80s vinyl reissues

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It appears that numerous record companies are remastering and re-releasing crap from the 80s on heavyweight (and coloured) LPs.

OK, the odd gem still resurfaces Manfred Mann’s first four 60s albums have just been reissued on record after many years), but record companies spending money on re-releasing the musical dregs of the 80s: like Five Star, Curiosity Killed The Cunt, The Thompson Twats, and Belinda Carlisle (OK, she was top of the 80s ‘To do’ list, but her music was pap), while great works from the likes of Humble Pie, Free, Jethro Tull, Faces, Blood Sweat and Tears, and Badfinger still remain unavailable on LP ?

It’s ludicrous, but I know who’s to blame… It’s all those coloured haired ripped jeans student cunts, who think that buying LPs is trendy and that all that 80s crap is ‘retro’ and ‘cool old school’…. Fucking cunts…

Nominated by Norman

My son-in-law collects vinyl. He is 35. He has lent me a Half Man Half Biscuit vinyl LP. I have put it on a USB stick because I am not a vinyl cunt. I have done this with all my vinyl so I can play them anywhere. Vinyl collectors seem to be hipster cunts.

80s music – Madness, Squeeze, Dire Straits, the Cars, Men at Work. The rest was forgettable for me.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

36 thoughts on “80s vinyl reissues”

  1. I’m no vinyl expert or connoisseur but I much prefer Dark Side by Floyd on vinyl, got the original too. I’ve got the remasters and so on in digital format which sound great, but the vinyl does have a warmth to it.

    Maybe it’s a quality issue and has less clarity than digital, don’t know. Just feels better. Sort of like incandescent bulbs vs cfl ones. Or maybe I’m talking out my arse!

    • Not talking out of your arse at all Chunky – agree 100% – at least when it comes to original vinyl 1st pressings, I could not have put it better myself.

      Hendrix 1st pressings on Track have to be heard to be believed! Won’t bore you any further Cunters.

      Can’t vouch for the authenticity of modern reissues though…

  2. Until anything by Blodwyn Pig, Wayne County or Climax Blues Band’s “A lot of Bottle” gets the reissue treatment then these cunts can…..fuck off

  3. I just don’t buy into this Vinyl sounds better than CD. When cd’s first came out everyone was getting rid of their vinyl because cd sounded better. Louder with more clarity especially some of the Japanese SHM re-mastered cd’s. To me most old Vinyl sounds muffled with so many crackles that it sounds like it was recorded in a fish and chip shop. An awful lot of the new vinyl is recorded off Cd’s.
    There are some exceptions but not many. Cuntstable is right it is a hipster thing, Emperors clothes and all that. People will disagree with me, after all i am a half deaf old cunt from working in the music industry for the 30 years .
    Now check this rare amazing song when Frank Sinatra and Louis Armstrong were going through their Death Metal Period. Not sure if you can get it on Vinyl.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rlmRjqBt_mE

  4. They’re about £15 or £16 quid a pop as well!
    It’s just another marketing, money driven rip-off. You bought the album on vinyl, then on tape, then on cd, now fucking hell, get it on vinyl again…
    As Tommy Lee Jones put it in ‘Men In Black’, ‘damn, now I’ll have to buy The White Album again…’

  5. I have my Vinyl from the 1960,s. Its all there ,original paper sleeves for singles and great intact sleeves for the Albums. The collection is personal, and represents my teen years throughout the 60,s, it is therefore a nostalgia visit and nothing else.

    This “collectors” shit has unearthed some awful crap that should be consigned to the fucking dustbin, and should never be released on platinum let alone vinyl.

    Final comment. CD and digital sound far better than the vinyl. End of.

  6. A solid topic for cunting, this. It drives me fucking mental seeing all these skinny-trousered wearing artifical cunts, punks and hipsters clamouring for a vinyl re-issue of some instantly forgettable 80s artist like Scritti Politti or Robbie Nevil.

    It seems like the UK has been having a permanent 80s revival since the fucking early 2000s. I remember clubbing (fucking hell) in 2003 and seeing choice tarts ‘n’ trollops with 80s fluoresecent ra-ra gear, as well as endless rehashing of 80s songs by dance music groups and even fucking TV adverts. This mentality has been adopted of course in more recent years by hipsters and the whole ‘retro’ and nostalgia market.

