Darts,snooker,indoor bowls etc…..now I’ve nothing against them,but they sure as fuck aren’t “Sports”. I just heard a commentator remark that “John Higgins,at 42 years old,remains one of Scotland’s leading sportsmen”. Admittedly,as a Scot, the mere fact that Higgins can waddle the 5 yards to the snooker table without having a tab,a drink,a deep-fried pizza,and finally a heart attack, probably does put him in the Pantheon of athletic Scots.
However,I digress. Sportspeople,to me, means young,fit,fully-haired people and not what,I suspect,resembles the line-up from the ISAC AGM. Snooker,darts etc. are not sports,they are games.
Fuck them.
Nominated by, Dick Fiddler
Excellent cunting Dick ! I am in full agreement that these “faux” sportsmen & Women are little short of a crock of shit. ” International showjumping”.( a sport! ??) It,s the fucking horse that does all the fucking work !
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Lest we forget `dressage`, or more correctly, `Strictly Come Horse Dancing`. For women & cunts. But probably not for horses.
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Saw that on the internet somewhere.
Special Olympics definitely.
That picture made me laugh
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I’ll risk derision here, but equestrian sports take a damn sight more skill than running round a track, both from the rider, and the (often, nay necessarily, equally intelligent) horse*. They also require immense amounts of money, just like the Olympics. Physical effort by the rider is at least as great as chucking a javelin or discus. And it is bitterly competitive – it may not be sport as you know it, but it’s definitely sport.
*It’s usually thought that any animal which will let you ride it has to be pretty dumb. Granted. Talk to a dressage rider for five minutes on any subject other than horses and come back to me, though.
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Sheepdog Trials….
Where are all the Canine Rights lawyers ??
Rover, you have been found guilty of assaulting the barmaid’s calf, and I hereby sentence you to spend the rest of your life with an awful chav called Chardonnay, and fetching her fluffy pink slippers.
It’s a dog’s life…
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You’re on dodgy ground here because the flakes of “e-sport” stardom would take great offence at you not believing their thumb-twiddling is not a sport!
How very dare you!?!
Armed with a 4ltr bottle of Rola Cola and two bags of Funsize Twix’s these cunts are at the pinnacle of their game and can maintain this for hours at a time, even choosing to piss themselves than risk losing Grabthar’s Hammer to an opposing team of hill dwarves.
Could you face down an entire battalion of Kaldrathi warships with just a consort class star destroyer to your name?
And could the real Messi score 5 goals in 2 minutes like these e-footballers? No, didn’t think so!
And all this whilst battling type 2 diabetes!
So have some respect for these fine e-athletes, otherwise they’ll mount their motability scooters and hunt you down! Or tell their Mums – as they’re only in their 30’s!
https://youtu.be/n6zxZORSvzQ
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There are many debates about what constitutes a Sport Vs a Game.
The simple answer to that is: if you feel knackered after doing it then it’s probably a sport, otherwise it’s just a game!
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That’s a fuckin superb post Rebel. Made I chuckle.
E-athletes. Love it.
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Great cunting Dick, with you 1000%.
I mean “Water Sports” – what crooked fuck decided pissing in ladies’ mouths and on their genitals should be classified as sport?
Whatever next, anal fisting?
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Well, I could be persuaded to take up a sport if that kind of “sports” were listed!..I mean, If you don’t try……
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I agree. The darts players look like the types who sit in a pub and drink themselves senseless. Lifting a glass to your mouth probably takes as much effort as throwing a dart at a board. If darts can be considered a sport then so can drinking.
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Buggery, the national sport of England.( see public school system for details)
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They’re basically games and should be bracketed with coverage of chess and the like.
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But what about Quidditch? That’s definitely a real sport. Just check out these cunts and how serious they are about it:
https://youtu.be/taDda9lLaEw
Oh, for a ramadan truck of peace…
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And that reminds me…..
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sHnBppccI0o
One of the best, IMO
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Well Dick
I will have to forgive you for the ” a tab,a drink,a deep-fried pizza,and finally a heart attack, probably does put him in the Pantheon of athletic Scots” comment being a Scot , payback I accept for calling you Dick Fiddled that time …
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Agree totally Dick, however can sit and watch most competitive “sports” on TV, including darts, snooker and even bowls.
Strangely have never had any interest in any sports to do with horses (which I think you have mentioned in previous posts that you enjoy) and when working on London turned down several prestige race meeting invitations from brokers. Understand though that the atmosphere is fantastic.
Did go to a couple of F1 events which I thoroughly enjoyed though did miss the BBC coverage whilst there.
Mrs Stroker is very keen on sports, and takes every opportunity to vocally support extremely loudly any Japanese sports participation when on TV. Usually restricted to gymnastics and badminton if in the UK. Sometimes football and rugby in their respective world cups.
