Has anyone got the phone number of a marching Brass band? Or a shop where I can hire bunting flags? It’s time to celebrate as there’s another Zombie film out this year, hot on the heels of the recent Series (or “Season” if you’re an uneducated cunt) 8 of The Walking Dead, apparently a Zombie programme about mindless automaton cunts.
(Sigh)
By the Bowels of Christ what is it with this tedious, hackneyed genre? Whether it’s films, tv series (or “seasons” if you’re an uneducated cunt), books, parodies of proper films, comedies, parodies of books, the endless cycle of re-hashed festering cack seems eternal.
No no, don’t tell me the plot, please, let me have a guess. Erm… The World has collapsed, power is down, abandoned cars festoon the streets and a ghostly silence has descended onto the once-busy city. Yet there are creepy dead people (yawn) who drag one leg whilst walking (yawwn), who feed off the living (yaww-wwn) and everyone will eventually be turned, no matter what they do, no matter how hard they try (YAWN) and human society will collapse without hope, without rebuilding or rebirth (YAWWW-WWN!).
A film industry that’s constantly bereft of ideas, ever-willing to bend to picture-by-numbers, politically-correct box-ticking, idly falls back on this feast for 15-year olds and adults deficient of excitement and imagination. Aren’t they embarrassed for the low calibre of this tepid dysentery?
Oh look, a Zombie film about a pub; oh look, a Zombie film starring Brad Pitt; oh look, a Zombie film starring a cunt ( “I am Legend” starring Will “Turd-Eater” Smith); oh look, a Zombie film where the Zombie falls in love…. all as welcome as sitting down for a bowl of cold diarrhoea soup.
ㅡ_ㅡ
The only ever decent film about trying to resurrect a dead person was “Weekend at Bernie’s.” The rest are rubbish, clichéd dogshit about mindless, automaton cunts, watched by mindless, automaton cunts.
Nominated by Captain Magnanimous
Last decent zombie film?
Day of the Dead (1987). Nothing new or imaginitive since.
By the way, has anyone checked inside George A Romero’s coffin recently.
Just in case…
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I didn’t actually realise Bernie was dead for the first hour as I was so utterly munted ….. 😂
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Sean of the Dead is my personal favourite.
Especially as it was filmed at my local boozer in Crouch End.
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Zombie Apocalypse: The Home Office
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The Walking Brain Dead…
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Supporting cast: House of Lords, Soubry, Cuntosaurus Clarke, Jellyfish Might, Flabbott, Jizza, Heseltine…
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Agree Mr Bastard, The old George A Romero movies were good and 28 days later with the running Zombies .But its been done over and over again so much that i’m totally bored with it now. You can see the Walking dead at my local Weatherspoons any time of the day.
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This Windrush malarkey is great News for Labour isn’t it ? so they can divert attention away from Anti Semitism . Sorry i’m going off subject.
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I feel your schadenfreude. But consider: the Windrush balls-up plays right into the hands of Remoaner Tories, and the vastly exaggerated antisemitism issue is aimed (consciously) at the section of Labour which is most interested in the Leave vote. By the Blairites, and very conspicuously indeed.
My priority is getting the fuck out of the EU, and I am profoundly unworried by the lack of special treatment for one ethnic minority.
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I dont know about you lot, but if you go into B&Q on a wednesday (extra 10% off for OAP’s) the whole scenario thing becomes quite credible.
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Or IKEA, where all the merchandise is called Parp, Kunt or Twatt.
Somebody would be doing society a favour if they put King Herod in as chief of in-store childcare.
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And you are loving this tastysnack, yes?
https://www.cloetta.com/en/our-offer/brands/plopp/
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The only question I have is: if the EU Govt buildings were infected by zombies and they were all turned…
…would we notice any difference?
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Ours have been for decades and nobody’s noticed anything untoward, I mean look at the dead in the House of Cunts, I mean Lords.
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Beware the SpeccySpaccy. His gaze will turn you into stone, or probably Carrara marble, which is more to the EU’s taste.
And their chieftain-elder will regurgitate semi-processed Chateuneuf du Pape all over you..
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All this zombie malarkey is a crock of cockanamie shite masquerading as edgy entertainment .We’re long overdue a global pandemic, that should liven things up in the real world. I don’t give a fuck I’ve had my flu jab.
Good morning.
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#me too. Turned out to be a bit of a damp squib. Ebola …The Return may be better. One lives in hope.
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Ebola & Zika… Amazing how these cunts were controlled and cured in such a short time yet cancers incurable?
Clearly they didn’t set up associated charitieees quick enough. They could have been asking us to text them £3 right now.
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another thing that gets me ( I tend to watch the walking dead, I admit it’s very much same old same old, but I enjoy the demise of the living characters) is this scenario.
the world has ended no power, no running water just heards of walking dead people.
Now this is an excellent opportunity, you could harness this uncomplaining workforce to run water wheels, treadmills to dinamos, grind corn, the opportunities are endless…………but nobody does it! ( I am well prepared for this one)
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Ho ho, Weekend at Bernies; good reference, Cap. I wonder if, had their boss been an attractive woman, Andrew McCarthy would’ve told the other guy to take a hike for an hour so he could interfere with her before she got too whiffy.
