Vodafone (2)

Vodafone deserves a cunting. I’ve realised that whenever I try to access this esteemed site using my mobile data, I get a message saying that I can’t due to ‘Vodafone Content Controls’ restricting ‘adult content’ which I have to go through the laborious process of logging into my account followed by numerous extra step to turn off. Really Vodafone, really? I get that there’s some bad shit on the internet that kids need to be protected from, but you’re really doing this on my phone, which I pay to top up each month, with a site that all things considered is rather tame, without making the feature particularly easy to turn it off? Fuck you Vodafone and stop babying grown adults you cunts.

And a follow up :

Vodafone. Again. This time, the cunts have only gone and fucked up my phone. I finally did the fucking software update (twice because they asked me to do it again straight after the initial one) that they’ve been nagging me to do for weeks but now the thing has actually been done I have no lock screen – whenever I turn the phone on its bypassed entirely and the phone goes straight to the home screen – and both the home and close app (you know, the square one) buttons which are built into the actual phone itself no longer work. Oh, and to top it all off the phone is running slower as a result of all this as well. Of course, I tried contacting them with my problem but obviously got no further than a prerecorded voice which did fuck all. I genuinely didn’t intend on cunting Cuntafone two days running, but it just so turns out that they’re that monumental in their cuntitide. So fuck off Vodafone you fucking useless phone destroying cunts.

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt

24 thoughts on “Vodafone (2)

  1. Got a feeling these cunts are yet another example of billions of £££ turnover and paying fuck-all corporation tax.

    • Vodafone paid no corporation tax in 2011, 2012 or 2013.

      In 2014 Vodafone made global profits of £19.87b but again paid no corporation tax in the UK for that year.

      Again, no corporation tax in 2015

      Think I am right in saying they also did not pay any corporation tax in 2016. They did pay their statutory taxes including business rates and other payments, but not corporation tax, after it made a pre-tax loss of £486m in the year to March 2017.

      Somewhere along the line (like many of the multinationals) it did strike a deal with the pathetic cunts at the HMRC for a fucking pittance and mere fraction of what they should have paid. Vodafone, Google, Apple, Amazon etc. laughing all the way to the bank at the UK’s sheer utter incompetence and cuntishness.

      The government need to tax these cunts on sales in the UK. As usual the major accounting forms run rings round our government, who are as per usual clueless and soft as fucking shite.

      • Yes Willie,
        The same cunts who live under an umbrella and the protection of SFO because their income is so cleverly hidden by the best brains the Ivy League Universities could produce. I once spoke with an “accountant and senior tax expert” at HMRC in Liverpool. His single reason for being there was to understand the workings, practices and procedures of the HMRC and to then jump ship and join a huge “accountancy” firm on a mega package living wherever he decided he would like to. As long as it had superfast broadband and a VPN and was commutable within 12 hours to the US the world was his.
        HMRC go to great lengths to recruit the very best but equally let the cunts go when they have mastered the mechanics of the system and are ready to exploit the total ineptitude that is written through these departments like a stick of Blackpool rock. Its how Google, Amazon, E-bay, Paypal, Microsoft, Apple et al make such huge fucking profits. Nobody at HMRC gives a fuck. Collective and endemic historical ineptitude and a clock watching, couldn’t give a fuck attitude, that pervades all government departments. Does anyone really believe that any government department has a clue about common sense? We are blessed with some of the most gormless cunts ever to pick up a biro.

      • There’s a rule here about not cunting the cunters. Doing so gets you banned from the site. Disagree if you wish but be civil.

      • Opinionated cunt, I take your point about cunting cunters, but I rather think cunto’s reference to “endemic historical ineptitude and a clock watching, couldn’t give a fuck attitude” is rather a cunting of cunts likes me.

  2. The only reason I still use them is because tbf the Big Value Bundle does offer good value. But in every other aspect they can fuck off.

  3. Sorry, I cant go along with this. Although I swore to never have a mobile once I retired the wife and daughter insist I carry a mobile on my long daily walks in case I cark it out in the wilds. Not sure what use phone would be but anything for a quiet life eh?
    Anyway, as a Billy-no-mates the only texts I get are from NHS direct and Vodaphone. So without Voda my interaction with the world of telephone cuntitude would be halved. And the people I either ignore or tell to fuck off reduced as well.
    God bless Vodaphone, the cunts.

    • All depends on personal experience I suppose. My experiences have just happened to be negative.

  4. EE are right money pinching bastards. Was with Orange for 15 years and had a stack of loyalty to redeem but never used it. Then EE ate Orange, and the best they could offer me was £1 off a month. The fuck? Orange were going to offer me a contract with gizmos and bonuses for £1! Cunts.