Will always tell me (rather unfairly in my opinion) that the British are only good at sitting down sports, such as cycling, rowing and equestrian.
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Racing’s not a sport. Midgets on horseback? Give me a fucking break!
Tiddly Winkles… now there’s a sport. Sadly I was never able to make the grade.
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Over to you DF.
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He’s not rising to the bait Willie… always has been wise beyond his years.
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Is it true that most jockeys are gay?
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That shin kicking looked a right bruiser! What fucking idiot dreamed that cunt up ?
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Mad as a box of frogs, us Brits are famous for it.
Not a mention of wellie wanging though, crappy american websites….
Mind you, none of them are as mad as these cunts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl58rIDNdWA
Northern monkeys.
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Ferret roulette…
First encountered this on a brief trip to N Wales a couple of years ago.
I didn’t hang around to find out, but suspect it might be like the Russian variety.
Pass it around, until it “goes off”…
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The European Court of Justice’s top adviser said last year that Bridge should be classed as a sport as its an activity requiring “a certain effort to overcome a challenge or obstacle”. So we will ditch the Hunchback and send in Doris and Bert for Brexit negotiations.
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Bridge can get pretty physical…”WTF did you bid six spades for, partner, you utter cunt?” – *BOP*. (see also Relationships)
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Give me a proper sport like championship stareout any day over these fake sports like darts, snooker etc.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkI85Kt10e4
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How very dare you, suggesting that somehow the ISAC AGM resembles the inhabitants of a 24hr American breakfast buffet. I’ll have you know I was at a gym 5 times this week… mind you I was only there to fix the computers. You should see some of the cunts that work in those places – they must all have side jobs in gay porn because running a spin class for £8 p/h couldnt possibly have bought them the amount of nandrolone they appear to have taken…
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Speed walkers are simply athletes who haven’t had a shit.
The nearest I get to participating in sport these days is playing Checkers Pro, or draughts as we used to call it. I’ve amassed a score of over 5000. Not bad, but the top man has over 38000.
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The Flabbott has a side job as a competitive eating champ, two buckets of hot wings, 3lbs of rice ‘n’ peas, a whole watermelon and a 2 litre Kool Aid in 30 minutes.
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I thought that was her main job… Her side job is pretend Shadow Home Secrerary and Corbyn gooniegoogoo, innit?
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It’s sad that old Jockstrap Higgins is regarded as a sportsman when his behaviour in the game – I agree, not a sport – of snooker has been most unsportsmanlike. The gurning old cunt was set up by a newspaper a few years back to throw frames in tournaments. His fellow cheat was given a lifetimes ban whereas Jockstrap got away with a 6 month ban and a slap on the wrist. Now when the old fucker lumbers out at the Crucible or Alexander Palace you get the arselicking commentators gushing about how wonderful he is. He might be 42 but he looks more like 60. Probably all the deep fried Mars bars he has consumed in his second rate career.
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I enjoy snooker, but hate Higgins. Cannot bear to watch the crooked cunt.
Btw, haven’t noticed any Empire Cunts Back posts recently. Is there a snooker tournament going on in China or summat?
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I enjoy watching darts and snooker but yeah, they aren’t sports.
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As the British Monopoly championships approach it’s still undecided wether the official board used will be the regular version with squares containing London streets or there may be a break in tradition using one that displays another city.
The Liverpool version was ommited from selection at the early stages as every square says “go to jail”….
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I expect twice as many people showed up to play than had actually entered.
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I’ve played bowls for 40 years now. At a high level too with a couple of national titles to my name.
One thing I can confirm is that it’s not a sport but a game .
I can also confirm that at this competitive level our drinking exploits are enough to put any rugby team to shame.
We are amongst the noisiest bunch of piss heads you are ever likely to meet.
One of my late friends in the game used to enjoy 3 or 4 Budweiser shandy’s before a game.
That’s a triple vodka with a bottle of bud in a large glass.
One of our best was on tour in Portsmouth where 8 of us during a game that lasted just over 3 hours managed to spend a combined pot of £320 at the club bar with beer costing £2.50a pint.
Messy.
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Can you not conduct yourselves in an orderly fashion? It’s people like you who are bringing the game into disrepute. Bunch of degenerates.
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We’ve tried hard but failed miserably Sir.
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Of course in the 19th century any sport involved a rod or shotgun. Everything else was just games!
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Nothing wrong with a deep fried mars bar I’ll have you know! And I like a good speed walk since I can’t run (nothing to do with the deep fried mars bars…). The real cunts are those who bring up sport in conversation and ask who you follow and upon stating you are not a fan carry on talking about it like you care.
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