    So the natural cunt-like progression was to re-issue fucking vinyls of all the detritis from the era which is so fondly mis-remembered – as far as I can recall, the 80s were not some dancing and expressive paradise; they were bleak, grey, full of concrete and fag smoke and dole queues. About as genuine as the carefully stylised pre-ripped jeans these sheeple shitcunts buy from Topman, the vinyl market, as stated by a fellow cunter above, is just a marketing scam to rip off those too blinded by their obsession for ‘retro cool’ to realise how fucking stupid they are.

    And not wishing to start an in-house riot, but I too am not convinced that vinyls are better than CD. The vinyl surface noise ruins classical pieces for me, and electronic/guitar music almost always seems to sound more defined than vinyl. I guess it depends on your sound system/set-up but I have listened to vinyls on quite high-end gear and no question – CD every time for me.

  7. Didn’t Belinda Carlisle make ice cubes from her own piss?

    I seem to remember reading it somewhere. I remember Belinda showing her lovely muff in an 80’s porno mag. I earned my moniker poring over her pics, I can tell you!

    • From what I’ve read, Belinda and all the others from The Go-Go’s where fucking wild. She was definitely one of the most fap-worthy women in the 80s – although I confess, I popped my wank cherry to Kim Wilde after seeing her debut the highly appropriately titled song ‘You Came’ on TotP.

    • PM
      Can you remember what mag it was? As a dedicated muff fancier, I want to see if I can track those pics down on tinternet!

  10. Any cunt born post the invention of the Compact Disc who extols the virtue of vinyl sounding “…so much better…” (the emphasis naturally being on the”SOOOOOOO” word) needs to be punched repeatedly in the face.

    You never heard any cunt saying wax roll sounded so much better than a gramophone.

    You never heard any cunt saying mono sounded so much better than stereo.

    That’s because it doesn’t.

    The human ear cannot detect the difference between analogue and digital at 16MHz. At 48MHz (the norm for digital recording) it’s impossible.

    All these cunts are really listening for is a bit of crackle and hiss.

    As my learned music production and fellow cunter B&W Cunt will attest, adding a bit of hiss, crackle and pop is a simple case of adding an effects patch to the digital sample in question.

    I proved this point by playing a digital version of “Proud Mary” (Credence Clearwater Revival) and a doctored version of the same WAV file adding the “…fool pretentious cunts into thinking they’re listening to vinyl when they’re not…” effect.

    In a blind listening (I had my record player playing a completely different record – Elvis in fact) Senor Pretentious Cunt obviously picked the latter.

    Then when I pointed out the cuntitude of the cunt, he said “he knew” that I was trying to fool him and he just was going along with it.

    The cunt cheats at golf as well so what do you expect from cunts like that!?!

    I’d also like to cunt the bastardisation of Bohemian Rhapsody in the latest cuntfest “All Inclusive” ad for John Lewis and Waitrose. Two shops not often associated with “cultural enrichment” and “inclusivity” if we’re being totally honest.

    Virtue Signalling twats!

  11. What I like about Vinyl is the nostalgia and sense of possession. Not much else, Certainly not the sound of it. If you have a decent system mp3 sounds pretty good to me. Lots of bass / treble and a very nice punch to the sound.

    • Snowflakes wouldn’t recognise good music if it punched them hard in the gender neutral gonads.

      My hearing’s fucked anyway so fuck them.

    • Wow that’s mint!

      I have the exact same collection on a thumb drive about half an inch across with enough room for another 3 or 4 similar collections to go on it.

      Please forgive me, I am a Flintstone.

  13. Just heard Paul McCartney has released an unbreakable vinyl record Egyptian Station How much money does this greedy cunt want curl up and die you 60s has been

    • He’s a fool to himself, old Macca… He puts out a new album, but in a matter of weeks there will be a big Beatles reissue (White Album) and no one will give a fuck about his latest solo record… The fact that his old band – with two members dead and with a fifty year old album – can still outsell and outshine McCartney says it all really…

  16. Black vinyl can FO&D, unless it’s a hot bird in a black vinyl trench coat !

    A recording engineer I know says things have got so dire in the hipster-twattishness stakes, that cassettes are back on the agenda.
    Ambitious dictaphone fuel.

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