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Alternatively, if Andrew McCarthy had been a woman, she could have a go at the corpse, pre-mortuary. Then somebody could’ve shouted, “Bernie’s Inn.”
Try the salad.
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Zombie films?…Should be banned. Dennis Nilsen watched them before trepanning his victims. He was trying to create a Gay sex slave. Gays don’t know how to put up a shelf,but they all keep a Black and Decker drill handy,ready for the day that they can strike. This is why I’m very careful of any,possibly drugged,food or drink served by a Gay. Christopher Biggins has a full tool chest and, I suspect,very little in the way of DIY skills.Why does he want them?… Forced Gayification of the masses, that’s why.
I’d ban the sale of home improvement tools to Fruity Gentlemen…or make them put a sign in their windows warning any callers that the occupants prefer using the tradesman’s entrance.
Fuck them.
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I have it on good authority that Biggins was observed fleeing (although not very quickly on account of being 30-odd stone) the house of Dale Winton on the night he died. I’m not saying that he was central to demise of the much-loved Supermarket Sweeping bender, but there was definitely some rent boy activity involved. Poppers and KY Jelly too, presumably.
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Really? Can’t say I’m surprised. Biggins seems to be suspiciously close to a lot of The Gay celebs who died…George Michael,Kenny Everett, Freddie Mercury, Liberace, etc. Coincidence? Possibly….Anyhow, I’ve sent him a bus pass with directions to Tom Daley’s house…please Biggins,please. Go spread your Black Spot to the expectant fathers.
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On the subject of these cunts drugging prey, her indoors told me there was a story line recently on Coronation Street where that old turtle faced Gail Platts son got drugged and buggered an it seems fuck all actually came of it.
Sends the message to them cunts that they can get away with it and how easy it can be done.
I bet they sell the requirements in the websites & chat room places of ‘their’ world too.
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I heard that he was also accompanied by a heavily pregnant Tom Daley.
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Brandon Lewis is a barefaced zombie cunt.
Jacob Rees-Mogg (on LBC this morning): “I have long been an admirer of Boris Johnson.”
How many more times do I have to lose the will to live?
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Only zombie film I remember is Dusk til Dawn I think. Keitel, Hayek and Tarantino if memory serves. Which it may not.
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They were vampires CC. Another desperately over worked genre.
The pussy parlour run by Cheech wasn’t all bad though.
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My mistake but I remember ‘we got soft pussay, we got hard pussay etc. Brilliant.
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now having knocked around in that neck of the woods I can tell you there is a lot of crossover in the myths,
there are krstnik, vukodlak and pijvarica.
None of them actually suck blood but they do spread disease, normally in the wintertime, now a vukodlak will hide under unturned manure on a field (vukodlak is hair of the wolf) never really got on to the pijvarica folklore as I was too caught up in how a krstnik will become a vukodlak after death.
However handy tips for you are that you cut the tendons behind their knee and put brambles in the coffin to stop them raising from the dead.
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Only watched it a few days ago, good film. Sadly the sequel was utter bollocks, why can’t these cunts stop at the one?
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Chronic zombie James Shithead O’Brian has just come to the conclusion that politicians are liars… Such insight!
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And ISAC has deduced that he is a cunt.
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Nonentity cunt politicians of both parties have been lining up to say “Amber Rudd is a decent, honourable person”, clearly thinking “there but for the grace of God go I…”
The shits wouldn’t know the truth if it hit ’em between the peepers with a ball-pein hammer!
Sajid Javid’s dad was a bus driver, btw.
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He’s only just realised that? Wow, fucking brain of the century that cunt is. Next he’ll be telling us that the Archbishop of Cunterbury believes in God.
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I agree with the Captain, see one zombie film, you’ve seen them all. The only one I’ve got is ‘Otto, Or Up With Dead People’ which is a parody. And I’m going to be reviewing that one soon because I’m running out of space on my DVD shelf.
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Still canny believe they shot an “ endangered” polar bear cause it ate a snowflake silly cunt !!!
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They should have shot the flakes parents instead. Cunts.
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Zombie Blair (really looks the part these days) is today in Beverly Hills, doubtless negotiating his next role. He is slavering at the Milken Institute Global Conference 2018 on the topic of Navigating An Uncertain World. Or Lurching From Shithole to Shithole In Search of Money, more accurately.
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Zombie Tony yesterday, checking his fingers are still attached…
http://pictures.reuters.com/archive/MILKEN-CONFERENCE-BLAIR-RC1C1C2F9630.html
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Not familiar with zombie films, I see enough on the parliament channel.
Here comes the Flabbot as I type, Sajid giving his thoughts
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Home secretary statement in HoC that he still does not know of ANY case of a Windrush citizen being deported.
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When will that never-ending Marvel shit finish? One film seems to beget five further films, rather like babies being shat out by rats, rabbits, and people from South-East Asia.
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World War Z was indeed shit and Marc Forster is a lefty art house cunt…
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