  5. All phone companies are robbing, thieving, taxdodging fucking cunts. That’s just the way it is.
    Fuck them all to hell.

  6. I met a driver on a little backroad a few years ago who panicked at the sight of the tractor coming towards him,and drove too far into the soft verge, His car was bellied up the axles. I told the idiot that I’d use the tractor to pull him out,but it’d cost him £20. He basically told me to Fuck Off and that he’d ring the RAC or one of his friends to come and pull him out. Good luck to him, I thought as I drove off, there was absolutely no mobile phone signal in the area in those days,and even now there’s only EE and it can be patchy. The flash Cunt’ll have had a good 2 mile walk before he even came to the next house.

    • Aha, but did you drive right at him, under the guise of “stopping a terrorist incident”?
      Incidentally, even though I work quite literally in the middle of nowhere in rural Oxfordshire, I was fucking around on the forklift this morning and I saw a black fellow sauntering along the verge…you could’ve knocked me down with a feather. It was about as likely as Elton John getting a boner over seeing a lush pussy.
      Have you yourself ever seen a darkie in your neck of the woods, Mr F?

      • I have, Mr. Cunt-Engine. I was doing a tree-planting job for the Forestry Commission a few years ago and was standing in the middle of the site, literally miles from nowhere talking to the Forester. Suddenly the dogs went mental barking and growling,and through the early morning mist came a fella as black as the Devil’s Heart…big fucka he was, all lips and attitude. I was speechless,as was the Forester,but luckily the dogs were made of sterner stuff and went charging towards him growling and barking. Cunta Kinte faltered at the sight, and I shouted at them to come to heel. The Darkie then,to my utter amazement,asked in the broadest Geordie accent, if I was “Dick”. Now normally I always say no to that question until I’m sure who they are,but I was so surprised that I admitted it. “Careful, Dick” murmured the Forester “the bugger’s probably armed”. I nodded at the dogs to keep an eye on him,they seemed to terrify him,and demanded to know what the fuck he wanted. Turned out he was with one of the planting lads and had come to carry trees out for the day. Didn’t want paying,said that he worked in a bar and just wanted to do it occasionally for the exercise. Fuck me, the bugger was a good worker. Never had a bit of bother with him. Hell of a good laugh and so canny that I did actually pay him. Even the dogs got to like him,but I don’t think that he ever really trusted them.

      • Hey wait a minute… you mean blacks actually exist? I thought they were mythical bogeymen children were warned they would turn into if they smoked cannabis only once and inhaled…

  7. I was with them for years but had enough of the hidden charges, wide-boy spivs operating the shops, and David fucking Beckham in a sponsored shirt. You you have to vote with your feet and walk away, OP. The alternatives are pretty similar, however; most of them all employ the, “Hello Please!” call centres and all of them rape you like an illegal Somalian if you go one second over your tariff. Nonetheless, these tax-avoiding, French pirates are the lowest rung on the moral ladder.

    • Well I use PAYG so I don’t have any problems with tariffs and all that stuff.

  8. I had that issue with EE having gone over my contract time with them and free to leave at any time I explained in no uncertain terms that if they blocked “Adult content” from my phone again I would leave.
    howevere I also recall an old site called “eye vibe” run by 3 this was basicly a grown up fuck fest meeeting site, I had a reasonable profile and a user called “reily” gave me a wink and I shared my profile, I was then banned for 4 weeks because it was a fucking child! how the fuck can a child be allowed to be in such a group and more importantly why the fuck did her parents allow her to be on it.
    phone companies are cunts.

    • Fuck me, you’re not one to be trifled with,Lord B. A post that many might have wondered about posting,no bother to you. Sterling work.

      • I spent some time in a rather shit country where the multitude of security services specialised in black mail, the system only works if you are shy about your little vices.
        I never fell foul of their system, but I do recall laughing in the face of a HIS agent who told me in no uncertain terms that they “Knew” that I faced prosecution in the UK for IRA membership, this came about through their pesant intel assuming that an Irish Regiment must be IRA (Fucking knobs!)

  9. Too right Vodaphone’s a cunt. But it helps pay Cherie’s bills….she punts the company in developing countries under the pretext of ’empowering’ wimminz. So that’s three cunts right there:

    https://www.gettyimages.co.uk/detail/news-photo/vodafone-ceo-and-managing-director-marten-pieters-and-news-photo/452268386#/vodafone-ceo-and-managing-director-marten-pieters-and-founder-of-the-picture-id452268386

    Apologies, but it looks like a good 10% of all cunts ever cunted here have some connection with the Blairs.

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