunt… Professional Scousers who didn’t see Lennon for decades deifying him for fuck’s sake…Tony Wilson and Steven Wells were great though…

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dI8pFvAiak

  9. Franklin funeral. Truly lamentable. I grieve for her. What a terrible send off-with a totally ott political ‘sermon’, (her politics were somewhat muted), Al Sharpton grandstanding as usual, and then to top it all the bishop with Ariana Grande (sneaking a crafty feel). Oh God.

    • That Vicar clearly thought this is the ONLY fucking chance I am ever going to be able to cop a feel of Ariana Grande , took his chance like a pro. Well done Sir

      • If the dirty old goat had been white they would have crucified him. As it is he’s a victim so he gets a free pass.

      • Funny how the Me Too mob of witches haven’t piped up about La Grande being groped, eh?…. Not unlike their silence over Bill Cosby, Rotherham, Newcastle, Rochdale, Cologne, Sweden etc and so on…

      • Anne Sofie Von Otter, the Swedish soprano, her husband was a theatre director who got the whole metoo scheming pack of vicious lies, resigned then topped himself. An investigation, after a relentless pile of shite from Aftonbladet, proved he was innocent. Not exactly front page news in the Graun was it? As for that cunt Asia Argento, no wonder Bourdain offed himself with a slag like her about. Kiddie fiddler technically.

      • I seem to remember that Bill Clitworm was sitting on the platform, so was probably a credible witness to say that no-one was ever groped.

        No-one, of couse, is ever groped when Bill’s around…

  10. I think you can trace it back to long before Lennon……..Presley? JFK? Buddy Holly? There were scenes of mass grief jacking at the funeral of Rudolf Valentino. The mass media creates sleb cunts and people feel they know them and are part of their miserable stupid cuntish lives. I think the OP is referring to other slebs jumping on the griefjacker bandwagon in order to enhance their own “brand image”. I’m sure this Ariana bitch had never heard of Aretha and, if she had, thought she was just some fucking old has been. Didn’t stop her shoving her face into the limelight the virtue signalling whore.
    Still, at least these sleb cunts have a commercial reason for their behaviour. Ordinary people, as in the Diana case, must have something wrong upstairs. As others have said, you had to be there to believe what happened during those weeks. That was genuine mass hysteria, totally unbelievable at the time. Women, in particular just went off their trolleys during that time. It was frightening to see how the media can bring dumb cunts to the point where they just lose all reason and control. Griefjackers……fucking saddos and wankers who need to get a fucking grip.

  11. Nothing suprised me with what the vacuous talentless fecking celebrity cunts do to keep their heads above the putrid fetid swamp of so called fame they spend their time wallowing in. I hope civilisation has a huge hiccup while im still alive so I can watch the mincing preening fuckers fall by the wayside as they find wearing makeup and squealing like a tart counts for fuck all when things get real. Cunts to a man, twats of the first water

  12. I’ve enjoyed the music of many musicians who have since died. Last night I was listening to the Doors. But the death that was a real cunt and really pissed me off to sadness was the death of Tom Petty such that it’s going to be a long time before I can listen to his music again. Many of the other dead artists were just cunts who wrote great music.

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